Skating's Not Who We Are, It's What We Do

On this week's episode, Leanne gifted us a present that we're hanging up immediately!!! We don't deserve her!!! Colleen is dating a new man and Bridget has some thoughts on the finale of Traitors and Love Is Blind. Then we get into the topic of the week.... CRINGEY RE-WATCH. Join us as Bridget and Colleen re-watch your old favorites like Brink, Suite Life of Zach and Cody, Saved By The Bell and Boy Meets World. Can we all agree that Saved By The Bell has the hottest cast of all time? And that we're all in love with Shawn Hunter? Disney Channel Originals just hit different.

Review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram @Sippinwiththeshannons  send us your stories at Sippinwiththeshannons@gmail.com. Love you, mean it.

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She's here! She's back! How y'all doing? How y'all doing? Sun will come out tomorrow. Betcha. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. They'll be sun. Right. Is that the, are those words? You were close enough. Whatever. Tomorrow, today to yesterday, daylight savings has happened. It is sunny in this room right now when it is usually pitch black and we're using our flashlights to get into here. I am filled with joy. Jesus. Everything. I am warm. It was 60 degrees today. I ran errands outside. I got myself a rotisse chick. Oh, I didn't even have to wear a jacket. What's it in Miss Congeniality? Oh, April 25th, where it's not too hot and not too cold and all you need is a light jacket. That's how I felt today. I was actually sweating at one point. When I got in the car in a short sleeve t shirt, and it was so warm in there that I was like, oh, I'm sweating. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Let the sweat sweat. I'm so fucking happy for this. Let the swass swass. The way the depression leaves my body the moment the sun sets an hour later. No, yeah. Cannot be. She's dancing. That's how I feel. You know what I feel like? Uh, the blow up thing at the car wash. Yes. That's how I feel today. Pussy popping. Yes. Yeah. They're just like, uh, uh, uh, you know? Blowing in the breeze. Yeah. That's like y'all. Poussoir to the wind. Yeah, of course. But, you know, the poussoir's always to the wind. It doesn't matter the weather. That's, that is true. Uh, hi everyone. Hi. Welcome to this week's episode of Sippin with the Shannons. We're cousins, and every other week we sit down, we sip on some wine, we talk some shit, and we have a good giggle. I'm Bridget Shannon. And I'm Colleen Shannon. What's up? What up? What's new? I rear ended somebody today. You're just waiting to tell me that right now? Yeah, no, it's fine. You've been in my house for an hour. No, it's fine. Like we're supposed to giggle about this. I just like forgot I was driving for a second. I was at a stoplight and I just like took my foot off the brake. Just, dude, what the fuck? Just looking around all of a sudden. That's not funny. I was going one mile an hour. There's no damage or anything, but like, of course I just like forgot I was behind the wheel at a red light. All right. With all your car issues? Yeah. I just like got distracted. I was like looking around and then I was like, I took my foot off the brake, the brake. So just rolling. All of a sudden I was like, bam. Not actually, it was just like a, and I went. Oh my! Oh word! And then I pulled up next to the man. I was legit just dying laughing. I go, I Was he? Yeah, he just was smiling. I go, I'm sorry. I am so dumb. And I go, I don't, you know, I haven't had my coffee yet. Total lie, I probably already had like two. he was just laughing. I go, there's nothing there. And he goes, yeah, I didn't think there was. It's okay. And I go, have a great day. And I just drove away. Like, Like, how do you just forget that you have your foot on the brake? I actually don't know. I must have been, like, looking for my chapstick or something, like, I don't know. You must be un medicated. It's almost like there's medication that exists that helps people pay attention. I don't know. Is there a good driver pill? Because if I could take one to make mine a little bit better, you know, or like go back in time and, like, re teach myself how to drive, that would be great. Mm hmm. It would be Sleigh. But that's, like, really the only thing that was at the top of my brain today, the forefront. Mm hmm. How about you? Yeah. Okay. I'm very excited. We are pre recording this episode, so this comes out like a month from now, uh, because I am heading to St. Lucia for a month with my, some of my travel besties. Sajra will be there for a majority of the time. Our friend Alyssa is gonna come. Amber may stop by. I've been in multiple countries and continents with these lovely people at this point, so I'm really excited to just be warm and by the beach, and I'm gonna work while I'm there, and then I'm gonna take a bunch of time off and frolic. As you should. Have you been to St. Lucia yet? I've never been to St. Lucia. Okay, bucket list. I know, and Sadra and I did a FaceTime, and we just, like, booked a bunch of, you know, just dinner reservations, and we booked a boat day, and we're like, okay, that day we're gonna go, because you can do day passes to all inclusives. And St. Lucia's really popular for being a honeymoon spot. So Sajor was like, do we ride horses on the beach and hold hands? Yes, and you do couples massage, and you do all of the things. Yeah, so they do this package where you get all inclusive for a day with a massage, and it's 120 bucks. Oh, the fuck all, all the food, all the drinking, all the water. It's time to move. And a massage. It's time to move. Hundred 20 bucks. I was like, yeah, that's like an Uber into Boston. Two drinks, one singular meatball in the Uber home. is it? So I'll take it. Even that like, yeah, a full day at a resort, an spa, a woof. Yeah. So I'm very excited. I'm ready to be warm. I'm ready to be a little bit tan. I'm ready to put I have a pale foundation. Yes. For when I'm, you know, looking. Changing of the guards. I want to change the guards. The foundation guards. It's giving goals. Add more glow that I do that pale, pale, lowest number. Alabaster. Why do they have a shade called Alabaster? They should. Because it's insulting. Instead it's just like fair. It's like. You're being fair by saying fair, like, let's call it what it is. What do you have on your lips? Pasty ass bitches. What do you have on your lips right now? I need to know. it's like a Sephora bomb thing. Okay. It's like a chapstick lipstick combo kind of thing. It's giving shade. Yeah, it's light enough where it doesn't It, it doesn't look like I'm about to go out to a wedding, but it, it gives a little oomph so when you're on camera you look like you tried. Au naturale. Yeah. Yeah. Would you agree with that assessment? Yeah. That's what I was going for. I could tell there's something, but it's not like absurd. Yeah, it's like a bomb. Yeah. Because the lips, she'd be pale and she'd be chapped. Oh, crusty. Crusty. Those crusty dusty lips. Crusty. You know how I feel about Chapstick. Where's your Carmex? Oh, there it is, right on the floor. There's one on my left as well, just in case. Oh, you drop them on both sides? So no matter which way you lean? Yeah, I couldn't find mine this weekend. I lost two, because, of course. And I was looking through people's pockets for theirs, and taking it out and using it. People you know? Yeah, of course. But I was just like, who's got one? Like, I'm a fiend. Fiend? Fiend. Fiend. Fiend. With a D. That was weird. Something just happened to me. That's okay, but that's all right. Something's always happened to you. Ain't that the truth. How was your weekend? What'd you do? it was fine. I went out on, I didn't work at all this weekend. Good for you. Which never happens. Love when you take a break from work. Yep. Except I'm poor. I went on for, I went out with a man to Patty Berry's in Quincy. I brought him to the Irish bar. Mm hmm. a sweet little Irish man playing. He was so fucking cute and he was so good and he played No Name Ever and it was like a whole thing and I was like, I'm just getting ready for the high holiday. Yes. It was good. I had time. And then on Saturday I went to Moxie's and had martinis with the gals. With the gals. With the gals. What kind of martinis? I had, what the fuck did I have? I had a, I had a couple Cosmos. I had an espresso with tequila and then I switched tequila sodas. No drinking martinis. I didn't have the blue cheese stuffed olives and that's the only way I can really get it done these days. So, but. I would, I would recommend. Not to yuck your yum, but gross. No, it's okay, you can yuck my yum anytime. I will say though, the, I have a beef with Daylight Savings Time a little bit. Why? Because like, it just like really fucked me up. Like, I have, my sleep schedule's been off now, and like, I looked at the clock and I was like, there's no need for it to be 4am right now. Like, I don't, that's like disrespectful. Like, last time I checked it was like 1, and all of a sudden you're telling me it's 5. Four? Fower? I'm too old for that fucking bullshit. Fower? And then I was like, great, I have to be, like, I gotta be up in three hours? Like, this is not correct. I'm not a fan of this. Yeah, I went to brunch with my friends and I had a game plan for the morning and it went right out the window because I overslept and I was like, why do I still feel tired? I'm like, oh, you fucking lost an hour, obviously. Yeah. But someone was like, why is Daylight Savings at 2am on a weekend? That should be in the middle of corporate America. That should be on a Monday at 1pm so we get double lunch. It's the government's fault. It's always the government's fault. So that's my beef. Like, yeah, I'm happy the sun's up later. Like, great, cool, love that for us. But I want it back. I want that hour back. No, I don't. Keep it. Keep it. I wanted that hour back on Sunday. Shoot it into the sun. Sorry. I wanted that hour back on Sunday. Yeah, on Sunday for sure. Cause it's like, ugh, now I have to run to bed. Like, ugh. Run? At 4am? You should be It was like 1 and then I looked and I was like, ugh. Okay, well it didn't, it didn't skip three hours. But it like did in my head. Okay. I'm not going to question that reasoning because there is no logic included. Just, no. Okay? But that's all I did. But I have like a couple random thoughts, but like nothing I did. What did you do? So would you consider that Friday night with said man a date? Yes, I would. Oh wow! We're finally admitting. Yeah. And we like said man? I don't know yet. I have some assessing I need to do. Okay. The jury's still out? So, I realize I'm mentally ill, which like, Spoiler alert, I knew that actually. I don't think anyone listening to this podcast is surprised by that. Respectfully. I think we're all on the same page. So like, I am, am There's nothing wrong with that. A lot of people are mentally ill. No, that's, yeah. Just for the record. No, it's fine. We, I stand with you. I stand with my people. I stand with my people. Get us our shirt jackets. Get us our padded walls. And let us be. Let us be at peace. Catch me in the CVS, uh, drive thru. Catch me outside. Load me up. What you got back there? Hey, McLean's. Room for one more. Knock, knock. Yeah. I have arrived for my appointment. No, no, no. You see the, all I can think of is like, glass door. You just see me like this. Hey. Get in, loser. We're going to McLean's. Hopefully they have bug pets. Wait, we didn't cheers. That's so sacrilegious. Oh my god, you're so right. Is that the word I'm looking for? Sacralint? Yeah. Okay, cheers! Cheers. Ding! We got a white and a red. We look quite nice this evening. Ahem. I'm whipping out the sangria because I'm just in summer mode already. You're just a posh bitch. Yeah, I mix Pinot I can't recommend it enough. Whoever listens to this is gonna be like, is this bitch okay? But, I'm like, in my brain, like, I tell myself that there's something wrong with him because he enjoys my company. So, I'm like, no, like, not even too much, but, like, a lot. And I just can't, I'm like, okay, so there has to be something wrong with him. It's, like, not correct, it's absurd. It's an insult to him. Like, I can't, I'm like, no, there has to be something wrong with him. Like, he has to be weird. Well, that's crazy. No, I know that, but I just You don't think your company is enjoyable? No, I do, but, like Because I think I haven't had it at that caliber before in my life that my brain is like no he has to be weird Like there has to be I know that sounds absolutely insane, but what if that's a good thing? No, it like what if his weird is matching your weird? False hope in a way because it's just like no there's like simply no way like it's I know it's not. Are you being yourself? Yeah, of course. Okay, then what do you have to worry about? Like he knows the weird shit And he actually, at one point, was like, I love your honesty. And I was like, fuck. You like this? No, I meant like, am I being that honest? I didn't even think I was. I'm still fucking hiding. He doesn't know about the drunk sigs. He doesn't know. Oh, drunk sigs are not that bad, Colleen. No, no, no, I know. Oh my gosh. I'm like, still being a fake bitch. I'm like, oh, you love my honesty. I haven't been honest yet. But now I have. Yeah, wait till you hear how I feel about most people. Thinks I'm a nice person. What? He was like, I feel like you're fit. Did I tell you that? He was like, oh, I feel like you're fit, like fit or something like that. And I was like, oh. You have. Not, no, like fit in the way isn't like, I'm like, I would like be a, like I'm active. Regularly. Okay. Whatever you say. Believe whatever you want. Catch you on a hike later. I'm gonna take it and run with it. I'm like, you wanna go for a walk? To Duncan's? Maybe. To the liquor store? I go, sir, I might quite literally. Be the most unethical person you've ever fucking met in your entire life. No, that's so true. I could see my destination and call a fucking Uber. Like, that's crazy. And I said that, of course. And what did he say? I love your honesty? I actually think this was over Snapchat, and I'm pretty sure he didn't answer. I was like, that's a joke. But he, like, knows about my terrible driving, like, he knows. It's important to set proper expectations. Yeah, like, he was like, I simply just will never let you drive a vehicle. And I was