Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
Having Confidence Finding Your Way Through Grief with Bobbi Ashworth
In this episode Ciera interviews her inspiring friend, Bobbi who is the wife of a fallen police officer. Bobbi shared her love story with Adam and how she has been confidently finding her way through grief. Be ready to have your heart strings tugged but also be empowered with knowledge of how to help yourself and others through grief and loss.
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You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Sierra, a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out and I'm here to show you how. Body image, dreams, parenting style, personality, and more. Here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. Welcome back to Confidently Beautiful with Sierra. I'm your host, Sierra. We are going to be talking all about marriage and self-love this month for the month of love. It is February, love month, and one of the deepest loves I think we can experience is that with a spouse, but also one of the strongest feelings of grief you can experience is losing a spouse. No marriage is perfect and no marriage goes the way we hope it will. There's really good moments in marriage, but there's really hard moments too, and there are bumps along the road and sometimes loss can strike and leave us absolutely paralyzed wondering how we can go on life without that other person without the person that has become so ingrained in our lives I got to interview my inspiring friend Bobby who is the wife of a fallen police officer she shared her love story with Adam and she has shared how she confidently is finding her way through grief get ready this one is a good one to have your heart strings tugged at but it will also empower you to How are you with the knowledge? I learned so many things about helping others through loss, but also being able to help yourself through loss. So here is my interview with Bobbi. Hey Bobbi, thank you so much for being with us today. So can you tell us a little bit about you and Adam? Sure. Adam and I were married in 2002. And we actually met. I was his boss at work. And he came in one day, and I was like, dang. And my coworker was like, dang. And I was dating someone at the time. And so anyway, it was just harmless flirting. But I ended that relationship, and we started dating on the down low and playing softball. And... yeah we we started dating in july and we're married in january it's pretty quick really fast um i was working for a telemarketing company at the time and they sent me to kansas to open a telemarketing company out there and um We got married, and he followed me out there. We got pregnant with Hannah and had a baby, the first grandbaby on all the sides. So she's spoiled rotten. Spoiled. And probably still is. And loved. Yeah. The favorite of all the grandkids. Yes. Yeah, for sure. And so because we had the new grandbaby, his dad offered him an opportunity to come back home and start a business, a welding fabrication business for SkyWest building engine stands. And so we made our way back to St. George with our eight-month-old baby to start this welding business. And it went really, really great. We had Maddie in the meantime, my second. And then 2008 hit. We had Jackson at that time. He's a brand new baby. And the economy crashed. And they grounded planes. And we were all of a sudden out of work. And our business was like, okay, what's next? I had him. was like, well, the only other thing I've wanted to be as a police officer. And I was like, nope. Because you're familiar with the police officer life, right? Yeah. So I grew up with a dad who was a police officer. And there was a lot of things associated, bad things. things associated with being a police officer, the safety thing being one, infidelity and opportunities for infidelity being a second one, since my dad was not faithful to my mom. So there was a lot of daddy issues that I had to work through, but in the long run, I worked through those, and I encouraged him to go through the academy. We paid for it ourselves. We didn't have a job beforehand, and we sent him up to Weber State to go through the academy, and he graduated and was one of two officers out of like 115 that actually tried out for St. George PD. Oh, wow. So we were really excited that he got hired on there and it started that whole journey right there. Yeah. So you had three, your three kids at that point. Was your marriage totally perfect? No. Yeah. No. Like no marriages, right? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Um, in fact, when, when we were out in Kansas, actually, I went home six months into it and was like, yeah, sign me out. I'm done. Um, This is hard. This is too hard. and we're just not getting along and we're fighting and we're only six months into it. And I went home actually for a family reunion. I was like, man, I feel off.
SPEAKER_00:Surprise!
