Hard vs. Uncomfortable: Strategies for Personal Growth & Resilience

What if you could transform every uncomfortable experience into a stepping stone for growth? On Confidently Beautiful with Ciera, we unravel the crucial difference between what is genuinely hard and what is simply uncomfortable. From conquering new workout challenges to hosting social gatherings that push you beyond your comfort zone, understanding this distinction can drastically change how you approach life's hurdles, building both confidence and resilience. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we explore how embracing discomfort can catalyze personal transformation, empowering you to become a more self-assured and resilient individual.

I open up about my own journey through a medical emergency with my newborn, sharing the emotional highs and lows and the strategy of taking small, manageable steps. By distinguishing between the truly hard and the merely uncomfortable, we discuss how to transform the daunting into the doable. This conversation is a beacon of encouragement and support, offering strategies for personal growth and bolstering self-confidence for parents navigating similar trials.

1. Introduction

Have you ever felt like some goals or dreams are just too hard? Maybe you wonder if motherhood, marriage, or self-care just isn’t meant to feel this challenging?

• Brief Overview: Introduce the concept of “hard” versus “uncomfortable.” 

2. The Difference Between Hard and Uncomfortable 

• “Hard” refers to something that’s almost impossible to accomplish due to limitations, like physical barriers or major life constraints.
• “Uncomfortable” refers to things that push us out of our comfort zones but are achievable and lead to growth.

3. Why Discomfort is Essential for Growth 

• When we’re uncomfortable, we’re forced to grow and adapt. It’s in these moments that confidence is built.

4. Steps to Embrace Discomfort 

• Step 1: Recognize When It’s Just Discomfort
   
  • Pause and identify if something is “hard” or “uncomfortable.”
  • Tip: Ask yourself if this is truly impossible or just something you haven’t done before. 
  • Example: Half marathon training 
• Step 2: Reframe Discomfort as Positive
   
• Step 3: Set Small, Doable Challenges
   
• Step 4: Celebrate Small Wins
   

5. Real-Life Stories of Embracing Discomfort 

Uncomfortable: Pushing Outside Comfort Zones

1. Starting a Fitness Routine
2. Taking Time for Self-Care
3. Asserting Boundaries
4. Trying New Approaches in Parenting
5. Getting Socially Involved

Genuinely Hard: Limiting Factors Beyond Control

1. Parenting During a Serious Health Crisis
2. Severe Financial Hardships
3. Caring for a Family

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Chapters

• 0:03 Distinguishing Between Hard and Uncomfortable
• 11:31 Navigating Through Hard and Uncomfortable

Transcript

Ciera: 0:03

You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera, a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful, because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out and I'm here to show you how Body image, dreams, parenting style, personality and more here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. Ready to stay confidently beautiful. Welcome to today's podcast. I am so happy that you are here and tuning in and I cannot wait to dive into another awesome episode. This podcast is just it's definitely one of the highlights for me to record. I love sitting down and planning out an episode. Having ideas randomly pop into my head while I'm in the shower or driving kids around or doing whatever, and then to actually sit down and record an episode is so much fun, and I am so excited because I have a episode that I have been planning and working out with some people and we are going to hear from some amazing, amazing women, and I am so excited for you to hear that episode. If all goes as planned, it will air the end of November, so be watching for that one, because it is one that is going to inspire you and help you want to be a better mom and person and dream chaser and everything, and it is going to be so good. I am so excited.

Ciera: 1:13

Today I want to talk about the differences between something that's hard and something that is uncomfortable. Are you in something that's a hard season genuinely hard or something that is just uncomfortable? It doesn't mean the uncomfortable isn't hard. The uncomfortable can still be hard, but which one is it and how can we help distinguish that to help us feel more confident in how to navigate our way through a certain situation? So have you ever felt like some goals or dreams are just way too hard? Maybe you've felt like motherhood or marriage or just like taking care of myself or time for myself should not be this challenging. Why is it so challenging to go through this? Hard and uncomfortable are two very different things. Oftentimes, our goals and our dreams can feel really, really challenging, and it can sometimes be because they are genuinely impossible for us to do at that moment. Sometimes they can feel really, really challenging because they are just pushing us outside of our comfort zones. So I want to dive into some examples of how we can think of this in our motherhood, in our lives, in our marriages, in our personal growth journey, how we can think of this and help us to feel more confident in situations and help to us to feel more confident in situations. By the end of this episode, I hope that you will be able to distinguish between what is hard in your life, what is uncomfortable in your life, and how you can embrace that discomfort and help you to grow in your confidence and your resilience and to maybe take those hard, genuinely hard moments and accept the hard but then learn how to baby step it into a little bit more just uncomfortable moments to work your way through the hard, but then learn how to baby step it into a little bit more just uncomfortable moments to work your way through the hard.

Ciera: 2:48

Hard refers to something that is almost impossible to accomplish, like whether it's like a physical limitation, different barriers of life, barriers that are in the way, life constraints, time constraints, money constraints, like something that is just like this is genuinely hard to do. Uncomfortable refers to something that kind of pushes us outside of our comfort zones, but it's still achievable. It could still lead us to growth. It could still lead us to being a better person and to growing and becoming stronger. Some examples would be tackling a new workout routine, improving our physical confidence. This is something that's not. It's not impossible. It's not impossible to do, but it can be extremely uncomfortable.

