121: Would You Give $100K to Your Ex’s New Family?

A woman finds out she’s still the beneficiary on her ex-husband’s life insurance policy, years after their divorce. He’s since remarried and had a child. When he passes away unexpectedly, she’s notified she’ll receive $100,000. Now the new wife is asking for the money… for their child.

In this episode, Jessica and Brandon break down the emotional, financial, and legal sides of this viral dilemma.

You’ll hear:

• Why updating your beneficiaries is crucial
• Whether it’s morally wrong to keep the money
• How to support a child financially without giving cash to an ex’s new spouse

For anyone navigating life after divorce, blended families, or financial planning, this is one you don’t want to miss.

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Money, relationships, and the mindset to master both. Hosted by financial advisor Brandon and his wife Jessica, The Sugar Daddy Podcast breaks down how to build wealth, unpack old money beliefs, and have real conversations about love and finances. Their mission? To help couples and individuals grow rich in every sense of the word: emotionally, relationally and financially.

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Transcript

The Viral Scenario Read-Aloud

Jessica 0:00

In today's episode, I am going to present Brandon with a moral dilemma that I found on the internets of social media. He does not know what I'm going to present to him. And so this is going to be a very quick and candid conversation of what would Brandon do. I saw it and I instantly thought, oh gosh, I know that there's going to be conflict in this conversation because it's a doozy. So if you want to hear a fun chat of me presenting Brandon with a moral dilemma based around finances, stay tuned. You don't want to miss this.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Sugar teddy podcast, yo. Learn how to make them pockets grow. Financial freedoms where we go. Smart investments, money flow.

Jessica 0:48

So I saw two things on social media that I want to run by you and I want to see what you would say.

Brandon 0:54

Now preface this, I don't know. I have no idea what she's about to say. So this is gonna be my honest take right away.

Jessica 1:01

All right, so I'm gonna read this to you, okay?

Brandon 1:03

All right.

Ethics Of Keeping The Payout

Jessica 1:04

My ex and I have been divorced for a few years. We were married for seven years total and never had children. He remarried after we separated and had a child with his new wife. He recently passed away unexpectedly, and I received notice that I will be that I am still the beneficiary on his life insurance policy for$100,000. His wife found out and is asking me for the money because she has a child with him. It's not my responsibility to keep his policy beneficiaries updated. He should have done that. Am I the asshole for wanting to keep the money and not give it to his new wife and child? And what options do I have to contribute to his child but not his wife? Hmm. What you gotta say?

Brandon 1:52

First and foremost, that's one of the reasons why I say you gotta do a annual checking of your beneficiaries to make sure that everything is up to date because especially the age that we're at, we are in the season of unfortunately we have friends that are getting married, getting remarried, and you didn't make sure all that stuff is up to date and it's the way that you want it to be.

Jessica 2:11

Yeah. Uh hello, you got a divorce and you didn't update your beneficiaries.

Brandon 2:15

Yeah, that's yeah. I mean, and I I've seen that scenario happen one time.

Jessica 2:20

Yep.

Brandon 2:21

Um now, is that person is that person the asshole?

Jessica 2:27

See, like what should she do? Should she keep it?

Options To Support The Child

Brandon 2:30

So the thing for me is that since there is a child involved here, that's to me is the the make or then the make or break factor. Reason being is that what I'm saying, regardless of what happened between the woman who received the money, uh, her ex-husband, and her ex-husband's current spouse, there's still a kid involved here that needs to be taken care of. So if that money would be needed to take care of that child, a hard for me, that'd be hard to take away from an innocent child that has nothing to do with any dynamics of what other relationship might be. Because, for example, like maybe you're, you know, maybe the husband cheated on her with this you know new spouse, whatever.

Jessica 3:11

Yeah, I don't that was not detailed.

Brandon 3:13

That's all dynamics between the adults. I have a hard time not giving money to the kid. Now, if she wants to bypass giving the wife money to use because for whatever reason, maybe there's something that had gone on there, she literally could just put the money in the 529 plan for the kid.

Jessica 3:31

Okay.

Brandon 3:32

And that would limit or she well and that would limit well, I take it back. So if you put in the 529 plan, you still can can't pull it out, but you're then you're penalized on it. So if she wanted to specifically give the money to the kid to make sure that you know it's used for the child, there are ways to do that.

Jessica 3:54

But I would assume that it's like current living expenses and not future college education expenses.