like, Cool. Great. Great. He's like, it's just not correct. You haven't earned it. I was like, Oh, like don't Uber. And he's like, no, it's not like I'm not doing you a favor. I'm doing myself. Yeah. I want to stay alive. No, genuinely. I was like, I just, it's okay. I feel safer this way. Oh, actually. Get out of here. But no, like, I'll let you know if it transpires anywhere, but as of right now, like, it's fine. Great. Okay, cool. Talk about your weekend now. Okay, uh, I got dinner with Leanne, I had dinner with my home friends, and I had brunch with my college friends. So just really hit the friend groups, and then FaceTimed with Say, I am going to be on a Harry Potter podcast, it's called Alohomora, and they just had the girl who plays Luna Lovegood in real life, they just had her on. It's Like legit. Yeah It's the longest running Harry Potter podcast and I'm gonna be on for an episode. I don't know when yet So sippers, I'll keep you posted Hurray. So, that's coming. and I also have a surprise for you. Oh, I'm scared. No, you'll love it. So, I have something on my fridge. I don't know if you've ever seen it. It's from Leanne. Oh, yes, her hand, she did something, right? She drew something, no? So, my friend Leanne is super, super, super, super talented. And she just does artistic things on the side. Like, she used to run paint nights for people. She's just always very gifted, very artistic in a way that I never could be. She's a baddie. For our 100th episode, I asked her if she could create something for Someone with the Shannons. Oh! And it's taken her weeks and I made a list of all the things that remind me of the pod and I want you to open this. You've seen it, right? Yes. Okay, I was gonna say. Also, great handwriting. Yeah. Obviously. Of course. If, please do not rip it. It took her so long. Dude, I would never. I'm not that aggressive. Well. I can't even open things myself, so. Right. That's correct. Okay, so we'll be gentle. I'm gonna frame it. Oh my god. What the f I'm over simulated. Go piece by piece because every time you look at it, you'll see something different. No, I know that's why. I can like already sense it. Not the cookies! Dance jogs. Yeah, read off. It's sorry. Sorry. I know like you guys you don't hold on for the people. It's over stimulating It's literally everything. Okay in a mishmash perfectly blended. Did this take her one? Try to she basically she starts and she puts things in places and then she picks like things She wants to fill in so she does like the big ones first and then fills in from there, but it took her weeks Dude, she is so talented. I'll read some off to you and they all flow perfectly like wide back and low ass crack with a quite literal wide back and low ass crack. Nana's cookies, Dan's dog, mental illness and written backwards. I fucking love it. how is Rix? It's the exhaust from a car. Oh my god. Yeah. She's insane. Holy shit. Touch. Oh my god. The wagon. The wooden wheeled wagon? From the Oregon Trail. Pussy pop. Oh my god, stop it right now. Rue, obviously. RuPaul. Meh deh! Positive stories of the week. Oh my god. Who are we to judge with a gavel? Leigh Anne, I fucking love you. The Halloween, the Christmas, and I'm next to each other. I'm crying. Yeah, the Christmas tree and Skelly. Oh, Skelly, I love him so much. Hooray! What am I missing? Ah, Julie Winferrel. Oh my god, stop it. Erin is mother. All the condiments, obviously. So that's a little shot of tequila for Shannon. Aww. Next to the condiments. Okay, I figured it out. Okay. Aww. Love you, mean it, obviously. Wait, what's this one? I need to know. McDonald's french fries. Oh my god! Okay, yes. Oh, okay. Potatoes. Oh my god. Oh, those are chicken fingers. Oh my god, I'm so dumb. I feel, I feel so many feelings. Martha's cookbook, obviously. Mayday! At the very, very top it says, Call your boy, Cousins. Mamma Mia. I mean, Like, every single, No, seriously, everything. Part of that card is filled with memories of us over the last, Like, every corner I keep unveiling. And that's what I love about it, and we'll post a picture of it so you guys can zoom in on it and see how intricate it is. On like, this literal 4x6. Like, if you look close enough, there's a rotisserie chicken on there. That's, Like, I have no words. Leigh Anne, you have fucking undone yourself. Oh, undone yourself. Jesus Christ. You have outdone yourself. Erin is mother. I'm obsessed. Isn't it the nicest thing? You don't deserve her. I, I legit, We don't, but you don't specifically. I could cry. I could cry, this is so 100%. Us, cheersing, the shamrocks. It's just, It's everything. It is literally everything. The fucking Oregon trail. I have nothing, I have no words. I have no words. And also, isn't that like game print? Yeah, she, she drew that. That's her drawing. I said to her, it looks printed. She's like, no, I drew that. It took me an hour. Dude, she's crazy. I know, like, just potatoes, just a pile of potatoes. At first I'm like, is it, it's getting Line Movie, and I was like, oh, I know what that is. I mean, yeah, it's just Cousins with the Shamrock. Like, get out of here, Dance Dogs Forever. No, like, I wish I could make that our wallpaper. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out, I obviously want to frame it. and put it up somewhere or maybe put it on the table and have it in between us. But yeah, hanging in the loof. Facts. Hanging over Mona's face because this, this is where it's at. It's much more deserved for sure. Okay. I have a few things that I watched that I want to tell you about. Oh yes. Same. Okay. So spoiler alert. This will come out a month from now, so if you come for me for spoilers, get a grip on your life. No, you don't know, you know how I feel about that. Yeah, knock it off. The Traitors finale. Dolo. The final episode, Brittany wrote down Danielle's name, that's how it started. I yelped, I was so excited, Danielle had to go. The Oscar, the falling on the floor and crying, I just was so sick of it. that left us with Brittany as the last traitor there, and she got a little too defensive at the round table. I'm so excited the Faithfuls won, especially because it was Gabby and Dylan who I loved all season and was obsessed with. Dolores. Batty! No, did you see her fucking outfit for the Oh my god, she looked incredible, and I She was someone I obviously didn't know because I'm not a Bravo girly. Loved her by the end. Ivor is a complete unknown, and I think there is something to be said in these types of shows where you're trying to win, where you're kind of the gray man in the middle. Like, you're not the loudest, and you're not the quietest. You make some alliances and you get some people to trust you, but you kind of remain calm. He never ruffled any feathers. He was just there. One morning they were at breakfast and Gabby was like, I didn't think Ivor would make it to the morning. Like I thought they would kill him last night. And he was like, yeah, so I'm here. And she was, oh my God, she didn't see him. He was in the room and they're at breakfast. They're all at a table. Like there's no way to miss him. She fully thought he was dead. And that says a lot about him. That's how quiet he was. She got married, also. She did get married, and Right at the finale, they asked her, What do you plan on doing with the money? And she said, I would love to get married. And her and her girlfriend had just moved in. Like, they weren't So the fact that she actually got married, did you hear on Jimmy Fallon, she's like 799 in Vegas, can't recommend it enough. Yes. Limo pickup, deluxe package, big aunt took all the pictures, I forget what the guy's name was, but she was like, it was amazing. That's, yes. I was gonna say that's right up your alley. So excited about the Traders, such a good season, the reunion was great, Dorinda needs to chill the fuck out. Okay. Okay, but are you surprised? So, her, she gives shit to Bob the Drag Queen, which I don't recommend to anyone, because Bob will come for your ass. Correct. Bob is not just gonna sit there silently. Dorinda's just like a drunk bitch. Except, she was mad because after the fact, he was like, well, I didn't really know who she was. And she was like, and that was disrespectful. And he was like, I don't know who you are, in the same way that you don't watch RuPaul's Drag Race and you don't know who I am. I'm not trying to be shady. If I wanted to be shady, I would say something fucking shady. Yeah, it's just facts. It's just facts. And she wouldn't let it go. No, she wouldn't. That makes sense. And so, I wanted to ask you, at one point, She kept talking over Bob the Drag Queen. He was like, Do you see how I just let you go and now it's my turn? So I'm gonna do the talking now. And she just kept yelling over him. And Andy said, She doesn't like to be put on pause. What is, It very clearly was a reference to something that I didn't get. She was like, Truh. I'm just assuming she just doesn't shut the fuck up because she doesn't shut the fuck up ever. Oh, I didn't know if it was referenced to like a specific episode or an inside joke for the Bravo fans. No, not that I can think of unless I'm totally missing something. I just like know, and I don't watch The Traitor, so I don't know if they're like allowed to drink, but that bitch should not be allowed to drink. She does not stop. Actually, you know what? She should be allowed to drink because she is hilarious. She makes good television. She's like, yeah. If you've ever known her like iconic, one thing is that she had people at her house and creep on her Instagram. That will tell you enough. She's just like. It's giving, uh, we're on another planet. Okay. It's not correct. She has a house in the Berkshires that she, like, historically brings the housewives to and she just, like, gets really drunk, a lot of shit happens at her kitchen table. One time she gets drunk and gets mad about something little and she's like, I made it nice! And she's screaming, she just, like, gets shit faced and does absurd things. Cool. But that's all. She gets a little too loud, a couple, a couple octaves too high, gets a little crazy. That makes a lot of sense after the reunion. I love Bob the Drag Queen, I would die for Bob. I love Boston Rob, which I didn't watch Survivor, so I was not aware of the lore. I am aware now. That surprises me. I know, I know. I've never seen Survivor and I've never seen Big Brother. Interesting. Which I think are two shows I would really love. Leigh Anne loves them, so she was like, Bridget, what? Go watch them. I mean, like, You liked the challenge, didn't you? I did. Yeah, so it's giving. Same font. Yeah, and I guess there is a season of The Traitors where CT and Johnny Bananas is on it. Oh, I didn't know CT was. I didn't either. Ugh, I was on a TikTok I know, the way we would die. From him. Of, no, of CT and DM's like whole thing and he was like carrying her to the, The couch. After her cancer comes back. No, I can't. I like literally was crying. I'm not kidding. I We should do a fucking episode on them. I'm not kidding. I'm obsessed. Ugh. Anyways. Yeah. Sierra for president from Summer House. Love her. She can do no wrong. She's seriously so fucking pretty. It's insane. And Justice for Wells and I Iyan? Iyan? I don't know. She's Real Housewives of Dubai. Oh, I didn't watch Dubai. Not interested. Well, Wells and Iyan are best friends, and I am here for their friendship. I think it's so fucking cute. And she showed up in a dress at the reunion that my jaw was on the floor. I was like, pop off, queen. I mean, yeah, the bitches in Dubai, of course, are popping off. Of course. Love is blind reunion. So love is blind ended up with four couples going to the altar and only one of them getting married and Let me just say these men are fucking trash every season Every season and you have hope like early on you're like, wow There are people to root for and then they just fucking ruin it I think what men are underestimate is how often women talk to each other. We know exactly where the other one is. We know how you feel in the moment. We know how you felt after and we remember. So there's a moment where Sarah and Ben are arguing of you said this. No, you said this. And one of the women is like, well, I talked to her on the phone call to there. And that was not the vibe you were giving. So whether you believe that or not, I'm her friend. That was not clear. Madison, pulled receipts out of her dress, like under her armpit, as she should. Screenshots of their text conversations because she knew he was gonna lie and was like well Let me pull these out and then she went through them and she was like these were all I could fit under my armpit But I have plenty more receipts to prove it in men Just think that they can just lie boldface and and get away with it. It was crazy And so justice for Lauren Justice for Lauren Queen shit so well spoken so classy. So she's dating this guy Dave. Okay. Okay, they get engaged on the pods first of all He was a red flag right away because when he first got into the pods all Of the women he met, he started with, So what's wrong with you? And he just was like, No, that's my sense of humor. When they didn't get it. Or you're just a dick. What's wrong with you? Yes. Ugh, dick. Or you're just a dick, and you're not actually funny. Right, so he ends up hitting it off with two girls, but he ends up getting engaged to this girl Lauren, and she is the loveliest. Love Lauren and they get out and when they get out, she had like a hookup buddy before the show. It was very casual. It was not a thing. And so it stopped like a week before she went on Love is Blind. And when he gets out, he started hearing, because it turns out this hookup guy is like a friend of a friend. And all of his friends and his sister are like, Dave. She had. This, she was hooking up with someone leading up to the show and he won't let it go and the whole time she's like, Please listen to me. This guy is not being honest with you. I am your fiancé. It becomes this whole thing. The sister refuses to meet her. Oh, please. The friends won't meet her. Lauren ends up sobbing and being like, I don't feel like you have my back when you talk to your friends and family. Really not. That's like the one thing you're supposed to fucking do. Lauren writes the sister a letter explaining everything. He never gives it to her. Boo. And so it ends where he's like, I just, I can't get over this. I can't get over this. And this is my take on it. I