Kingdom Mothers Rise Up

Breaking The Lie Of “Never Good Enough”

• Mukkove - The Mom Mentor

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In this episode, I share what it currently looks like for me coming out of a season of feeling I couldn't do anything right.

The tools I've learned over the last 20 years make all the difference. You can learn them, too.

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SPEAKER_00:

Do you ever feel like you can't do anything right? No matter how hard you try, that you're just never going to be good enough. It's never gonna work. That's a really hard place to be. And I want to share with you how hearing God's voice and being able to have conversations with him help to break that cycle. If you're new here, I'm McCove, and I help Christian women learn to hear God's voice and see how it builds relationships with him to truly change everything. And part of me feels like a big hypocrite trying to share this with you. Um I guess I don't. The enemy keeps telling me that I'm a hypocrite sharing this with you because I've been in a season of hearing that voice really loudly, that I can't do anything right and feeling very defeated and confused because I've dealt with this before and thought that I had overcome and like silenced this voice, but it's been back really loud. And so then the enemy's right there to be like, so who are you to share? Because you're still dealing with the same thing. Well, the reality is I'm not dealing with the same thing in the same way. And that's really the hope that I offer to you is not that everything is gonna get fixed and that everything is gonna be like you're gonna learn these things, and then life is gonna be but a roses. It's not. The struggles are never going away, the side of heaven. What I want to offer you is the tools and the strategies and the skills so that you can handle life that keeps lifeing and it keeps happening. And do I always recover as fast as I want to? No, but I recover faster than I used to. And that's what we have to look at is are we making progress? Is there change? It's not flipping a switch from failing to success, it's a gradual process of moving from failure to failure to failure that's getting us closer to success because we're human, we're gonna struggle, we're gonna fail. And so that's kind of bonus. Like, I want to talk you through what does it look like for me this time, because I have more tools now, and so I can pass those tools on to you. What does it look like coming out of the season of the voice of I can't do anything right? So, in this season where that voice has been so loud that I can't do anything right, it's just condemning and harsh, like cruel voice. And then it's right there anytime I do anything wrong, which it's not wrong, like not sin wrong, just a mistake or a misunderstanding. It was right there to be like, see, here's proof, you can't do anything right. One of my favorite ways and the tools that the Lord has given me for processing through this, like when there's this thought that's so loud that I know isn't true, but it feels so true, is what I call heart doodling with Jesus. And it's a process where I ask, like, if how I was feeling right now was a picture, like what would that look like? And I take the time to journal what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what the Lord is saying, sorting through things. And so this is one that I did with the whole I can't do anything right. She's half and half because there's this battle between I have to do the right thing, but I can't do the right thing. And as I was sitting with that, I realized that trying to do everything right, like these things weren't right or wrong, like sin or not sin. They were just things that people might not be happy with. So for me, the I can't do anything right was really people pleasing, was trying to keep everybody happy. And in a way, that was freeing because I realized, like, yep, I can't do anything right if that if the definition of it is keeping everybody happy. So I'm free from that. Like the devil can continue to tell me that I can't do anything right, you can't do anything right. Yep, not when that's the definition, I can't. So realizing and sitting with that with the Lord of like, well, where did this come from? That I thought doing right meant keeping people happy. And I don't have like a clear this specific instance, it just was how my childhood brain picked up what I was being taught in church and at home of, oh, if I'm not keeping somebody happy, then what I did was wrong, and I don't want to do what's wrong because then God wouldn't be happy, and I want God to be happy with me. So that got twisted and translated, I'm sure, with the enemy's help, into the right thing to do is to keep everybody happy. And if you're not doing that, then you're wrong. And since I don't know for sure what's gonna keep people happy, then I actually can't do anything right. And realizing like the the enemy had been telling me that, but I'd also come to a place where I was agreeing with him because he can accuse me and say, you can't do anything right. I can agree with that and start judging myself and say, I can't do anything right. So I had to come out of that agreement with that lie and say, you know, according to this definition, no, I can't, I can't do anything right. I'm not even trying anymore. Like, father, forgive me for trying to please everybody instead of tuning into what you're saying and seeking your heart in these situations. I did another heart doodle of me holding little me. And it's I don't have any scientific degrees or training or anything to talk about parts. I just talk about parts because it's helpful to me, and I just use them in a way of the same way that maybe there's an event coming up, and you're like, oh, part of me is really excited about this, and part of me is not looking forward to that. That's like how I'm using it. And it's very helpful for me to think, like, okay, when I hear this thought of I can't do anything right, how old do I feel? When did I learn this? And I'm very little, and so I did a do of me today holding a very little me, and just I guess like mothering her, letting her be heard, letting her know that I see how hard it's been for her to try and keep everybody happy, and that her choosing to make everybody happy, like wasn't really a like she wasn't doing anything wrong. She was doing what she thought she needed to do, she was doing the best she could, and that I can understand that, I can have compassion for that, and then I can release her. If you don't need to do that anymore, I've grown up, I have Jesus, I have Holy Spirit, we have all these resources that you didn't have, and so it's okay. You can stop trying to keep everybody happy, you can stop trying to make sure that I'm always thinking about trying to keep everybody happy, and reminding her that pleasing someone does not equal loving them. Love is doing what's best for someone, and sometimes they don't like that, but that's okay. That's what God does for us. He does what's best for us now, what we're gonna like, and ultimately, like if we take a long-range view of things, we're gonna like it, we're gonna be happy that he loved us instead of pleased us, and most people will too, not all of them, but most of them. So, in that process of heart-doodling, I'm able to put those things down on paper and able to hear the Lord like I didn't recognize that I was equating doing the right thing to people pleasing until I put it on paper. And recognizing, like, oh, right, it's the enemy telling me that I can't do anything right. And unfortunately, I had been agreeing with him. But most likely going forward, if I'm hearing that thought and I write it down, it's most likely the enemy coming in to try and get me to believe that again. So if you struggle with feeling like you can't do anything right or you will never be good enough, I would encourage you to pull out some paper. And if you're feeling creative or extra courageous, depending on how that lands for you, try and make a picture of what does it feel like? What would it look like if you put in a picture how that feels when you can't do anything right? And you might be in the picture, you might not be. It can be anything. And give yourself that space to draw the picture, to paint or color the picture, and also to journal like what are the thoughts and feelings that are coming up with this? And one of them are true, what of them need to be acknowledged and released, what of them need to be repented of. Um, I call that the cleanup process, and I'll definitely do more videos talking about that. But I just want to let you know you can do things right, you're here, you're seeking the Lord, or you wouldn't be watching my videos. So you are doing something right. And check in with yourself if you're here and you can't do anything right, or you can't do anything good enough. What's actually that definition of right or good enough? Does that definition match what God is saying is right and good enough? Because in Christ, we are the righteousness of Christ. We actually can't do wrong. And not that if we go out and blatantly sin, that doesn't cause problems with us in the Lord. But there's that reality of we are the righteousness of Christ seated with him in heavenly places, and so there's forgiveness and grace for when we make mistakes and even for when we sin, as long as we're coming back to him and seeking him, not if we're like, oh, there's grace, I can go live however I want. He'll get into trouble. But if we sin and we see the sin and we repent and we come back to the Lord again, his blood covers everything, and it's so much more than we deserve. It's so amazing. Um thanks for listening to my story, my rambling, and I will see you in the next video.