Brandon 4:01

Yeah, so like it's tricky. If yeah, it's if it's current living expenses, that's just gonna it's gonna be a headache for you or over a hundred thousand dollars.

Jessica 4:09

Like I mean, you know me. If I was newly married to somebody who was previously married to somebody else, I'm gonna say, have you updated your beneficiaries?

Brandon 4:21

Yeah.

Jessica 4:21

But like people don't do that.

Legal Realities Of Beneficiaries

Brandon 4:23

No, they don't. And the thing is too, is that that that's not on that's not on whoever put the life insurance policy in place.

Jessica 4:31

No, that's on whoever owns the policy. Yeah, that's on the person who owns the policy.

Brandon 4:34

They need to update it, they need to reach to reach out to the person because the person who put the policy in place may not even be, you know, in finance anymore. They might not even be alive.

Jessica 4:42

Right. Oh my god.

Brandon 4:43

But you need to make sure that your policy is updated and the correct beneficiaries on there. Sounds like a terrible situation. Like I said, for me at the end of the day, if the money's for a kid, I'd have a hard time keeping it. Now, for example, if there wasn't a kid. Oh, my money.

Jessica 4:58

Okay. So if there I knew, I knew you were gonna say that. So if there wasn't a kid, then it's like too bad, so sad, he should have updated the beneficiaries. But because there's a kid, you're like, Yeah, no, do the right thing and make sure that the kid gets the money. No kid. No kid, no money.

Brandon 5:16

It's like you have the wrong number. You wouldn't you try to call me.

Audience Reactions Invited

Jessica 5:20

Well, I'm I was also thinking when I read this, because like legally, how would the new wife know that the insurance went to She could only assume she wouldn't Because you wouldn't actually legally be able to find that out, right?

Brandon 5:34

No, because so like in that scenario, if the current wife knew there was a life insurance policy and then she calls in about it, basically what she's gonna get is that you're not named as the beneficiary, we cannot give you any information.

Jessica 5:47

And you've had to do that.

Brandon 5:48

Yes.

Jessica 5:49

Yeah.

Brandon 5:49

That's And it wasn't yeah, it wasn't a policy I put in place. It was like one that I kind of inherited from somebody else. But yeah, in that scenario, but she could probably assume that his ex-wife is probably the one that's on the policy, and that's where you kind of go from there. But legally, she wouldn't be she wouldn't be afforded any information.

Wrap And Off-Mic Banter

Jessica 6:07

Yeah. Uh we would love to hear from you guys about this. What do you think? What would you do if this was a scenario that you were in? Would you keep the money or would you make sure that the money somehow goes to that child? Definitely let us know, comment, slide in our DMs, send us an email. We want to hear from you. And most importantly, if you don't do anything else today, do this after you are done listening to this episode. Please check your beneficiaries on all of your accounts, your bank accounts, your investment accounts, your 401k, your life insurance. That is what the call to action is today, is to check your beneficiaries. And if you think that you've had a life change since you last instated a beneficiary, I don't know if instated is the right word, designated, determined, um, you know, or you've changed uh partners, you've gone through a divorce, any of those major life things. You've gotten married. I know, you know, before Brandon and I got married, uh, my parents were probably the beneficiary, maybe my brother. Now it is our trust, you know. Um, if it's if it's not Brandon, it's our trust, that kind of thing. So please, please, please, after listening to this episode, go check your beneficiaries and make sure they are up to date because you do not want to be in this moral dilemma. Don't forget, Benjamin Franklin said, an investment in knowledge pays the best interest. You just got paid. Until next time.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Sugar Daddy Podcast go. Learn how to make the pockets grow. Find mental freedoms where we go. Smart investments, money flow.

Jessica 7:51

Thanks for listening to today's episode. We are so glad to have you as part of our Sugar Daddy community. If you learned something today, please remember to subscribe, rate, review, and share this episode with your friends, family, and extended network. Don't forget to connect with us on social media at the Sugar Daddy Podcast. You can also email us your questions you want us to answer for our past the sugar segments at thesugardaddypodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail to our Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Our content is intended to be used and must be used for informational purposes publicly. It is very important to do your own analysis before making any investment based upon your own personal circumstances. We should take independent money to advise from a license professional and connection with or infinitely research and verify any information you find in our podcast and which you rely upon, whether for the purpose of making an investment decision or otherwise.