Noise Sensitivity Revisited

Are you a highly sensitive person who feels overwhelmed by noise, travel, or shared living spaces? You’re not imagining it — and you’re not alone.

In this Compassionate Conversations episode, Esther Kane, MSW is joined by writer (and HSP) Maryanne Pope, for a powerful follow-up conversation on noise sensitivity, sensory overload, and what it’s really like to live and travel as a highly sensitive person.

From tiny home living and constant background noise, to budget travel, shared rooms, and sensory burnout, this episode explores how HSPs experience sound, smell, and stimulation differently — and why quiet is not a luxury, but a biological need.

You’ll also hear:

✨ Why noise hits HSPs harder than most people
✨ Tools that actually help with noise sensitivity (earplugs, headphones, white noise)
✨ The hidden link between deep work, creativity, and sensory overwhelm
✨ A hilarious (and horrifying) real-life story about smell sensitivity while traveling
✨ How to advocate for yourself without guilt
✨ Why protecting your health must come before being “easygoing”

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” this conversation will help you reframe your sensitivity as wisdom — not weakness.

👉 Chapters

00:00 – Are You Overstimulated by Noise? (HSPs & Sensory Overload)
01:58 – Tiny Home Living: When “Quiet” Becomes Constant Noise
03:15 – Trains, Dogs, Construction: Daily Noise Triggers for HSPs
04:34 – Traveling as a Highly Sensitive Person
05:59 – Shared Spaces, Budget Travel & Sensory Burnout
06:28 – Finding Real Quiet as an HSP (Florida Retreat Story)
07:37 – Noise Sensitivity Survival Tools (Headphones, Earplugs, White Noise)
09:00 – Why HSPs Need Deep Quiet to Think & Heal
11:38 – How Highly Sensitive People Process Experiences Differently
12:23 – Introvert vs Extrovert Energy in HSPs
13:15 – Social Overstimulation & the Need for Alone Time
15:23 – BONUS: Smell Sensitivity in Highly Sensitive People
15:59 – When Chemical Smells Become a Health Issue
17:04 – Choosing Between Noise vs Smell Sensitivity
19:52 – Learning to Advocate for Yourself as an HSP
21:15 – Boundaries, Health & Using Your Voice
22:15 – Final Reflections for Highly Sensitive Viewers

📌 Mentioned in this episode:

*Previous video Esther and Maryanne did on Sound Sensitivity & HSPs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VskvI9W05VQ

*Maryanne Pope’s blog post on smell sensitivity:
https://www.pinkgazelle.com/2025/11/19/toxic-air-freshener/

👍 If this resonates, please like, comment, and share — it helps more highly sensitive people find this conversation.

Links

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https://www.youtube.com/@compassionateconversations441

www.estherkane.com

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Esther Kane, MSW, RCC

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00)

I'm here with my wonderful friend, Maryanne Pope to revisit one of the most popular episodes on the Compassionate Conversations podcast, which was about noise sensitivity. And you can watch that here and or listen to it. Maryanne is back today. We're going to do a follow up and I'm going to start because as you can tell, if you're watching this by my background, I'm not in my office. I am in Toronto for the month of November. Unfortunately, my mother has advanced dementia and I'm here trying to get the care for her that she needs. And also my office at home has been ripped from the studs. It's just basically outside wall now because there was a terrible mold infestation and it has been remediated and I won't have my office probably for another month and a half. I just want to talk about the tiny home, the noises. Now on the episode that you enjoyed or will enjoy that we did before, Maryanne and I were talking about how as HSPs, we're both sensitive to noise, but that we have different sensitivities. So my sensitivities tend to be around people noise.

At least that's what I thought until I was in the tiny home. And Maryanne was talking about outside noise drives her bonkers. So we're both going to talk about noise again, but ⁓ I just wanted to start with the irony of going to Toronto to escape the noise associated with my office being remediated. I came here. One of the big reasons was I thought it'd be too noisy because these guys would be digging out my office.

The fact is, they say make plans and God laughs. There's more noise in the tiny home than anywhere else I've ever lived in my entire life. So I have some voice memos that I thought would be fun to share with you folks. so they're there. Now, unfortunately, I didn't get the sound of the two young boys who play hockey next door. And they actually use the side of the tiny home as the wall to hit it against.

And it seems they're no yeah, their timing is amazing. They choose times only when I'm in session with clients and I sit against on this couch against the wall and that's exactly where they whack it. And there's two boys and they whack, whack, whack for could be up to three hours at a time.