Ciera: 3:35

I just went to a bar class for the first time.

Ciera: 3:38

Holy cow, that was hard.

Ciera: 3:42

But was it genuinely hard or was it uncomfortably hard For me?

Ciera: 3:48

It was uncomfortably hard. I was able to push myself through the class, but it was still physically challenging and even mentally challenging for me to push myself through that class. But it was only an hour and I could do it, even though it was extremely uncomfortable. I was very, very self-conscious and I was not feeling great about what my body was able to do. I had a lot of talks with myself during that class of reminding myself that it was okay.

Ciera: 4:17

This was my first really really physical, demanding thing since having a baby. This was the first thing I've done. All I've really done other than that is walking, some stretching, a little bit of core exercises, nothing strenuous like bar. Bar uses muscles that you usually don't use, and so it was genuinely hard for me. But was it hard? Hard Like I should just throw the towel and I'm done I'm not trying this again or was it just uncomfortably hard and for me it was just uncomfortably hard? So I think trying to get into that new workout routine. Try a new workout, try something new physically. That can be demanding, can be hard on us, but it's more of an uncomfortable hard. Trying a new way to connect with our spouse can to build a deeper marriage. That can sometimes feel uncomfortable. Right. That can sometimes lead to uncomfortable situations, uncomfortable conversations, uncomfortable working through things of your own.

Ciera: 5:14

Setting boundaries for certain social situations to prioritize your own well-being or your own relationship with your family that can sometimes be uncomfortable. We don't want to let our friends down. We don't want to have to say no to somebody. We don't want to miss out on some stuff, but setting those boundaries might be an uncomfortable thing that is required for us to do. Social gatherings to help deepen and build friendships can sometimes be uncomfortable.

Ciera: 5:38

I just had a favorite things party. I invited some friends that I have been friends with for years. It should not have been a stressful, overwhelming thing for me, but for some reason it was really like. As it got closer to the event, I was like my social anxiety was getting higher and higher. I was like why am I like so anxious about this? I did invite some people that I had never hung out with before. So I'm thinking that's probably where it was is. I was trying to strengthen these relationships with people that I just briefly know and I'm not super close with, and so I was probably having a lot of anxiety, thinking like they were going to come over to my home and they're people that I don't really talk to typically and I was feeling a lot of like are they going to even want to come, are they going to show up? And so I definitely brought a lot of uncomfortable feelings. But am I glad that I did it? Absolutely, I am so glad that I did it and it was uncomfortable, but I am glad that I pushed through that uncomfort.

Ciera: 6:38

When we're uncomfortable, we are forced to grow and adapt. In these moments that is when our confidence will grow. So for me, when I had that party and I pushed through it and I still went and I sent those text messages to those people that I don't really have super strong relationships with and I was afraid that they were going to say no or be like why is she inviting me to this party, I don't want to go, I still did it anyway and those uncomfortable moments helped my confidence to grow and so the next time I have a party, I'll feel a little bit more confident inviting that person. The next time I run into that person somewhere, I'll feel a little bit more confident in letting them know like hey, I'm trying to build this friendship here and I can feel a little bit more confident in our friendship.

Ciera: 7:17

An analogy that I think can be so relatable to any of us who have given birth is childbirth. It is an incredibly uncomfortable experience, no matter how you give birth, if you have a C-section, if you get an epidural, if you're doing a natural birth, no matter what you do, it's an uncomfortable experience for our physical body and for our mental well-being to have to go through all of that. But in the end it leads to one of life's greatest transformations. I will never be the Sierra that I was before I gave birth to my daughter. Childbirth is one of the most incredible, uncomfortable situations that can completely transform us.

Ciera: 7:53

When you're going through your life, just take a pause, identify is this something that is genuinely hard or is it something that is just uncomfortable that I can push through? If it's genuinely hard, acknowledge that and be okay with it. But how can we baby, step this into being something that's just uncomfortable and work our way through the hard. If it's something that's truly impossible to do, then how can we make it a little bit more achievable and just a little uncomfortable and not hard? Is it just something that you've never done before, like me when I went to the bar class, is it just something that I've never done? And I'm trying to figure out, like, how to do these different stretches and exercises and use these muscles that I have not used either before, ever or in a very, very long time when I trained for my half marathon. There is absolutely no way I could have just woken up in the morning and ran the half marathon. There is no way. That would have been too hard, genuinely too hard. But me running even just a mile, that was uncomfortable. It definitely was uncomfortably hard, but I could still do it. It wasn't impossible. So I had to just build on that.

Ciera: 9:14

A mantra that I like to think of is discomfort means I'm growing. If you don't do something that is challenging for you and uncomfortable, you will never grow. So you can just think of a mantra that you can say to yourself when you are in those uncomfortably hard situations Set small, doable challenges. So start with just five minute self care routine. If self care is something that you're wanting to work on, if you want to be able to take a step away from mothering, being a wife taking care of the household, all of your normal duties and you want to focus more on yourself, but that's really uncomfortable for you Like the thought of maybe you being going away for a weekend is absolutely like. I would never do that. If you're feeling that, then just take a little baby step, plan one intentional activity with your partner. If you're trying to deepen your marriage, just baby step and then celebrate all of those small wins. Even the smallest milestones on your journey of something uncomfortable is extremely beneficial.

