Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
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Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
The Well Nourished Mama: How Food Fuels Mental Health & Confidence with Brooke Harmer
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The Well Nourished Mama Podcast
Ever wondered why you feel anxious by mid-afternoon despite doing "everything right" as a mom? The answer might be simpler than you think.
Brooke Harmer, founder of The Well-Nourished Mama, joins us to unpack the profound connection between what we eat and how we feel. With three children under four, Brooke understands firsthand the challenges mothers face in prioritizing their own wellbeing. She reveals startling insights about our brain chemistry – including that 90% of our serotonin is produced in our gut – and explains why breakfast might be the most important self-care act you can perform each day.
Beyond nutrition, Brooke offers a perspective shift that could transform your experience of motherhood. "You're not lost in motherhood," she explains. "You're lost in parenting." This distinction helps us recognize when we've disappeared into the tasks of caring for our children rather than nurturing our own experience as mothers. Her practical strategies – from scheduling yourself with the same commitment you give to your children's appointments, to understanding why your body holds onto weight as a protective mechanism – provide a roadmap to reclaiming your physical and mental wellbeing.
Whether you're struggling with postpartum body changes, afternoon energy crashes, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself, this conversation offers both validation and actionable steps forward. By understanding the biological mechanisms connecting nutrition to mental health, you'll gain tools to advocate for yourself in healthcare settings and take immediate steps toward feeling better.
Sign up for Ciera's newsletter at confidentlybeautifulwithciera.com to continue the conversation about living with confidence as a mother.
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you're listening to confidently beautiful with sierra a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful, because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out and I'm here to show you how body image, dreams, parenting style, personality and more here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. Brooke Harmer, I am so happy to have you here. You are with the Well-Nourished Mama and you talk a lot about holistic approaches to mental health and nutrition for moms in all stages of motherhood. I would love it if you could tell a little about you, your family and your business. Sure.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:I am a military wife, so shout out to all my military spouses out there doing our best. I have three kids under the age of four right now. So my oldest turns four next month, my middle child turns two in November and then my baby is four months old. So we're just like in the thick of diapers and naps and all the things over here. And I started the Well Nourished Mama because I was so frustrated with the lack of support for moms with just like the current resources that we have.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:It's not necessarily saying that we can't rely on our current health care system, but I think most people would agree that there are gaps and there are areas where we need kind of a different approach to make sure that we get the support that we need, and so I wanted to bridge that gap between mamas and their healthcare providers. A lot of moms want to be more engaged. They want to be able to ask questions, they want to be able to advocate for themselves, but they don't know what questions to ask. They don't know what their options are. They don't have enough of a knowledge to feel comfortable conversing with a doctor who went to medical school and knows all these big fancy Latin words and all these things and only has five minutes to talk to you.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So what I'm really passionate about is helping bridge that gap, so that moms have enough of an understanding to work with their healthcare provider when problems do arise and then also take charge on their own time and say I'm going to do something right now and I'm going to start making these tweaks with my diet or I'm going to start making these tweaks with my lifestyle or whatever, so that they can start seeing results today, before having to just wait for these problems to blow up in their face and then hope that the doctor knows what's going on, especially in the postpartum world.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:I'm sure you've experienced this where they hold your hands during pregnancy, there's every article and every doctor appointment under the sun, and then all of a sudden you give birth and it all disappears and you're like I actually need more support now than I did when I was pregnant and there's nothing. So my specialty is postpartum. That's where that's my bread and butter, that's where I really really light up. So the wellness mom is here to support you through every stage of motherhood and give you the tools that you need to really find your footing with motherhood and health.