Everything is loud. So this is about 350 square foot home. And here is each sound. Okay, here's dishwasher.

⁓ You can probably hear the train right now. There's a GO Train that goes by. So for those of you who don't know Toronto, if you live outside of Toronto proper, the GTA, you most likely have to take a GO Train to get to the suburbs. So this one goes by approximately, they told me it was, twice every hour. The way I counted it, it can be up to eight times an hour. So, I'll do the train next.

That was as loud as I could get, it's much worse than that normally and it actually shakes the tiny home. Okay, so dogs. So they have these vicious attack dogs right next door and every time I move they start barking or if they're out there or doing this. This is my favorite noise. Okay.

I think that one's wonderful. It's not people noise, but it's animal noise. And that one really drives me berserk. So ⁓Maryanne, ⁓ suffice to say that I think it's not just people noise. I don't like.

Yeah, and then there's constant construction as well. It sounds like anvil, bang, bang, bang, bang. And it's like repetitive, nonstop noise. There's an elementary school and the kids are let out, to run around and scream. And they do that quite often. Kids of that age really do that shrieking, the high pitch.

My followers don't know Maryanne has been traveling a lot tell us how much you've been traveling and where you are now and all about the noise traveling

Speaker 2 (04:34)

Okay, well first off, I'm really sorry about your tiny home being so noisy, because I know how much you were looking forward to having that, a room of one's own, some quiet time, especially when you're going through so much stress dealing with your mom, you know, and so much emotional stress as well too. So anyways, I'm so sorry to hear about that, but, ugh, I get it, I get it. It's just sometimes you hit these places and they're just horrible. So what can you do, right? And you're locked in for a month.

Speaker 1 (04:59)

I didn't even talk about how dirty the place is. Oh my God. The first two days, I think I spent total of 12 hours cleaning. you serious? It's disgusting. Not everybody has the same level of cleanliness I've learned. So, Not at all. Tell us more of your woes. Make us laugh, Ma.

Speaker 2 (05:22)

Okay, okay. All right, so noise and traveling. Well, when I was preparing for our today's discussion, ⁓ I wrote a lot of notes and I basically realized that as an HSP and a writer, that's a pretty tall order for the universe to be able to travel for three months with a travel companion. by the way, I'm not just an HSP and I'm a writer, I also live alone.

So I am now with someone for three weeks. It's a very noisy world. We're budget traveling. We're staying in some really, you know, not the greatest places that are noisy and stuff.

Speaker 1 (05:59)

Where are you?

Speaker 2 (06:01)

Now I'm in Siesta Key, Florida. It's Three's Company kind of vibe. Yeah. Golden Girls vibe. yeah. Love it. Okay. So here is by far the best place because Lynn's mom owns this place, owns this condo and it's gorgeous. So we're right on, sitting on a lagoon and then we walk across the street and go to a beautiful beach and then we take this free trolley and we go to one of the most beautiful beaches in America, Siesta Beach. So this is just, it's heaven here. So here.

Speaker 1 (06:03)

Oh, you're in Florida. Yeah, yeah, It's awesome, Bye.

Speaker 2 (06:28)

At the tail end of our journey, we've been on the road for three months. This is absolute, this is heaven for a writer for sure, because Lynn and I both do our quiet things in the morning. We've got our time to write in the morning, then we go to the beach and the pool in the afternoon and watch the stars and stuff. So it's actually perfect. However, the preceding three months leading up to it have been rather noisy, shall I say.

So how do I handle it as a person who doesn't like noise when I'm traveling about the world? And it's a noisy planet. There's 8 billion people out there and probably just as many cars and trains and planes and stuff. So yeah, it is freaking loud. So the number one thing that I do is I have ear protection. I wear earplugs and then I have my noise canceling headphones which are turned on oftentimes. And then if I really, really am irritated, then I will actually also have some soothing music going so I can sort of hear that as well through. So that's kind of my protection.

This time around, Lynn and I traveled last year together as well. So this time around, I added another layer, another level, if you will, of noise protection. And it's, I got this tip from you, Esther, is, what do you call that? A noise machine. So it's like one of those baby things they put. Yeah, yeah, white noise thing. So that's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (07:37)

My best friend, I put it on when my husband eats dinner.

