Confidently Beautiful with Ciera

How to Reset Your Confidence Before the Holidays

• Ciera • Episode 86

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Holiday magic loses its shine when our schedules overflow and our confidence takes a hit. We’ve been there—wrapping gifts at midnight, missing the moments we wanted to savor, and second-guessing our choices. So we put together a practical, heart-forward confidence reset built on four pillars: body, family connection, schedule, and mindset. It’s not about doing more. It’s about aligning with what actually matters and creating room to feel present.

We start with body confidence by choosing energy over appearance. Think five-minute morning rituals, hydration, gentle movement, and dressing for joy in colors that love you back. Add simple, science-supported cues—a mirror high-five, a quick power pose, and attunement to your body’s signals—to steady your day when gatherings, sugar, and late nights ramp up.

Family connection deepens when we plan small moments before the chaos. We map one-on-one time with kids and partners, set kind but firm boundaries, and build anchors—Friday movie night, Sunday cocoa, or a shared playlist—that give the week a reliable rhythm. Authenticity sits at the core: when we show up as ourselves, connection feels easy and confidence grows.

On the schedule front, we walk through a three-step confidence calendar reset: brain dump everything, highlight what truly matters, and cross out or delegate the rest. Then we put priorities on the calendar now, move plans instead of deleting them, and protect white space for recovery and spontaneity. For mindset, we swap I have to for I get to, use simple affirmations, journal on what the confident version of us would choose, stop the comparison spiral, and deploy the 5-4-3-2-1 rule to take the next step. We wrap with a free giant holiday calendar to help your family plan with clarity and calm.

If this helped you breathe easier, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs holiday peace, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show.

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Ciera:

