Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
In this podcast Ciera talks to you about bringing out your confidence in all areas of our life. Dream chasing, parenting, body image, health, money, relationships and so much more. Ciera covers it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful.
Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
See And Be Seen
What if the missing piece in your confidence is simpler than you think—a moment of being truly seen? We dive into the emotional power of recognition, sparked by a sweet family story about YouTube’s Ninja Kids and a child’s instinct to write fan mail. That small impulse uncovers a larger truth: kids ask for attention out loud, but adults carry the same need quietly. When no one notices, confidence erodes. When we name effort and celebrate growth, confidence blooms.
We unpack why acknowledgment matters at any age and how it shows up in emotions like joy, sadness, anger, and fear. You’ll hear how invisible labor—especially for moms—magnifies the craving for recognition, and why appreciation is more than polite manners; it’s a wellness habit backed by brain chemistry. Gratitude raises dopamine and oxytocin, cooling comparison and building trust. When we lift each other, competition recedes and self-worth rises.
You’ll get practical, repeatable tools to make recognition part of daily life: the appreciation audit to reach people who need to hear they matter, one-line sticky notes that name specific efforts, and a nightly family prompt that trains everyone to spot the good. We also model how to let yourself be seen without oversharing—using short, honest statements, sharing one weekly win, accepting help the first time it’s offered, and asking clearly for what you need. These micro-habits strengthen attachment, calm the nervous system, and anchor a confident, connected home.
If this resonates, take one small step today—send a text, offer a thoughtful compliment, or ask for support you truly need. Subscribe, leave a quick review, and share this conversation with a friend who could use a reminder that they already matter.
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You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera, a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out, and I'm here to show you how. Body image, dreams, parenting style, personality, and more. Here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. This summer my kids got obsessed with the ninja kids on YouTube. If you're a mom, you know how it goes when your kids finally find something that they're just loving. So suddenly every single car ride, every conversation, everything they were playing all became ninja kids inspired. They were obsessed. But what I loved most about watching how inspired they were by them was not just that they were entertained by the ninja kids, but they were actually lit up. They loved their talent, they loved their kindness, and they loved that these kids tried to make the world happier. When we drove past their ninja kids gym up north, then my kids just about lost their mind. They thought it was so cool. And our most recent trip, we stopped and went inside and they got to play, and it was honestly probably a dream come true for them. They loved every minute of it. But one moment that really stuck out to me this past summer when they were watching them is one afternoon when Whitley was watching and she said, Mom, we should write fan mail to the ninja kids. It would make them so happy to know people are watching and like their videos. And it just reminded me, it was just this moment that I realized something so simple but so true. People just want to be seen. Kids, teens, adults, it doesn't matter the age, we all just want to feel like our existence matters. Like someone notices our efforts, our growths, and our gifts. We want to know that we are inspiring someone, even if it is just in a really small way. And so that's what today's episode is about. Seeing the people around you and also letting yourself be seen too. Because confidence grows in connection, beauty grows in appreciation, and joy grows when we express gratitude outwardly. So let's talk about how we can create a ripple effect of being seen moments in our families, with our friends, in our communities, and even online. When kids are constantly saying things like, Mom, watch this, or did you see me or look what I made, it's not attention seeking, it's connection seeking. Being acknowledged literally supports healthy emotional development, is what kids need. So here's the powerful truth. This need does not disappear when we become an adult. We just learn as adults to silence this. We don't walk around saying, look at me, look what I did, look and see what I did. That's not a natural thing for adults to be doing like it is for kids. But the need is still there. We crave that same acknowledgement that kids crave and ask for. Research on emotional well-being shows that adults experience a measurable boost in mood, motivation, and confidence when someone notices their efforts or expresses appreciation. I think especially when they're noticed and appreciated without having to ask for it. So this activates the same areas of the brain that responds to rewards and belonging. This need to be seen is just part of being human. It's not childish. It's just a human desire. It's something that we just want as human beings. I think moms especially experience that invisible labor, right? You know what I'm thinking talking about, where you are doing all of the things that maybe aren't getting noticed by the people in your life. But then if those things were to stop, then the world might fall apart, right? So that invisible labor, I think moms experience that. And this can really, I think, in my experience at least, that can really make us want the desire to be seen even stronger. So having that craving to be seen and acknowledged is even more so when we feel like everything we are doing is invisibly noticed, like it's an un or invisibly unnoticed, I should say. It's it's just invisible and we are being unnoticed. So kids can say things like, watch me, but adults usually say something like, I'm fine. But both of those statements really mean the same thing. I want to matter to someone. So one analogy that I came up with was the inside out analogy. This is one of my favorite kids' movies. I love this movie, and every emotion in this movie has a job. There's joy, sadness, fear, anger, disgust. They all work together. But think about it, we don't have an emotion called being seen. It just shows up underneath almost all of these other emotions. So joy lights up when someone praises us. Our sadness appears when we feel like we're being unnoticed. Our anger can