What My Daughter's Resistance Taught Me About Hashem’s Love

A simple moment of negotiating with my four-year-old daughter about wearing her seatbelt transformed into a profound spiritual revelation about God's desire to reward us for even the most basic actions. When my wife gently corrected my offering rewards for basic tasks, I realized this mirrors how God relates to us—creating numerous mitzvot not as burdens but as opportunities to shower us with blessings and rewards.

• My daughter resisted wearing her seatbelt for our short drive home
• I offered a "special reward" if she would comply
• My wife pointed out I shouldn't always reward basic expected behaviors 
• This interaction revealed a profound spiritual insight about divine rewards
• God created 613 mitzvot rather than just 10 to increase our reward opportunities
• Even mundane actions like eating and using the bathroom become opportunities for divine connection
• The Mishnah teaches God wants to bestow goodness and gifts upon us
• We're not meant to observe mitzvot solely for rewards, but rewards exist because God loves us

Chapters

• 0:00 The Seatbelt Standoff
• 1:07 Wife's Parenting Wisdom
• 1:38 Comparing Parenting to Divine Rewards
• 2:22 God's Abundant Gift of Mitzvot

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

It hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. It was just yesterday. I was getting into the car doing carpool and I picked up my daughter from daycare. I put her in the back seat, buckled the seatbelt of the car seat around my daughter. She was resisting, she didn't want the seatbelt, we just live around the corner. Please, please, can you, please put your seatbelt on? I pleaded with my four-year-old. She continued to say no Tati, it's right around the corner, I don't want it. The seatbelt gets too warm and then the sun makes the metal burn my skin after it heats up to 100 degrees. All good claims, but I was being rigid, stern, firm. Of course we need the seatbelt for safety. And then I said it. And then I said it. I told my daughter. I said please, put on your seatbelt, I'll give you something special, I'll reward you if you put on your seatbelt.

Speaker 1: 0:53

My significant other, my wife was sitting in the seat next to me, looked at me with a happy glance but mentioned quietly you know you don't always have to offer something special, a reward for some of the easiest jobs. If you want your daughter to do something, she has to listen to you. You don't necessarily have to offer something special, but just something that is so basic, like putting on the seatbelt. I took the lesson from my wife. I believe that she's right and I also thought, as my four-year-old had now acquiesced, because I'd already offered something special at this point, so she was now to win. But I thought at this point, unbelievable God, god Almighty, kutzabrichu, mishnah, tells us that he wants to reward us and he rewards us handsomely, for even basic chores. Isn't that what they say before Marav? Or they say when they need to recite a B'raiso or a Mishnah to say Kaddish, that God wants to grant special things, prizes from the toy store To his Jewish people, to his children.

Speaker 1: 2:01

He increased it. He didn't just give us 10 mitzvahs, but he gave us 613. And he gave us countless, if not almost 50, mitzvahs all about the carbon Pesach. And he gives us Shabbos, so many mitzvahs, all these things because he wants to be mizakha us. And God rewards us Even for things that you already have to do. God wants to reward you and give you special things For buckling your seatbelt. God wants to give you a reward for using the bathroom, saying a bracha, eating an apple, having lunch.

Speaker 1: 2:29

God makes mitzvot about them because in Hashem's world. In Hashem's eyes, he's a loving Father who just wants to be benevolent and bestow goodness and give you gifts to the toy store for doing your basic chores. Hashem is ne'emon l'shalem scharim. You're not supposed to live to get rewarded, but you should know that there is a handsome dowry, a handsome reward in store for all the mitzvot and Torah that you do, and it's because Hashem loves you and he wants to be mizakayu. That's why he was here. But he gave us so many Torah, so much Torah and so many mitzvahs to give us unbelievable schar and special presents and gifts from the toy store, even for simple chores like buckling our seatbelt on the way home from Morah.