You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Cieraa, a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out, and I'm here to show you how. Body image, dreams, parenting style, personality, and more. Here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. This time of year can be beautiful and busy all at once. Between all of the family gatherings, all of our endless to-do list, and trying to make this beautiful season magical for our kids, our confidence can really take a hit. So today I want to help you reset your confidence before the holidays even begin. Today we're going to focus on body, family connection, schedule, and mindset because I think these are four areas with our confidence that can really kind of struggle during this holiday season. With so much that we have going on and all the things that we are doing, we don't want these four things to struggle at all. And so I'm going to hopefully help to give some strategies to help prep yourself so that you're not letting these areas of your life take confidence dive. When I was in my very, very first early holiday years as a parent, I found myself often wrapping presents Christmas Eve, or missing all of the moments that I really wanted to enjoy with my family, or going and doing the traditions that we wanted to do, but not actually like being fully there and present for them. Like I was still in the back of my mind thinking all these things that I wanted to get done, all the things that we're slacking on, and all the things that I still wanted to have happen that hadn't yet happened. So as I have learned as the holidays have come and gone as my with my kids and being a mom, I've learned to start practicing getting things ready a lot earlier. So I get things ready for Christmas as early as September. Like I really want it to be done and the lists are made. It's helped me to have my better family connection time. It's helped me with my schedule to be able to get the things on my schedule that are priority. It has helped with my mindset because I haven't been overwhelmed. I've been feeling like I am confidently on top of things. And it has helped with my budget as well because I have been confident with my spending. I know exactly what I am trying to buy. There were so many Christmases that I would be wrapping presents and, like, oh my gosh, I have so many presents. Like I spent so much money, and there were so many times that I really didn't need that many gifts for my kids. My kids definitely would have been happy with less gifts. And the financial pillar of my life has definitely increased with confidence as I have prepared more for the holidays times and prepared in advance so I know exactly what I'm buying and I can buy things with confidence. So let's dive in to confidence in your body. So reconnecting with your body in a way that feels nurturing and not critical. There can be a lot of times in this holiday season where there is a lot of food involved. There is a lot of sugar. There is a lot of exhaustion from going and going and going. But confidence starts with how you treat your body and not how it looks. So I think reminding ourselves of this as we are getting into the end of the year, maybe we had some goals that we wanted to set for that this year. And we're getting to the end of the year and we're like, wow, I did not hit my health or body goals that I was wanting to. So to protect ourselves from feeling less confident that we maybe didn't hit our goals, but to be more focusing on how we are feeling, focus on our energy instead of our appearance. I think that can be really helpful as we're entering this holiday season when you're reflecting on maybe some physical goals that you had for the year. And also as you are getting tired a lot easier because you're doing so much more this time of year than maybe other times. And there's a lot more food around, like every gathering this time of year, it seems there is food involved. So try to focus more on what the food that we're eating is making us feel and the things that we are doing, how that is helping with our energy. That can really help to feel more confident in our bodies. You could try a body reset ritual. So maybe like five minutes of stretching or hydration first thing in the morning, or maybe take a walk outside in the morning. And if you can start your day with some sort of small ritual to help you with your body and to feel good in your body, then I think this can be really helpful, especially this time of year when things can get so hectic and busy. Also try dressing for joy. Choose outfits that feel like you, outfits that allow like comfort and movement, but yet you still feel put together. Add some color that is good for your skin. I recently did a color analysis on which is one of the free apps, and it was so interesting to hear what I am. I am a warm autumn apparently, and so to look in my closet and see like, oh yeah, that's probably why I never want to wear that outfit because that is not a color that naturally looks good on me. So I think that is a really fun thing that maybe you could try this holiday season is figure out what your color palette is and start to maybe dress in your colors that are best for you. Some other things that you can do to help boost your body confidence and your self-esteem is do what Mel Robins suggests in her high five habit. Give yourself a high five in the mirror every morning. This can help boost your self-trust and your body confidence. So greet yourself in the morning with a high five in the mirror. There is a lot of research that Mel talks about, about how this is so beneficial for your confidence and for your self-worth if you give yourself a high five in the mirror. In the book, The Body Keeps Score. This book talks about how turning into your body helps regulate stress and confidence. So being aware of like what we are feeling in our body and all of the environments that we are in, the past experiences that we have had, and how our body is reacting to situations. This can help us to be more aware and to regulate our stress, which is going to make us feel more confident. Harvard Health has done some research on the power pose. You know, you can see it with the hands on the hips, just looking up and how this power pose can really