don't know if this is true or if this is the vibe anyone else got. I got the vibe when he got out, he was not as interested into Lauren as she was into him. So he found something to latch on and he was like, I'll latch on this so I don't look like the bad guy. He didn't want the bad guy at it. So instead he blew this one thing out of proportion. It made it a whole big deal. And guess what? He still looked like a fucking bad guy. So instead of just being honest and being like, Listen, I feel like our chemistry has changed and I'm not ready to get married to you. He just blew this whole thing up and he kept saying his sister like enough. I'm sorry if you don't have a backbone to stand up to your own sibling, what the fuck are we doing here? Do you want to fuck your sister? You don't deserve like what's happening. You don't deserve a girlfriend or a wife at that point. No. So they're going around the couples, right? And it gets to Dave and Lauren and Nick Lachey goes, so Dave, what's wrong with you? Let's go. So I was very happy by that. She looked. Stunning. Dave can fuck right off. So, such a class act. She even stuck up for him at one point. She was like, I'm seeing a lot of negativity on your posts and stuff. I don't think you're manipulative. I don't think you're a bad guy. You just handled this really poorly, essentially. And she didn't have to do that. No. And he took it, but you can tell he was told, like, Eat this take it like a champ take it on the chin and shut the fuck up because he was very like listen Now that please I've gained some clarity in recent weeks And it turns out that this hookup guy just wanted his five minutes of fame and Lauren was telling the truth the whole time And she's like, yeah Yeah, thank you. So you had a year You had a year. Because this was filmed a year ago and the reunion was recently. Fuck you Dave. Anyway. Virginia looked stunning. Another class act. Just on to, don't even get me started on the skateboarding man who skateboarded down the aisle. I don't have the strength. But I saw on USA Today that for next season they're looking for quote unquote nice guys because of all of the drama. I'm excited for the Boston one. Yeah they're filming in Boston right now so we'll see that next year. Yeah. They're filming at Loco. I saw on the, on the talk. Yeah. A lot of people were tagging it on TikTok, so we shall see. Okay. Um, speaking of unwell men, I was in a rabbit hole on TikTok per usual. I stumbled across one that was like, I'm bored, like, tell me the most insane thing, comment the most insane thing a man has ever said to you. And I was fucking losing it. And I was like, Bridget would appreciate these so deeply. So I wrote some of them down for you, okay? Oh god, I'm gonna be angry, but I'm ready. did I really cheat if I didn't even finish? I'm gonna stab him. I'm gonna stab him. Well, you know she certainly fucking did it with that attitude. No, 100 percent not. Selfish lover. I love how tiny you are. It reminds me of a little girl. It's not funny, but like Pedophile. The, the, the The way. The thought process. The way. No, please continue. I cheated because you didn't answer the phone. He got her pregnant. Cool. Cool. Cool. Hanging out, hanging out with you feels like working a double. Then why are you here? Fuck off! You seem really easy to gaslight. A man said that out loud? Not only thought it, said it out loud. Took time to like To a person he was dating? Correct. You're the only person I've dated that wasn't skinny. Oh my god. Oh my god. No, I would shoot him and then I'd probably shoot myself. Oh my god. Oh my god. Help. Do you have a slow metabolism? It was the first date. Immediate arrest warrant. Some female judge would grant that. No, no. For sure. Guilty! I kissed my cousin, but she started it. Oh, you have your cousins, then you have your first cousins, then you have your second cousins. No, Karen, that's not how that works. Can I use your credit card to buy you a Valentine's Day gift? No, you can't. Fuck off. Why would it be like I want To be the front line for, I want them to have to go through me to talk to women. Do you know what I mean? Like, I want to gatekeep, I want to be the bouncer for these men. Dude. Like, fucking try me. The way that I would, if someone said that to me, I don't think I would catch it at first. I would be like, oh, you want to buy me a gift? And then I'd be like, oh wait. Wait a minute. Yeah, that's not buying you anything. That's you buying yourself that he picked out and he doesn't even like you, so it's not even gonna be good. You're so thoughtful. Ugh. I don't deserve ya. Fucking hell. But sorry, I just had to include that. That little tidbit for ya. That's crazy and my blood pressure is high. But that's okay. We're gonna move on. We have so many funny things to talk about. No, we do. Do you have any other thoughts for us? yeah. I finished, I couldn't remember if I said this last episode or not, but I finished season two of White Lotus. Did I say it already? Ooh. You're gonna tell me. That she falls off a fucking boat. That's what you're going to tell me. I was waiting for this moment. So fucking stupid. It's kind of funny. No, it is because it's her. Right. And like the way she goes is like so Tanya, right? She's like, you can do this. These gays, they're trying to murder me. You're gay. You're gay. I, the bullet I would take for her is not normal. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think. That the couple cheated. No. You don't think they cheated? I don't think Aubrey would do that. When they went off by themselves? No, I think she was on it. Oh wait, which one? Both. Oh, I think I want to know who you think cheated and who didn't. I think Ethan and, Theo James wife. I don't think I think she did. I don't think Aubrey Plaza and Theo James did. I think she was honest when she was, said the second version of what happened. So you don't think Theo and Aubrey Plaza did? I don't think they did. And you think the other couple did? I think Ethan definitely did with, but also like, why does she want to fuck him, respectfully? I think it was a revenge situation. She really needs a little ego stroke. She's, she's mentally ill for sure. But it also She's so fucking pretty. So stunning. It's just unfair. So stunningly beautiful, and they allude to the kids not being his and being the trainers. Oh, yeah, she like shows the picture of the trainer? yeah, yeah. And then he's, she's like what? There's just like a lot going on. But I feel like he knows that they're not his kids, because like He, remember the scene when he's in the bathroom and she's on the phone with him, and he's just like. Oh my god, I hate that. I hate that. Like, I feel like. He's like flossing his teeth and he gets pissed. Yeah, I feel like he knows. And he has to like take a minute. I feel like he knows. Yeah. What'd you think about the young lovers running around? And he's like, get the fuck out of here. Oh, yes. He's so fucking hot. So hot. It is so unfair. Even when he like called her a slag, I was like, ah. Like, my vagina was like, wah. Like, ah. You can call me a slag anytime you want. You got PQs from that? Yeah, I got, I don't know why. Like, just the way he said it. He was like, you fucking slag. I'm like, ah. I would love if a man said that to me. Only a British one though, obviously. It's a slut. Yeah, I know. But like, the way he said it, not an insult to me. Colleen. No, sorry. It was. But yeah. I didn't like him at the end when he threw her out of the car. That's so rude. I didn't like his flip switch situation, but I knew that something was off. Obviously. Yeah. Well, I mean when I saw him fucking his uncle, like obviously we're like, okay, the math's not mathing because duh. not his uncle turns out. Yeah. Obviously not his uncle for you. But the minute he took her off, I'm like, oh no, he's doing that for a reason. Like, there's a reason why he's being sent away with whatever. but yeah, I was expecting some big, like, but didn't expect one, then she fell off the fucking boat and that was that. And actually when, in real time, when that season came out and people were like legit obsessed and I just like wasn't on the wagon, I had a guy friend tell me that I was, I was her and I had not watched it. So like now watching it, I'm like, Also thanks, but like also like what the fuck I think they mean it in the same way that you appreciate her. Like why? Like I remember it vividly, like there was a text message that was like, why is calling Jennifer Coolidge? And I was just like, I'm thinking from Legally Blonde. Yeah. Like, because I hadn't watched White Lotus. Yeah. And now I have, and I'm like, oh, oh. Little old me I was making about myself again, obviously. But how to bring that up. I watched Nosferatu. Okay, you've been waiting to watch it. I didn't love it. Really? Like, I'm just like so, I didn't even finish it actually. That doesn't surprise me. Because I just was like, I'm so sick of this girl just like having seizures and like being filled with like a demonic presence. Oh, I didn't watch it. Like, no, I know, I'm explaining, like I'm looking at you, but I'm also explaining to the people that probably actually watched it. Yeah, Sippers. It's too much. Like, she just keeps having, like, spells. We get it. She's being possessed. Nosferatu's Nosferatu ing. We get it. get to a resolution here. I just, like, simply couldn't finish it. Did you think Nosferatu was done well by Bill Skarsgård? Yes, for sure. Yes, and I love her. Love Lily Rose Depp. I think she's a baddie. It's just like when you look at her like especially in that movie, respectfully, like she obviously has like a nine head situation going on And she's like ugly, but so stunning. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you said this last episode. She's like very unique looking. But in that movie, she's like so pale In retrospect ugly, but like still isn't like it's so interesting. I don't know how to explain it But anyways, you'll know you know what I mean, if you've if you've seen it oh, I started a catch up my the last a guitar book. Thanks to you. I borrowed it Fan so far. I've only read the first couple chapters, but like we'll circle back on it. Mm hmm, and I have the Blake Lively ick. I don't know why yeah The Cherokee thing was like, freaking me out. Did you see that? No, what happened? She was in a, she got herself into like a, I think it was a, I'm sorry if I'm saying it wrong, but it was either a cover girl, like one of those types of ad campaigns back in the day, like years ago. And she was in it because, she was like, well, I'm like part Cherokee and I'm guessing like, she like isn't. And so she's like, she's part Cherokee in it. I don't know, I saw a whole thing about her actually literally not being Cherokee at all. what the fuck? When, when was that? I saw it like last week. Oh, people don't forget, man. So that's that. And also the ad campaign, Wicked Cringe. Not sure who produced that one. But like, why can't, why would you even say that out loud? I don't know. Maybe she thought, oh, no one's checking my blood and my genetics. Who's fact checking me? I don't know. It's Blake Lively. Yeah. Well, did you see, and I don't know if this was for more publicity, but they were walking down the red carpet and it's just Anna Kendrick and someone yells. Anna, what's it like to work with Blake? And she goes, oh, you know. Oh, yeah. Very Anna Kendrick response. And it was very not thrilled. And then they were on stage and she's telling a story about, you know, they wanted to shoot in Capri and I thought that's too expensive and we should just shoot in Connecticut because that's where we shot the last movie and then we got there and I loved it and I never wanted to leave and I want to live there. And the entire time Anna Kendrick's just looking at the floor, just like waiting for it to be over. Now, I showed this to my friends and my bestie Amanda, who's very smart, was like, that also could be an act for more views. That's true. If more people are talking about it. So like, who even knows what's real and what isn't? But either they're acting to dislike each other for views or Anna Kendrick is not into it, and she also has a Blake Lively nick. I I don't see her do, like, I mean, I don't know her personally. You just don't think Anna Kendrick would act. Yeah, she's above that shit. Yeah. You think she's being genuine of, not liking Blake. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure it's not fun to go on a press tour where someone is, Actively in the spotlight for a negative reason because then you just constantly get asked about it and every time someone's like Anna Anna Anna, you're probably bracing yourself for oh, here we fucking go. Here's another question Yeah, crazy. That's all I got big boy. I just started running point. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's great I really enjoy it. It's a good gig. I'm not the I haven't watched the whole thing yet, but I've really enjoyed it I think I'm only well now that I've watched with you. I'm on whatever episode you're on Yeah, excellent cast. It's funny, it's light, it's toxic, but it's funny toxic. The family dynamic is good. Yeah, the cast is excellent. Brenda Song for president. I love her. Love her. Wendy Wu, homecoming warrior, back in the day. That was a good. If you don't, you know, should we actually, now that we're talking about it, what a good transition. We're so perfect. So we decided to do another rewatch, a big old cringe rewatch bitches. And so I picked a few things for Colleen and she picked a few things for me. Would you like me to go first or would you like to go first? Yeah, you can go first. Tell me about, well, I thought in honor of Miss Girl, Michelle Trachtenberg, R. I. P. You had to watch Ice Princess because it's just I had never even heard of it. It's a legit classic. So here we go. No, what do you want to be? You know what I'm talking about? I don't know. I do now. I wish I did it, but here we go. They've been re performing it lately in the wake of her death. I know. I saw it on TikTok. Okay, cool. Just checking. So I had never heard of Ice Princess. So if you also have never heard of Ice Princess, here is my synopsis. A nerdy physics whiz named Casey Carlisle, placed by the late and great Michelle, is on the fast track to Harvard. Casey loves physics almost as much as she loves fucking around and skating on her pond at home. That's when she discovers that applying physics to figure skating will make her a prodigy on ice and the next Michelle Kwan. For her school project, she decides to live her hypothesis. Out by testing physics on the ice. She becomes a part of the Railhouse Wives of Your Local Skating rink, starring Kim Cattrall, an intense ice skating coach who wants to help Casey succeed as long as she doesn't do better than her daughter, Hayden Pettitier. Her overbearing mother, Joan Cusack, who wants her to stick to her s That is, in a crush on the goofy Zamboni Driver, this teeny bopper movie will have you wondering how the hell does anyone have that much energy in high school while you hum Ali and AJ songs for the rest of your day. She is beauty. She is grace. She is the ice princess. That'll do. Here are my thoughts. Teddy, the Zamboni Driver, no words. Goofy as fuck. Don't talk about him like that. When you re watch. You don't think to yourself. Oh my god. I'm getting glared at. No, I don't think you think he's perfect. No, he's just like sweet angel He is a sweet wholesome angel. So I did take an edible before this movie because I felt one I felt anxious into I thought it would be funnier if I The head done. No, for sure. That. Quantum physics. It's the quantum, it's the aerodynamics, okay? Correct. Very first thought, Hayden Panettiere has always been that bitch. Period. Yes. Period. No notes. Why does there always have to be an ugly duckling? Like, why does it have to be, and she doesn't do this in the movie, but there's always gotta be this like, glasses off the face, shake your hair down from your ponytail, and it's just like. Or she could just be a cute girl. Yeah, she is cute. She is wicked cute, that's what I mean, they're trying to make her look like she's this awkward, everyone's clumsy. I hate when a woman is clumsy. And I know that I'm clumsy, but like, I don't, it's not part of my character. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not your whole personality. Yeah, I hate when people are like, oh my god. She's quirky and clumsy. Hate. My least favorite trope. Agreed. You can't have physics and ice skating. You gotta pick one. You cannot be Einstein and Michelle Kwan. Yeah. You gotta pick one. Doesn't she make a cameo? Yes, so I have that in there too. Oh, okay, sorry. And I wrote that before. I saw her. Oh, okay. Which was wild. I wrote, not the aerodynamic formula. And she's like so cringe being like, and then, you take x, y, z, I'll put it over, and she's like shut the f up, Casey. And then, if I, if I hit my toe hard enough in here and spin my arms really fast, I'll spin. Basket. I can't. Just go back to the Shake Shack that you were working at. The Shack. Oh my god. The Snack Shack. The Snack Shack. Oh, and she's like, squish it till it's dry. Talking about the burger, I really thought that was like, oh my god, Health Queen. Like, I would be like, no, I want a dry ass Krusty Burger. Like, no juices. Side of cheese. She's also at one point watching Sasha Cohen on TV, which is so real. If you were in the 90s, we were all just like watching the Gold medalist like the figure skating in the 90s is unparalleled. No. Yeah, I agree I would I would compare it to how we watch women's gymnastics now Yeah, Simone, but even back then we were watching both like they were both hype Gross she goes to the ice skating rink and starts to record. This is me going to New Jersey For spring break. With my coaches. No! Stop it. In taking notes while a team was performing so that I knew what they would perform at nationals that year. That's like, so uwiki. Yes, that's correct. I know that. Yeah. And I'm aware. And I just wanted to point that out. And also like Kim Cattrall acting like it's like legit, like war, like My next thought. I think parents who take their child's sport too seriously should be arrested and detained. I couldn't agree more. It's such an ick. Get a, get a fucking grip. Get a hobby. Figure it out. We are all allowed to be supportive and invested and have our full pussies into it. If you are like screaming at the top of your lungs in an ice rink, you are sad and pathetic. I'm sorry. Get a grip. All I, I can't, I like can't look at her mom now, Casey's mom, Joan, Joan Cusack. I can't look at her after watching Shameless as her as Sheila that was literally like a hermaphrodite with a drawer of dildos. I cannot look at you. I can't look at you any longer. I love when he goes, Hey, no street shoes on the ice. Get the fuck out of here. He takes his job seriously. Leave Teddy alone. The jumping shrimp. Oh, I get to her. Oh, I get to her. I love her. Kimmy Cattrall is such a cunt and I adore her, is what I wrote verbatim. No notes. She's, guys, she's this like, oh, you want to be, you want to be an athlete on this size? Like, she's very, I don't know how to, she's giving cunt. She's serving cunt. Oh, yes. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And people are eating it up. Yeah, no hate to her. Let Hayden Panettiere eat something. What? Hello, eating disorder. Every single thing she picks up. Yeah. She is working her butt off. She is skating away. She's slaving the day away. Practicing her fucking aerodynamic lutz. She can have the cheese fries, mom. I was getting so frustrated. Okay, Michelle, our sweet Casey Carlyle, the zamboni goes around, and she gets on fresh ice and skates over it. Dan was rolling in his urn. How dare you? How dare you disrespect Teddy's job at the ice rink as the Zamboni driver? And he's like, hey, I would swing He should have run her over. He should have run her over and they have the starters like where this thing around their butt so if they fall it doesn't hurt as bad and it's like filled with styrofoam and After she skates on the fresh ice she falls and it pops and the styrofoam goes everywhere and all over his fresh eye His fresh eyes his fresh ice The way I would have to move to a new town if I had a crush on a boy and fell so hard that Styrofoam popped all over I would be like it was so lovely knowing you I am now going to the high school 14 towns over not even the one next door Okay, at that age, now I would giggle, but the outfit Joan Cusack puts her in. So she comes home and she's trying to sneak the fact that she's going to ice skating, but she has all of these Harvard things. Academia. Yeah, she's a scholar. And so her mother puts her in an outfit that, again, immediate arrest. Jail time. Jail time. She doesn't understand. She's, she's a parent that shouldn't, she should have had one child. Yeah, the fact that she had one makes sense. Yes, yeah. For sure. Okay, they're at a party and Casey Carlyle starts to get bullied a little bit. The girl bullying her is from Superbad. It's Becca, the one who wants like the gold schlick or whatever, the gold schlick vodka. That's Becca. I knew that girl a mile away. I was like, that's Becca from Superbad. And then, of course, Teddy the Zamboni driver comes over. She like tries to have a conversation with another Hawkeye and it just doesn't go well and he's like, you're babbling about physics. Ew. And she's like, yeah, I do that when I'm nervous. And there's like a whole part. And then Zamboni Driver comes over and is like, I think it's cute and endearing. And there is a kid. Yeeting himself through the house. Yes, yes, yes. He's going towards a window and she looks at him and says, In the estimated trajectory would bring him, and he goes out the window and she goes, Through the window. Bitch, you don't have to be a physics. No. We can just, like, foresee that happening with our very own eyes. A grown man is zip lining through the living room. Through the living room. Heading directly towards the glass window. And she's like, oh no. And she's like, the estimated trajectory, bitch. Use your eyes. Please. Please. Use your eyes. I laughed out loud. Also, plot twist, the Zamboni driver is Hayden Penetieri's brother and Kim Cattrall's son. Yeah. They're a family unit. They don't tell you that right out of the gates. Oh, they don't? Teddy is just like this little, you know, grubby teenager working at the rink. No, they're a family unit. They're a squad. also at the party, she's wearing a tank under a long sleeve shirt, like a shirt under a shirt with jeans and like your classic trainer shoe. She's wearing trainers. You know what I mean? The vibe is just very 2000s. Joan Cusack's just being a whole ass dick. At one point She's like, but mom you gave me everything and her mom's like you need to give something to me now Girl. Why are we guilting our children? Girl. She didn't ask to be born. Shut up. Shut the fuck up, Joan. She wants to skate. Let the bitch skate. Ew, what's wrong with skating? Why are you being such a hater? Why are you being such a fucking hater? Oh, well, you know why. Now I know, but I died at one part because they're getting ready to drive to a competition and they're all getting into a van and they're like, Okay, we'll play Outcast in the car, and everyone's like, Yeah! I was dying. And she like puts in her headphones. I'll put in my headphones. Yeah. okay, so, some bitch goes up to our girl at a competition, and she has spiky hair, and Oh my god, I forgot about her. She's obviously from Worcester, Massachusetts. No, because I liked her, actually. She, can I tell you, the two meanest people I ever went to college with. Of my entirety, four years, both of them were from Worcester. Like, no one should live, reside, in Worcester, ever. It just makes sense, you know? Worcester is disgusting. No, because I know some good people from Worcester, but literally the two worst people I met in four years were both Western Mass girlies. So this girl with the spiky hair, she's trying to do a classic psycho. On Casey Carlyle, and we just will not have that today. She needs to be in the zone. Let her be in the bubble. In Hate Him and Tear, can I just say, I thought she was gonna be a mean girl the entire movie. She ends up being so cool. Yeah, she's normal. She's like a cool, popular kid. She's a baddie. But she's like, nice. You know? And then she put some eyeliner and mascara on Casey Carlyle, which she's never heard of and never used. Because She's plain faced forever. Like, your mother should be shot for that. And girl, it takes her from a 5 to a 9 real quick. Yeah. As it does with everyone. A little mascara, a little eyeliner, a little genesequeef, a little genesequeef, and here we are. One girl falls, the gasp from the audience as if it was life or death. As if someone was perishing. I would be so upset if people were like gasping and be like, don't look at me, don't make a comment. Yeah, keep, you know, resume the position. Nothing to see here. My next thought, the little ginger child is very angry. The jumping shrimp. She's fucking crazy and so is her mother. There's always going to be one, you know? Yeah, for sure. She was giving like Violet Beauregard vibes. Yes, very much so. Yep. And I googled it and apparently Michelle Trachtenberg did months and months of training for the movie and a bunch of the shots are actually of her Whoever they got to be her body double for like the double Lutz, whatever the pirouettes whatever shit the fuck she's doing on the ice Genuinely looks just like her. Oh even this, you know, sometimes you rewatch a movie and you're like, oh my god Yeah, like what it wasn't like that or at least I didn't think so Kim Cattrall Sabotages Casey Carlyle. I did not see this coming with the skates. She is Bucks up her program because Casey has old ass shit. Ice skates on and they're falling apart and she's like I know just what to do and she gives her new ones and then she Falls and then she gets off the ice and the spiky haired bitch from Worcester is like, hey, are those new skates? Are you crazy? You can't go out there with skates that aren't broken in and it takes weeks for that to happen gasp. Her blisters. The, the, uh, I actually really did not appreciate that. Oh, please. I did it. Grow up. I did not appreciate that. The zoom into the blister was not necessary. But she comes out and Casey Carlyle is so upset. She blames the whole ass fam from Hayden to Zamboni Boy to Kim Cattrall. Everyone is to blame. I can't imagine like yelling at an adult. No, never. When you were that age. I was like, I would never do that. No, would never raise my voice to an adult. However, Can we just imagine for a second that as a mother, your son works at the rink, you drive your daughter, you spend thousands of dollars for years and years and years and years to make sure your daughter is the best, and then little Miss Twinkle Toes from physics class comes in and nearly beats her? That's true. I would be so livid. Not that I would sabotage her, but like, just bop up here and try to beat my daughter. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who are you? Anyway, at one point, one of my all time favorite tropes is, No mom, I'm not giving up my dream. I'm giving up yours. Pop off girl. So dramatic. I'm into the storm away. The Zamboni man drives to her pond at her house. No. Marry him immediately. No! This is when he went from, like, goofy teenage boy to, like, oh, that's a man and you must marry him. That's when the tide changed for me. We ride a Don for Teddy. We ride a Don for Teddy. Then they go to their last competition, their big final, and whole ass Michelle fucking Kwan is the judge. Be still my heart, Michelle Kwan. She is the people's princess. Okay. Uh, also she mentions like, oh yeah, I've hardly spoken to my mother in two months. Okay. What do over ice skating two months? It's like. The drama! This too shall pass. Please. You know what you skipped over? When she's training and she goes and does a little concert with the little kids, and she's wearing that wicked cute outfit and she's like, blow, blow, blow a fuse! Oh, I thought it was so cute! That's like, core in my brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She performs, she has to get over a certain score or something. Yeah, and she's like with the little nuggets. And she's with little nugs. And she crushes it. She does so great. She's so cute. Blow a few. So the Worcester girl comes back for the final performance. She's trying to be mean to our girl. And Casey Carlyle goes into what they call the bubble. And it's when you just put headphones in and zone out the world. And you don't hear how other people perform. Because if they do really well, it could psych you out. Or if they do really bad, it could make you cocky. And we want none of that. So Hayden's like, go into the bubble. I would like to go into the bubble and never come out. Okay. Also the Worcester girl, her last song that she skates to, Toxic by Britney Spears. Iconic. Iconic! I liked her. And she's wicked good. And she don't give a fuck. Casey gets a new outfit at the end. So there's like this big reveal ice princess and she's wearing a little tiara And she looks very gorge and she's got her mascara on and she is like a graceful little bean out there Okay, so, she's skating, right? It's not going well. She falls, the crowd gasps, she looks up, she sees her mother, Joan Cusack is there, smiling at her daughter, and that is when our girl gets the fuck up off the ice and steps her pussy up, and then she crushes, and she ad libs into her routine and Michelle Kwan was like I didn't even see that coming and she nails it and so The angry ginger child is also there the jumping shrimp and she is a nightmare I would like less of her in every movie ever her stuffed animal She keeps with her her screaming at everyone and then turning around and seeing a camera and going into like Sweet child mode. Violet Beauregard. I was like, girl, I'm, whatever's happening here. So then Michelle tells her mom, I've decided to go all in on skating. I'm still gonna go to school, but I've decided to do both, basically. Because I love the sport and I love it so much and it makes me feel graceful and pretty and I like it. And her mom's like, Fine, and then Joan Cusack and Kim Cattrall immediately start fighting about how Casey's time will be spent and how much skating versus school She's gonna go to it and she's like you guys enough and that is how the movie ends Which gave me the ick. I was like, she's a child. Let's keep in mind. She's a child. Yeah, no, but I will say It was not a hard watch. Like, sometimes you've given me things that I've watched slack jawed, behind, like, my hands covering my eye. Okay, but not for nothing, it's usually, like, that's my version of a good recommendation, and you cringe, and, like, this is me giving you a cringe one, and it's not that bad. So, it's like, watching Joe Jonas dance in that studio at Camp Rock, and watching them all try to follow along with him, made me want to Gouge my eyeballs out. This was like, okay, it's corny, but it's cute and I get it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, and that is the ice princess. Damn. So good chills chills. You made me watch the world's worst fucking movie I've ever watched in my whole life. Yeah, okay. Let's talk about it. Mm hmm. So, I have never seen this movie in my life. I don't know what year it came out. I think it was like right before me. You made me watch Brink. Mm hmm. And I don't have a synopsis for you because I'm just assuming that everyone that's listening like if you know, you know And honestly, like don't even let me waste my breath on a synopsis for you of this this actual monstrosity of a movie Okay, cool. Like I love a good cringe and this is like not a good cringe. I literally was like Pain the grip this had on us. Really? Yes, that's what aspect of it Can I just ask you before I get into it? We thought it was so cool No, we thought the sport was cool. We thought he was hot. Like, the whole thing. Like, I did not know one skateboarder growing up. Mm hmm. Like, that wasn't a thing. I know, that's why we thought it was cool. We were like, whoa. I also think I correlate, when I see rollerblades, I'm immediately brought back to like, my, I'm my only babysitter I ever had that would throw the goldfish in the street and I'd put on my rollerblades and have to pick them up and that's what we did all day. And that's why I got chubby. Oh, that's why. Not the Diet Pepsi before every single It was Coke, bitch. Put some respect on the name. Diet Coke. Diet Coke before high school every morning? Middle school too. Even before then. what I remember from it is that he joins a skateboarding team and then he gets, Enticed to leave and go to, like, the rich bad boys. Yeah, because he has to. Or he feels like he has to. And then he comes back and he fucks their shit up. And it's great. Why is it that every cringe Disney movie, the plot is something with such a clear fucking resolution. But yet we're making this big, over dramatized situation. It's like, clear as daybreak. Like, why are we even doing any of this? Like, we could avoid all of this. That's correct. And What's sending me into a different dimension. But here are my manic thoughts, okay? I'm ready. They don't flow like yours, I'm not like you. It took me a minute to realize where Brink was from. With his long locks. And I was like, oh my god, it's the guy from the Princess Diaries. And I was like, but he's actually hot in the movie. Like, this is just, you're a greaseball, wash your fucking hair. Uh, no bigger ick than him, the squad gathering, and him being like, did you wake up today wanting to talk or wanting to skate? And I was like, this is three minutes in. It's so bad. No, I wanted to wake up and shoot you. That's how I feel. It's so bad. Oh my god, I'm dying. Why are we wearing helmets that aren't clipped? What's the point? It's a vibe, Colleen. So like, you're just It's just a vibe. It's not though. You can't explain it to the people who don't get it. Oh, because you just fell on your head and all of a sudden it's just like still on your head? Because that makes sense. Who produced this film? That's what I want to know. I'm writing a letter to Disney. My first two thoughts on Gabriela. I was like, oh my god, she's a pick me. Not the case, obviously. Right. I'm like, okay, this picked me. I remember you in Freaky Friday, bitch. I was like, I know that voice. Where do I know her from? Couldn't figure it out. Freaky Friday. let's show them what soul skating's all about. No. Deeply unwell. Like, at that point, I legitimately wanted to turn it off. I was like, no, please don't. I actually, I had to, this took me three days to watch. Yeah. I didn't sit and watch it. Yeah, okay. I paused. You had to take breaks. There's only so much in a day you can take from Cringe. Everyone in this program needs braces. Yes, that's correct. But they're at the age where they're, they're past having, like they should have had braces already. I'm getting Invisalign, don't say that. Well, yeah, you can get braces later on in life, but I'm just saying, like, every single one of them, like, they're not actually 12, like, they're probably, like, at least, like, 16. Yeah, they look very high school age. Do you mean? And also if his line isn't braces, but I know what you mean. Like, why didn't we deal with this in middle school like everybody else? Yeah, and I know, like, every Disney movie, like, the family dynamic, like, they come down and you're, like, you're making breakfast and it's, like, they're all after school. There's always pancakes and bacon and, like, someone cooking first thing in the morning. Yeah. I did not wake up like that. No, my mom dressed me while I was laying in bed. Until an old age. With tights. Are you Marilyn Monroe who is on barbiturates and that's the only way they could get her makeup done? I wasn't getting up. I am not a morning person. I know, yeah. so I wasn't, I wasn't eating breakfast at the table, I can tell you that for sure. Yeah. There was no orange juice. Freshly squeezed. There was no pancakes. There was no eggs. That was not a situation that I, had in my humble abode. But anyways, cause I didn't get up for it. I was like, goodbye. Good riddance. Toodle oo. And he comes. This man, this young lad, comes down the kitchen, and he's like, What's up, fam? I would have smacked my child, and been like, Speak English. Hey, Ohana. Yeah. Hey, gang. The way the dad hates him. Like, hates him. Sup, familia. No, what up, fam? We thought this was the coolest movie that ever existed. Like, if I push you out of my vagina, and that's how you speak to me in the morning? No, no. Fair. That's not happening. That's totally fair. What happened to like, hello, how are you? You know? You could even be like, what up? But like, fam. Like just, no. What up, fam. At an octave that is just simply too high for the morning. Right. Really? Unacceptable. Yep. I did like them a little bit better once I realized that they were, uh, when they were making lunch, like slang, it was, it was bologna and mayo on white. And I was like, okay, I like them now. Yeah. That's more up your alley. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Fair. We see each other now. We're okay. We see each other. The sister, Katie, she's a baddie. Yeah. Even though she has like a little pixie cut situation going on, I was like, where do I know her? Did you watch Smart House? Yes, of course. Okay, so she was, she's the girl in Smart House. Yes. All Disney movies rinsed and repeated. Not all of them. I know, but not all of the people. Not often. I know, but there's a lot of crossover. But I was like, oh my god, she's such, she always has like those good one liners. Like, there's always gonna be one. Yeah, she's always very sassy. Yeah. I don't know what this note is But I think I meant that I hated how often they used the word butt. Being like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna beat your butt. Oh, I don't remember that. Like, I'll kick your butt. Like, ew. Oh, I don't remember that. I hated it. Hated it. Okay, that's fair. That's totally fair. I'll give you that one. Sorry I don't have one positive thing to say so far other than the bologna sandwiches. No, I'm totally fine with that. When they race. During the school day. Uh huh. At their whole ass middle school. Yeah. And just all of a sudden they're like, Are we gonna do this? And then they're just on the property in the day with the rest of the school in the middle of the day and a ref comes out of nowhere. Mm hmm. Sorry? And they're like, You know you can't skate in school. And it's like, oh, okay, now we just have a whole ass, like, lane going on? Where do we just pull this out? With a roof! This walked so fast that the Furious could run. It's giving, motocross. Yes. Oh my god, I loved motocross. Where she pretends to be her brother? Another classic. Like Herbie, kind of. I watched Herbie Fully Loaded recently, actually. Just for fun. We ride for Herbie. They have groupies? You're 12. Mm hmm. That's gross. Skater groupies. Like, I'm sick. I'm, I'm sick. Uh, they need haircuts. All of them. Yeah, it was a different time. I don't remember kids having that haircut left. Yeah. It was a different time. I know, but did they when you were younger? Think of like Backstreet and NSYNC at this time. Okay, that's true. No, you're right. Think of what Jonathan Taylor Thomas, right? Think of what was in at that time. Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Literally, who the fuck is that? You don't know who Sweet Baby JTT is? No. We are from different planets. No. So we're gonna educate you, okay? Into the teenage heartthrob that was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Okay. So when he was younger, he looked like this. He looks familiar. That's when he was a bebe. Oh, you definitely have seen him in a bunch of shit. And then when he became a teenager, No idea who that is. We were like, Ew. This is, this is peak. When we were in the thousands, he was it. Not only is he Simba and the Lion King. He was in Home Improvement, in Tom and Huck. Did you ever watch Tom and Huck? Home Improvement was a very big sitcom at the time and he was on it as one of Tim Allen's kids. Oh, yes. Okay. Yep. I'm telling you. He was it. he was in a Christmas movie. Anyway, I could go on for days about good old JTT. Sir, I'm gonna buy these shoes. Oh. For my mama. Yeah, no idea who that is, but it sounds like he was a great guy, great local guy. Why are we lying to our friends? sir, times are tough for you, like, just be honest with your gang, like, your soul skating gang, and just say, Bitch, I'm broke and I gotta join this new squad because they pay big, and I'm a good skater, and yeah, I'm a soul skater, but like, I'm broke. Like, why can't we just say that? Why are we He felt shame and embarrassment, Colleen. Like, all of us. But like You're soul skating pals. It's not about, it's just we're about like skating. It's not about the money. I love how you're saying we're. Like you're a part of that. No, I'm not. We be about the skating. I'd be on team Val, just for FYI, for sure. I'm kidding, I wouldn't have been. But, there's just a clear resolution. Val is too ugly to be acting the way that he does. In my opinion. Yeah. It's just Yeah, that's fair. He has such a punchable face. Yes. And like, I know you get a blowout. Like, I know. For sure. There's no way your hair just naturally falls like that. And does one of them have frosted tips? No, but he kind of has a haircut that looks like he would have frosted tips, and he does have hoop earrings. Perfect. Yeah. That, I love that combo. It's just little, little hoops, when I pull them out, you know? My biggest issue with this movie is, why is the dad such a fucking hater? Like, worse than Joan Cusack. I don't remember the dad, to be totally honest with you. No, it's like a pinnacle of like, I'm like, what? He comes down the stairs, before he even speaks, he's like, looking at him like this. He's just pissed. For what? What are we mad about? He's such a fucking hater. Also, like, great. tough in the Wrinkly household. He was laid off. Uh, okay. And that's like Who among us? File unemployment. Figure it the fuck out. Like, everybody the fuck else. Well, that's probably why he's pissed. Okay. He's stressed? I don't know. He's fine. He has a mortgage to pay. Okay, well he's out here making fucking sandwiches and a whole ass gourmet meal in the morning. Maybe stop doing that and give him a granola bar and then maybe you'll save a couple bucks. And file for unemployment. And stop making your kid children and your family miserable? I don't know. No, he made me so angry. Figure it out! Clearly. And the whole time everyone, the mom's just like, she's useless. The bitch is useless. they do have a heart to heart and it's like very nice. It's like wholesome or whatever. And he tells him, he compares it to skating to himself. And he's like, you know, it took me a long time to realize like, a construction foreman is what I do, but it's not what I am. And skating's what you do, but it's not who you are. You're a good friend. It's like, Unimpressed. And all of a sudden he's like, Wow. It's like, okay, The