Speaker 2 (07:41)

So I often will have that if Lynn and I needed to share a room, which we don't very often because we tend to get our own rooms because we learn that we need that because I mean, if I'm working and she's doing her thing, we need our own spaces. So I will often if I do have to share the room with her, like she snores and I snore. So I'll put the noise machine on that I just can't have it on too loud because I have my earphones in and then I have the noise machine. So then it's super loud for her. Right. So again, it's just it's been it's been it's been an experience.

There's just something interesting because I know we covered a lot about like external noises in the last podcast video that we did. Of course, just you know, for viewers who haven't seen that, like I'm just super sensitive to construction noise to traffic noise, to people screaming, talking loudly kind of noise, like any type of external noise like that, like I just am super sensitive. I always have been, but I'm even more so now because I wear so much ear protection. So my hearing is quite sensitive, even more than normal, I think now. So therefore when I'm going outside and I'm on the street and a car goes past it is pretty loud. this is life. I'm a highly sensitive person. I've got really good hearing and I also wear a lot of ear protection. So sort of like it all adds up to being very sensitive. But it's interesting.

Esther is here's a very, very interesting observation in terms of noise sensitivity. This is a huge light bulb moment that I really didn't get just on this trip that I've known before. But here's the thing about noise sensitivity. And I don't want to say this is noise, because I don't mean to be impolite. But you're a writer as well, Esther. So you understand this, and you're a deep thinker. So you're familiar with deep work, right? You get in there and you go deep and you need to have that quiet time. So that's where I spend a big hunk of money.

Speaker 1 (09:16)

Hours a day, need that-hours.

Speaker 2 (09:18)

hours a day, right? You're writing or you're thinking or you're doing all that deep work where you can't be.

Speaker 1 (09:23)

I'm talking out loud to myself while I'm waiting for the streetcar here.

Speaker 2 (09:27)

Exactly. that's where all the deep stuff is. when you go on a walk or on a break after that, okay, I'm not going to ask you because you can share your experience in a minute. But when I go on a walk from doing that deep mental intellectual work, then I'm also still thinking and processing, right? I'm still like there's still ideas coming in. I'm thinking about another scene in a screenplay or I'm thinking about a part of blog that I missed or whatever. And oftentimes, either I'm thinking or I'm not thinking, but the point is I'm quiet and my brain is still processing what I was working on. The difference when I'm traveling with someone because I don't live with someone is that I've lost that time. So when I go on my breaks, sometimes we'll be walking alone. And so there's someone talking at me and or talking to me. And that that has been a big adjustment. So we've had we've had to really work on having open and honest communication. 

And so I will go on my morning walks somewhere like in siesta key like this on my own because I need that time to think and to process and to just not have someone asking me because that constant interrupting which is just normal lovely human interaction between friends. I'm not saying anything against Lynn. This is what most people have in their life. They have kids, have spouses, they have siblings, Or parents or whatever people are talking to you. But I noticed because I spend so much time alone and because my work day and my weekends, I'm so much alone, I realized that at first I was actually quite resentful towards someone talking at me. talking to me, asking me questions when I'm walking or going on a train, look at that. Like I was just like constantly brought out of my reverie, if you will. And I found that really irritating. So I've kind of had to shuffle around and realize that I need my quiet time. And then when we're together, I'm okay with that because I've had my quiet time. So it's just a matter of figuring it all out. But I wanted to share that with you that, and I think probably a lot of HSPs and introverted people or people who do a lot of knowledge, deep work, knowledge workers who do deep work. It's not just when you got your headphones on and your laptop. It's also when you're going about your day doing yoga and puttering around doing dishes and laundry. You need that time to process. That is also when noises gets to you.

Speaker 1 (11:38)

That's how we, because we have to metabolize. HSPs, we have to chew through many layers of an experience. For example, if we go to, if we watch a really deep film or something at night, the next morning is like an hour, at least for me, like an hour of chewing through that and what it meant to me and making the connections. And I really need the sanctity of my own space and my own mind to do that. Yeah.

See, I'm in a marriage where luckily with my partner who's also an HSP, we just don't talk in the morning and we do our own processing and he goes and does his thing, I do mine. So I don't have that problem. But is your traveling companion an HSP?

Speaker 2 (12:23)

I think so, but I'm not exactly sure. She's very, very extroverted. Her energy comes from sharing and connecting and being with other people. Whereas I'm the exact opposite as an introvert, my energy comes. I'm really good with people, you know that, but I am at my core an introvert. my energy comes from being alone.

Speaker 1 (12:40)

That makes me laugh because when you compare the two of us, Ma, I feel like you're the extrovert and I'm the introvert. But I think you might be a slightly more extroverted HSP than some others. But at the same time, I think you might very well be an introvert because I know you can do that. I think I can't do what you do.