SPEAKER_01:Surprise! And I'm pregnant. So I went home and things got better for a while. I'm pregnant. We're all excited. But yes, our marriage was very hard, actually. There was several times during our marriage that I prayed to Heavenly Father to leave, to leave the marriage. Please direct me on how to do that. I'm unhappy. He's unhappy. My kids are unhappy. It's affecting everybody. And three times I was denied, told to stay in my marriage. And the last time I was like, Lord, I'm not asking again. You know, like things have got to change or I'm out. And after the third time, Things slowly started to change. Adam got, he's always struggled with his confidence, having friends and figuring out who he was. And so eventually he started getting friends. He became more confident in his career and what he had to offer and becoming more confident in himself, which in turn led to a better marriage, a more healthy marriage, a more loving marriage, because I feel like when you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. And that's so true in your marriage. If you don't know who you are, you don't have the confidence in who you are, and you don't love who you are, you cannot... you possibly don't have it in you to love anyone else.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's like
SPEAKER_01:neighbors, your, your kids, your spouse, um, because you just self love is so important, um, for every aspect in your whole life. So he, he started gaining that confidence and our marriage started to change in, um, Philip about last five years was amazing. Yeah. So you felt like, The last five years of your marriage, you've like seeing a future and like this is going to be so good. Yeah, we're planning futures. We're talking about how great, you know, Adam was never really a great dad. He was a great protector, provider, but the relationship with his kids really struggled. And, you know, having a career in law enforcement really helped. is very stressful. You see the, the bad in humanity every single day. So it's really hard to take yourself out of that and see the good in humanity. Um, and so you take that stress home, which caused not the greatest relationship with his kids. So, and like all marriages, it was kind of a roller coaster, you know, it was, it wasn't picture perfect. No, there were moments. There's always moments. Yeah. Yeah. Um, But yeah, we really did struggle for a long time. Well, I'm glad that you were able to get to that place for that five years of the last part of your marriage. So can you tell us kind of now a little bit what happened? 2020, the pandemic hit and the world kind of went chaotic. You know, he's in the law enforcement world. I remember talking to you when all of the Black Lives Matter stuff was happening and I was texting you and, you know, you were telling me like even in this small town of St. George, like there's some scary things. So can you kind of set that up for us a little bit? What life was like for you? For you too, then. Oh, man. For probably the first time in his career, I was a little worried. There was so much hatred out there towards police officers, and no one wanted to become one. They were short-staffed. They went from having... Plenty of police officers were going to calls to having calls hold all day because they were so inundated and couldn't get help because no one wanted to put their lives on the line. Because the world was scary. Yes. So scary. Yes, and still is. But, you know, just... Yeah, I don't... Yeah. It was a lot. It was a hard time. It was a hard time, and it was scary for the families of the police officers and to... wonder what the world was going to come to, even in St. George. You know, the riots and the protests in St. George. And he had actually got certified to be on the anti-riot team. And so he was also showing up in gear to all the protests and things like that, you know? Yeah. So, yeah, it was pretty scary. Yeah. And then, so 2021 came and there were some fires. Adam was on duty. And there was a five house fire that went up on Diagonal down here. And Adam was on duty and close by. So he's one of the first police officers to respond to that. And he went in to clear those houses. of people to make sure that there was no one inside and ended up at the end of the day going to the ER for smoke inhalation damage and then being released thinking it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. Three weeks later, he contracted COVID from work. In the public eye and in the community, you're bound and determined to contract it. And so he... he got COVID and he just actually thought that he was a little tired, thought he had allergies, was having a hard time breathing a little bit, probably contributed to his lungs from having lung damage from the smoke
SPEAKER_00:inhalation.
SPEAKER_01:Not knowing he had COVID and being Adam, He never missed, he missed probably a day and a half and 11 years of work. He's dedicated. Yes. Well, he loved what he did. He was very passionate about. the community and being involved with the community and the laws and all of the things. He just really loved it. Being that he did a swap training the first of July where they go out and they run stadium stairs and do all the things with 80 pounds of gear on. And so he inhaled sweat, which caused COVID pneumonia. He got really sick, started sleeping a lot, started not to be able to breathe very well. We tested him for COVID. He decided he needed to go to the ER. And so he went to the ER, got diagnosed with COVID pneumonia, and they sent him home with steroid. And that's it, no oxygen. I think the protocol is to send them home with oxygen. He didn't get the oxygen. He just got a steroid, and he got progressively worse between Tuesday night and Thursday. And then I took him into the hospital. They got him right in and took him directly to the ICU where he was. He was placed on bed rest for a couple days. They just monitored his vitals and he just progressively got worse. A couple days later, the doctor came to me and was like, his lungs are filling up. He's having a hard time breathing. And if we don't put him on a ventilator, his organs will essentially start to fail and he'll go into cardiac arrest. And so we need to give his body enough oxygen rest and help to hopefully allow his body to heal and um they assured us that you know it wasn't the same as getting on a ventilator at the first of the pandemic because now that they have more information a lot of people get off of the vents what they try to do is they sedate you you put you on your ventilator and then they wake you up so you're awake on the ventilator instead of trying to keep you in a coma. And so we woke up Adam. He had been sleeping for 22 hours every day since he had been in the ICU. He just did not have any energy to be awake. There was very little conversations since he had been admitted. And so we woke him up and we talked about putting him on a ventilator. And he was like, I prefer not to be, but if that is what I need, then I will allow it. We made the decision to put him on a ventilator. It happened really fast. He's a big dude. He was a very big dude, 240, very, very stout. And so I think that they miscalculated his sedation to, put in the vent, and so he fought it quite hard, which was probably one of the hardest situations I've ever, ever been in, to watch this strong man just be helpless. and struggle against being vented. For a long, long time, struggled with that decision of venting him and seeing him go through that was awful.
