Kingdom Mothers Rise Up

Staying Focused Isn't the Answer

• Mukkove - The Mom Mentor • Season 4 • Episode 6

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When I asked God how to stay focused, He said, "You don't. You refocus"

In this episode, I share 9 practical ways to refocus when you find your focus has shifted away from God.

Let me know which ones you try or how you refocus.

I'd love to connect with you!

SPEAKER_00:

How do I stay focused? I asked the Lord that question, and his answer surprised me. It might surprise you too, because I said, How do I stay focused? And I was asking, like, how do I stay focused on him? Because I was looking at my emotions and different situations and things I was confused about, and was like, I know that's not where I need to focus. I need to focus on him because he's above that and he's bigger and he knows the answers. So I was asking, How do I stay focused? And he said, You don't. You refocus. And that was so freeing because it shows how he understands our humanity. He knows that we are not going to stay focused. Setting the goal to be to stay focused is setting ourselves up to fail. Instead, the goal is how fast can I refocus when I lose focus? And I'm a very like, how do I do that type of person? Don't just tell me what to do. I need to know how to do that. So if the goal is to refocus, obviously the most basic refocus is you switch back to focusing on the thing that you were focusing on. You're focusing on God, situation distracts you, you look back to God, you've refocused. That type of answer is not helpful. I feel like those types of answers are almost like spiritual bypassing of like, we'll just do it. Yeah, if I knew how to just do it, then I probably wouldn't be asking the question in the first place. I would probably just be refocusing and we'd be moving along fine. So I don't, I do my best to not give those kinds of answers. So I have a list of several practical things that you can do to refocus when you recognize that you have lost your focus on the Lord, when you recognize that you're worrying, you're overthinking, you're trying to control things you can't control, however, that shows up in your life that are signs like, oh, I need to refocus on the Lord and what he says and what his promises are. So one way to refocus, and these aren't in any particular order, they're just the order they came to mind. One way you can refocus is to grab a piece of paper and a pen and just simply draw a box. Very basic, but it helps you slow down and think, what do I want to focus on? And you could take it a step further and like write what you want to focus on inside the box, or you could write all the stuff that's distracting in the box and be like, I'm gonna close up this box and I'm not focusing on that stuff right now, but I need to get it out of my head. It's just a super simple first step to slow down, and you might go further with it, want to make a picture of what you're supposed to be focusing on, or you might want to write things out, whatever. But you can take the time to just breathe and draw that box to remind yourself you get to choose what you're focusing on. And for the moment, you're already refocused away from the troubles and the distractions a little bit because you're focused on drawing the box. So you've already shifted your focus a little bit, and then as you slow down and listen for the Lord, you can refocus more fully.

SPEAKER_01:

Something else you can do to refocus is kind of zoom out.

SPEAKER_00:

Sometimes they call it like the 30,000-foot view. And there's different tools that all different ways of zooming out, of asking, will this matter in five years? Is a good way to zoom out and see is this thing that's vying for your attention and distracting your focus, is it important? Is it gonna matter in five years? One of my favorite ways to zoom out is to remember that I am seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus. So I'm zooming way out and go up and sit with him and see how the perspective shifts instead of being down here in the confusion and the struggle and the strife and whatever there might be. Instead of being in it, realizing I'm above it, and so I can sit with him above it and talk with him. Like, what do you see? And what do I need to do? What are you doing that I'm not seeing when I'm down here in the fog? Um, and that leads me to another way that you can refocus, and I call it heart doodling with Jesus because I just make simple sketches and I use watercolor paint to add color to it to give myself more space to slow down. But there's many times where I take and I paint that perspective of whatever's down here in the fog, the confusion, the strife, the feelings of failing or discouragement, whatever it is that's down here, like the fog is so thick I can't see, and I, you know, paint that all gray and murky. But then on the top of the page, it's bright and clear, and there's the throne, and I'm sitting talking to Jesus, and up there, there's hope and clarity and vision and peace and confidence and all these things, and taking the time to paint it just again helps to slow down and gives time to refocus instead of expecting ourselves to just be able to like flip a switch and everything's better. It takes time to shift. I don't know, it takes time to turn a ship around, it doesn't just flip, it's got to turn, and it's okay that we turn. Like I said at the beginning, when I asked God, how do I stay focused? He's like, You don't stop expecting that of yourself. You can't just stay focused, and you can't always just flip a switch to refocus. Sometimes it's that turning back, and the turning is a process, it's not flipping, it's a turning. And so the painting, the journaling gives you space to turn. And part of that turning can be like some of those emotions of helplessness or discouragement or whatever, probably need to be acknowledged that they're real and they're valid. And when you acknowledge that they're real and they're valid, then it's easier to turn the control away from them and turn the control back to your spirit and your choices. Which would be another reason why, like, just flipping the switch isn't helpful and isn't lasting because those emotions are still going, wait, but we're still worried, we're still scared, we still don't understand. Where when you validate them and be like, Yeah, based on what's going on, it makes sense that you're scared or that you're worried about this. I hear you. And we can remember that God is with us. We have these promises, we're seated with him in heavenly places, and so I hear you, but you don't get to be in charge.