Ciera:I love that. That is, it's so needed. I mean just thinking like you have a baby, then you just have like your six week follow up and then you're okay, you're done. Like it's just crazy. Like speaking of the postpartum stage of motherhood, it's crazy. So I'm so happy that we have people like you that see the need and want to help other moms to be able to fill those gaps and get the answers to the questions that they have. Can you walk us through? So you obviously talk a lot about nutrition, but what is the connection between nutrition for a mom specifically, and mental health? Oh, boy.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Okay, let's see if we can keep this really, really simple. So your body relies on nutrients to function. We need vitamins and we need minerals to make sure that our heart is pumping, that our eyes can dilate, that our gut can digest our food, that our muscles can relax and fire so that we can walk and pick up our kids, and all these things. And our brain uses about 20% of all of the calories and nutrients that we take in every single day. Of all of the calories and nutrients that we take in every single day, there's so much that our brain needs to function. And our brain is the, you know, the command center, the control center for everything that happens, not just like what we think or what we say or like, oh, I want to tell my my pointer finger to go up and down right, but it also controls the cascade of how everything else interacts in our body. So it controls which organs release which hormones, at which time, which for women, is really important, because our whole body is run on this symphony of hormones that control our menstrual cycle and pregnancy and our mood and all of these things. And so when we think about our brain, we can't not talk about nutrients, because our nutrients are what make our brain work. So that's the first connection.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Now a lot of people will say, well, things like depression are just a lack of serotonin in the body, right, you just don't have enough of those happy hormones and so you're sad. Well, did you know that 90% of your serotonin is actually produced in your gut? Serotonin is built from amino acids which come from protein. So when you go upstream and you start to kind of backtrack and say, okay, well, if the theory is that we don't have enough serotonin, where does serotonin come from protein? So when you go upstream and you start to kind of backtrack and say, okay, well, if the theory is that we don't have enough serotonin, where does serotonin come from? Comes from amino acids, comes from eating protein. And we also have an influence from the sun, our circadian rhythm that controls how much serotonin is produced and when. And all of that has to do with our food as well. So when you really boil it down, food and our mental health are so intertwined that you can't possibly separate them.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:And there's so much research that's coming out that says hey, wait a second. Over a span of nearly 30 years, we discovered that more than 40% of the patients that we studied with clinical depression were severely deficient in magnesium. I wonder if magnesium plays a role. And they're starting to kind of look at all these different nutrients and say I wonder what nutrients affect our mood.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:And it's been so cool to kind of see that come to life and be like, oh wait, yeah, what we eat does actually impact how we feel. So that is when I tell moms no, it's not just your hormones, because your hormones rely on nutrients to function, to be made, to be transported, to be understood. And when you really like bring it all together, it's like okay, then there's actually a lot we can do. A lot of times it feels like, oh, I'm just depressed because my life is really stressful, but you can also change what you eat to help minimize how much that external stress is affecting you. So I think it really puts a lot of power back in our hands to say, wow, there's actually a lot that I can do, because I eat at least three times a day and now I can do something about how I feel.
Ciera:Yeah, it gives a little bit of hope and control, like you know, like you actually can do something about it. You're not just relying on your body to figure it out.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Yeah, You're not just crossing your fingers and saying hopefully I'll feel better soon.
Ciera:Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that's really good, okay. So, hearing all of that, as a mom of four kids, I'm thinking, okay, this, all is this makes sense. Like, yes, I can totally understand. Like, especially if 90% of your serotonin is produced in your gut, like all of those things, they make sense to me. How am I supposed to, as a mom of four, get all the nutrients? What would you say to a mom like me?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Well, we're going to start with breakfast, because a lot of moms that I talk to either don't eat breakfast at all, or they're just having coffee, or they're eating leftovers from their kid's plate, or they're just grabbing a bagel or whatever. I would say breakfast is so foundational. If there's one meal that you are so intentional and like non-negotiable about, it would be breakfast, because breakfast affects your circadian rhythm, your cortisol and your melatonin, so it affects how you sleep. Breakfast will set up your blood sugar for the rest of the day. It will dictate how you feel at that two 3 PM crash If that's something that you deal with often and it'll really set the tone for your nervous system as well, because cortisol is what wakes us up in the morning.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:It's our I'm going to go run and chase and do all the things hormone, and if we're not eating breakfast or we're not eating a really satiating breakfast, it tells our body that we need more cortisol, and so our body's kind of just like on edge all day long and then our nervous system starts to say I can't really focus on absorbing and digesting nutrients right now because I'm too nervous, even if you're eating three meals a day or you're eating snacks or whatever. So breakfast is like so, so, so foundational, and it's often the most overlooked, or it's like eh, I'll just like make something up, right? So I would start with breakfast. That would be the easiest place to start.