SPEAKER_00:I'd imagine, yeah. It was
SPEAKER_01:awful. I don't know if you've ever seen movies where people go through something traumatic and you just, you see them run to the bathroom because they just cannot contain... whatever's in their stomach because it's just so overwhelming. I sat there and held his hand and watched him cry and told him it was going to be okay. And I ran out of that room, tore off all of the gear that they put you on, and ran to that bathroom and just sat there on the bathroom floor and just cried. Part of me, I think part of me knew that that was the beginning of the end. And then the next day, he bit through his tube and pulled it out. They did code blue to his room. Because when you pull out the ventilator, he's not breathing. And so they had to put it back in, and he fought it again, and they punctured his lung. And then they had to put a tube in his side to relieve the pressure to be able to inflate his lung. And the whole time we were, you know, pretty positive. We were hopeful that he would just be able to let his body recover. But he went in on a Thursday and then I went in, I had contracted COVID and wasn't able to go into the hospital for a few days. And the day I came back, The doctor pulled me aside and said that his kidneys had been filling and that we could just prolong it and then he would go into cardiac arrest and have a violent death, although they kept him sedated the whole time. They never were able to wake him up. He said we can prolong and that eventually would go into cardiac arrest or we could let him go peacefully with everybody around us. in that moment to make the decision to let him go incredibly hard I can't even fathom it we talked we went to lunch and we talked a little bit about losing a spouse and how everyone's gone through grief but will you touch on what you had said about losing a spouse and kind of the the process that you have to go through after that because there's so much involved in your life Losing a spouse is probably the hardest thing that anybody would go through. You become just so integrated with each other. They become part of you. But the way you eat and shower and have conversations and raise the kids and fix dinner and deal with your car or things at work or TV shows you watch or don't watch or, you know, down to the very nitty gritty, all involves your spouse. And so when your spouse dies, it's literally like being ripped in half. because when you're married for 20 years, your personalities, essentially you grow into each other. You kind of start acting like him, and you start acting like, you know, I start acting like him, and he started acting like me a little bit, and you kind of just become this one unit, right? And so it's... It feels so surreal. After that, his death and stuff was very public. And so it was like watching myself walk through this whole thing. Like I wasn't even my body. You're just so encompassed with grief and you just can't believe it's happening. You know, like I couldn't even... make the simplest decisions about his funeral. I mean, I had my mom and sister and mother-in-law and everybody just helping make those decisions because I physically could not. I was so numb, filled with despair, that I think my whole self just shut down. And I just, I couldn't function. You were in survival mode. Yeah. You were just surviving. I would just walk. Yeah. Yeah. So incredibly hard. And we talked about sometimes a lot of people, I know I'm guilty of it. You're probably guilty of it. We all are in our ignorance when we don't, you know, when we don't, we don't know what we don't know. But people sometimes would say to you, you're so strong. I don't know how you're doing this. How are you, like, how are you getting through this? Like, you're amazing. Oh, man. I would say, you know, you don't know your strength until you have to go through something like this. It wasn't my choice, you know. You have no choice but to go through it and be strong. You have two choices when something like this happens. Tragedy, trauma, any kind of thing, you have two choices. You can go one way and you can wallow and you can let go grief consume you everything that this isn't fair life isn't fair this happened to me kind of attitude where you just get sucked down into this black hole and never recover from it a lot of people that that go through something like this that just let that grief encompass them and encroach in their life um And when you're in that space, it's hard to see anything good and to see any light or any blessings that may be coming your way. Or you have a choice to fill it and find good in things that are happening, find beauty in the world you're living in. I'm just not one of those people that... likes to be sad yeah it's just not in my dna um and so i made a choice to learn and to grow and to try to seek out the positive and the blessings that in this horrible tragedy that was coming my way um I was dealing with losing my spouse, my person, but I also was being blessed with people coming to serve me and bringing me meals and a lot of blessings and a lot of miracles that have happened. And being able to focus on those things, I just made that choice to do that. And because I've done that, I'm able to... take that information and learn and um pass all that information to other people you know and and to affect their lives for good and to help them go through their grief it's probably something you just you can't help someone through grief as effectively unless you've done it so i think what a gift you're giving to people i mean this isn't something you wanted this isn't something you asked for it's something i would never hope that anyone would have to go through but I love that you're sharing what