affect our body language and our confidence cues. So high-five yourself in the mirror, do a power pose, whatever it is that you need to do to get your body to be feeling confident and to remind yourself that you are beautiful just the way you are, and it's how we feel that really matters, not how we look. Confidence and family connection. The holidays are a time for family, right? And so feeling confident in your role and your interactions is really important. So if we're feeling confident in those roles and confident with our interactions with our family members and not walking away feeling drained, then our confidence, our confidence is going to grow. That is the goal, right? So reconnect before the chaos. So plan like some intentional connection moments with each family member. So maybe before December hits, try and have a walk with some family members, a special movie night or a car chat, or if you see someone's going to run an error and maybe say, Hey, can I go with you and go with them and spend that one-on-one quality time? If we can spend real intentional connected time with people one-on-one, then when we are in big group gatherings, I find that that really helps the connection of the group as a whole. And so finding those moments where you can take just those little intentional connection moments are going to be really helpful as we are getting in the busyness of the holiday season. I know I think of my kids. My kids are going to, I mean, they're going to be overwhelmed, they're going to be overstimulated, just like I am. And they're going to have all the fun and excitement things going on, and they're going to need that connection. They're going to need that to know that they can rely on me and that I am there for them. And so having those quiet moments where we can have some one-on-one time, going for a walk, playing a game, extra cuddles in bed before they go to sleep, whatever it is, having those times for reconnection is really important. And also setting emotional boundaries early. So learn for the times that you want to say no, or I'm sorry, I can't do that this year. You can be kind about it, but you can be firm in your boundaries and setting those boundaries. So think now, like it's only October right now, but what do you want your holidays to look like in November and December? Do you want to be committing to certain things? Do you know that there's some things that maybe you've done in the past that you don't want to do? So setting up those emotional boundaries now can be really helpful with family members and even friends as we are trying to protect those relationships, but also those connections. And then maybe we can think of alternatives that we could do to help keep that connection with that person, but also protecting our boundaries. This can also go with like conversations, like things that you know, like I don't want to be talking about this at the Thanksgiving table. I don't want to be having conversations about this. You can maybe even like think of some responses that you would say if you found yourself in a situation with some family members of conversations that maybe make you feel drained or less confident or just don't make you feel like your best self and conversations that you maybe don't want to be having. And you can keep those boundaries while still being kind and protecting that connection. One thing as I have been raising a neurodivergent child that I have noticed has been really helpful is to have anchors. So have like things that we know are always going to happen. We know in our family, Friday night is pizza movie night. That's just what it is. That's what it's always been for as long as I can remember. And having those anchors, I think, at this time is really important when it things are so busy and your schedule is going to be a little bit different than normal. If you can find something that can stay consistent and it's just a small family tradition that just grounds you and just reminds you of what really matters and the routine and the people that really matter, then these anchors can be really helpful as the holiday chaos is going around. So, like I said, family Friday Family Movie Night is ours, but other suggestions could be like Sunday cocoa night or having a gratitude jar or a morning playlist that maybe you listen to like the same morning song every morning. Uh, there's another one that we do in our family as kind of an anchor is school is a hard thing for a lot of kids, but especially for our neurodivergent kiddo, like it's hard for the transition from being home to going to school. And so they have an affirmation song. It's the Snoop Dogg affirmation song that um they will listen to in the car on the way to school every morning. And that having that anchor, it's like a trigger for your mind that, like, okay, this this transition is coming or like I'm safe. This is like this is part of my routine, maybe if other things are different that day. So in this busy, busy holiday season, finding like some sort of holiday anchor could be really fun. So those anchors are anchors that we have throughout the year. But if you want to find a simple like family tradition just for this holiday season, that can help to bring you together as a family and to know that like it is consistently going to happen every week or whatever it is that you choose for your holiday anchor. Maybe it's a daily thing, maybe it's a weekly thing. I think that can be really beneficial in helping your relationships stay strong and connected. In Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she talks about how authenticity is the key to confident connection. So being authentic with the people around us. We're not going to feel like we're connected to our family members if we're not being ourselves. So I think that's where those boundaries that I talked about come into play and like setting up your boundaries beforehand, going into situations, knowing like how you feel about things and not being afraid to stand your ground for respectfully for what you believe, um, but also being yourself, going into situations and just like totally being you, letting your family see the true you and laughing and having fun and just being yourself. Authenticity is so important in connection. You can't