rise if we feel ignored. And our fear is sometimes tied to what if I don't matter? Like, what if nobody sees me? What if nobody cares? The underlying feeling to all of these is just wanting to feel seen. All of these emotions just have that feeling of wanting to be seen. So it's like there's an invisible sixth emotion quietly running around in the show that no that just wants to be seen. The kids show it openly, but adults mask it. That desire is still there, and it is often what is causing so many of our reactions to different situations. Children are open about their needs to be seen and we celebrate it. But somewhere along the path of adulthood, we toughen up. We stop needing that acknowledgement. We, or at least we think we need to stop needing that acknowledgement. But all there's research is really clear that adults really crave it just as much as kids do. And the absence of being seen is one of the quietest confidence stealers. It's going to steal our confidence away. If we can notice the people around us and acknowledge them, then their confidence is going to increase, which is also going to help our confidence increase and we will start to feel more noticed as well. So if being seen matters this much, not just for kids, but for all of us, then the next question is how do we build that into our daily lives? How do we make this just a part of our life? How do we take something so simple but so powerful and turn it into a habit that's going to strengthen all of our relationships and even strengthen our relationship with ourselves? And this gonna this brings us to the next point of our conversation, which is the beauty that shows up in our relationships when we start noticing each other intentionally. Appreciation literally boosts emotional wellness. Studies show expressing appreciation increases dopamine and oxytocin, which are the bonding chemicals for both the giver and for the receiver. This means that appreciation creates emotional beauty, closeness, trust, warmth, safety, our relationships are going to improve when we are noticing the other people and acknowledging them. It's one of the simplest wellness habits we can build into our everyday life. Appreciation is naturally going to dissolve comparison and competition. When women are lifting each other up, competition decreases and confidence increases. Seeing the beauty in other people is going to help you yourself to feel more grounded in your own beauty. And gratitude and jealousy, like they can't exist at the same time. So the gratitude is going to push the jealousy out. Every time you appreciate another woman, you're reminding yourself that beauty isn't scarce, it's shared. So what are some things that we can do to help to increase our relationships with this feeling of being seen, helping the people around us to feel seen? One thing you can do is the appreciation audit. You could ask yourself, who in my life hasn't heard that they matter in a while? Write down the three names that come to your head and then reach out to those people throughout the week. You could also put do like a little one-liner sticky note challenge where you just have one sticky notes that you just carry with you and you write things that you're noticing about people and stick them where they can see them. So I noticed that you did the dishes today without being asked. It means a lot. This works for partners, for kids, or for even yourself. Like if you need to just keep a notes app in your phone and just say, I noticed that I did this today, and it felt like this. That can be really, really helpful for you to be seen, even if you are the one doing the one who is seeing yourself. Every night at dinner or bedtime, you can ask your family, what's one good thing you saw somebody do today? This can also train the people around you and train yourself to be noticing that you're seeing the good things that people are doing throughout the day and can start to train your brain to notice those things. Because I think if we're not, it's like the same thing with gratitude journals. If you're not like writing down things you're grateful for, then you sometimes just don't see it. But if you get in the pattern of doing it every single day, like you are training your brain to start to look for those things. So if we can start asking that question every day, like what's something that you saw somebody do good today, then you're training your brain, your family's brain, to start noticing those things throughout the day. Moms spend so much time seeing other people that we oftentimes forget to see ourselves. I think this is one of the most important parts of this podcast episode. Like, yes, we want to see the other people around us and we want them to feel seen, but we ourselves need to allow ourselves to be seen. As moms, we become the experts in noticing everyone else's needs, everyone else's emotions. We try and keep the stress levels low, we try and keep the home running smoothly, we build our entire world around seeing other people, but somewhere along the way, it can be really easy to stop expecting anyone to even notice us. And it can be really hard because you might get to a point where you are just feeling completely taken advantage of if you are not allowing yourself to be seen and speaking up. Many moms don't express their needs because they don't want to be a burden. I know that I often don't express my needs because I feel like I just need to manage the needs of everyone else around me and like I'll get to mine eventually. And this can lead to guilt for asking for help. It can lead to worry that if you're saying, I need some help, I need some support, that can make you look weak. It can make you look like you're maybe not measuring up to what your potential is. But the reality is like asking for help or saying like I need some help with this, or I'm not feeling seen in this area, that is actually going to do the opposite. Speaking your needs is one of the strongest confidence habits a woman can build. It's one of the hardest ones, I feel like it is so hard for me to do, but it can definitely increase your confidence in so many different ways when you can actually learn to speak up and say what you need and what you want. Being seen is directly connected to self-worth. Sometimes I know I feel like I'm just going through the motions and I have that feeling. And when I feel like I am being seen, then my self-worth increases, and I don't have those like I'm going through the motion thoughts and feelings that I think I can often fall into. Letting yourself be seen is not the same thing as oversharing. So being seen isn't just going to dump your whole life onto people and just be like, I'm so overwhelmed. I need you to do