SPEAKER_01:

Another helpful way to refocus is to cry.

SPEAKER_00:

Sometimes need to cry, it might be part of acknowledging those emotions that there's stuff that's just sad and hard. And if you're like me, I cry when I'm mad too. So, but it's a way that God made to get that out of our body instead of trying to ignore it and take all of that with us in a new direction. We can just leave it here, and then going the new direction will be easier. And crying is one way of letting that out, and you can also dance or shake or do breathing exercises. There's power in moving your body and letting letting that stuff out, of just letting it surface and and release instead of stuffing it down and trying to take it with you. Prayer is obviously a very effective way of refocusing, coming back to who God is and whatever you're if you're worrying, if you're anxious, if you're afraid, if you're trying to control things, God has a name for that. He uses all kinds of different names through the scripture of, you know, being our shepherd, or being the God who sees, or the God who provides, the God who heals, the God who protects. Got all these different names. So in prayer, focus on that name that fits your situation. The God of unfailing love, our Prince of Peace. It's a wonderful counselor. And again, it helps to refocus on right, I don't have the answers. I don't know what to do. I'm overwhelmed, but I know the one who does. And he's not stressed, so I don't have to be, I don't have to be worried about this.

SPEAKER_01:

And he's willing to hear your requests and your concerns, your complaints.

SPEAKER_00:

Again, he understands your humanity. He's not frustrated by it, he's not disappointed by it. So you could come and say whatever you need to say, it's gonna be okay. If you are in a season where maybe it's a long-term situation with whatever health, with a person, with work, with ministry, with business, whatever it is, taking the time to find scripture that speaks to your situation, that speaks hope and promise to your situation. And then when you find your focus has slipped, going back to those verses to refocus, right? This is what God said for this season. He promised he would be with me. He promised that he's not going anywhere, that he has wisdom, that he is providing, that no matter how bad this gets, I'm not going under, I'm not gonna drown, not gonna be crushed. Doesn't mean it's all gonna be a cakewalk, but he's going to be with me and he's going to work it for my good when I'm staying in step with him. So having those scriptures, whether they're highlighted in your Bible or I have a little notebook that I've written and painted and whatever in that I can grab that and kind of have like flip notes version or whatever to like, let me see this. What was it you said for this season? I don't have to go looking for it. It's it's there, and I've written it out and I've highlighted the words and you know spent time with the Lord focusing on his word and focusing on him. And so then when I come back to it, it's easier to refocus because there's already some experience there versus like flipping through your Bible trying to find a verse.

SPEAKER_01:

A fun way to refocus is to create a playlist.

SPEAKER_00:

I have a playlist called Battle Songs. And so when it feels like just everything is coming against me and I can't figure it out, and it's not gonna get me better, and all that stuff that attacks me sometimes. I I have that playlist of battle songs, and there are different songs that just speak the truth of God that speak who I am and the hope of his calling, and and those things. There's been other times and seasons in my life where I've just like had a song, and that was my song for that season. Um, and there's there's definitely seasons of my life that are marked by a song. So a playlist is good, it might just be one song that's on repeat. And for me, like I didn't have a device or a CD or dating myself, but like I didn't have something that was I didn't necessarily have something that was playing the song, it was just the song I was singing, and you know, so different songs for different seasons, and those songs are in my playlist, in my battle songs playlist now because they also remind me of those past seasons that the Lord brought me through. Um, miscarriage of a child, pregnancy after miscarriage, after 13 years of not having pregnancies. That's my story. I had three kids, and then I had a miscarriage, and just thought, well, we're done. And then 13 years later, I got pregnant again at um 42, and so just all the things. Um, so there were songs from those seasons that are in that playlist that remind me like the Lord brought me through, he gave me beauty for ashes, he walked me through, he taught me more about himself, and those songs remind me of all of that and bring that so I can refocus on like right, he is good, and everything doesn't have to go the way I want it to. I don't have to understand for him to be good and for me to choose to trust him. And I do have to choose to trust him because in myself, I don't always trust him, but I need to refocus that he's trustworthy, and so I can choose to trust him. So the next time you find that you have lost focus, I hope one of these ideas will help you to refocus. Remember that it's a process of shifting your focus back and that you'll leave a comment below what was helpful to you, or come and share it in our Healing Generations community on school. And we'll see you next time.