you're learning to help people who are walking through it, but then also people like me who are, all I want to do is give you a hug. I just want to comfort you, but I don't know what to do. So I think when you're vulnerable about your grief, you can help people also know how to help you or help other people walking through grief. Yeah, I think one of the things that gave me... the most confidence in walking through grief is I have a best friend that is a life coach. And at the very beginning of my grief, man, it's so taboo to cry. You don't want to make people feel uncomfortable. You want to feel strong and capable to go through this trial that you're going through, especially in the public eye. I wanted to I feel like I was handling myself well and carrying myself well. But the one thing that she said is she gave me permission to grieve. And when I say she gave me a permission, I was really just trying to keep my crap together. And she was like, Bobby, if Adam was here and you were on a date, you were out in public on that date. And he put his arm around you. Would you pull away? And I was like, no. You know, if he grabbed your hand or kissed you in public, would you pull away? Well, no, I wouldn't. Why? Because he's showing me he loves me. That's, you know, that's affection. He's showing me and showing the world that we are in love and that... our love matters. And so she's like, when you're in a grocery store or in a public place and you get triggered and feel like you need to cry, those tears are a physical manifestation of the love that you had for Adam. the only physical manifestation that you have a physical thing that you have that can show the world that he mattered you can't touch him anymore you can't touch him anymore but those tears and she's like you would never be ashamed to show that love if Adam was here so you should never be ashamed of showing that in any circumstances, in front of your friends, in front of your family, in the middle of the grocery store, on the floor, if you're having a meltdown, because he mattered. And that's the only way that you're able to show that love, is through those tears. I think that's a beautiful piece of advice and something that I had never thought of in that way. And I'm so glad that you have a friend like that, that is smart enough to like, you know, give that insight to you. And like, and you know, like you said, the permission, you didn't need permission, but just the, it's okay, Bobby, like you can feel this. You know, I didn't think I needed the permission. I, I, I mean, who needs permission to grieve,
SPEAKER_00:right?
SPEAKER_01:But just having her say, it's okay. It's okay to cry. It's okay to grieve. And getting me that permission was everything, actually. There's a quote that I saw that says, grief is love with no place to go. And so when there's no place for that love to go, it comes down your face. And I think that that's so powerful. That is. It's so true. Yeah. Do you have any advice for somebody who's helping someone walk through grief? Yeah, well, oh man, that's a loaded question because it's really, really, really difficult to help someone go through it because it's an individual journey. All I can say is that grief is uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable for the person going through it. It's uncomfortable for... the people around you to watch you go through it. In fact, it's easier for those people to not. We as humans are conditioned to do the easy thing and not to sit in the uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. It sucks. And to sit there and watch a loved one go through that sucks even harder because you can't fix it. There's nothing you can do to fix their grief or to help them go through it because they have to walk that path. And so I think some advice I would give is to be secure enough to sit there. and give them permission to cry and not have to fix it, just to hold their hand or give them a hug. And if they start to cry, not to change the subject, to be able to sit in that uncomfortable space with them and not make them feel like they need to be different or grieve differently or be stronger. Because there's one thing that connects us all as human beings, and that is love and that is grief. And we will all go through it. And it's just not talked about enough because it makes most people feel uncomfortable. And when you go through that, a lot of times you lose friends. They don't know how to handle it. They don't know how to talk to you anymore. They don't know how to fix it. And so they pull away. I've had friends pull away. I've had a sibling pull away. And then it triggers a whole other set of grief and another set of losses because it's difficult to sit in that space and watch your loved one go through it. I think another thing I would say is, A lot of people asked me, Bobby, what do you need? What can I do for you? Or please call me if you need anything for reals. I really want to help you. The problem is, is when you're in that space of numbness and grief and watching yourself walk through it, you don't know what you need in the next five minutes. you don't even know what you need in the next 30 seconds, let alone reach out to someone with good intentions saying, hey, this is what I need. I would say for anyone watching or helping someone to grieve it, to just show up. Show up and say, hey, I would like to take you to lunch. They could say no. But they also could say yes, and that's easier than reaching out and saying, hey, I need someone. Because, let's be honest, we don't do that normally. I mean, I don't do that normally. I think most people don't. I mean, I have a handful of people that I trust if I'm in that space to reach out to, and I have to be in a dire