this, I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like all the things that we are feeling. It's just being honest about what we're feeling and what we need, and letting the people that you trust and have access to and letting the people that you trust to see and hear the real true you, not the polished and performing version that's making everything look great. But it can be so some examples that are just really, really simple statements of things that you could say are I'm overwhelmed today. I need a minute. I'm proud of myself for getting that done. Can you help me with this? But these are really small, but they're emotionally courageous statements that we can say, statements that maybe are hard for us to stay. Especially, I think for me, when it is something that is saying that I am proud of something that I did. I think I have gotten pretty good about asking for help when I need help, or saying when I'm overwhelmed and I need a minute. But saying, like, I did this, or I have this accomplishment, or this is a goal that I just achieved, that is something that I have a really hard time still doing. But I think building that muscle to express what you're proud about of from yourself and some accomplishments that you did, that can be really good. And it can help the people in your life to notice those things that you're doing and to realize, like, oh yeah, I should be acknowledging these things that she is accomplishing. Brene Brown is one of my favorite people. I love Brene Brown and everything that she teaches, and she says this often shame thrives in hiding, confidence thrives in honesty. That is one of my favorite quotes because being seen builds our confidence. It removes that secrecy and that shame. When you when you voice your needs, you tell your brain my needs matter. When you acknowledge your strength, you are reinforcing your worth. When you let others support you, you feel safe. And your safety builds confidence. Confidence isn't built in the moments where we have it all together. It's built in the moments we allow ourselves to be human. We allow ourselves to be seen. We allow ourselves to say what we want. So we already talked about like some statements that you can say of things that you um you're feeling, like if you're feeling overwhelmed, I need a break, I need a minute, or I'm really proud of myself for accomplishing this. Those are some really, really helpful things that can help you as a person be more seen. Another thing you can do is share something that you're proud of. So once a week, like maybe set a goal. Like once a week, I'm gonna tell somebody something that I did. It can be something so small, it could be something really grand. And this is going to normalize you celebrating yourself. It's going to make you feel more normal to be saying these wins. And another thing you can do this week is to accept help the first time that it's offered. When someone says, Can I help or what can I do to help you? Your first response is going to be, no, I'm fine, thank you. But instead of doing that this week, just try and say, Yes, thank you, and allow that person to help. This is going to help them feel better because they're feeling like they're allowing someone to feel seen. And it's also going to help you feel better because you are being seen and you know, whatever they're helping with you is going to be a bonus too, because that is going to be taken away off of you. And the fourth thing is to ask for one thing you need this week. So think about like what it is that you need. Do you want 10 minutes for yourself? Do you want help with the bedtime tonight? Do you want time to go for a walk or to work out? Do you want just some quiet space to rest? When you vocalize these things that you need, you'll start to build trust with yourself and that your needs matter too, and that you can feel seen. And that's where I want to leave you here today. Right in the middle of this big, beautiful truth. You matter, and the way you see others matters too. If this episode inspired you, I hope you'll take one tiny step this week to make someone in your world feel seen. Maybe it's a quick text, a compliment, a thank you note, a sticky note, or simply looking someone in the eye a little longer than you normally do. Actually listening to what they're saying. When you say hi, how are you? You actually listen to their response. This moment doesn't take long, but it can change everything. It can improve your relationships, it can improve the person that you're interacting with's feeling for themselves, it improves your feelings for yourself. It can just do so much. Thank you for spending this time with me. I am endlessly grateful for you. My listeners, my community, my confidently beautiful family, you are my people, and your presence here means more than you know. If you loved this episode, it would mean so much to me if you would share it with a friend, or even better, if you would leave a quick review or click that follow button to make sure that you are getting notified when there are new episodes. And don't forget to check out this week's newsletter. It is going to be in your inbox. If you're not on that newsletter, make sure you sign up. There's a link in the show notes. It's going to have new things happening inside Confidently Beautiful that you are going to want to stay up to date on, and it's always full of inspiration and good things. So it's a fun newsletter. It's a weekly newsletter. I think you'll want to be on the list. Until next time, keep showing up with confidence, keep choosing kindness, and keep being a little bit of sunshine in someone's day. I'll see you next week. With all of the skincare products out there, it can be very overwhelming and confusing about which skincare product you should actually be using for your skin. Is your skin oily? Are you dry? Do you even know the answer to these questions? Do you need to be exfoliating? Do you need more hydration in your skin? If you have questions about your skin and you are wondering where you should start with some products that have clean ingredients, simple ingredients, and ingredients that are actually going to benefit your skin, then you are going to want to take my skin quiz. Go to beautysociety.com slash Sierra Lancaster and click quizzes and take the skin quiz today. Or you can click the link in the show notes below and it will take you directly there. And a bonus is after taking the skin quiz, you will be able to unlock 20% off your first order. So head over to beautysociety.com slash Sierra C I E R A Lancaster or click the link in the show notes below. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at confidently beautiful podcast and share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay confidently beautiful.