Have you ever felt the weight of guilt as a mother, haunted by the moments you wish you could take back? I know I have, and in our latest conversation, I lay bare the emotional journey of confronting the guilt born from unintentionally instilling fear into my child. We tackle the tough work of dismantling that foundation, replacing it with trust and the unwavering grace we're so freely given. This isn't about wallowing in what's been done; it's about confessing, seeking forgiveness, and most importantly, learning to move forward. By sharing my own steps towards healing, I hope to guide you through the liberating process of letting go of the guilt that binds us.
As we delve deeper, we unearth the truths about our identity in Christ. There's a profound freedom in understanding that we are made righteous through Him, not through our own toils and efforts. I discuss how embracing this transformative belief can release us from the past and propel us into the life we are meant to live—free from the chains of guilt and fear. I encourage you to share your own stories, seek advice, and build a supportive community where we can all thrive in the light of these revelations. Together, let's step into the freedom that comes with being new creations in Christ, leaving behind old patterns for a fresh start.
Discipling mothers to disciple generations
Kingdom Mothers Rise Up is here for you. There is encouragement and practical steps to improve your relationship with yourself, God, and your child.
I'd love to connect with you. You can find me at:
Have you ever felt the weight of guilt as a mother, haunted by the moments you wish you could take back? I know I have, and in our latest conversation, I lay bare the emotional journey of confronting the guilt born from unintentionally instilling fear into my child. We tackle the tough work of dismantling that foundation, replacing it with trust and the unwavering grace we're so freely given. This isn't about wallowing in what's been done; it's about confessing, seeking forgiveness, and most importantly, learning to move forward. By sharing my own steps towards healing, I hope to guide you through the liberating process of letting go of the guilt that binds us.
As we delve deeper, we unearth the truths about our identity in Christ. There's a profound freedom in understanding that we are made righteous through Him, not through our own toils and efforts. I discuss how embracing this transformative belief can release us from the past and propel us into the life we are meant to live—free from the chains of guilt and fear. I encourage you to share your own stories, seek advice, and build a supportive community where we can all thrive in the light of these revelations. Together, let's step into the freedom that comes with being new creations in Christ, leaving behind old patterns for a fresh start.
Discipling mothers to disciple generations
Kingdom Mothers Rise Up is here for you. There is encouragement and practical steps to improve your relationship with yourself, God, and your child.
I'd love to connect with you. You can find me at:
Last week I talked about the picture that the Lord had given me, showing that I had laid a foundation of fear for my daughter, and one of the questions that came in that I didn't see until after I went live was dealing with the guilt of having laid that foundation and how to deal with that. I realized I mentioned removing the foundation and I didn't really explain that and then I didn't really deal with the guilt at all actually, which, on my part, is a sign of growth because I lived in that guilt for so long. So to be able to just see, oh I laid that foundation, I don't want that to be there, I'm going to remove it, shows huge, huge growth. Instead of I need to beat myself up and I need to repent again and again and again and need to just feel so miserable for all the mistakes I've made and all of that kind of thing that I have done in the past when it comes to making mistakes. And I'm just now realizing that and putting that together, because I wrote about removing the foundation and then, as I came this morning and I'm preparing to do the live, I was like, oh, the question asked about the guilt. It didn't even ask about removing the foundation. It just asked about the guilt and I'm like, yeah, that needs to happen before you're going to remove that foundation, because if you're still beating yourself up for having made the mistake, then I think you're probably still giving that fear power that it doesn't actually need to have.
Speaker 1:So we make mistakes when we're raising our kids. We don't like to, we don't mean to. That's why there are mistakes, but we do. We make mistakes when we're raising our kids and some of those mistakes have long-term consequences and that really really sucks. As a mom, that's super hard. I'm not feeling guilty is a legitimate feeling. You did something wrong, you did something that you wish you hadn't done, so you feel guilty. The good news is that Jesus already paid for all our mistakes, so we don't need to continue to feel guilty. We need to receive forgiveness. Receiving forgiveness is as simple as saying we're sorry and confessing what we did wrong. Because, first, john 1-9 tells us that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of all of our sins. So the sin is forgiven, the guilt is gone.
Speaker 1:The enemy might keep throwing it back in your face and keep saying, oh, your kids are this way because of you. You screwed them up. No, you may have done things, but you're also now doing things different. When you have seen what you've done wrong, then you have the opportunity to now see what to do different. You can confess to your children as well as for confessing to God what you did wrong and explain how you're going to do things differently and you're going to train them and discipline them.
Speaker 1:Training discipline really is training. It's walking through. It's not punishment Try and punish you to do something different. It's training. And that's what I was saying in laying the foundation that I laid, that foundation of being afraid and I basically trained her to be afraid. So now it's retraining to not be afraid. It's retraining to stand in faith and to trust that God has got you. If you're not in a place yourself to not partner with that fear, it's going to be hard to retrain them, but I think that's one of the beautiful things of motherhood is that we can retrain ourselves. At the same time, we retrain our children, because it's easier to see in them the things that we don't like, the things that we want to be different, and then the Holy Spirit is there to be like. They got that from you, you're doing that same thing, but the Holy Spirit's voice is a gentle like you see this. Let's change it when the enemy's voice is. Look at how you screwed up. You're never going to get this right. Look at all the damage you've done. That's not God, that's not him, and so you don't need to talk to yourself that way if God is not talking to you that way, and you definitely don't need to let the enemy talk to you that way. And you can do this at the same time that you're helping your child, because then you're just going to be that much more aware of who's talking and what's going on.
