Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
How Motherhood Shapes Confidence
Have you ever wondered how motherhood could transform your confidence? Join me, Ciera, as I share my personal journey on "Confidently Beautiful." This heartfelt episode dives into the profound ways becoming a mother has refined my self-assurance, turning everyday challenges into incredible growth opportunities. From pre-motherhood struggles with body image and social acceptance to finding a healthy balance between body acceptance and personal goals, we uncover the significant role confidence plays in motherhood and its ripple effect on our children's lives.
Reflect with me on the physical and emotional changes that accompany motherhood. We'll tackle the common struggles of body image post-childbirth, the feeling of being overwhelmed, and the adjustment to new social interactions. Celebrate those small yet significant parenting wins, such as running half marathons and the triumph of unmedicated childbirth. Through these shared experiences, I emphasize how our perception of failure often pales in comparison to the magical moments our children remember. This episode aims to inspire and support mothers in recognizing the strength and resilience that motherhood instills, leading to a more joyful and fulfilling journey for both themselves and their families. Tune in for an empowering conversation that celebrates the true essence of confident motherhood.
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you're listening to, confidently beautiful with C a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful, because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out and I'm here to show you how body image, dreams, parenting, style, personality and more here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. Thank you so much for tuning in to the podcast today. I am Sierra, your host, and I am so excited to be here talking today. It has been a while since I have done a podcast episode. I had a baby. He has grown up and is now an eight-month-old and it is just crazy to me how fast time goes with our kids and how quickly they grow. But I am so happy to be here. So, if you are a new listener, thank you for joining us. Here we talk about motherhood, confidence, beauty, all things that just make us happier, better people, feeling more confident and bring some more joy to our lives. I focus specifically on mothers, as I am a mother myself and trying to bring the joy into the motherhood experience and still feeling like we are confident in who we are along the way. Today we are going to be talking about how motherhood has shaped my confidence, how it can shape your confidence. Motherhood refines us. We're constantly learning, we're constantly growing. We're constantly becoming the worst versions of ourselves, or the best version of ourselves, or maybe somewhere in between. Why does confidence in motherhood matter? If you are not confident, you cannot be the mother to your children that I know we all want to be. I had a podcast episode from the past where I talk about the ripple effect. I will link it in the show notes. But confidence in your motherhood is so important because if you are a confident person, your kids will become more confident people. You will grow them and help mold them into strong, confident, amazing humans, which is exactly what we want for our kids. So the more confident you are then, the more fun you're going to have as a mom, because you're not going to be questioning things, the more your kids are going to get that confidence rubbed off onto them and the happier you're going to be. We want joy, we want to feel fulfilled, and so that is why I feel like being a confident mother is so important.
Ciera:My confidence before motherhood was very different than my confidence now. I was on a journey before becoming a mother to try and make friends and get confident to be outside of my bubble, I think clear back into middle school and high school where you know you just want to fit in, you just want to have a good group of friends and so finding that confidence to just be yourself, but also like you're still trying to figure out who you are during that stage in life. Right, I think of myself back back then and how I. That was a constant struggle for me. A confident confidence struggle that I always had was just always wanting to fit in, always wanting people to like me. I still struggle with that today, as mom in my 30s. I still I want people to like me. I want I want to be accepted, and sometimes that can be really damaging to confidence. So that has been like a journey that I have been on for a really long time, pre-baby after baby.
Ciera:There's also the body acceptance. I think back to when I was in college and I was just like doing these workouts and like, oh, like, if I could just like doing these workouts and like, like, if I could just get this flat and toned stomach, like then I'll feel so good about myself. And I think that that is so much that the world puts on us is just having like this, this body image that could be really damaging, I mean, especially to a young college or high school-aged girl like I was and I think about that a lot before becoming a mother. And now I'm like almost like kicking myself, like why did I not just appreciate my body for what it was and the things that it was able to do? Because my body now, after babies, is so different Even just aging, like my body, is just so different. And so I think there's like a healthy, happy balance between accepting your body like where it is right then and being grateful for it, but also like it's okay to have goals and it's okay to want to try and become your version or your idea of a better version of yourself, for for body or for anything in your life.
