In episode 93, I shared the revelation the Lord had given me about my daughter's fear of me losing her. I laid a foundation for that fear when she was an infant and removed when the Lord revealed it. The story I share in today's episode is another big step in the journey. In talking and listening to the Lord we discovered her fear of the dark was linked to that same core fear. More of the wall is removed in her heart.
Discipling mothers to disciple generations
Kingdom Mothers Rise Up is here for you. There is encouragement and practical steps to improve your relationship with yourself, God, and your child.
In episode 93, I shared the revelation the Lord had given me about my daughter's fear of me losing her. I laid a foundation for that fear when she was an infant and removed when the Lord revealed it. The story I share in today's episode is another big step in the journey. In talking and listening to the Lord we discovered her fear of the dark was linked to that same core fear. More of the wall is removed in her heart.
Discipling mothers to disciple generations
Kingdom Mothers Rise Up is here for you. There is encouragement and practical steps to improve your relationship with yourself, God, and your child.
Hey there, kingdom Mothers. I am driving right now so you might hear some road noise and some vehicle noises, but I wanted to share with you kind of the next step or a part of walking out the new foundations fromin episode 93, I talked about my daughter having this core fear of being afraid that I would lose her or that she would lose me, and figuring out kind of where that came from and removing that foundation that I had laid, and then, like, also talked about that, just because the spiritual truth and reality is that that foundation is removed, it still has to be walked out. I still have to choose and she still has to choose not to partner with fear. And so last night I put her to bed and sheshe didn't really want to go to bed but she went to bed fine, and then about 10-15 minutes later I can tell that she's crying and so I go in there and she had left a bunch of her stuffed animals out that normally sleep in her bed. They were out from where she had played with them, so that was irritating to me, but I like not making a battle out of this. See, here's your stuffed animals Go to sleep and then I go back out and pretty soon, I think she I don't remember now she called me back in or she came out and said that she has felt sad and she didn't know why.
Speaker 1:
So I was like, okay, well, like what are you feeling sad about? Well, she was sad that she didn't get to play with her big brother longer, and I could tell that there was something more. But you know, that was all she was coming up with. It's like well, okay, let's you know, sit with that and see if there's something more. So then she realized that she was sad. I'm drawing a blank on what the other thing she was sad about was but she still wasn't wanting to go back to bed. And I'm like so there's that to be something else here, like what's going on? And she couldn't think of anything else. So she went back to bed. Well, she started to go back to bed. She like made it two steps into her room maybe before she was crying again, and so I invited her back to the couch.
Speaker 1:
I'm like, what is going on? I don't like the wind and, to be fair, it gets quite windy. The wind makes a lot of noise and, like I don't always like the wind, it sounds like it's breaking things and in some seasons it really is breaking things and damaging things, but overall we've never really suffered dramatic wind damage. You know down trees, but like, not property damage beyond that and she hasn't experienced anything, you know. So, like it's just the noise and it's like, okay, but like, why are you afraid of the wind? Like, what are you afraid is going to happen? And she's afraid the power is going to go out. Because that has been a thing. Like wind blows trees down on the power lines. The power is out, sometimes for a little while, sometimes for a couple of days if it's bad enough, and so it's like, okay, but then, like, what are you scared of with the power being off? And I was like, oh okay, so right, you're scared.
Speaker 1:
The wind blows, the power goes out, and then she likes to sleep in our room because she doesn't like the wind is what I've always thought of. Like she just doesn't, like you know all that noise and everything. So she wants to sleep in our room and be close. But in talking to her last night I realized like she's not scared of the wind, she's scared of the dark, because when the power goes out it's dark and like, but like, why are you afraid of the dark? That's, you know, one of those things that, like we have do other episodes on all the things that we have done to give her tools to deal with the dark and like her room isn't even dark. But when the power goes out, then her room is dark and like, like you know, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid you're gonna be eaten? Are you afraid you're gonna be? Like what is the fear? Because it seems pretty big.
Speaker 1:
And as I was asking her, she decided that it would be easier for her to do a doodle and put it on paper. And I'm like, yeah, that's perfectly fine, that often works best for me too. So she got a piece of paper and she drew a picture of herself being scared. And then she wrote because, as while she was drawing, I made the connection Like are you afraid that when it's dark, you won't be able to see, find me, or that I won't be able to find you in the dark? Yes, that was it. Like this makes so much sense now. Like it's that core fear and that if it's dark, mom won't be able to find me. If the wind is blowing, it might end up being dark and mom won't be able to find me, I won't be able to find mom. So she wanted she wrote down I can't find mom, mom can't find me. And as she finished writing it, I'm like, well, hang on a second. And she's seven.