have a real genuine connection if you're not being authentic. And confidence in your schedule. So feeling calm and in control of your time is going to really help you to feel confident this holiday season. As there's so much going on, knowing what you have on your schedule and what is important to you will help you to feel more confident. So overbooking is going to destroy your confidence. So do not overbook. Don't spread yourself too thin, especially this holiday season. We want to be enjoying it. Our goal is to enjoy life. We want joy in our life. We want to feel confident. So don't overbook yourself. And do a confidence calendar reset now. So write down all the things that you know that you are going to be committed to this holiday season. That was your step one. So just write it all out. Step two, highlight what truly matters to you and your family. What brings your family joy? What is in line with your family values? What are your priorities? Which of those things on that list that you just made are actually going to really matter to you? And step three is going to either cross out, just completely say this doesn't matter this year, or delegate the rest of the things. Is there something on the list that you didn't highlight that like you could turn over to someone else that you didn't that you don't necessarily need to do yourself? Is there something on that list that maybe actually doesn't really matter? Like, do you really need to do that thing that you think that you need to do? I know for me, something that I have crossed off, I I crossed it off my list a couple years ago and I honestly don't think anyone has noticed. But I crossed off Christmas cards. I don't send Christmas cards. Sometimes I will do a virtual card where I send a picture and say, Merry Christmas, we love you. But I don't, I don't take the time to design the cards, print them, and mail them to all my family and friends. Maybe that makes me terrible, but that is something for me with my schedule and my bandwidth and like the time that I want to take. I just did not want to put the time into doing that. And hopefully my friends and family know that we love them anyways, and we're thinking about them, but I don't know. I just feel like sometimes a social media or a text one can be good enough, and that is okay. So don't feel bad about crossing things off your list or delegating things that you feel like are not what truly matter to you. And then once you have your things highlighted, like the things that really matter, it's so important to actually schedule them, like and to make it so that those things actually happen. So schedule them now or they're not gonna happen. And then as the season is going on, maybe you scheduled something, maybe you said that you wanted to go and look at Christmas lights and drive around and look at Christmas lights on this night, but then you find out that your kid has acquired a performance that night. Well, that's okay. We're not going to cross that item off our list, we're just gonna move it to another day. So it's still gonna happen because it was still on our calendar. We're just going to adjust and move things to a different day. So never cross things off, but it's okay to move things around. But put them on your calendar now, even if it's a tentative plan, so that you know that it's going to happen. And I think it's also really important, especially for kids, as they need that downtime, but even for moms, even for adults, like we need downtime too. So build in white space, have buffer days or no plans for certain days. Give yourself room to breathe, and this is going to help you feel a lot more confident in your schedule and also give room for things that pop up that actually really do matter to you, and you feel like you can still fit them into your schedule. Confidence grows when you keep promises to yourself. So even these small ones like a bedtime routine or a workout, trying to not fall out of the routines and the normal things that you're doing is going to be really helpful with your confidence in your schedule this holiday season. Don't let the busyness of the holidays allow you to break promises that you've made to yourself. Keep the promises that you've made to yourself. Keep up with your routines, keep up with your family dinner, whatever it is that's important to you that you do throughout the year. Trying to keep up on those things is going to help you feel more confident in your schedule this holiday season. And confidence in our mindset. So resetting our mental habits now to support a calm and joyful, confident season is going to be really important. So replace your I have to blank with I get to blank. This is going to shift our gratitude and our energy and help us to feel more grateful for the things that we get to do, not the things that we have to do. Practice self- self-affirmations like I am enough even when I do less. I am creating a joyful season even if my kids aren't getting everything that they're asking for. Whatever those affirmations are, that will help our mindset to believe that we are doing the best that we can and that we are the person who we need to be for this holiday season that will help us to just feel more confident and at peace. What I love to do is a journal, and you can have a holiday journal, you can have like any kind of type of notebook, whatever, and just say, what would the confident version of me choose this holiday season? Reflect on that now. How you would feel confident. What would you do if you were this holiday season, if you were that confident person? How would that person look? How would she act? How would she talk to herself? What is she going to be doing? And so to be doing that journal prompt before the business starts and then to continue journaling as the holiday season goes on. Continue and journal those confident moments where you feel confident and where you noticed that you were shining and you were sticking to your boundaries and you were increasing those family connections and you were doing all the things that you are working so hard to do, especially now as we are doing this work before all the craziness starts, so that we can prep ourselves to feel more confident. And limit comparison. Confidence expands when you define your success