I can't go to a party with a whole bunch of people and be on. I just can't do that. I blow a fuse. just, yeah, whereas you can. And you can do that for a few days and then you collapse.

Speaker 2 (13:15)

do that. And you know, it's amazing the cruise that was another hunk of our journey. So we were in Greece and I was on my own for a little bit writing and then we were traveling through like Budapest and Vienna, Venice, all sorts of wonderful places in Europe for a month. Then we went on a two week transatlantic cruise from Barcelona, Spain to Tampa, Florida. So that is really interesting, right? I can be out there with the best of them dancing on that dance floor, chit chatting with everyone over dinner, you know, having a ball like that then I go back to my room and you won't see me till noon. I'm just reading happy as a clam. I don't need anyone around me. So, you know, I've got the mix.

Speaker 1 (13:48)

Yeah. Well, I have a little bit of that. I like, I love people. I love people's stories. I love just talking to people and getting to know them in little bits, but then I'm done. I can only do so much of that.

Speaker 2 (14:01)

Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (14:03)

Then I've got to hide away. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:06)

And yeah, me too. And so this has been a real challenge at times being with a friend for three months straight being with someone for three months straight. However, you know, like I think I'd said an email to you is that Lynn and I are very good friends and I do want to maintain the relationship. I love being with her and we have a ton of fun. it's just been a real I think it's a really good healthy life lesson for me. It's that you know what, there's always a way if you want to maintain that. And I do, we have a lot of fun traveling together and it's a different experience. We share things, we laugh, we eat, you know, we share meals, we talk, we make plans together. It's not as stressful traveling with someone else, right? Because we can both go and catch the bus or miss the train or whatever we're doing together. Whereas when you're on, you're always on. When you're on your own, you're always on. So it's lot more exhausting. But on the flip side, I get a lot more work done. So anyways, it's been an interesting experience. But I do this all the time. Like I'm traveling so much. what I've learned though, again, many lessons is that, you know, in terms of me getting my bigger writing projects, like screenplays and play scripts finished.

I do need to do more writing retreats on my own. and that's okay. And I will and then have some some trips where it's just like about having fun and exploring with a friend. That's cool, too. So it's all a balance and I'm continually figuring this out. So anyways, I think you wanted me to

Speaker 1 (15:23)

Yes, so I wanted to offer offer our followers a treat a little bonus at the end here of this little podcast and that was we want to give you a taste of what it's like for an HSP to deal with smell sensitivity Maryanne wrote a hilarious blog post which we will put in the show notes. So funny. I nearly peed myself laughing about smell sensitivity. So we'll end this little podcast episode with your story about, I think it was Milan, you were in Milan? Italy? Yeah. Okay, tell us.

Speaker 2 (15:59)

Okay, it was Milan. So we show up for this divey little studio was like a tiny little bed under the stairs for me. It was like Harry Potter bed. And then upstairs was like the studio bed where we put Lynn, because I wanted to be closer to the window and for making coffee because I'm up first. So we walk into the studio and the smell of air freshener was absolutely overpowering. Like it just about knocked me off.

Speaker 1 (16:22)

Was it one of the, like pine or what was the smell?

Speaker 2 (16:26)

It was more almost like, Febreze Febreze. It was horrible.

Speaker 1 (16:33)

Febreze makes me gag. That's horrible. It's so chemical.

Speaker 2 (16:38)

Yeah, it's so chemical. First off, I was like, ⁓ that's weird. It's super strong, right? And then we opened up the windows and it was totally like right on a busy, busy street. So it was like extremely loud. So I'm sitting there going, great. So what's worse the absolute stench of this air freshener or the the noise of the tram going by and the crazy traffic and horns honking and everyone screaming downstairs. I'm like, I will take the noise because that smell is a health hazard. Anyways.

Speaker 1 (17:04)

Wait, let's just stop there. So now the two intersected, the noise sensitivity and the smell sensitivity. And even though you're so, so sensitive to noise, you said that's a better option than the smell. Absolutely. So that's how bad it was.

Speaker 2 (17:17)

Yeah.

That's how bad it was. Absolutely how much I hate noise. Yeah. So it was. the noise I thought, well, the noise at least is temporary. Let's deal with that. Put on the headphones or whatever. Let it air out. So we left it open. We went out for dinner. We came back. The windows were still open. That smell had not reduced. I went to bed. The smell was so strong. I'm like, it in the sheets? Right? Like, it a laundry detergent? Is there a plug-in, Febreze plug-in, air freshener plug-in hidden under the bed?