Ciera:So if you find yourself I'm speaking from experience I find myself, like, mid-afternoon my anxiety starts to creep up and up and up. Would eating breakfast in the morning, like you were saying, with the cortisol being produced like if you're not eating right away? Would that be a reason why, like, maybe my anxiety in the afternoon and evening is rising because I haven't eaten enough already?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:I would say so. Obviously, this is a very multifaceted thing, but for this specific situation, bringing it back to our nervous system, if your body doesn't feel safe, what's it feeling? It's feeling anxious, right, it's feeling nervous, and it's like I don't know when my next meal is going to happen. I don't know how much I'm going to be fed, I don't know if I'm going to have time to finish it. I don't know if I'm going to have to digest it really quick because, oh my gosh, we have to go pick up the kids from school. Like, if that's how your body feels, not our brain, because our, our brain and our body are connected, yes, but they operate right. You can want and think one thing and your body can be in a different place. So if our body is feeling on edge, if our body is feeling like there's a lack or that it's just not quite sure how things are going to go down, then it will start to impact your brain where you recognize hey, I don't quite feel right. I don't know why I'm feeling anxious, but I do and it's because it starts with your body.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So, when you eat breakfast, and you eat a breakfast that's full of protein and fat and fiber and calories, really calorie dense. It tells your body hey, we used cortisol to wake up and now we don't have to rely on cortisol anymore because we have enough calories, we have enough energy and we took time to eat a breakfast. We're good, we got this, we're set. And it's the very first signal that you're giving your body that day. Let's remember that breakfast is the first signal that we're giving our body of how we're going to treat our body the rest of the day. Obviously, you can always repair and you can always, like you know, make up, so to speak, throughout the day. But, like, what's the very first thing that we want to tell our body? Do we want to tell our body that we need to kind of be on edge all day? Or do we want to tell our body that we're good and we're starting off on the right foot and we're going to work with our body throughout the rest of the day?
Ciera:starting off on the right foot and we're going to work with our body throughout the rest of the day. That is such good advice, such good advice and it totally makes sense once you explain it all and how it all works. And you know, I think us as moms, typically we're just like focused on where do we have to be first today, like we have to get the kids out the door, like we have all these little tiny bodies that we need to get ready, and so we often push ourselves to the side, and so I think that that's really good advice to like just do that for you in the morning. Is there like a magic window after you wake up that you should be eating breakfast, or does it not really matter, as long as it's just in the morning?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:I would say absolute maximum would be two hours, but for me that's kind of pushing it. I usually start to feel myself, get anxious after about an hour. Which, if you think about it, if you're waking up, let's say you're like me. I am not a 5am mom, absolutely not, I am. Wait, I am waking up like 10 minutes before my kids wake up, okay, because I like my sleep.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So for me personally, I'm waking up just a little bit before my kids do, so that I can pee and I can like change my clothes or do something and just kind of take a few deep breaths and then I'm in mom mode, right, and by the time I get my kids breakfast and I've breastfed the baby, and blah, blah, blah, we're creeping up on like that 50 minute mark and I'm like I don't feel good.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:It's not just like a rumbly in your tummy, you know, like poo bear, it's like my brain feels frazzled and I'm like where's my food, where's this? I like I don't feel good. So, and that's because I'm used to eating breakfast, right, maybe if you're not used to eating breakfast you might not recognize those feelings because you just haven't had breakfast for so long. But I would say, try really hard to eat within the first 60 minutes of waking up, so you're not pushing the limit right. And if you're not hungry when you wake up, that tells me that your body is relying on stress for fuel and we need to help your body come out of that and be like no, I'm waking up and I want food for fuel, not stress, and that can be like another conversation. But if you're sitting there and you're like, well, I'm not hungry, okay, we need to train your body to be hungry so that you can start off on the right foot, because you really probably are hungry, you need the nutrients, but your brain is just feeling like, no, I'm not.