situation. to be able to have to do that. If not, I will fix it myself. But it was those people that just showed up to clean my house, to just sit in my house so I didn't feel alone, to call me up and just do instead of asking me what I need because I didn't know. So just, I would say to just show up to just be there, to be able to sit in the uncomfortable, to take them to lunch and then not forget after a month or two or three that their life never went back to normal and that they're gonna struggle and go through this grief cycles for a long time. Their life will never be the same. Yours goes back to normal. but theirs won't ever go back to normal. And then I would say the one thing that I needed going through my grief was for people to keep Adam in the conversation. I needed for people to be like, man, I was doing this the other day and Adam would have loved this. Or I was doing this the other day and I remembered, this funny thing Adam did, or just saying his name and keeping him in conversation keeps him alive for us. It allows us to know that he lived and is going to live on in people's memories and people's hearts and that people aren't forgetting about him because you haven't. You know, you haven't forgotten about that person. And I think people just, they walk on eggshells around people that are grieving, like I said, because it's uncomfortable. And they don't want to see you cry. And so they don't mention their name. They just don't even bring them up. They avoid. They're avoidant. They, instead of... bringing them up in conversation they they will either not engage with you or they'll change the subject because they don't want to they don't want to be in that uncomfortable space with you and so you end up actually a lot of the time comforting other people if you start to cry or if if you feel like you made them feel uncomfortable, you actually end up being like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, when you're the one who lost the husband. Yeah, I did that many, many times. Comforting those that felt like they were uncomfortable. Yeah. Well, and you need somebody to talk to about the good that Adam brought into your life. So I think that talking about him like it's it's probably like a must to get through the grief process it is it is and you don't um get that a lot actually yeah it's very rare for people to come and be like hey i was listening to this song and it reminded me of adam and i hope you're doing okay i did get a few of those and it just made my heart smile because I knew his memory was living on in it and his life mattered to other people and they weren't forgetting, you know. Can you tell me a couple of things you loved about Adam? He was super, super analytical. We were so opposite. I'm very optimistic and crazy and loud and, um, social and he was very like analytical and logical and like a wallflower you
SPEAKER_00:know
SPEAKER_01:but there were times that he was goofy and he would like allow himself to show that side and those were some of my most favorite he he had such a fun personality when he allowed himself to be there. One of his favorite things was to make our kids feel uncomfortable at any point. Like any dad, right? That's what dads do. Yeah, he loved your mama jokes. And if there was any naked talk whatsoever to see the kids squirm, he would take every opportunity to make them feel uncomfortable. Adam was a super loyal person. He really did love his job, and he loved me fiercely. Fiercely loved me. I have always known, even in our hard times, that he loved me hard. I've always loved and admired that about him because I knew that he wasn't going anywhere. He was your person. He was my person, yeah. How old were your kids when Adam passed away? Hannah had just graduated high school. She was 18. Maddie was 16. She just turned 16 in May. And then Jackson was 13, I think. We've been turning 14. He turns 15 this year, so yeah. 13. So how I can't going through your own grief and then having the confidence to help your kids walk through the grief, which, like you said, everyone's grief process is different. And so how well how everyone's going to need support is going to maybe be a little bit different. How did you have the confidence to help your kids walk through their own grief while you're going through your own? Well, first off, I wasn't shy about my grief. I wasn't putting I didn't put on a brave face for my kids. They saw the ugly, and I allowed that. They saw me not getting out of bed for days. And I think because I allowed myself to sit in that space, and I allowed myself to grieve when I needed to grieve. picked myself up when I needed to pick myself up to move forward, gave them the confidence to do the same. They didn't feel like they had to be brave for me. They didn't have to be strong for me because we kept him alive in our house. And I made sure they knew it was okay to cry. It was okay to grieve their dad. It was okay, and I think because I created that environment for them, it allowed them to feel comfortable to come to me and keep that conversation open or tell me that they were missing Dad and to come cry so I could hold them and we could talk about them. Therapy helped. Yes. Putting them through therapy helped. There's a lot of things that Adam's going to miss. There's a lot of things that my kids are going to miss him at. Graduations, weddings, having babies, being able to fix their relationship with their dad, and to... have him get to know them as adults and to be able to cultivate that relationship and fix that relationship that they really didn't have when they were little. And so you grieve all of those parts and it's okay for them to grieve those parts. I grieve those parts. So I think that just creating an environment