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gwunspoken
We know that now more than ever, there is a growing disconnection between parents and their teens, corporates and their employees, and human interactions in general.
This can cause stress, frustration and many arguments within families and the work environment.
gwunspoken looks at the challenges people of all ages have in their relationships with one another and provides experience and advice, allowing all parties to have a voice.... and feel heard.
Join us to hear corporates, parents, educators, teens and the latest advice of how we can in fact live the life we love, in making authentic interactions, because we know... authentic connection is everything.
gwunspoken
Rediscovering Rejuvenating Rest: Finding Your Third Space
Ever wake up feeling like you haven't slept at all? That sensation of true rejuvenation seems increasingly rare in our modern lives, yet it's exactly what sleep should provide—a complete reset for body and mind.
This episode takes you on a journey through personal memories of deeply restorative sleep experiences—from childhood nights spent under starlit country skies to recent adventures sleeping in swags on riverbanks. What made those nights so different? The answer might be simpler than you think: airflow. We explore how the quality and circulation of air while sleeping could be the missing element in your sleep environment.
Drawing insights from Dr. Adam Fraser's book "The Third Space," we examine how transitions between activities affect our mental state and how proper rest generates a cascade of positive effects. When we achieve quality sleep, we don't just feel less tired—we experience increased positive emotions, greater confidence, enhanced creativity, improved immunity, better stress management, and more meaningful social connections. These benefits form the foundation of our daily functioning, yet many of us accept compromised sleep as normal.
The episode concludes with a practical three-part challenge: identify what helps you achieve good rest, assess your current sleeping environment critically, and determine what immediate changes you can make to create more restorative sleep conditions. By focusing on these elements, particularly natural airflow, you might rediscover what it feels like to wake up truly rejuvenated—ready to face each day with energy and optimism rather than reaching for that third cup of coffee.
Try different approaches to your sleep environment this week and notice how small adjustments might lead to significant improvements in how you feel upon waking. Your next genuinely refreshing morning might be just a few changes away.
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Welcome to another edition of GW Unspoken, where we discuss stuff we don't typically talk about but probably should. And we're here with our sleep episodes and, wow, how are we going out there? I know that as I'm actually doing this audio live, it is bucketing down. We've just gone past or through the cyclone, and it's now turned out to not to be a cyclone, but it's still got a massive low pressure system going through, and so out here at Mount Tambourine escaped the bay to get up here, and we've got our two soaking wet dogs out here on the veranda. They're doing it tough and we're here, away from the kids at the moment, and so I thought I'd take this opportunity to talk about sleep and how you're feeling at the moment.
Speaker 1:When was the last time you felt truly rejuvenated and maybe refreshed after sleep? Because that's what sleep's supposed to do. It's supposed to reset us, and I remember when I used to go to my grandparents' place out at Chinchilla and mum and dad used to drop us off there. I remember back in the day you'd be asleep in the Kingswood and no seatbelts Sorry, police people out there no seatbelts. You'd be lying down flat on the ground of the station wagon and you'd be looking out at the stars and doing it on window down and just completely relaxed. As a kid I suppose it was a lot less stress when I was about 10 or 11, 12. But just loving that time. Once you got to Chinchilla and I know it was because it was just flat out there I know it was pretty warm typically in the summer months, but fishing, camping I think we used to shoot him for roos with Pa because he was on the land as well and he just felt so rejuvenated, he just felt so relaxed and he'd have a day out on the farm without any of these stimulating things like a lot of TV or Netflix or social media or gaming. None of that stuff was affecting you and just on the land. I remember nearly every day waking up, going, man, I'm refreshed, I'm so relaxed. I can sit on the veranda and have a cup of tea and biscuits with my grandparents and sit there for hours. I'm like an old rocking chair and not think I had to do something or be somewhere. And well, my life certainly changed after going to a few massage therapists and saying that the adrenals are so pumped up and and stressed and and you start thinking well, what's happened here. You, where has that nice place gone? And we felt the same, like my wife and I would go off to Dublin Point or off Tiwa where we're staying in a unit or in a swag on the beach up in the dunes.
Speaker 1:It's something about that quality of sleep you get when you've got that fresh breath. You know it's that airflow, it's that quality of air that comes through, that circulates, that I feel, gives you that better sleep. You think about your own place when you sleep with air con on. If you've got air con and no air con, when you get a fresh breeze coming through, I mean even having fans. I can dream so much more when I have fans, for some reason. I don't know if that's a good thing. But how do you go at your place? Is your house or your room where you sleep in? Is it congested too when the fact that your windows are closed in these hot months and you have the air con coming in, or have you actually got some kind of breeze coming through when you can that free-flowing breeze? Because I definitely think it makes a difference.