Ciera:Is that kind of what you're saying Like? There's like a disconnect.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Absolutely. You know, we're all born with intuitive eating right. We feed our babies on demand. That's how they're born, that's how we were all raised.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:And then eventually, at some point in time, all of us kind of got to the point whether it was with diet, culture or busy lives or whatever where we're just like I'm going to ignore the hunger cues for X, y, z reason, and then it kind of created this pattern, and so now we're used to not listening to our body. And I'm not here to shame, I'm just calling it how it is right. I had to work through this. I. I didn't eat breakfast for like five years. So we get to this point where we're not really listening to our body anymore, and so our body's like well, if you're not going to listen, then I'll just have to make do with what I can, and if you want the science, I'll make it really simple.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:When your cortisol levels go up, cortisol is our stress hormone. It's good, we need it sometimes. But if it continues to stay elevated or our body produces more than it needs to, it tells our liver to release glucose, which is just sugar, and so now we have short-term energy that's being released into our bloodstream, but it's not coming from our food. Energy that's being released into our bloodstream, but it's not coming from our food. And so it kind of tricks our body and it says, oh, there's quick energy, but that's not sustainable, right? Telling our liver to just spontaneously produce glucose instead of getting glucose from our food, that's not a long term solution. That's like oh, oh shoot, I need to like run from a tiger super quick and then we're done, right.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So that's kind of what happens when we start to ignore our hunger cues and we've trained ourself out of eating breakfast is our body wakes up and says I got my liver, my liver is going to make the glucose and we'll be fine. And then your liver starts to get really tired at two, three o'clock in the afternoon. It's like, bro, I've been making glucose since we woke up this morning and this is not my job. My job is not to make glucose, my job is to process all the toxins in your body. And I'm tired, I can't do it anymore. And then you're like wait, why am I tired, right? So that's kind of the vicious cycle and that's where it comes from.
Ciera:Okay, that makes sense. I mean, we obviously need food, everyone needs food. How do we get rid of like the diet culture or like the guilt around certain types of foods? How do we know like to be more intuitive, I guess about what we're eating as moms and then, like you said, if we do maybe miss our breakfast or we only get a chance to grab like a string cheese or something? How do we get rid of like that shame or that guilt of not being perfect with our eating all the time, if that makes sense?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Yeah, this is a hard one, because a lot of times we've been trained to be this way, like I don't think all of us woke up one day and said I don't feel like listening to my body today. Like I don't think we ever consciously decide that right, we've kind of been trained that way by either our parents or society or whatever. So it it takes a second know. Your thoughts and your intentions are more powerful than your actions. And if there's a habit that you again, it's just kind of like second nature at this point you can start to change that habit by changing the way that you think. And if it's hard for you to be like, no, I trust my body, I trust my body, then let's come up with some thoughts that we can think when we realize that we're not living the way that we want to right. So let's say, you're having a really hard time getting yourself to want to eat food, even though, like, the cues aren't really there yet, and you're like, well, I'll be fine, or whatever excuse. Maybe the thought we can think is I want my body to trust me and I want to trust my body. And if that's the thought we're thinking, what choice do we need to make to make that a truth, and it's going to take a lot of practice, but we do know that we can rewire our brain and we can create new habits. So maybe it's setting a timer on your phone, where you're used to just waking up and taking care of the kids. So maybe you set a timer for an hour after you wake up and then the timer has a little notification that says it's your turn to eat. We're not jumping from not eating at all to being the first person to eat, because that would be really overwhelming and that would be like a huge paradigm shift, right? So let's take it a step at a time and say, okay, let's take care of the kids like we always do, and then we'll have a notification that says it's your turn to eat and let's honor that, right? Don't just swipe up on the notification and make it go away. Let's honor that.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:And maybe we have our kids get involved, say hey, mommy's trying to eat breakfast Like you guys, can you guys help me remember to eat breakfast? You would be shocked at how motivating your kids are, because they nag you all day long. Right, you might as well make them nag in your favor. Tell your kids. I need your help to remind me to eat breakfast, and I bet you they will be like I need to tell mom to do something. Oh, my gosh, like, sign me up, that's awesome. Get your kids involved.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Make it like a uh, a community effort and make it like you guys are a team where your kids are like but mommy, I want to go play. And then you remind yourself okay, I need energy to play with my kids. Hey guys, mommy needs energy to play with you. Can you help me choose something to eat really quick so that I have energy to play with you and get them involved? Let's have everyone be on the same team. So those are some things that have worked for me. Um, notifications on your phone. I have ADHD. My brain can't remember a thing. Okay, so, like, notifications are the sweet spot for me. And then tricking my kids into feeling like they're bossing me around or it's okay for them to be naggy that is also quite motivating and helpful.
