5 Years in Kollel. 4 Months in Real Estate. Here’s What I’ve Learned About Life.

Clarity can be comforting, but it can also be a hiding place. We start with a personal reflection on the first five years of married life in Kollel, the kind of Torah learning that builds a bayis on the will of Hashem and feels too precious to trade for anything. That foundation matters, and we say it plainly: the people who pushed us, the rabbeim and parents who believed in us, helped make those years possible.

Then the story turns practical. The move from the Kollel bench into a new stage of life means learning how to provide financially too, and that brings us into the high-pressure world of real estate sales. We talk about getting “well prepared” with real estate books, sales systems, and smart ideas, especially when you’re trying to compete in a busy market. But the punchline is unexpectedly simple: the job is won on the phone, in real conversations, with consistent follow-up and the courage to ask, “Are you trying to buy or sell, and can I help?”

That’s where the deeper takeaway lands for anyone focused on spiritual growth, mussar, and Avodas Hashem. We challenge the habit of saying, “I just need to learn a little more,” when what we really need is to do what we already know. Drawing on Rav Dessler’s framing of Har Sinai, we explore how real tests begin after clarity, when excuses run out and it’s time to build habits: getting up on time, booking the chavrusa, showing up to the shiur, and quitting what needs to end.

If this hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s stuck in “prep mode,” and leave a review. What’s one concrete action you’re taking this week?

Transcript

Why The Kollel Years Matter

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Offer me one billion dollars for the Zosim that I am massed during the first five years of my married life, and I would say no, because I started it in Kolal, and my merits that my family and I amassed are boundless. I'm proud of it. Sometimes I even like to flaunt it. I don't think that's a good idea. But when you start your life as a full-time Torah player, it helps you to build your yesoit of your bias totally upon the will and wants of Hashem. It wasn't just me. It was the forces and the motivation from people outside of me that encouraged me to take this jump and to do it. And also, I Rabaim and parents, all of it. And these five years are priceless to me. And now

Moving Into A New Life Stage

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I have been socha to transfer from the Kolel bench into a new matzev of life. One in which I am now able to provide financially, not just spiritually, for my family. Time to move out of the basement, go get ourselves a nice piece of property, trade the Kolel 12-passenger mobile for the new Genesis, maybe for success. But

Entering Real Estate With Intention

SPEAKER_00 1:13

in becoming a real estate salesperson, as soon as I selected to become a real realtor and become someone who helps buyers buy and sellers sell and get deals closed, which is actually harder than it sounds in the world of real estate to do this, I decided that I need to be well prepared and smart and get ahead of the competition in this highly competitive industry, especially in 08701 and its surrounding zip codes. So I decided to read and study about everything that I could in the real estate market. I bought a book, Your First 365 Days in Real Estate. Actually, very good. Ninja Selling, subtle skills, big results. Someone gifted to me, gifted it to me. Also, a very good way to learn how to actually sell people by seeing, well, dealing with people's type of skills. The Go Giver is a great book, but kind of is you can get it all in just one mimer from Rev Dessler's piece on being a giver, not a taker, how to really give, and that's how you get. Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

The Truth About Getting Results

SPEAKER_00 2:13

But what I decided was that in all of my studying, in all of my wanting to get better and learn more and get more books to become better, I realized that it's actually not more books that I need. Because I got to the truth. I understood from these books and understanding what it is to be a realtor. It is only getting on the phone and calling people to see, are you trying to buy? Can I help you? Hi, are you trying to sell? Can I help you? It's that simple. It's the communication and the pitching of your skills. It's not more wisdom that I need, it's more action of getting on the phone. And then it hit me.

When Learning Becomes A Delay

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Maybe this isn't true just in real estate. Maybe this you sighted is important for us to know in the realms of the holy and sacred Tarahakdasha and our Avaidas Hashem. Could it be, God forbid, that sometimes we could get stuck wanting to learn more musr or think again about what God wants of me. I'm just not there to take the leap yet. We need to read more books about what it means to be an Evid Hashem, but all that is maybe just an excuse for that. You know what Avaidas Hashem's about. You know, just like being a realtor means to get on the phone and hit the phones. Avaidas Hashem is about acting and building habits that Hashem wants you to have. It's about bringing glory to God's name and about saying no to the Eight Sahara. Maybe we don't just need another satyr of Masilas Yasaram or another Shmooz from a Buphraim waxman. Maybe it's actually taking action that we need. Maybe we already know what we're capable of. Sometimes we get stuck in trying to, well, I just need to know more. I need one more shear. We're not there yet. Maybe we are there yet.

Har Sinai And The Test Of Clarity

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Deslar points this out actually. When the Jewish people are frightened after the experience at Mount Sinai, Astra Abezu says, don't be afraid, because God came Laman Linasoso. He came to test you. What's the test? See the Ram, see the Rambah. Riv Desler explains the Rambah and he says, the test is that now you have clarity. There's no more excuses. When you get to the clarity and now it's put up or shut up time, now it's time to actually get to work. That's the test of Harsina. Now you have clarity. Let's see what you do now. It's not more clarity and wisdom that we need to sell real estate, and it's not more clarity and wisdom that we need to become better. It's action that we need. It's

Habits That Turn Growth Real

SPEAKER_00 4:34

building the habits of jumping out of bed in the morning that we need. It's booking the Khavrusa. It's going to the shear. It's actually quitting the habits that need to be to be brought to an end. That's what Hashem wants from us. That's something that I came to. This realization by knowing that I know how to sell. I know how to sell real estate. I know how to help people buy. Now it's time to just do it more. Maybe in our Vidas Hashem, we know what is asked of us. It is not another shear that we need, but it is taking action that it is time for.