Speaker 1 (17:47)

They were everywhere in Greece. They were in the place we're staying. These horrible chemical plugins.

Speaker 2 (17:54)

then yeah, yank those out. But I could not figure out the source, the smell, couldn't get rid of it. So I closed the window, whatever. I went to bed, woke up the next morning, still just as strong. And by this time, I'm feeling a bit nauseous. Lynn is hacking away upstairs. But get this, Lynn does not have a sense of smell. She has no sense of smell. So I'm the one who told her, I'm like, listen, this is bad. So I complained to the owner multiple times, one thing led to another. I'm like, we're pulling out of here. We paid for three nights. She goes, we can't just take it- take a wash on those next two nights. like, yeah, we can. It's that bad. She says, Are you serious? I'm like, you're coughing more. She was coughing so bad. It was brutal. So anyways, we pull up, we say to the guy, that's it, we're moving next door. She started coughing up black specks. Now this has compromised lung capacity at the best of times and asthma and she does have a cough, but it was that much worse. And so I both wonder maybe that was her way or her lungs way of getting the pollutants out of her system. She says she's never seen that before. Anyways, thank God those black specks stopped. it was awful. We complained to VRBO and we complained again to the owner that they wouldn't give us any of their money back. And they're just like, no, this was what you were probably laughing at is like when I went to the owner and I said, come on. So he comes over and he smells it he's like, that's the smell of clean. And I'm like, smell of clean at first I said that should dissipate why is it still smelling so strong then we found out there was probably mold in that apartment because we read one of the reviews there was mold in the apartment they probably what happened is they probably did a serious they went and sprayed every inch of that before we went into

Speaker 1 (19:24)

Like that's going to get rid of mold. It's going to cover the smell, make people ill.

Speaker 2 (19:30)

Yeah, after they cleaned it probably and then to get rid of whatever smell. don't know. I still can't figure it out because I mean, yeah, in Italy, there was a lot of air freshener smells, but it did dissipate after a while, right? That's what was weird about this apartment. anyways, it was just an and again, I know it's I'm super sensitive to smell, but I wouldn't say it was my sense of smell is anywhere near as sensitive as my sense of hearing.

Speaker 1 (19:52)

But I want to commend you on the agency that you had, that you chose to have, that you decided, no, this is unacceptable. And I'm not subjecting myself and my friend who has a compromised, you know, breathing system and we're out of here. I think that's a really good lesson because I think HSPs in general, we tend to just, freeze and just kind of roll over, play dead.

We don't often complain and are not often the squeaky wheel and we don't get what we want and we put up with substandard situations and circumstances that we don't have to. That's one thing that I must say about being in the tiny home. I have complained a lot and wow, I keep telling them this isn't working, that isn't working and that's the new me. I think it's also being.

⁓ postmenopausal Yes, actually there's a very funny Jewish joke about that Okay, there's a bunch of postmenopausal Jewish women sitting at a table in a restaurant They've been served the meal and the waiter comes back and he says is anything all right? For those watching listening Maybe that's your goal is to be a little bit more of a squeaky wheel and to assert yourself, we're not meant to be doormats. And even if we're quiet, we do need to use our voices. We have voices, we need to use them. And the thing is we're never mean or anything, we're kind people, we don't want to hurt anybody. So we're not going to be horribly offensive or say something abusive to somebody. So yeah, Maybe that's a little bit of homework for those who are listening or watching this is to, where can you take a stand, use your voice, and set some boundaries around things that aren't good for you.

Speaker 2 (21:34)

Well, exactly. And you know what, that's what made it crystal clear and super easy is because our health was at risk. So there was no question. And Lynn is a very, very prudent person. Like she's very fiscally aware. She loves budgets and a good deal and stuff. So she was very, very hesitant to walk away from two nights accommodation. And I'm like, I'll take the hit. I don't care. Of course, money matters to me, but my health is more important and I can smell what you can't. So I'm calling the shots on this and we are pulling out of here. If it was just something that was irritating, that's one thing, but I could tell that I was starting to get nauseous and I'm like, I'm not mucking around with my health. I absolutely refuse to. So it's funny what we find our voice on, but if it's not our health, what is it?

Speaker 1 (22:15)

Excellent. Okay, so why don't we end this there? Okay. Thank you for this conversation. It's been wonderful and I hope people get a lot out of it.