Ciera:That's great. A lot of moms will struggle with like body image during a whole bunch of different stages of motherhood pregnancy, postpartum, even just. I mean, maybe they've had a baby 10 years ago and they're just still struggling with like their image and how they look and how they feel. How would? How do you tell moms when they're coming to you and they're struggling with this? How do you tell them to reframe their mindset on this? I love what you said about mindset around actually eating and like what the food will do to you, but how can you help them to love their body and accept their body where it is?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Yes. So I also want to preface this conversation by saying we need to remember that there's space for, and so we can love our body the way that it is and want it to look different or like, want it to feel different. Right, two things can be true at the same time. So I don't want you to think that, by these affirmations or this body positivity, that that means that you can't want it to look and feel different. You can have both. Okay, that's really really important. That's really really important. That's really good.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:The next thing I would say is let's remember that our body and our mind are not always united. Our body's number one job is to keep us alive, and then, once you start to go in the order of priorities after that, you can kind of see why certain things happen the way they do. Our body's number one job is to keep us alive, and if we're alive, meaning our heart is beating, we're getting oxygen. You know those really, really basic things. What comes next? Okay, well, we probably need to digest and absorb nutrients so that we can keep being alive. And once you get through that list, you realize that weight loss or maintaining a healthy weight isn't super high on the priority list when you compare it to keeping your heart beating.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So if you feel like you're struggling with your body image because maybe you gained some extra weight while you were pregnant and despite your best efforts postpartum even if you're not breastfeeding anymore or whatever you just find yourself not really being able to lose the weight, even if you're quote doing all the right things, what that tells me is that your body doesn't quite feel safe yet and you, mentally, are trying to force your body to do something that it's not ready to do yet.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Force your body to do something that it's not ready to do yet, operative word being yet what can we reevaluate in your life that will help your body feel safe and then get your mind and your body in the same place, at the same level of priority? I talk all about this in my confident mama masterclass, specifically about postpartum weight loss, but we can also apply it to body. If you can help your body feel safe, weight loss should be easy, or keeping a healthy weight should be easy, because all of the other more important things are taken care of and are kind of like running in the background. Does that make sense?
Ciera:Yeah, so keeping your body safe? By that you would mean stuff like eating breakfast to give your body the nutrients they need first thing in the morning, Like what are some other examples of how you can tell your body like you're safe, you're taken care of we?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:can take some deep breaths multiple times throughout the day, you'd be shocked at just how much like being busy can kind of just like keep us on edge because we're like, okay, got to go here, and then we got this appointment, and then we got to go here, and then it takes so much work to get four kids out of the car. It kind of adds up and so we can feel overwhelmed with not really realizing it. So just taking some check-ins throughout the day and doing some deep breathing, even if it's for 30 seconds, where you're only focusing on your breath and you're putting your hands over your chest and you're maybe doing some bilateral stimulation, you're just alternating, tapping your fingers on your collarbone that alone will kind of help reset your nervous system and be like, hey, we're good, we've been busy, but we're good, let's keep going. We've had a minute to check in, so that's super awesome.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Another thing would be making sure that your cup is filled, literally and metaphorically. So, in addition to feeling your body the right way, also making sure that you do something for you every day. Maybe that's doing your makeup every day. Maybe that helps you feel like yourself and that's something for you, and taking the time to do that is going to help you show up better, because you check something off of your list that wasn't for anybody else. Maybe it's taking a cold shower when you wake up in the morning, locking your bedroom door and then locking your bathroom door and peeing without a toddler asking you to open a snack.