Ciera: 10:14

Some other examples of some uncomfortable situations I've gone over a lot, but other ones that we can have as moms is setting up those boundaries, saying no to events or commitments that are going to drain you and make you uncomfortable around the people that you're with. Or maybe you just are like, nope, I have got to put my family first this time. New approaches to parenting, shifting our perspective, like if we were like I would like to be a calmer, more intentional parent. This can be an extremely uncomfortable thing if this does not come naturally to you, and so it can be sometimes hard, but it's uncomfortably hard. It's not impossible to do. It just requires a mindset change and it requires baby steps and giving yourself grace to know that you don't have to be perfect at it. Going to mom meetups or like the school PTO or PTA fundraiser that maybe is an uncomfortable situation for you, but putting yourself in the situations where you are around a supportive network of like-minded parents, that can be sometimes uncomfortable but it's not hard. It's not impossible to do Now some genuinely hard things that have limiting factors that are beyond our control. These are hard things If you are parenting during a serious health crisis, caring for a family member with special needs.

Ciera: 11:31

I have a couple mom friends who have children with special needs and I just look at them with so much admiration and awe. Needs, and I just look at them with so much admiration and awe. Maybe your spouse is deployed, maybe they work really odd hours, maybe you are both two passing shifts in the night, you're both working 12-hour shifts and you just take turns on who is at home. This can be a genuinely hard thing if you don't have a lot of support and overcoming any trauma or grief, if anything really traumatic has happened to you that was outside of your control. If you had somebody pass away, this is going to be genuinely a hard experience. So think of those experiences in your life which ones are genuinely hard, which ones are uncomfortable? And how can you take those genuinely hard moments and baby step them into something that's just a little bit uncomfortable? We'll take the overcoming like a traumatic event or grief.

Ciera: 12:25

For example, probably one of the most traumatic events for me as a mother is when my two week old baby was life flighted to primary children's. This was extremely traumatic. I was two weeks postpartum, so I was dealing with my own physical and mental recovery and then I found myself in an airplane with my two-week-old baby being life flighted to primary children's, where I then spent five days with him and my husband. For the first day or two was back at home with our other kids and then bouncing between the hospital and my brother-in-law's house trying to help me with the baby in the hospital, but then also with the kids. This was really, really traumatic. Even to this day he's three years later anytime he gets a cough, it is like rush of emotions coming back to me. The first time we went back up to Salt Lake after he had been in primary children's seeing those mountains. The second we got to the mountains, I had an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and grief coming over me. So this is something that was genuinely hard.

Ciera: 13:35

But how could I have baby stepped my way through? While we were in the hospital? All I could think to do was just look at the next moment, next rounds with the doctor, watch him for the next 30 minutes and see how he's reacting, how he's responding, hold him and love him. I could just take little, tiny baby steps. It was uncomfort, incredibly hard to see my little baby hooked up to as many things as he was. My mom was out of the country. My husband couldn't be with me all the time because we had other kids. It was extremely difficult. But I just had to baby step my way through and then, after, as I'm overcoming all that trauma and that grief, even three years later, when he gets one cough, I am so, so scared. I have to just babysit my way through the uncomfortable. How can you take your genuinely hard situations and baby step your way through them to make them just uncomfortable, but not genuinely hard?

Ciera: 14:36

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Ciera: 15:56

Let's get back to the episode. What is something in your life that has that you've been putting off because you're like, oh, it's just too hard, I can't do it. It's too hard. Is it genuinely too hard or is just uncomfortable? Because there are a lot of things in life that are genuinely hard but we can still make them doable, right, we can still work our way through them. Is it? Are we just using hard as an excuse, or is it genuinely hard? You are so not alone in this journey. This is something that moms are going to face every day. What's hard, what's uncomfortable? What's hard in parenting? What is just uncomfortable in parenting? What can I? What that is hard in my life? Can I make a little bit just uncomfortable and not genuinely and possibly hard? You are so not alone. There are so many moms around you and there are so many people facing similar challenges. So I just encourage you to look for the hard and the uncomfortable, try and distinguish between the two and try and just lean more into the uncomfortable. How can you grow as a person, in your confidence, in your love for yourself, in your growth journey as a human being?

Ciera: 17:00

Thank you so much for listening. Reminder to subscribe if you have not already subscribed to this podcast, it really helps and share this episode with somebody who you think could benefit from hearing this. I love more than anything to spread confidence and joy into the lives of mothers and I would love it if I could just grow my community of listeners and we could have more and more discussions about this and learn more and more from each other. So thank you for listening. Leave a review if you found this to be helpful. Subscribe and share this episode with somebody in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at confidently beautiful podcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use of just how amazing they already are. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram @ Confidently Beautiful Podcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay confidently beautiful.