The Rising Beyond Podcast
If you're trying to protect your children while navigating an abusive ex, this podcast is for you. Because leaving the relationship didn't end the abuse, and no one prepared you for what came next.
The Rising Beyond Podcast is for protective mothers navigating the overwhelming reality of sharing children with someone who continues patterns of manipulation, coercive control, or emotional abuse after separation. Join Sybil Cummin, licensed professional counselor, who has spent the last decade helping survivors and their children navigate this incredibly difficult chapter. Every week, we share trauma-informed education, nervous system insights, protective parenting strategies, and honest conversations about family court, post-separation abuse, and healing, so you can feel more confident, more grounded, and better equipped to protect both your children and yourself.
Whether you're in the middle of family court, struggling with parenting alongside someone who continues patterns of control, or simply trying to become the parent you want to be after everything you've survived, you'll find validation, practical guidance, and hope here.
The Rising Beyond Podcast
Ep 211: Attachment Styles, Dating After Abuse, and Why This Isn't Your Fault
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Attachment theory has become one of the most talked-about topics in the dating and relationship world.
You have probably heard terms like anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, secure attachment, and disorganized attachment. Maybe you've even wondered whether your attachment style played a role in your abusive relationship.
But what if attachment theory isn't about blaming yourself?
In this episode, I unpack attachment styles through a trauma-informed lens and explore how understanding your attachment patterns can support healing, self-awareness, and future relationships after abuse.
We discuss:
- What attachment theory actually is (and what it isn't)
- The four primary attachment styles
- Childhood experiences that can contribute to different attachment patterns
- Why attachment styles are adaptations, not character flaws
- How attachment styles can influence dating and relationships
- The role attachment may play in how we experience attention, connection, and love bombing
- Why survivors should be cautious about using attachment theory as a form of self-blame
- How coercive control and abusive relationships can create attachment injuries of their own
- Why understanding yourself is often more important than trying to become an expert at spotting abusers
One of the most important takeaways from this conversation is that attachment styles do not explain why someone was abused.
Abuse happens because someone chose to abuse.
Understanding your attachment style can be incredibly helpful for healing, building self-awareness, and creating healthier relationships moving forward. But it should never be used as evidence that you caused, invited, or deserved the abuse you experienced.
If you've ever wondered how attachment theory fits into your healing journey, this episode is for you.
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