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Right Like going to the bathroom by yourself or whatever, like making sure that you are doing things that fill your cup and you're scheduling it, because we schedule everything else we schedule the doctor's appointments, we schedule our work appointments, we schedule the play dates, we schedule the play dates, we schedule naps. Why aren't we putting ourselves on the schedule? So making sure that you're on the schedule is really, really important, because that's going to help your body be like okay, we're chill. And I wanted to say something else before I forget. If you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're not happy with what you see, maybe you're holding on to extra weight or whatever.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Another really big mindset shift that's going to make a difference in your body positivity and how you show up for yourself is reminding yourself that everything that's happening right now with your body, in your body, to your body, is because your body is trying to keep you safe. So if you're holding on to extra weight, your body is doing that to keep you safe. Maybe it's because you're not consistent with your meals and so every time you do eat, your body's like I have to hold on to every single thing. You just ate because I don't know when I'm going to get to eat next and I don't know how much I'm going to get to eat. It's not super fun to look in the mirror and be like I don't like how I look, but if you remember that your body's just trying to keep you safe, you're like okay, this weight right now is my body trying to protect me, and I want to show my body another way to keep me safe. Right? Can you see how we're kind of connecting all of that together?
Ciera:Yeah, yeah, and it makes it takes a lot of the shame or the disappointment in yourself away, because I feel like it gives. I'm such a person who wants a reason all the time I'm like, but why this, why that? So, just like that is just a simple reason of just like well, this is why your body is just trying to stay safe, and so I think it takes a lot of like that, yeah, disappointment in yourself away because there's a reason for it and it's fixable. It's something that you can. You can do to change if you want to. Yeah, absolutely. At the very beginning, you kind of talked a little bit about your own journey and why you fell into this line of work, but how has your specifically like your nutrition and your motherhood shaped the way that you show up for other moms today?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:That's a great question, I think. Trying to go through it myself and be like okay, I know what I should be doing, but I'm having a hard time doing it why is that and how can I fix that? Trying to answer those questions, I think, has really helped me better understand how to serve my moms. Because, okay, I'll give a really good example. You know those fitness influencers that are like we all have the same 24 hours in a day and you and I look at them and we're like absolutely not, absolutely not Okay.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:It's not that what they're trying to encourage you to do is wrong, it's that the way that it's going to happen for you isn't the way that it's happening for them. And that's why a lot of us moms feel so stuck because we're told eat less, move more, sleep this much, have a grounding mat and go on a 60 minute walk and like. The checklist goes on forever, right, yeah, but you and I sit there and we're like okay, but like when and how? With four kids in tow, right? So going through it myself and being like okay, how am I going to make this work for me?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Finding those little hacks and figuring out how to make it work with three kids under four is like, oh okay, if I can do it and this is my hard, then hopefully it'll work for this mom in her. Hard Because you and I have different hearts right in her heart. Because you and I have different hearts right. It's not to say that your life is harder because you have more kids than me or my life is harder because I'm a military spouse. We both have our own heart but we're both moms and so that makes us kind of the same and if I can figure out how to do it, then hopefully that makes it more approachable for you as a mom to also figure out how to do it in your 24 hours.
Ciera:Yeah, I really love that. Yeah, because everyone's 24 hours are going to look different. We all yes, we all have 24 hours, but they're all different.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Yeah, they're not the same. 24 hours Not the same.
Ciera:So oh, I love that. Okay, what would you say to the mom who feels like she's just kind of lost herself in motherhood, physically, emotionally, like, what would you say to the mom who feels like she's just kind of lost herself in motherhood, physically, emotionally, what would you say to her to help reclaim herself and her confidence and her health back?
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Okay, we're going to go through this exercise with you, sierra. Okay, when we talk about motherhood, it's often things like nap times and play dates and diapers and blah, blah blah. And what do all of those have in common? Work, yeah, and it's all our kids.