Speaker 1:
So I was spelling most of it out for her. She could spell, you know, spell some of it. But I was spelling it out for her and she wanted to write it down. I said so are you hearing? Like, are you thinking? Are you thinking I'm not gonna be able to find mom, mom's not gonna be able to find me? Or are you hearing you're not gonna be able to find your mom, your mom's not gonna be able to find you? And she's like that one, it's the enemy.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so that also makes more sense that the enemy is telling you that you need to be afraid because that's where all of it comes from anyway. You need to be afraid that the wind is blowing and the power is going to go out and you're not going to be able to find me, or I'm not going to be able to find you. Like, is that true? No, it's not true. How do we know that's not true? Well, we know it's not true because it's never happened like every time that it's dark and you call out for me, I have found you, and anytime that you have needed me, you have found me. Like one way or the other we have connected. It has never happened that we haven't been able to find each other, even in the dark, and there's been nothing, you know, that's ever happened to hurt us with the wind and and all of that.
Speaker 1:
And so I asked her if she needed to repent for agreeing with that lie that she needed to be afraid, and she did so. We I led her through that just simply gotta repent of agreeing with this lie that I can't find my mom and my mom can't find me. Thank you for forgiving me. And then I had had her ask God what he had for her, and he gave her a crocheting kit, which I think is fun, and looking back, I'm like, oh, I should have had her ask another question to receive any motion besides scared, because, like, scared was what she got rid of. But she felt better and she wanted to write down something like I was feeling scared, but I'm not now, um, and so she felt better and she went to bed and she stayed in her own bed all night. So I wanted to share the story with you, the like.
Speaker 1:
This is what it looked like to walk out that step in kind of a big way, because it ended up being, you know, a big thing in a process and um, so you just see what that looked like and if I didn't slow down and explain it enough, let me know um, but it's, you know, it's this process I'm walking her through. It's not um, you don't have to be afraid anymore, so stop being afraid. That's like okay, see that you're afraid, but let's figure out why you're afraid. Do you have a reason to be afraid? Like, obviously you, you feel something in you feels that, yes, you have a reason to be afraid and when I'm showing up as my best self, I can have compassion for that, instead of just being like you don't have any reason to be afraid, so knock it off. And that allows that, like, I see the fear, I see how intense the fear is and we can figure out where it's coming from and take its power away.
Speaker 1:
Because, like, as soon as she saw, like, oh no, it's not me thinking that I can't find my mom, it's the enemy telling me that I'm not going to be find able to find my mom, like her countenance changed instantly because, like, oh well, I know for sure that's a lie and I talked to her about that of like. So if Satan is telling you that, what do you know? Well, I know it's a lie because he's a liar. And so if he's telling you that you can't find your mom, that's pretty much a guarantee that you can, and so you can just thank him for reminding you that you can find your mom. And she thought that was great. She was like oh, he's trying to trick me, but I can trick him. Like, yep, you can just take that fear that he's trying to give you and be like thank you for the reminder that I don't actually have to worry about that, because if I did need to worry about it, you wouldn't be telling me to worry about it.
Speaker 1:
So it's conversations, it's paying attention to Holy Spirit, it's being able to set my own emotions aside because, like I was frustrated, my husband had to go back out and plow some snow last night and so it was like perfect, put her to bed and I'm going to have some alone time. I'm going to get some writing done. And like I didn't get any done because I only got her to bed like 15 minutes before he got home, and so it just set aside my frustration and my irritation that she's not going to bed, and sometimes she's not going to bed and she's just not being obedient, and we deal with that differently. But being aware of when there's something real going on, and like what she was bringing me at first that she was sad was like, well, yeah, you might be sad, but you're not.
Speaker 1:
You're not sad enough to be acting the way you're acting, like there's something else going on, and being able to sit with her and ask her you know, like I'll ask her to look around and see what else is there, and for that I like just have her close your eyes and imagine that she's looking at her heart and what does she see there? So she sees sadness and sometimes she'll see anger or whatever. And last night she was able to see like, well, and looking at her heart, she didn't see that. She was sad about her, scared about the wind, and it took her physically going back to her room and being like no, I'm still really scared. So that's just an example of the process of walking that out and coming into agreement with. What is already true in the spiritual is that the foundation is removed and there's no fear. But practically what does that look like? To say, okay, I don't need to let this fear bullen me around or control my behavior.