scene where Gabriella falls. Why are we acting like she was in, like, a gang shooting? Yeah. And that she's dead. The gasp we gusped. The, the roll. The horror. The tenra, and they literally, she doesn't move like she's dead. She has a scrape on her arm. You mean the road rash? Like, from her injuries. And she's like, ugh. Limp. Fully limp. You did that to your father. When you were younger. Okay, and? And you laid in the street. Okay, and? You know why I'm mad about it? It's because she took, she didn't take advantage of the opportunities she had. She didn't lean all the way in? No. So, so you're saying she didn't go big enough? Your issue isn't the other way around? They were acting like she was shot, but I, I was dying when like, obviously they don't show her like being like taken away or whatever, but. Brink shows up at her house and the other two guys are already in the house So they're like passing by each other and he's and Brink's like, how is she? And they're like, not dead. Who thought she was dead? Is that where the bar is? Also, the mom comes to the door when she goes to visit. He goes to visit her, because she's apparently on her deathbed on hospice, apparently. I have no idea. So she's like, you should really, you should come in and see her. The way my mother would not let three young grubby teenagers come see me and then leave me in my room just to like, say hello. And she's in a dark room with just like, the light from the moon on her face, and she's laying there like She's concussed. She has a scratch on her arm. She's fine. Colleen, she had a trauma happen to her, okay? And he's like, Gabriella, and she's like, What are you doing here? What? My mom would never allow that. Just saying. The beginning of every true love story. One thing I noticed that annoyed me, why are Brink's parents always drinking coffee at night? Why are we drinking hot coffee at night? Also like What if it's hot chocolate? It's not. It's coffee for sure? Yes. Multiple throughout the movie. They're like, looking through their bills, drinking hot coffee. How about don't drink the hot coffee and save a couple bucks? Oh my god, you're so focused on this family's finances. Yeah, because the dad's a dick because of it. Like, you're unemployed for six months and suddenly Your, your literal, like, 12 year old is the enemy? I'm sorry. And his skating problem? It's ridiculous. He's trying to tell you he wants a job, and you're like, Skating's not a job. It's 200 bucks a week. And like, 2002? That was bread. Yeah, that was making money. Let him rake it in. Shut the fuck up. When they go to the invitation, I did not expect this movie to trigger such Anger from you. I hated it. And then they get to the Invitational and then all of a sudden you hear the announcer be like, we have the nation's top 10 teams. Sorry? They're twelve! They are! This is not the nation's top ten teams! That's what they did for cheering. That's what we did every year. That's so dramatic. It's so dramatic. We were seven. It's literally not. Their balls haven't dropped yet. This is not the nation's top ten teams. the way I would have literally shot Val. The bad guy? Yeah. He's like fucking punching, what's his name, and there's just camera crews rolling. Disqualification? Can we get it? Where are the refs now? I'm saying! They were on site at the high school, where are they fucking now? Them going down the hill and they squat with their arms like this? Yeah. Core memory. I won't lie to you, core memory. No, big ick. Big ick. Wash your hair and stand up straight. You sound like, like, get off my lawn is the vibe you're giving right now. The Soul Skaters? Wash your hair and stand up straight. The Soul Skaters with Never fucking done that. I'm dying. Never. Never have I ever done that. obviously we get a happy ending because like, duh, they're all like hugging each other and being fucking loser y. Because they do. And the sister at one point is like, skate better. And he's like, skate better. Skate better. I was like Imagine if that's all someone had to say to you. And he's like, he's like, yeah. I was, and his hair's like, ugh, I'm getting angry. I'm like, yeah, clearly, he's so angry. Oh my god, I'm dying. But the, the one core takeaway is skating's not who we are, it's, it's what we do, and that's all. And that's Brink, baby. And that was Brink. I'm sorry. I know, it's okay. I've, I feel like I've grown. It's a person. It's a person. From this fucking phenomenal film. This nightmare. Get that shit off Disney Plus. It's honestly disrespectful. You're putting that on the same platform as the Aristocats. Oh my god. Who the fuck do you think you are? I know. It's crazy. Okay, up next, I have a TV show. Okay, what'd you watch? I watched The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Okay, what episode? It's very important. The Ghost of Suite 613. Jeez. There's 613, whatever it is. 613. Okay, 613. Okay. Synopsis. Twin shitheads, Zack and Cody, hear a spooky legend about Suite 613 being haunted by a ghostly woman named Irene. They decide they're part of Scooby Doo now, and they turn it into a full blown paranormal investigation. This group of misfits decides to have a sleepover in an abandoned suite to see if it's real. Because that's normal. Things escalate quickly when airy lights flicker, objects move on their own, and Esteban gets FULLY POSSESSED. Not just Esteban. In an Oscar worthy performance. Meanwhile, Maddie is a hardcore disbeliever, and London spends the majority of the episode screaming at top volume or rocking some insane outfit, or both. By the end, everyone is sufficiently traumatized, but whether the ghost is real or not, well, let's just say Zack is never sleeping alone again. Okay. So here we go. Brenda Song for President. The outfits. Do you ever see her hotel room at all, at any point? I did not see her room. Okay. But I know that she's, also it's set in Boston, which I didn't know. Yes. That was news to me. Her daddy, her daddy is Mr. Tipton. I would love to live in a hotel, Copley Plaza, I'm talking directly to you now, hi, hello. I am well kept, I do not have the money, and I have no talent. But, let me tell you, I would liven up that fucking hotel like Eloise. No, for sure. So please, consider me. Consider us. We're a package deal. Facts. Okay. So, they put a fart box on poor Esteban. They put it in his pants. So, and they, they make it fart every time he's near a customer. And I just know this bell man, who fought his way through paying through college, and got a dead end thankless job, is not trying to get fired because two shithead twins. are making him fart in front of the people. Oh yeah, he just is. I just know. Julio, oh no, sorry. Esteban Julio Montoya, Rosanna Ramirez. That's his full name. I just know he deserves better. No, he does. And I really need Zach and Cody to get fucked. He's always sweating. Leave this poor man alone. If someone said to me, if you value your life, don't go in there. Okay, bye. End of episode. The way that TV would be so short for me. All of these episodes. Okay. All set. No, like, the way that this was like. You would be scared watching this as a child. Like, you'd be like, really? Yes, like it was scary. Were people scared? Yes. No fucking way. like the Halloween episode, like it was always on like the Halloween day. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. I didn't realize that. I mean it wasn't very scary watching it back now, but I get it because I would have been scared when I was a kid. And I was thinking about Harry Potter and how on the Goblet of Fire, when his name comes out, if someone was just like, okay, don't compete, end of book. Like if just one adult was like, no, let's not do that. Books would end real quick. TV shows would end real quick. Hey mom, we don't need to let the boy sleep in an abandoned suite. You know? Well, she didn't know. Carrie? Carrie's the singer, right? Yeah, so she's busy. She's working busy down at the She's a single mom. She works too hard. I did like I did like her sense of humor. I didn't love the pixie cut. No, but she's an icon. But she seemed very dry and funny. She's hilarious. Like, she seems like a cool mom. But I was like, Honey, let's just be like, no, don't sleep in the abandoned hotel room that's spooky. You know? Yeah, no, yeah. If someone put a feather duster on my face who worked at a hotel, I would be livid. What's her name? Miriam? Yes. Yeah, I believe so. Fuckin love her. Yes. This is the only episode I've ever watched of this show. Yeah. I want to haunt a hotel and have a wild story about me. This is dead goals. This is like ghost lore that I can get behind. Yeah, the good haunt. One day when I go to Sweet RuPaul in the Sky. I want lore and I want to haunt somewhere. So keep on the lookout. The manager, Mr. Mosby? Yes. The way her eyes just lit up when I said his name. We love him? Yes. Yes. Okay. We do love him. He's hilarious. Him in distress all the time. He would be so sick of their shit in real life. No, he is. The way they would get kicked out immediately. Oh, is he in every episode just sick of their shit? Oh, is. Of course he is. I would be like, someone get these two fucking shitheads out of my fucking hotel. Yeah, he's in every fucking episode. So they go into the room and one brother is like, you won't do it, you're a security cat. And the other one's like, no, no I'm not. And they basically make a bet that one's going to run out first and it's 5 and it's all very scary. And then they get into the room and shit pops off real quick. Like Esteban becomes possessed and starts speaking in a woman's voice and people start getting taken. Legitimately, someone's sitting in a chair, I think it's Maddie, she gets pulled back into the darkness, there's special effects, there's a skeleton, I'm like, pop off special effects! They haven't, no, did you watch the commercial episode or no? No, they make a commercial. It's so good. Welcome to the Tipton where everything is sweet. Oh, that's so good. We'll watch it Okay, great. So at the end all of these things are moving and the brother who was always scared starts to freak out and then they turn All the lights on it was all fake and they were playing a prank on him. So mean and I was so mad for him I was like sweet angel, but they realized it was fake and then they go back in and they're like, oh there's a blanket or some shit and they go in Irene the ghost comes out and is like I'll take that. And then she goes back into her painting and disappears. It was That was That is such a baddie move. Such a baddie move. I thought it was cute, I thought it was corny as fuck. So good. But I I understood the assignment. There is one, episode where Jesse McCartney's on it. And he sings Beautiful Soul. Yeah, he sings it. Maddie and London dress as waiters to get in. And they're just like in their waiters with mustaches, so cute. there's also one that you would appreciate that London has to stay at. Maddie's house, and she lives above Fenway, so like, she's like yelling at one of the Not like above, but like An apartment next to it? When she looks out her window, like she is staring into it Looking down, yeah. And like the guy's throwing her peanuts, or whatever, and she's like, Thanks, I'll hold on the window, it's fucking serious. Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah. So what's Maddie's role? She's the, the candy, the candy girl at the, the little store in the, the lobby. I did not care for her haircut. And I did not care for her looks. No. But I could see why London is a slay. Yeah, she is. She is a slay. And I actually saw her recently rank her outfits, which I thought was really cute. Oh, really? Cause she's in Running Point. Yeah. So they were like going back to Prindle or whatever the fuck that is. Prindle. But yeah, I Mr. Mosley goes, It's really mad. and goes, would you like AM or FIM? I'm talking about the radio. AM or FIM. Oh, AM or FIM. We all learned to drive from the Prindle situation. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. It was not a thing when I was growing up at all. Mm mm. But it reminded me of the Boy Meets World episode where there's a murder and there's like a murder mystery situation. That's what I watched. Oh, is that what you watched? Yeah, that's what I watched. Oh my god! That's so weird. With Scream? Or is it a different one? No, I think there's only one. There's like an iconic Boy Meets World. murder mystery episode of Saved by the Bell, but I watched a Scream episode of Boy Meets World. I think both of those count. Okay, cool. In my book. Cool. Gasp. Gasp. Okay, I watched the mystery episode of Saved by the Bell. My, I, I'm sorry I didn't know synopsis of all of these, these are just my little manic thoughts. So basically they go to a, which, there's no like a background on how they just came to be at this mystery house. Like there's no, like they don't give you, it's them literally walking in the front door of like an old house. And they're like, oh we're here for a murder mystery party. It's like, okay. Like how do we win? Who were, what are the logistics? How did you get here? Yeah, that doesn't matter. Do you guys have any licenses? I just, I had so many questions. I was getting kind of annoyed. Why do they all look 40? I don't remember them. Oh, they were so hot. No, I know. Kelly Kapowski is like the hottest woman that's ever existed. No, yeah. Slater is just. Oh, AC Slater. Zach. Like that name, dude. Oh, my. AC Slater is such a badass name. Like, how did they come up with that? Lisa Turtle, come on. Jessie. She's the original bad bitch. Jessie is just so naturally stunning. It's annoying. All of them. Kelly is too, but like. All of them. Perfect. Perfect. Prettiest cast. Yes. Truly. Yeah, out of every show. Yes. I would agree. And they just like, age perfectly. But you're right, You ever watched Vampire Diaries? And you're like, Damon is 40. This man is 45. Yes, well, I mean, I know he's supposed to be like 20, 000. And he's 17. Like, how are, what's happening here? No one's catching on that Stefan is Yeah, that's okay. It's okay. We don't need it for the plot line. I guess. I did unlock how much I forgot that I loved this show and also my issue with all the shows that I watched. I was expecting, like, an icc, like, no, I actually loved these shows. No, Brink was an icc one that I knew you would cringe at. Yeah. I loved Saved by the Bell, and still do. To your point, when I talked to you about Zack and Cody, you were like, oh, I'd watch that right now and laugh. Yeah. I would enjoy watching Saved by the Bell right now. Yeah, I kept it on, like, afterwards. For sure. Lisa is that bitch. Like, her attitude, her fit. When she breaks her foot and she does the Lisa Turtle dance and creates a whole new dance around her broken foot or her broken ankle or whatever the fuck it is, I don't even remember, and she hops around the dance floor, the diner, everything about it. The outfits, the haircuts, The hairstyles, everything. It's funny. I love it. I can write a thesis on Justice or Screech. Come on. So he's absolutely disgusting in real life. No, I don't give a fuck about him in real life. He's dead. But him in the show, like, so upsetting. They're so mean to him. Yeah, I'm okay with it. He's so funny. I don't know. You're letting his outside world taint him. Yeah, his real world is tarnishing the way I watch the show. I will admit. I'm in the bell land and I feel as though he is so kind to all of his friends and he's just like, he's just dumb. And he's just like so happy to be there and they're so mean to him. Yeah, and he's not hot. Yeah, it's just like, justice for him, that's all I'm saying. Ugly people problems. Honestly, the concept of the episode, like, I actually, like, wasn't really understanding. It's okay. No, I literally couldn't follow the mystery. I was like, what am I missing? I didn't understand that all of a sudden he was, Zach figured it out and like unveiled and like took off hats and wigs and stuff and was like, it's you. I'm like, no, there's, we did not follow along on this. This is like, you pulled this out of your ass, Zachary. But either way, I was just distracted by how good looking they were anyways. Yeah, for real. And it's like, where are your parents? Where are they? Yeah, I don't know. That's all. Those were my thoughts were saved by the bell. Love that The Boys Meets World episode, though. I watched two of them because I like didn't feel satisfied by the first one. 