Ciera:Yeah, yep, working from the mom to the kids, yeah.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:But motherhood is supposed to be talking about us. But motherhood is supposed to be talking about us, right? Yeah, yes, we are moms because we have kids, but when we think about motherhood, it needs to be our experience and it can't revolve around our kids all the time. Our kids are probably going to be there for most of it. Kids are probably going to be there for most of it. But my question to you, sierra, is when you think about your motherhood experience not your parenting experience when you think about what it feels like to be a mom, what do you want it to feel like? Do you want it to feel busy? Do you want to feel overstimulated? Do you want to feel burnt out? Do you want to feel lonely? How do you want your motherhood experience to feel for you? Just Sierra.
Ciera:I want it to feel joyful and connected and fun.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Okay. So now, if we focus on how you are going to feel, then what do we need to do to help you feel that way? Feel then. What do we need to do to help you feel that way? Because I don't think it's scheduling more playdates and I don't think it's being more strict about nap time and I don't think it's buying more dino nuggets for the kids, right, it's doing things that serve you, it's fueling your body, it's moving your body, it's taking some deep breaths, it's protecting your sleep, just like we protect our kids' sleep.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So, to the mom who feels lost in motherhood, I would argue that you're not lost in motherhood, you're lost in parenting. That's so good when you can make that switch and say, okay, I'm parenting right now. How do I want to enjoy my motherhood experience? And then look at your day and say, okay, if I'm waking up and I'm feeding the kids, and then I'm driving the kids here and then I'm buying my kids this and then I'm doing this with my kids, that's all kids'm doing this with my kids, that's all kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. And that's great, that's part of our job. But where are you? Are you eating? Are you getting to do something for yourself? How can we cultivate the experience that we?
Ciera:want to feel by the choices that we make. And let's start there. That's such good advice. That's probably like the best motherhood advice I've ever heard, so I'm going to remember that for forever. I'm flattered.
Ciera:Oh, thank you so much, brooke. This was awesome. I could talk to you forever. You just are such a warm and easy person to talk to, so thank you so much for joining us today and sharing some of your wisdom. Can you, before you leave, can you tell us one thing you try and do every day to feel more confident? And then also where our listeners can connect with you.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:Sure To feel confident, I smile before I look in the mirror. Think about it for a second. You know that you're coming up to a reflective surface and so you're kind of like bracing for impact, almost right. You're either like I did my hair, I did my makeup, I like I look great. So you're going to show up to the mirror and be like, let's validate how I feel, I feel great, right. Or you're like I haven't showered in two days, I haven't done my hair, I'm wearing my husband's like shirt and it's got spit up on it. You're gonna look in the mirror and be like, yeah, I don't look that great, right.
Brooke Harmer @thewellnourishedmama_:So something I do every day, and I try really hard to do, is I always try and smile before I look in a reflective surface. So the first thing I see is my smile, not what I think is wrong with me, and that makes a huge difference. That's awesome, that's good advice. And then if you want to connect with me, learn more for me and just feel like a better mom, you can find me at the well-nourished mama underscore on Instagram, and then my website and my podcast are the well-nourished mama. And if you really enjoyed our conversation about mindset and priorities and body safety. Today I have a masterclass called the confident mama masterclass. It is through the lens of postpartum weight loss but, like I said, it can be just trying to get into better habits as a mom. It could be just like trying to sell yourself up for success. It's a really great way to reframe your mindset and help you create those habits that will really help you enjoy being a mom, and it's a great resource, so definitely check that out as well.
Ciera:Thank you so much, brooke. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me. Did you know that I finally did it? I finally have an email newsletter and I'm so excited. I have put together a brand new website, confidentlybeautifulwithsierracom C-I-E-R-Acom, and you can sign up for my newsletter there. I will have a newsletter full of my favorite things podcast episodes that maybe you have missed. Anything beauty and self-care related is going to be there. It's going to be full of things that I hope bring some value to you. So if this is something that you are interested in signing up for, head on to my website, confidentlybeautifulwithsierracom and sign up for the newsletter, or you can click the link in my bio or in the show notes and it will take you directly there, and I can't wait to be in your inbox. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at confidentlybeautifulpodcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay confidently beautiful.