for them to feel safe enough to grieve when they need to feel... like they need to grieve, is probably how we all got through it. Yeah. And it helped you, too, because you had your safe place, too. You didn't have to be brave in front of your kids, and your home was your safe place. Yeah. And I talked to my kids about the tears and the love that their tears were, that was for their dad. Their tears were their physical manifestation of their love for their dad. And it was okay for them to cry and it was okay for them to miss him. And it was okay for them to be angry and mad. You know, there's a lot of things that people assume, you know, you could have these five stages of grief and people assume that you, you go through these five stages of grief and then you're done. You're just like one, two, three, four, five check done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're just, you're, you know, when you haven't gone through it you think that okay well um i'm gonna go through these five stages and then i'll feel better but in reality there's no five stages you go through all those but you can go through all those in one hour and you can go through you can go through them in in 10 minutes you know i get to a point where i'm so angry and not necessarily Adam, but that I'm going through this by myself, that I'm raising these kids by myself. And I'm angry about that. I'm mad that I'm doing that. I'm mad that I'm starting over and have to figure out who I am without my husband. And that's okay. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to have all those emotions and to tell my kids that it's okay to be mad and to be angry or to be sad or to miss dad, or even giving them permission to be happy on the days they feel happy so they don't feel like they're guilty for feeling happiness without their dad, you know? Just giving them permission to fill all the fills, I think, went a long way for them to, and, you know, being confident in my grief When I'm doing good, they're usually doing pretty good. I mean, there's moments where they have their own grief or they have their own moments that they're feeling the loss of their dad. But for the most part, if mom's doing good, kids are doing good. But there's an assumption that you just... You go through this grief and then it's done, but actually what happens is that you grow around it. Because grief is love, and the love is never going to go away. The love for Adam is never going to go away. I'll always love Adam. He'll always be a part of our life. Even though he's not there during the weddings and during the babies and during the graduations and during all those big milestones, he'll still be there and will still grieve. But what happens is that you learn to move forward and to grow around that grief. And it feels lighter because... you're growing with it. The grief is coming with you. Yeah, you're not gonna leave the grief behind. Yeah, you just build upon that grief. It becomes a part of you. And so as you move forward in your life, it grows around you. And so you just learn how to carry it better. You just learn how to deal with those emotions better. And you learn how to help people to go through the same thing. Yeah. You know? thank you for sharing your story um adam was i knew him briefly and not you know not super intimately but he he was a wonderful wonderful guy and yeah he was yeah he and i when you say he was loyal like i could see that like just in my brief interactions with him like yes and he loved you he did he had that look in his eyes when he looked at you you just knew he loved you you can see it in the pictures you know you know yes i yeah and to this day i i still feel Yeah. Well, thank you. I like to end all of my interviews with one thing that you do every day for your confidence. It doesn't need to be related to anything that we've just talked about. Just something that you do every day to help you feel confident. What do you do? Oh man, there's so many things I do every day. I really try to make someone smile every day.
SPEAKER_00:And you're good at that.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like when I make someone else smile or give them a compliment, it actually in turn does more for me. than it does for them. And to change someone's day or hour or minute in their life that could be going wrong or them feeling down about themselves and to see them smile and be like, oh, thank you. It does so much more for your confidence, I think, than it does for them. And then I probably would say I always... and I wouldn't say every day, but to do something for your own self-care. To be selfish sometimes. Whether that is taking an hour to watch your favorite TV show or turning on music and dancing around the house, going to work out, getting ready for the day, going to get a massage. Something that makes you feel whole and taking that time and being selfish and taking just that sliver of time away from everybody else, I think that that is what is the key to the confidence. I think it's so easy to lose yourself in being a mom, in being a wife. in being a friend, in being, serving in your church capacity or in your community or in your job, that it's just, it's easy to lose yourself in that. And I think... Just taking a moment in your day to be selfish and to do self-care, I think, is probably the biggest key. That's really good. Of keeping confidence. Yeah. You can't know who you are if you don't spend time with yourself. You're right. So take care of yourself. Well, thank you, Bobbi. I just love you, and this was really good. Thanks. Okay, thank you. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at Confidently Beautiful Podcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay confidently beautiful.