Ciera:Confident in my relationships and learning who I was outside of my childhood home, that was something that I definitely was trying to get more confident in as I was out of high school and I moved into an apartment with some friends and then getting married and being with your new husband and trying to figure out how to be married, for one thing, but then also figuring out a little bit more of like who are you away from your parents, who are you away from your home where you grew up. There are a lot of social expectations or pressures that we can feel. I kind of touched on it with the body acceptance. I mean there's a lot of things that like you think you need to look beautiful and you need to look all put together, you need to have like a certain body type. I remember thinking so many times sometimes I even still fall into this trap, but so many times like, oh, if I just buy all the expensive clothes, if I buy like the newest, trendiest, hottest hair item or I spend this much time getting ready every day, then I will feel pretty, then I will feel like I am confident and I am enough. I remember feeling that a lot, especially in my younger years, and I think that that is a misconception that the world can put on us as like feeling like you have to like look a certain way or feel a certain way to be confident.
Ciera:I think there's also a really, really big thing with perfectionism versus confidence. That is something that I have learned as being a mother is you do not have to be perfect to be confident. I talk about confidence all the time and I am so so far from perfect. I like to say that I'm a confident person, but it's something that I'm constantly striving at and there's areas of my life that I'm not so confident at, but I'm always trying to get better. But it doesn't mean I have to be perfect. I don't have to be perfect at it. I posted a reel about this on my Instagram. If you want to go, follow me confidently beautiful podcast. You can find me there and I talked about this, um, perfectionism versus confidence and how, like confident people, they do struggle. Confident people have fears, they have doubts, they have worries and they are not perfect. They are so far from perfect. But so I think back to my early days of motherhood.
Ciera:I think back to the very one of the very first memories I have with confidence in being a mother is the day after I gave birth to my daughter. I was in the bathroom in the hospital and I remember I was changing out of my gown and changing into some comfier clothes and I just looked in the mirror and I was 100% shocked at the way my stomach looked. I don't I mean, I don't know what I expected, but I was like, wow, my stomach is so ugly. And I remember feeling that and being so embarrassed and like how am I ever going to like let people be see me like without like my stomach covered, let alone with a shirt on like it just did not look the same. I looked pregnant but I wasn't pregnant and it was so squishy and I was just 100% shocked. I don't know what I was thinking it was going to be like, but it was a shocking thing and that was like a really, really big thing for me After having my daughter was to try and accept this new body that I had.
Ciera:It's become a lot easier. The more and more kids I've had, the more and more I've seen the amazing things that my body can do. I've come to appreciate it more and more. It doesn't mean that I don't I'm not like I love my squishy belly, I love it so much. No, I mean I definitely want things to change, but I can be more confident in knowing like yeah, I have, I have birthed four children Like my body is going to change. There are other parts of my body that do not look the same as they did before I had kids, and so I think just to let go of that has been a really big challenge with getting my confidence, feeling like unsure that I know what to do.
Ciera:I remember sitting on my daughter's floor in the middle of the night. She had been screaming for hours and I just cried and I just did not know what to do. I just was so unsure. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, if I was helping her, and I felt so bad for her because she's just screaming. But I'm also at my wits end Like how am I supposed to get any sleep? How am I like? This is my life. And it was such a hard, hard feeling. And there are so many moments and challenges with confidence and not knowing if you're doing the right thing for your kids.
