Is It Even Worth It? - Episode 128

Do you doubt your worth?

If you have been tying to convince yourself of a truth and it just doesn’t seem to be working it might be because you need to start with your heart instead of your head.

Thoughts and emotions are closely connected. Unlike much of what I read on the internet I believe emotions create thoughts, not the other way around.

An event happens and you automatically have emotions. 

Then you create thoughts about your experience. This happens so fast and subconsciously that it seems like they are automatic, too. They aren’t. You choose what you think. If you didn’t believe that then you wouldn’t be trying to change your thinking.

Listen to this week’s podcast to hear how this showed up in a client’s life in regards to pricing a new tool they were creating and how meeting the heart need quickly shifted her thought process.

00:00 Doubting Your Offer

01:12 A Heart Level Block

01:50 Gods Perspective Shift

02:36 Why Mindset Alone Fails

04:02 Heart Doodling Method

05:33 Tracing Doubt to Childhood

07:21 How Emotions Create Beliefs

10:53 Healing the Root Memory

12:59 What Makes My Work Different

13:54 Invitation and Closing

I'd love to connect with you!

• Find community in Healing Generations
•  Learn how God communicates with you in Transformational Quiet Times

Transcript

The Fear Of Charging Money

SPEAKER_00 0:14

I'm just not sure it's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

I don't know why anyone would pay for this. They could just go to Chat GPT and get all this information.

When Doubt Is A Heart Issue

Listening To Emotions With Care

SPEAKER_00 0:28

This was the thought process and the questions that my client was struggling with. She has successfully done many times over what she teaches her clients to do. She was struggling with if this new tool that she was creating was really going to be of any value to anyone. We had talked about it over the course of a few weeks, and in our conversation, she would come to a point of seeing that it did have value, that it was worthwhile, but then it would come back again, that she was questioning again. Like, I just don't know if anybody's really gonna want to pay for this. If it really offers any value, I realized that what I was saying, and even that what she was saying in our conversations where she was changing her mind, wasn't enough. Since the logic and the reasoning wasn't working, I realized it was a heart issue. No matter what convincing arguments either of us made to convince her mind that the price was a good price. There was a place in our heart that still doubted that anyone would want to pay or that it would have any value. And in this particular instance, I didn't go back and ask her why this doubt was there when she'd first felt it or any of those kind of things. We just acknowledged that it was there. And then we asked God for his perspective of the value of this thing that she was creating and that she was questioning the value of. And he gave her a picture of the thing that she was creating being a tool that his light could shine through into the lives of others. And the next time I talked to her, she was bright and excited and ready to move forward, and had decided that she could increase the price of her one-on-one offer as well. And the reason that I'm sharing this story is because so often we're taught that when we run into something and we're getting stuck, it's because we need to change our thinking. But like I explained with this client, we had addressed her thinking. We had addressed her thinking with thinking. We had talked about the doubts and we had reasoned through different perspectives and how like logically this was valuable and worthwhile. And that did nothing. Did nothing for that place in her part that just wasn't sure it was worthy, or wasn't sure it was gonna be okay to charge for, or whatever the particular we didn't really dissect it. And we did, and being able to see that God saw it as having value and saw that there was value in it coming through her with her unique experiences and knowledge and training and all the things. Because when you're stuck in your mind, isn't changing the way you think, even though you're working on it, it's because there's a place in your heart that needs attention. And sometimes that looks like sitting and listening to the emotion and asking questions like, when is the first time I felt this way? What other circumstances cause me to feel this way? How old do I feel when I feel like this? And spending time to actually feel the emotions. I'll just name them, but actually feel them. And as you're feeling the emotions, and this is why I like the heart doodling, because you draw and paint and give yourself space to feel the emotions, and you're also giving yourself space to write down what you're noticing. So you may name your emotions, and you also will write down the thoughts that you're noticing as you're feeling these emotions. And capturing those thoughts is so important because if you're stuck somewhere and you're thinking you need to change your thinking, well, then you need to be really aware of what that thinking is. That being able to tie it to the emotions that created those thoughts is where you then get the power to be able to change the thoughts, because if you can address the needs that those emotions are trying to communicate to you and meet those needs, then it's much easier for your thoughts to change.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

So just like the doubts about her value didn't just start when she was trying to create this tool. Your doubts of your own value, your own worthiness, didn't start recently either.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Most likely they tie back to being a child and having an instance or more often multiple instances where it just seemed like you were never good enough and you could never get it right. Whether that was specifically spoken over you, or whether it was what you experienced when you would ask for something and your mother would roll her eyes or do a big sigh and hold and want something else. It doesn't have to be verbally communicated, it could have just been physically demonstrated that it seemed like you were a burden, or it seemed like all that was pointed out to you was when you did something wrong. The good things you did went unnoticed. So it seemed like they weren't good enough to recognize. Or you made something and you were really proud of it. And when you went to show it to your mom or dad, they were busy, and so they just went, Oh yeah, it's nice. Or like, don't bother me right now.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

And those things happen. And good parents do those things too.