'cause I watched the episode where, uh, what's her name? Love Hewitt's on it from Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah. And it's like a scream episode, but although she wasn't in Scream mm-hmm So it was like, I was confused. I'm like, no, this is giving, like I know what you did last summer, but like not. Yeah. basically they get locked in the school and it's like a whole scream situation. Everyone's dying like, yes. Everyone's getting ma dead. Ma dead. Eric's making out with Jennifer Lovahewitt. It's just It's a whole thing. Yeah, it's just corny as fuck. And, so good, though. And then it ends up just being a fucking dream of Sean's while he's in class because he's just dreaming about how he wants, Cory and Topanga to get back together. And I was like, what the fuck did I just watch? I was expecting, like, some sort of No, we loved that episode. But the following episode was the one when they drink for the first time. Oh. Yeah. I haven't seen or thought about that in so long. Tell me everything. I was screaming. So, they go to a party. Cory and Topanga are not together, but like we all know they're the OG endgame. Love them so much. they were broken up at the time and then he goes to a party and people are like loving Cory and it's because he's had a little bit of like liquid courage and he's like, Oh my God, I'm cool. When I drink a little bit, I get a little like fun and flirty. So, he's like in the bathroom talking to himself in the mirror and he's like sipping. Mind you, what they're sipping is actually like A 4x4 bottle of, whiskey that he stole from his dad's house. And Sean comes in the bathroom at the party and he's like, Where have you been? You've been missing for an hour and a half. An inch is missing from the bottle. And he's like, like, it took you that long? And he's legless. And he's, he's literally like, I'm just having a good time. I'm feeling good. Like, they miss me out there? Like, just being so cringe. And, Sean's like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, you don't need a drink. It's fine. So, spoiler alert. They finish, they get drunk. They finish the bottle. Mind you, bottle is literally, like, Yeah, big like probably like four by four and they're like shit face from it, which I don't remember the first time I drink. Your tolerance is real low. Yeah, it must be. Especially for hard alcohol. Yeah, that's true. You're not just like having one Bud Light, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I think I had, this isn't the first time I drank, but like I remember a similar memory because they're kind of like going shot for shot and they're like, do it, like, and they're like struggling, obviously. I, one time before like a football game with my friend Megan out of a water bottle in her bedroom, like before we like got in the car with her mom, like went shot for shot with playing Rubinoff with no chaser. And like I went to go put, I like put it in my mouth and she's like, don't throw up. Like I'll just never forget it. Like I just remember, I was like, no, your turn now. Like it was just like, it was September, like freshman year. The bottle. Yeah. And then we like, putting gum in our mouth and like getting in the car with her mom. Like, do you think you, and we had like three sips. I'm sure you smelled so bad though. I'm like, our faces are warm. Like it was tea. Her faces are warm! So like, that's how I feel like they probably felt. Yeah, I came home and I said to Erin, I was slurring, and she goes, are you drunk? Like horrified that I had been drinking. And I went, I'm buzzed. And she was like, and then my mom came in the room and I was like, hi! That's when you know. That's when you know. But back then it wasn't a tell. I was kind of like that, and kind of still am. yeah, that was one of the first times I ever drank. And then Sean and Tom caught me one night and they actually got really mad at me. Really? Yeah. They were really upset. That's not, I know. I think it was because they were very much like my older brother. So I think they were just like, you're being an idiot. And I had too much, and they were just like, The fuck, dude? Your parents are wide awake. Like, what did you think coming home? They were mad more of my thought process around it and not being smarter than, like, the act of drinking alcohol. And then once that popped, they were like, You wanna come, eh? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. The gears shifted a bit. You told me a memory once, like, probably when I was younger, and it, like, stuck in my brain, because I was like, wow, that's so crazy and weird. Like, you put Crystal Light and vodka and just drank it one time, I think, at Tommy John's. I do that now. No, but like just straight up vodka, like literally. Oh, I did that in college and that was a terrible idea. So instead of using water to mix the crystallite, you would pour vodka in a water bottle and just shake it with the crystallite packets and have it. Yeah. Which is essentially. A really bad Cosmo in four of them. Yes, not smart. Not smart. However, I will say, my mother is always horrified when we talk about our drinking days in high school. When I got to college I understood alcohol. I understood how much was too much, what types of alcohol. Now I still had my nights where I was off the rails because it was college and it's like totally accept acceptable to binge drink, which is not acceptable. I don't know why as a society we do that. But yeah, you were better off than the person that didn't go out in high school. Every single person. Who started drinking in college for the first time got their stomach pumped every single person I knew who got their stomach pumped was like, oh, yeah That was my first night ever drinking Because you're trying to keep up with everybody else trying to keep up with the Joneses You've been let out of your cage, right? And now I'm not saying like start binge drinking when you're 15 so that by the time you get to college you're ready to go Live your life. Just don't be stupid, which is hard to do when you're that age That's fair. Lord knows we didn't listen. No, we did not. But you live and you learn, you know what I mean? You live and you learn. You live and you learn. Well, Cory lived and learned this episode. Oh, wow. They got arrested, but they got, like, a cop pulled up and, like, whatever, stupid. Pee seed. Yeah, yeah, kind of. So then they go back to Corey's house, the dad yells at them, it's a whole, a whole thing, and then the dad blames it on poor, sweet, innocent Sean, which he's not sweet and innocent, but he has gets a bad rep for it. Sean Hunter is chef's kiss. Chef's kiss. which honestly, like, Corey is just an ick to me. Always was an ick, was never really the biggest Corey fan, like, loved Eric. Loved him. No, like, I would die for him. Yes, yeah, the goofy, funnier, older brother versus you know what it was? Eric had a je about him. No, he didn't. Eric has Like, some cockiness, some confidence. Cory never had that. No. Cory was like, I'm Shawn's best friend, and my whole personality is being with Topanga. And he's just an ick. Like, he is an ick. I don't know. He's a sweet boy to me. He is. I'll always have a soft spot for Cory. He's a little, like, an ick to me. But I'll have a softer spot for Shawn forever. Yeah. No, yeah. Die for that man. Yeah. Also, not for nothing, the dad. Could get it? Could get it. Wow. Yeah. I haven't seen it in so long. Yeah, he was wearing a nice bomber jacket in this episode that I watched, I was like, wait a minute. Pop off, dad. I'm saying, Oh yeah, so they blame everything on Sean, which was really sad and upsetting, and Cory's like, No! It was me, Dad! Like, just shut up, Cory. Well, no, I'm glad. Stick up for fucking Sean. Don't let him take the blame, it's your fucking fault. But he was like, me and Topanga broke up, and no one asked me how I felt. It's like, shut up. And how, like, he pissed me off. Pfft! Every single show I've made you watch made you angry. No, no, no. I do love the show, I just like, sometimes I just get in a word with him. Yeah. And just like Justice for Sean. So then flash forward, mind you, this whole thing happened in one day. And I was like, come on now. Yeah, this is a lot. Suddenly he's an alcoholic and we're labeling him within 24 hours. And so he's in class and he's acting up in Mr. Feeney's class. And of course he's like, what's wrong, what's wrong with you? And then he gets home and cracks a beer and he's like, I'm like this. I like how it makes me. And then his like half brother comes in or whatever, I forget his name. comes in and he's like, You don't know the truth about dad, he's an alcoholic. And he's like acting like, I had no idea. We shouldn't drink, it runs in our blood. Like yeah, join, join the gang. Add it to the list. Get in line. One of us. One of us. One of us. But you know what? Get over it. I don't know. Instead, he's like punching his brother and he like pushes Angela and she's like, I don't like you when you're drunk. Yeah, leave Angela alone. I don't like you when you're drinking and it's like and the next day. Oh, it's the Matthews brother. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, and then It's just like this whole thing and he's just like what have I done? And the next day he gives Feeney an apple and they're like, sorry, I was an alcoholic for a day. And that was that. That was the episode in which they drank for the first time and now, and Sean was an alcoholic for 24 hours. That is a very short period to be on the fast track to alcoholism. Yeah. And he's like, I'm good now. And it's like, I've seen the light. I've gone to AA. I'm like, okay, I could not bring myself to watch the last episode ever because I've seen it before. And I just like, if I had to hear Feeney say class dismiss, I wouldn't be here today. Lost it. No, I would lost it. Yeah. 100%. The only other thing that I watched, obviously Full House. I watch Full House all the time. That's what it was like, not really. The melody, the milkman, the paperboy, even MTV. Dare I say that was good That's cuz we kept it low if we kept going it would have spun out of control really people mute us Definitely cool. I actually feel bad for people who listen cuz I listen to podcasts on 1. There is simply no fucking way Someone listens to this on 1. 5. If you listen to this on 1. 5. I want to hear from you We probably sound like coked up Insanity. Like, we talk so fast. You definitely talk faster than I do, but I still move pretty quick. We sound ridiculous on 1. 5. Probably. I've never tried it and I also have never listened to anything faster. I never thought to do that. You're so smart. No, you don't, you don't need. maybe on 1. 