in your own terms, not when you're looking at the success of other people and comparing where you are to where they are, because where we are in our story is going to be different where the other person is. They were may have been where we are now, but we just can't see that. We don't know where they were. And we all we can see is where they are right now. And we don't know all of the circumstances, and we don't know, we just there's just so much that we don't know. We're creating our own story when we're comparing. When we look at somebody and we're comparing ourselves to them, then we are creating our own story. I am so guilty of this. I do this all the time. Where I look at someone and think, oh man, they just have it all. They've they've succeeded in this business. Their kids are so much so well behaved. And like I just create this story about how they are just like this rock star person, and I'm comparing myself to them where I don't know what happens behind closed doors. I don't know what they had to walk through to get to where they are now. And so trying to avoid comparing ourselves can help to protect our mindset and our confidence in ourself. When our confidence feels low, I'm gonna go back to Mel Robbins. She's just one of my favorite people. She talks about the five-second rule. So she has her five-five habit and she also has the five-second rule. And the five-second rule is where if she doesn't want to do something, she's scared to do something, she's feeling like doubtful about something, she counts backwards from five. Five, four, three, two, one, and then she just does it. And this can help to build momentum and it can also help us when our confidence is feeling low. So if we tell ourselves, I'm just doing it, five, four, three, two, one, and then we just do it, then we are naturally going to build our confidence. Our confidence is going to increase just because we are pushing ourselves to do it. Our confidence shines when we are expressing our joy, whether it's through our style or through our creativity or through our traditions. So find your way that you can just express your joy this holiday season. Decorate for the holidays, dress up for the holidays, give gifts in a way that feels true to you and doesn't necessarily need to go along with the trends. We're going to be seeing so much going on on social media from all the influencers saying, this is the best list for toddler gifts. This is the best sister gift list. This is what your husband wants this Christmas. But we don't need to go along with those trends. We don't need to get the number one bestsellers on Amazon. We can just get the gifts that feel like they are authentic to us because again, authenticity is going to bring that connection and that confidence. And confidence doesn't need to be loud. It's just what our alignment is. Confidence is just going to align to what we believe and what we feel. Confidence isn't something you have to find. It's something you reset through small intentional choices before all of this holiday craziness begins. So we don't need to search for it. We have it. Confidence is in us. Let's just do this reset and we can find our confidence in our small intentional choices. So just choose one of these areas. We talked about body, we talked about family connection, we talked about schedule, we talked about mindset. Just pick one of these and try and commit to it this week. What are you going to do to help improve yourself in this area with your confidence as we are getting into this busy holiday season? You are confidently beautiful inside and out, and this holiday season let's let confidence lead the way. And I have a freebie for you, okay? We've talked about family connection, we've talked about scheduling. So this one is gonna go great with both of those uh because this is a super cute big printable calendar for November and December. So I recommend going to your local print shop and getting the architectural print. This is like a big 24 by 36 print, so you can put it on a wall somewhere where your family can see. You can put it on the back of a closet door, uh, just somewhere where your whole family can see it. And I want you to just take the time to just get a piece of paper, write down all the things, have your kids tell you all the things that are important to them this holiday season, have your spouse tell you, you write down all of your important things and just brain dump everything on there, and then also the things that you know will be happening. Put all of that on the paper, then go through and highlight, like I said when we were talking about our scheduling section, go through and highlight the things that are most important, the priorities, the big things, and then go ahead and put them on the calendar. Put them on the calendar that I made for you, have them penciled in. You can always erase them and move them around, but we're not going to erase them and not let them happen, right? We want them to happen this comp this holiday season so that we can feel confident that we are living the holidays the way that we want to and getting our priorities met and all of the memories created. So let's have a holiday season full of joyful memories and family connection. So you can go to the link in the show notes to download this calendar. It's totally free and you can fill it out for you and your family, or you can head to confidentexpression.com and click on the freebies tab, and you will be led to where you can download it. So I hope that this is fun for you and that you can share this with some of your friends and family who maybe want this fun calendar, and we can all have a joyful, happy, and confident holiday season. Thank you for listening and until next time, stay confidently beautiful. If you've been wanting to boost your confidence in a simple but meaningful way, my new daily confidence journals are here. Each page starts with today I felt confident when to help you notice and celebrate your everyday wins. The rainbow collection comes in seven gorgeous colors with really fun designs, and you can grab yours now at confidentexpression.com. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at Confidently Beautiful Podcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay Confidently Beautiful.