Ciera:And then I also remember in those early days of motherhood, socially, like trying to make mom friends and feeling like I don't know how to talk to adults anymore. I am just with a child all day long. I'm with a baby, I'm with a toddler and feeling that part of my where I felt like I actually was pretty confident before having kids. I was confident in talking to people. I had a lot of friends. We constantly were having parties, we were having people over, we were going out and doing things with friends and then when I had a baby, it was almost like, oh, wow, I don't know how to talk to adults anymore, and that has been a challenge, some unexpected things that happen when you become a mom. I remember, like when some friends would come to me for like motherhood advice and I was like, oh, it was like a pat on the back, like I actually feel like I'm actually a good enough mom that I can give advice and I actually know, like this is what worked for me. I mean, it doesn't mean it's going to work for you, but this is what worked for me. That could be like a really good moment of like feeling confident.
Ciera:Feeling those small wins with your kids is like that's a huge confident booster for me. Feeling like okay. So like if something goes terribly wrong, like something goes so wrong in motherhood and I completely fail, but then, like the next time, I totally rock it. Like think of's been so many times I can't even count when I have like taken the kids out somewhere and there's been like a total meltdown and it's the worst day of their life and you're the worst mom ever and you know it's terrible, right, but then you do it again the next time and you actually like succeed and you're like, yeah, like I rocked this or maybe they are having like that total meltdown and you actually are able to use all your parenting hacks and tricks that you have and you feel like it was a success. You were able to connect with your child and you were able to help them to manage their emotions or to learn to grow. Like. Those things are really big confidence boosters.
Ciera:I feel like I know when I ran a half marathon, it was after my let's see, I've I've done two half marathons. One of them was after my second baby and one of them was after my third baby and I remember that I could not even run a mile before I had kids. And remember back when I said that like my body has changed a lot since having kids Well, my body looks a lot different now than it did when I couldn't even run a mile and like maybe you would look at it and say, yeah, you can't, you can't run, like, do you see? Do you see what your body looks like, whereas my body before kids? You're like, yeah, you could totally run a half marathon, but in reality, like no, my body was not conditioned and wasn't trained and I could not even run a mile before having kids. But now, after having kids, I have run two half marathons and I think that, like I have to constantly remind myself of, like, my body is so strong and it may not look the way that the world standards say that it should look, but it is so strong, it can do so many things and that can help me be more confident with my body. I have also delivered two babies unmedicated. That's just another example. I mean you. I think birth is incredible, no matter how you give birth, and I think C-section moms are warriors, really truly. But for me, that feeling of I don't know if I can do this and then to do it and I've done it twice Like that to me is such a huge confidence booster.
Ciera:I remember on social media and I wish I could remember exactly where I saw it, but I remember seeing a video where there was a mom and she was just feeling like she was failing her kids all day long. They were yelling, they were not wanting to leave the places, the dinner got burnt, she forgot to bring something. I can't remember everything that happened in the clip, but it was just one of those days as a mom that you're just like is it bedtime, yet this is so hard, I'm failing completely. And then she overheard her daughter telling her dad about their perfect day and all of the magical things that they got to do, and the little girl was just saying like all the things that made her so happy and like that she got to do, like all these things that the mom perceived as failures, but to her daughter they were like the things that made the day the best day ever. I think that that clip is a really good reminder of how, moments where we feel like we are failing, we maybe actually are not failing as much as we think we are and maybe we need to just be confident in what we are trying to do and know that we are doing our best. Because, again, confidence is not perfection. It's just trying and accepting you where you are and being grateful for the things that you can do.
Ciera:Motherhood has reshaped my view of confidence. It's not just about appearance or career or successes. It's about the whole experience. Being confident as a mom is being patient and nurturing, leading my kids by example. I can teach my kids that taking care of my body is helping me to feel more confident. I can acknowledge my emotions when I am having a positive or a negative emotion. I can reach for my goals and my dreams and if I fail, I can keep trying and I can try again. I can talk about all the good things about myself. There are always going to be things that we don't like about ourselves, but we can talk about the good things about ourselves and say them out loud. And we are always building our kids up and we're saying the good in them. But why not, why not about ourselves too? And let's be that example to them of talking about the good things about ourselves. I'm going to try really hard to start approaching all of my challenges with more of a sense of purpose and, um, I let that. I let those challenges kind of fuel my confidence. We're not going to. Our confidence isn't going to grow if we don't have challenges. Our confidence isn't going to grow if we have the opportunity to try and be better. If we never have that opportunity to try and be better, we're not going to feel more confident. We're just going to stay where we are.