25 you would enjoy. Okay. I'll give it a try on my ride home. Okay. It might help the ADHD and I, I'm not joking. I mean that seriously. Like it keeps, you have to keep up with it, so you're actively listening. Yeah, instead of like tuning out. Right. couple thoughts. I, the episode I watched, because I just put on a random one, I, the one, it's the one where Stephanie, they're younger, like really young, and Stephanie drives into the house. She's like, do you think anyone will notice? She's just like talking to herself, she's so cute. couple things. Michelle Tanner, overworked and underpaid. That bitch. She is running the show. The star of the fucking show, the people's princess. I'm saying. For sure. She deserves more credit. I want to live in that house. So bad. There's just so much going on all the time and I never had that. And I would just love that. Yes. Have probably experienced this when I was younger and I remember thinking, oh my god, I love this, going to like a friend's house that had a lot of siblings and like a big family and like them coming in the house and being like, oh, I don't know who's here right now and like yelling in the house being like, hey, who's home? Like, I have never. had that. That sounds so stupid. No, it doesn't. It doesn't at all, Colleen. I always say to my girlfriends, so I grew up in the opposite of that, right? We were raised in a house with a revolving door. So even though it was only me and my sister, cousins were always there. They took people in a lot. We always had multiple people in our house. The, it was very rarely just the four of us, mom, dad, me, and Erin. And as I got older, I started to miss that, and now I live alone. And I'll go to my friend's house and they'll go, Oh my god, I'm sorry, it's a mess in here. And it always reminds me, I know I keep bringing up Harry Potter, When he goes to the borough, Oh yeah, he's so fucking happy. And Ron's like, it's not much, but it's home, and he's like, brilliant, like it's perfect. Every time I go into a home that's lived in with like noises and toys out and you can just tell there's like love and laughter, it fills my heart. Not to get so corny, but I'm always like, Oh my God, I love it here. I'll go to Erin's and she'll be like, Oh my God, I'm so, I'm like, do not, I love this. This feels so welcoming and joyful. Yeah. I have a few, high school friends that when I go to their houses, like, I could fall asleep on them. Like, I would fall asleep at their house. Like, that's when you know, like, you're, like, home. At home. At peace. One of my best friends got married last year, and we, she was like, oh, we're just gonna get, like, we're just gonna get ready at, like, my parents house. And I'm like, no, like, the excitement I have to be getting ready for, like, in your parents house, like, just to feel, like, just so cozy and at home, like, I loved your house. Like, she also has, like, Like four siblings. Like Yeah, just like that. Constantly busy. Yeah, constantly. People are talking and chatting and laughing and eating. Yeah. There's just a constant liveliness. So one time I went to Leanne's and her parents are the most wonderful people, and I was like, bring out the albums. I wanna see Yaya, I wanna, I wanna see the people. I wanna see everybody as kids. And I got told all the stories and I was like, this brings me, I don't think people, I think people think I'm doing that. For them, I love it. I get just as much out of it. You wouldn't ask, you know what I mean? No, like, your dad telling the same joke for the 50th time, I love. Yeah. I don't, I'm not annoyed by that. People are like, oh my god, I'm so sorry about him. I'm like, he could literally talk my ear off for the rest of the night. I'd be thrilled. Agreed. Are we okay? No. Simply no. Therapy. Simply put, no. Also, I just looked it up. This episode, it's called Honey I Broke the House. Stephanie drives a car into the house. Would you like to guess when it aired? 99. March 9th, 1990. Are you fucking serious? This episode is older than me. That's crazy. I am 34. I didn't even think of that in my head. It's like late 90s. March 9th, 1990. A woof. A woof. Simpler times. God rest his soul, but like honestly. Danny Tanner is fucking insufferable. Really? You thought so? Oh my god, yes. Oh, Uncle Jesse though. Oh my lord. It shouldn't even have been seen on television. If everyone I said could make you laugh, I'd talk forever. Let that be my wedding song. He's perfect. No, yeah. He, uh, and he also aged, like, the finest of wines. He's in Joshua Jackson territory for me. Like, someone who is just aging perfectly, who was a star at a young age and is still hot. Agreed. Please continue. I literally have nothing else over that episode, like, wow, it was just perfect. Kimmy Gibbler, Fuller House can fuck the fuck right off, especially. Yeah, no, that's a no for me. They should've, they should've let the go. Can't people, I'm like on a weird vibe about Candace Cameron. Yeah, that's a hard no for me. It's just like, something's off. She's an ick. Something ain't right. Uh, God bless Jodie Sweetin, she's been through some shit. She's a Yeah. Something ain't right. Yeah. God bless her. Something's happening there. None of them are actually well, now that I think about it. Other than John Samos. Mary Kay and Ashley. Yeah. John Samos is fine. What's the deal with Dave Coulier these days? We talked about him recently. I don't really know. Why was that? I don't know. I thought it brought, maybe he was married to somebody? I don't know. It doesn't matter. But. So the last episode I have is Girl Meets World. Ugh. To clarify. I didn't watch the show. Like, I really didn't. It was probably on, like, at the end of my, I would have been too old for sure. TikTok a bunch and I'm like. What the fuck am I watching? Okay. So, I, I actually don't have the words for this episode. Okay, cool. Farkle has Asperger's. Okay. Or does he? My synopsis, this boy gets tested for Asperger's and everyone treats him like he's a delicate and dying Victorian child who is about to succumb to smallpox. Yes. This was such a wild episode of television, I don't have the words. That is my synopsis. They definitely tried to bring some awareness to the topic, like I think the idea was good, the lesson of it, right? The thing about Boy Meets World is it always ended with a positive, like, hey. You know, when we sit down and we really think about it, right? There was definitely some kumbaya that they wanted to happen. The delivery was so bad. It was so. It was so bad, Colleen. The Sabrina Carpenter of it all? Are you not gonna talk about that? Sabrina Carpenter. First of all, this came out in 2015. So Sabrina Carpenter is yay high. Yep. She's five feet tall now. So imagine what we're working with in 2015. And now she's popping her pussy. Now she's just like, did you see her at the Brits? Yes. Get down on her knees. Crazy. Pop off, Sabrina. I'm gonna get back up. Okay, here's the thing. So if you watched Boy Meets World. Girl Meets World, Topanga and Kory are the parents, and Minkus, who is the nerd from their high school, is Farkle's dad. Okay, everybody? Okay. So Minkus is grown up, Kory and Topanga are grown up, and Kory is their teacher. at high in high school and Nightmare. Why is everyone so upset that this boy might have Asperger's? He's literally they're reading off like, that means you might have this and he's like, check. And Sabrina Carpenter goes, no you don't! Like, it's not cancer. It's not a terminal illness. It's on the spectrum, as are the rest of us, quite honestly. Everyone's on their own little spectrum. He literally says, I may have autism, and she yells, No, you don't. Tell them you don't! Yeah, it's so aggressive, and it's like so It doesn't make any sense. The vibe is off just from the jump. I wrote, why is Sabrina Carpenter behaving this way? Stop trying to change Farkle. Let the man be. Just let him be his normal quirky self. He was fine until someone was like, something might be off. Let's test you, bitch. Yeah, he's super smart, and he's quirky and he's funny and he says a lot of weird things and you know what his friends love him for it so just like let him fucking be himself and at one point they say something they're reading off of the list of all the symptoms and it says like has a hard time with connection or something along those lines and he looks them dead in the eye and he goes gang or i'm paraphrasing but this is the part that's a quote please don't ever let me not understand love are you a robot are you a robot What do you mean? You're 12. But they love him, so that's all that matters. Please don't ever let me not understand love. And it does that music that goes right before commercial, where it's like dun dun dun dun dun like, do you know what I mean? The breakaway of this like somber moment that they're all having. I'm like, you guys, your friend is fine. No. They even throw a party for him. Because he, he might be on the spectrum of, I don't know, his parents throw him a party. I don't know. They give him a blazer because then he's like, I may transfer schools and they give him a blazer that looks exactly like the five timers club blazer from SNL. So when you're on SNL for five times, you get like a. Green blazer, he's like going to Einstein school or something. I don't fucking know. They gave him a blazer I was gonna say where's my party in this bitch Bitch so I was a studio audience member on the Big Bang Theory and you have to laugh because that's What they record and that's what's in the back of the show Listening to the laugh track on this episode caused me physical pain Why because the thought of someone sitting in the audience and forcing a laugh For Asperger's was crazy, was fucking crazy and then at one point he gets tested and they come back and they're like you're very gifted but we like don't really know what the problem is and Corey has this name plate on his desk and he flips it, Farkel comes in and he flips it over and the other side says Farkel and he gives this speech to the class and he's like I'm different and I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm happy with who I and he gives this speech. Can I just say, Cory has no control. The inmates are running the prison. This class is so chaotic. Kids are getting up left, right, and center and speaking their minds. Shut the fuck up. If I was 16, my teachers would be like, Why are you standing up and speaking? You have to learn about U. S. history. Shut the fuck up. No one gives a fuck about Farkle. He's like, is it Farkle time? And then he gives some fucking, I could not deal. So the whole episode is like, does he have Asperger's? Does he have autism? I'm like, what is the deal? It goes, he starts seeing this girl. Her name is Isadora. Which all I could say in my head. The Isadora Diamond, from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I'll like a picture. Isadora only wants him if he has Asperger's because she also has Asperger's. Is that a kink? I'm just kidding. We can't be together if this isn't the case. And their friends are just like, why don't you just be you and he just be him? Like, I'm, I'm missing the part where you don't love you if you don't have Asperger's. And you don't have the Berg? And it comes out, he doesn't have Asperger's. He's just weird? This entire episode. I didn't know that. He's just on the spectrum. Again, which, yeah, one of us. But just this whole thing about like, I might have Asperger's, for the end of the episode be like, It's not Asperger's. What do you mean? That was the theme of the whole episode. I can't, I'm dead. Remakes are fucking ass. At one point, Farquhar comes in and Isadora is sitting on this, like, of course there's a nook under the window. There was always, like, a window seat in these TV shows. And Sabrina Carpenter's friend is like, come here, like, give them alone time. You know what I mean? Like, come over to the bed. And Sabrina's like, I'll leave you two alone. And then walks not even five feet away and sits on the bed and faces them to listen to the conversation. Dude. And I'm like, what is happening? And Basically, they decide that they like each other and they're going to continue to date regardless of the fact that Farkle doesn't have Asperger's. And it was so terrible to watch. And I can't believe that Of the recommendations we gave each other, of course Brink was cringey. This was the worst thing I watched and it came out the most recently. That's why I put it at first. And I was shook by it. But that's the caliber of all of the, that generation shows. It was crazy. They're horrible. Horrible. So bad. Let Boy Meets World live in the infamy that it deserves. Don't ruin it. That was fucking crazy. It just was the silliest episode of television and I get what they were trying to do, but it just was so bad. And now there are tons of Reddit threads about how bad it was, so if you ever just want to go down a Reddit rabbit hole one day. Highly recommend. I did write, this group of friends is pretty wholesome, except they act as if their friend was dying, even though he's just autistic. And that was my recap of the shows. Yeah, that's a lot. Nothing will ever beat Something's Wrong Without Julie. I'm Julie Winferal. is all timer. Like, I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my life. When she jokes him, that's all I could think about, I was waiting for something. She's like, just go downstairs and get me a beer. Dude. And then she attacks him like a rabid animal. Fuck. Good lord. Anyway, that was fun. Yeah, that was good. Watching the cringy, wholesome shit we used to watch is is good for us. No, yeah. Good for our soul. It scratched something within my soul for sure. Yeah, it scratched an itch. Mm hmm. Like Edward Cullen? Yeah. It's just my oily skin. You smell like It's just my combinations. Sunflowers and have a fit no, what's it? You smell like pine needles and have a face like sunshine. Yes. Yeah. Bridesmaids? Yep. I will say, I was always a Sephora girly. Right? Bought all my shit from Sephora. Made sure that I was buying the best because I thought that my skin was so sensitive that I needed to buy that stuff. Then I lost my job. And we were fully fun employed. And I was like, oh, ya bitch needs to go to CVS. And get some And I've always had Target makeup stuff. Like I don't want to sound like I only Ulta's so cheap. But yeah, like I had good stuff that was cheaper, but I had never done like a full face of, I'm never going back to Sephora ever again. Couldn't pay me to go in there. The way in which my skin has never looked better and I am using full Target brand CVS shit you can find on Amazon, at Walmart. Everywhere. That is quite literally one third the price. I'm like, what are we doing here? Get on the talk. The talk will show you the way. I know, and, but I don't believe influencers anymore. I think they just sell, and listen, they're, they're trying to pay their bills. No, no, not the, don't follow the influencers, but like the low level people that, is it, say, sponsored in the corner? Yeah, I used to have like Giorgio Armani. Foundation. Like, what the fuck was I doing? Genuinely. Not a vibe. I mean, it is when you, like, need it to last all day and you're going to a wedding. But that gets saved. For day to day stuff, I bought Elf Glow Foundation Tint with SPF in it. What a goddamn dream! Stunner. Stunning! So don't go to Sephora. Ain't nobody need that shit. No, buy the cheap stuff. Just because it's less expensive doesn't mean it's bad. Yep. And just because it's really expensive doesn't make it great. Exactly. And that's tea. And that's the tea. Wear your sunblock. Buy cheap drugstore makeup that will last you a lifetime. Yeah, if you were to take away anything from this ridiculous episode it would be that. Elf. Nicks. Can't go wrong. I mean, for me, throw in a wet and wild lip liner. Oh wow. Yeah. Or one of those lip oils. Yeah. Throw it in there. Fuck it. Get crazy with it. Oh wow! alright. Love you mean it. Love you mean it. Bye. Hey, hey, hey. Anna, ooh.

Speaker 9 1:48:33

podcast was produced by me, Bridget Shannon. Music is written and performed by Matt Derosiers. You can find his band, Super Stoker, anywhere you listen to music.