Speaker 1:I still think Chinchilla's story it's the same. I took my daughter out there last year. Again, we were in the swag on the riverbank and we went in wintertime, so it's freezing cold. Add some atmosphere with the fires, just beautiful out. There's just a treasured moment I'll never forget. And I just remember waking up, even if we went to bed 11, got up at five, complete rejuvenation, complete rest, complete reset. And I just wonder when was the last time you felt that? Because for me it it's hard to actually feel it. I don't feel like I'm overly stressed teaching at the moment, but I still feel like that I'm not completely rested when I wake up from day to day, not like I was in Riverbank and people might say, oh well, that's different, gary, because you weren't working then or you were on holidays then. You weren't, as a teacher, always governed by time and bells, always governed by time and bells. And I was having a laugh with the kids the other day saying you know, I've been listening to bells probably for about 40 years of my life now, and they just started laughing. And you are dictated by time and a lot of us are in our jobs and what we do. But is that really it, or is it really the airflow and the breath we're getting for an environment where we sleep? So I just want you to think about that and have a bit of a critical think about yourself. When you wake up, are you rejuvenated? Are you ready for a reset?
Speaker 1:I've been reading this book. I just finished. It called the Third Space. It's by Dr Adam Fraser. Now it's an older book, it's back in 2012.
Speaker 1:But the Third Space it's called Using Life's Little Transitions to find balance and happiness. And the doctor, adam Fraser, says we're all looking for happiness and you can't be happy all the time and you're best off having minor moments of happiness than really big bouts of happiness and then coming down and not being happy. And and I don't think that was a major part of the book but the major part he talked about was how, before any situation, there's a third space. And the third space happens between often a cause and effect. So coming home, as I come home, if I have a really bad day, the third space is actually the transition between when I actually walk in the door and how I'm going to feel when I meet my family and what mood they're in. And can I actually change my intention rather than expectation. And it's really interesting to think oh, it actually shapes that next conversation or shapes that next you can actually change the environment, for when you walk in and have those relationships with those loved ones or even at work, it might be a stressful meeting, but that could be really important to get that right. So he said number one reflect and then have that rest state and then you can reset, ready to go into the next section of whatever that conversation might be, for example, or that circumstance.
Speaker 1:And what I learned was and pardon me for reading this, but these are some of the things that he said that improves with rest. So, number one the rest will give you an increase in positive emotion. Now I want you to really think about this, because if you reflect on the last time, you were in a really good state and you had really positive emotion. These are the kind of things that can trick your brain. If you think about the neuroscience of it all, the connections when we have positive emotion from rest. Yes, we have positive emotion from other things, but if we purely say rest will actually improve us in having a positive emotion, these are the things you will have and improve more chance of success in anything. You'll have an increase in confidence, you'll have an increase in optimism, an increase in likability with the people around you. You'll have an increase in a belief in your own ability. You'll have an increased positive perception of others. How's that so? When you go into that second space after you set yourself up, you suddenly feel better because you have a positive perception of others you're going to meet, even if you don't typically get along with them or they're a hard person to get along with.
Speaker 1:Another big one I talk to the kids about is having an increase in energy. I think that's really important. Energy attracts people. Energy. When you're a leader and you have energy, it actually brings people along. They want to be energized. It actually improves your immunity and your health. It actually improves your overall health status.
Speaker 1:Again, this is from having positive emotions, from rest. It allows you to have an increased social ability when you're around other people. It helps you cope with stress better. It also helps you have more flexibility. It also helps you have more originality and creativity. So you think about when your brain is stressed it's very hard for you to focus. I know the amygdala gets turned on and fired up into that fight, freeze or fawn where you might not be having that thinking part of your brain on. But when you do get that rest and those positive emotions through your body. It means you can be more creative, you can actually relax, and I think that's the thing that can help us with our relationships as well. So, look, I want you to think about that.
Speaker 1:It's an awesome book. The third space a lot. It took me a while to get through it. Actually, I had it on the shelf for a while and read it in dribs and drabs and, just being out here with no power, no internet, thought I'd chuck it on or, sorry, read the rest of it and this was a paperback and the last 80 pages just flew through them by understanding the positivity you get from having a positive emotion and also that rest. So if you're feeling the negative, if you're not feeling like you're successful, or you're not optimistic or not creative, or you don't have time or you have poor energy, or you're getting sick fairly often or you can't cope with stress, you can get positive emotions through rest. So how can we improve that for you? The challenge for you today I'm suggesting is maybe try and get some nice airflow through where you are sleeping and if that's a possibility, then maybe that can actually improve that positive emotional view for getting better rest, better quality of rest, rather than just time.
Speaker 1:So here's your diary entry for the week. So number one is what helps you to get good rest and good sleep? Do you have a routine? Do you have that consistent practice that actually gets you to sleep? I know, if I do work before bed, I'm fired up. It takes me a couple of hours to get to sleep, so I've chosen now to get up early in the morning.
Speaker 1:So what do you do? This is about you. What helps you to get good, good rest and good sleep? Number two identify your current sleeping environment. Again, write these down. It makes more sense when you write it. I know you might be thinking I understand this, gary, it's fine, but if you write it down, it becomes more meaningful. So what's your current sleeping environment? Can you change that? Where you can get airflow? That's natural for yourself? And three what changes can you do to that environment right now to make it more positive and to rectify maybe some of those parts with your sleep pattern that's maybe giving you a negative emotion because you're not getting enough rest. So I want you to think about that. I want you to try different things, see if that works and then we'll join you next time on another episode of G-Dub and Spoken, where we can continue with sleep.