Ciera:I think we can also try and remember that our identity as a mom. It can help play a key role in our confidence who we are as mothers and who we are trying to be and the best version of ourselves can play a really big role in how we feel about ourselves, our bodies, our goals, our dreams, our homes so many different areas in our life. I did a poll on Instagram and I asked people what makes them feel the most confident as a mother, and I asked people what makes them feel the most confident as a mother. Trusting your instincts, letting go of expectations or self-care Like those, were the three choices. 50% of people said that trusting their instincts helped them feel more confident as a mom. I think that this is such an important thing. So many times. We are just constantly second guessing ourselves and wondering if we're doing the right thing, and I think that that is a really, really good tip to try and just remember to be confident in who you are as a mom.
Ciera:The second one 40% of people who voted said let go of expectations helps them to be more confident as a mom. For me, this is my personal one. I have really had to work at just going with the flow and knowing that I may be walking into a situation hoping that it goes a certain way, but it might be the complete opposite of what I'm hoping for, and that's okay, just to let go of the expectations. So then when it does succeed, then you're like wow, that was, that was amazing, like it was so much fun, and you're and you're just so happy with it. But then if it also fails, or if it goes not the way that you really wanted it to, then you already went into it with the lower expectations of like this might not work and it's okay. That just makes me feel so much more confident in every situation that I feel like I am in and also gives me a little bit more grace to myself.
Ciera:And the third one was self-care. 10% of people who voted said that this was how they feel more confident as a mom. I think that this is a huge important part of being a person in general, but also a mom is you can't. You can't take care of other people if you're not taking care of yourself. Self-care is a really, really important part. So those are three tips that you can take and hopefully you can take those, and I want you to just really try and acknowledge your growth this week. What are the small wins that you're having? What are some areas in your life that you're feeling like a little bit more confident, just a little bit more than you were yesterday?
Ciera:Every mom's journey is unique. The confidence that we all find through motherhood is universal. Though Confidence is a universal thing, it's everyone wants to feel confident, no matter what our motherhood journey looks like. Motherhood will forever be one of the most powerful forces that has helped in shaping my confidence. It's the hardest, most rewarding thing that I have ever done and probably will ever do in my entire life. And I know that I am not the. I would not be the person that I am or have the confidence that I have without being a mom.
Ciera:Think about your experiences.
Ciera:I'd love to hear your experiences. So if you have stories of confidence in motherhood like, please share them with me. Have stories of confidence in motherhood like please share them with me, send me a DM, share them on social media and tag me. I would love to hear all of the stories, and I know personally for me, when I hear stories of moms feeling confident, it inspires me and makes me want to be better, and I think that we can learn from each other, rather than looking at another mom and being like oh, they are so much more confident in this area than I am. I wish I was like this there's so much better at this than I am. Let's not look at it that way. Let's look at it as more like wow, they have come a long way in their motherhood journey and they are feeling confident in this area. What can I learn from them? And use it to lift each other up and to inspire each other.
Ciera:Thank you so much for listening and tuning in. I am really excited to be back doing regular podcast episodes. They will air every Tuesday and I cannot wait to continue this journey, talking about motherhood and beauty and confidence and helping myself to feel more empowered in who I am as a person, and I want you to hopefully feel the same. So, if you enjoyed this episode, I would love it if you shared it with a mom friend that you feel like could use a little confidence boost or just a reminder that they're doing an awesome job, because you really are doing amazing. So thank you for tuning in and I will talk to you next week. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram @ confidently beautiful podcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay confidently beautiful.