How Emotions Shape Beliefs

SPEAKER_00 7:22

There can be a multitude of reasons. They are distracted, they're tired, life is hard, there can be physical issues, financial issues. So I want to explain how I understand the process of how our thoughts and emotions work together ones get hurt. Whether it's bringing the prize thing you made to your mom, and she's like, I don't have time to look at that right now. And she never remembers to come back and look at it. Or whether it was something that we would consider vigor. Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Something happens and your feelings get hurt.

Healing At The Root With God

Next Steps And Invitation

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Feelings are like one of your senses, they're involuntary. Like when something comes at your eyes, you blink and you move out of the way. It's just a natural reaction. Your emotions are the same, they're just natural reactions to your experiences. So there are no good or bad emotions. There's ones that we like that the more pleasant the feel. But the ones that are harder to sit with aren't bad. Where we get into trouble is the thoughts that we attach to those emotions. So the emotions come and we feel them. You feel your face flush, you feel your stomach tighten up. All those different sensations, those feelings naturally occur with your emotions in response to your experiences. Then you have thoughts about how you feel and about your experience. So that little girl that brings the beautiful bouquet she made, and her mom's like, I don't have time to look at that, could think, Oh, mom is busy, I'll come back later. But as little children, we rarely think that. Instead, we think, Mom doesn't like me. She doesn't think I did this good enough. I'm annoying her. And the enemy is right there whispering to you, giving you some of those thoughts to think, and agreeing with you, or trying to you to agree with him that you are the problem. And the only reason that mom didn't like it or didn't take the time to look at it was because it wasn't worthy, instead of whatever legitimate reason she may have had for not looking at it. And then the next time something like that happens, you feel the same. So you're very inclined to think the same, especially if there's no one helping you identify your thoughts and pull out those things that aren't true. And the enemy, of course, is right there reinforcing those things. So when you think something often enough, it becomes a belief system. And it just especially, like I said, as kids, you don't know how to analyze your thoughts. So the thoughts and emotions just go together and they kind of seem to be one in the same when you don't have someone teaching you to separate them. So then out of those belief systems, those thought patterns, they're there, and that's how you see the world because that's just what has been there. So when you come at this belief system, this process that's been in place and reinforced over and over and over and over again through your lives. Out of that example. So for the little girl that brought her bouquet or whatever she made for her mom, and her mom didn't have time to look at it, one of the lies she could have believed is nobody likes things that I make. And that could have even been a lie for my client. Here I am making something new and different that hasn't been made before, and nobody's gonna like it because nobody likes what I make. Nobody has time to look at what I make. Just telling herself, well, people do have time to look at what I make, and people like things that I make is a hard jump to convince herself because you're starting at the top instead of starting at the root. And going back to the situation where you first believed the lie that people don't like what you made, and being able to invite Jesus into that memory, invite God the Father, Holy Spirit, all of them into the memory and see what they thought of what you made, and their delight, because God created you and he delights in you. And that brings healing to that place to see, wow, like if God himself delighted in what I did, he can still delight in what I do. And if it delights him, it's way easier to believe that a person might also like what you have to say or what you've created. So now instead of battling this whole system of the thought patterns and the belief systems and the lies and those emotions that are triggered every time you think of creating something new, you've gone all the way back to the root, and it now feels different when you think about creating something to have it be received, to have it be enjoyed and delighted in. So that's what's different about my work than a lot of people that I hear and see in the online space. So many are talking about changing your thinking as kind of a matter of like willpower and habits. And I believe that that will eventually work. I also have seen time and time again how much more impactful it is and how the thoughts just kind of change automatically if we go back and address the heart and see what needs are there, if it's sometimes as simple as a new perspective. Sometimes there's forgiveness and repenting and other things that need to be done, but sometimes it's simply needing to see it from a different perspective and coming into agreement with what God said over your experience versus what the enemy was telling you over your experience. And you're ready for someone to walk with you through this process to take you back to the root of where the emotions that produced the thoughts started. You can schedule a complimentary one-on-one call with me and tell me about where you're feeling stuck, and we can talk about if the work I do is a good fit for you in this season. Thank you for listening. And remember, your healing heals generations.