Speaker 1:Part of getting rid of the guilt is asking for and receiving forgiveness. To truly like I receive it, I'm forgiven. Yes, it was wrong. I wish I hadn't done it, but I am forgiven. I receive forgiveness and then to walk out living differently, which is part of removing the foundation as well. In the situation with Tegan and I yes, I was guilty of laying the foundation I was able to say that was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. So wish I had not done that. Thank you for forgiving me, thank you for making that new, and now we walk out the.
Speaker 1:You don't need to be afraid. Here's facts to show you you don't need to be afraid that fact that I've never lost you, the fact that I don't leave without telling you where I'm going and what I'm doing, the fact that God has told you he will never leave you and you know just like. So here's the facts. Like you can look around and see and you can remember things to remind yourself that you're safe and you don't need to be afraid that when she does react in fear and this is an area that I need to work on a responding with compassion of that's a real feeling, it's a very overwhelming feeling. So we can recognize that, yes, you're feeling that and then you can calm down and see you don't need to feel that, you don't need to keep it. So it's part of that disciplining and discipling really how to walk without the fear, how to choose to trust instead of choosing to be afraid, Just like you might need to walk out trusting that you're forgiven instead of choosing to listen to the condemnation from the enemy of how you screwed up or what you did wrong.
Speaker 1:I had mentioned in the last podcast about removing the foundation, but I didn't really explain like what did that look like, and I realized part of why I didn't explain it was because it's just kind of automatic for me after all these years. Like I'm not. There's absolutely no shame or condemnation if it's not automatic for you. I've been working on this for at least 15 years, probably 20. I can see growth in me to see that, oh, now I can do this fairly automatically, but that wasn't always the case, and so there is absolutely no shame or condemnation for you if it's not the case for you. It just means that you're going to practice more until it is automatic for you. He showed me that I had laid the foundation.
Speaker 1:There was that gentle conviction of like yeah, you did this, this is where this came from, but there was no condemnation with it and it was just like oh well, I did that and I didn't want to do that, so we're going to take it out, kind of like if I'm crocheting something and I don't like the way it turned out or I messed up the stitches, like, oh, whatever, just pull it out and do it again. I don't need to beat myself up. I don't need to go on and on about how I can't focus and can't follow a pattern or whatever. I don't need to do the things that I could say to beat myself up. I just simply pull out the stitches and do it again, trusting the Lord's forgiveness and trusting his goodness to turn all things for good for those who love him. So mistakes aren't near as intimidating as a mom, when you remember that God promises to turn all things and work them all out in some way for good. So you have to be kind of like oh, I love him and you're following his purposes. In that I can just be like yeah, I made a mess there, let's fix it. I heard the conviction of the Holy Spirit and was able to just that quickly in my heart be like yep, let's change that. I tried to break it down of like so what were the steps in the process that I had to learn to get there? I got to the point that I was wrong and I was not. That is agreeing with God that that was a mistake, that I did something wrong. So I came into agreement with him. I agreed yeah, that's wrong, I don't want that. There. I just had led to this pattern of behavior in her that I don't like and then I wanted to get rid of. So I agreed with him. I asked for forgiveness. I received his forgiveness and it's just as simple as please forgive me. Thank you for forgiving me Again. I know that when I asked for forgiveness he gives it, because that's what he said he promised me in 1st John. I was able to recognize that this was.
Speaker 1:The thinking at the time was that I need to keep her safe, I need to make sure that she doesn't stop breathing when she's asleep, and I'm going to do that by having her sleep with me. The decision to have her sleep with me wasn't necessarily a bad decision in and of itself. It was a bad decision because I made it out of fear and so now I can look back and go Okay, I didn't want to think that way, but I can see. Looking back, I agreed with the enemy. I said, yes, I need to be afraid for my daughter. I can't trust God to keep her safe. I need to do it. So, seeing that's how I was thinking, I don't want to think that way anymore. So I'm breaking agreement with that lie that God can't keep my daughter safe. I have to do it. And that sounds just like that.
Speaker 1:Say I break the agreement with this lie that I need to keep her safe and that God wasn't going to do it. I said, by the authority I have in Jesus, I remove that foundation from her life and I remove the repercussions of having laid that foundation and trained her in that behavior in Jesus' name. So the foundation is gone. The reality also is that I live, we all live into realities. So in the spirit, because of the authority that Jesus gave me, that he has, because of his perfect life, death and resurrection, the foundation is gone. In the spirit realm, in the physical realm, where we also live in the natural. She has habits. I have habits that we now get to change by the grace of God, that we get to practice walking differently than we walked before. We stay anchored in what we know to be true, in the Spirit, that God is faithful, that he gave us authority, that when he says something's done, it's done, and that helps us to change those habits in the natural, because I don't have to think that way anymore, I don't have to act that way anymore.
Speaker 1:I grew up with like I was trying to change it on my own and bring it to God.
Speaker 1:I was trying to be good enough for His love. I was trying to be good enough to get to Him, and it's so backwards because we can't be anyway. But we can remember, we can choose to believe that what he says is true, that we are the righteousness of Christ, that when we say a thing is done in His name and it's in alignment with His word, it's done when we remind ourselves and we stay in that place. Now we're free to be a different person, instead of the old person trying to be a different person. We're free to be that different person because when I remember those things, remember those promises, I feel differently, I automatically want to act differently, I automatically see situations differently and I'm going to make different choices.
Speaker 1:Focusing on what he says is true is the easiest and most powerful way to stop feeling guilty and to stop these old patterns that we may have created without even realizing it. I'd love to hear if you have more questions or more thoughts on that. If you have specific situations that you're like okay, I kind of get it, but how does it apply here? Let me know and I can talk to you about that individually, or it could be another podcast. Thank you so much for being here and we will see you next time.