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gwunspoken
We know that now more than ever, there is a growing disconnection between parents and their teens, corporates and their employees, and human interactions in general.
This can cause stress, frustration and many arguments within families and the work environment.
gwunspoken looks at the challenges people of all ages have in their relationships with one another and provides experience and advice, allowing all parties to have a voice.... and feel heard.
Join us to hear corporates, parents, educators, teens and the latest advice of how we can in fact live the life we love, in making authentic interactions, because we know... authentic connection is everything.
gwunspoken
Beyond Toxic Positivity: Gratitude as a Life-Changing Practice
Forget everything you thought you knew about gratitude. In this refreshingly honest exploration, we crack open the massive misunderstanding around thankfulness and reveal why it's simultaneously one of our most underrated psychological tools.
The problem isn't gratitude itself—it's our approach. When gratitude becomes performative or is used to mask genuine feelings, it transforms into what researchers call "toxic positivity." You know the feeling—when someone chirps "just be grateful!" while you're struggling, and your brain responds with "thanks, that's fixed my entire nervous system." Studies show this forced gratitude actually increases stress rather than reducing it.
But genuine gratitude? That's where the magic happens. The neuroscience is compelling—authentic thankfulness triggers dopamine and serotonin release, creating measurable improvements in our mental well-being. Harvard researchers discovered just five minutes of daily gratitude practice led to a 25% happiness boost over ten weeks. Better yet, unlike other happiness pursuits, gratitude doesn't come with a financial cost or unpleasant side effects.
The most liberating truth? You can be grateful while still acknowledging difficulties. You can appreciate your home while feeling frustrated about rising costs. You can love your partner while occasionally needing space. True gratitude isn't about denying what's wrong—it's about noticing what's still right, even amid challenges. Through specific examples and practical journal prompts, you'll discover how to make gratitude work for you without compromising your boundaries or authentic feelings. Ready to transform gratitude from a hollow exercise into your psychological superpower? Listen now and discover why gratitude isn't a muzzle—it's a microphone that amplifies what truly matters in your life.
www.in8code.com
Well, hey, legends, and welcome back to GW Unspoken, the podcast, where we talk about things we don't typically talk about but probably should. I'm your host, gary Woodford, and today we're cracking onto something different that's hashtag massively and misunderstood and, ironically, wildly underrated, and that is gratefulness. So now, don't panic, I'm not going to go and tell you to write I'm grateful for my socks 100 times in a journal while meditating to whale music. No, we're going to go deeper, because gratefulness isn't just a nice to have, it's a power move. But that's only if we get it right.
Speaker 1:So what's the problem? Why does it often feel like fluff and fake? You've all heard it Be grateful, you have a job, at least you're not as bad off as other people, and so on. It could be worse. All that toxic positivity have you ever hear that? Do you ever hear that? And you think, thanks, karen, that's really fixed my entire nervous system. Because here's the thing Gratitude that's forced is just emotional masking tape, and emotional masking tape doesn't hold when life starts falling apart.
Speaker 1:Now I want to do some study here. I did some study and the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology says that, and here's word for word toxic gratitude that's when you force yourself to feel thankful when denying your true feelings can lead to more stress, not less. So, yep, gratitude can backfire when used to suppress, not express, all right, so why do we keep doing it? It's because we've been trained to see gratitude as a performance instead of actually a practice. So what does the brain say about gratitude? It lists out there. No, I love the neuroscience part of things, so don't worry, I'm not going to go full neuro nerd, but just to impress you at a barbecue. This is what it actually says. When we express genuine, authentic gratitude, we trigger two main chemicals in the brain, and they are you've heard them before dopamine and serotonin. Now, these are the happy neurotransmitters and they improve our mood, they increase pleasure, they reduce anxiety. So basically, they're the opposite of the feeling you get when your phone falls face down and you don't know if it's cracked or not.
Speaker 1:Here's another one that I've got for you for word for word from Harvard. They found that people who took just five minutes a day to reflect on what they were grateful for experienced a 25% increase in happiness over 10 weeks. Five minutes a day, 25% happier. Now, I don't know about you, but I've tried other things to be 25% happier, and most of them come in a shopping cart and regret after pay. So it's amazing, isn't it, gratitude? Guess what? It's free, it's fast, it doesn't come with a sugar crush or a credit card bill. It's there on standby for you when you need it. So here's where it gets spicy, though.
Speaker 1:Can you be grateful and still be angry? Can you love your life and still want to refund on parts of it? 100%, yes, yes, yes. Gratitude is not a permission to stay in toxic relationships, crappy jobs or broken systems. You know, you can be grateful for your home and still be frustrated with the rising cost of living. Now you can be thankful for your partner and still need to scream into a pillow occasionally. Who's been there, I'll be careful to say here. You can love your kids and still want to fake your own disappearance, also during the school holidays, which, ironically, is right now.
Speaker 1:All right, but gratitude isn't just about denying what's wrong. It's about noticing what is still right, and that's even in the middle of the mess. How's that for a challenge for you, and let me say this clearly for anyone who's been gaslit with positivity You're allowed to be grateful and still have boundaries. You're allowed to say thank you and no more, because gratitude without self-respect, that's just people pleasing in a pretty outfit. So how do we make gratefulness actually work? How do we actually get it right? How do you practice gratitude in a way that heals and empowers, without turning into a doormat or delusional Pinterest board? Here's a plan. So if you want to write this down, here's some suggestions that I've done with these research articles.
Speaker 1:Number one make it specific. Don't just say, for example, hey, I'm really grateful for my health. Say I'm grateful I can walk my dog without pain. It specifically lights up your brain and builds stronger emotional connections between those specific moments. Number two make it honest. Like, gratitude is not an escape from the truth, it's actually a deeper dive into it. You can be grateful and grieving so you know you can appreciate what's working while acknowledging also what's broken, and therefore you don't have that sort of fake thoughts about what's going on and hopefully it'll actually make you feel better and therefore you don't have that sort of fake thoughts about what's going on and hopefully it will actually make you feel better.
Speaker 1:Number three here's another one Make it small. It doesn't have to be that massive or grand. You can be grateful for finding a matching pair of socks. You can be grateful that the avocado was actually ripe for the first time. You cut into it. You can be grateful that you didn't send that passive-aggressive email that you drafted at 11.43 at night, or that social media text that maybe you're going to write. You know, gratitude grows in the ordinary, so you don't need fireworks, you just need to take notice.
Speaker 1:All right, so here we go. We talk about a call to action, we talk about ways that you can actually do this and prompt this yourself. So your journal prompts this week. And again, I like doing things in threes because that's how our brain remembers. So the three journaling prompts we've got. Take your time and don't rush them. Let them just sit with you.
Speaker 1:So here's number one what is one thing that you're genuinely grateful for today and why does it matter to you right now? So really dig into that emotional layer. Why that thing? Why today? All right, number two again, write these down. Number two where in my life am I pretending to be grateful but actually feeling resentful, overwhelmed or stuck? Now, this is your invitation to explore that tension honestly. So, again, you might be struggling with your patience, for example, and you might have had lack of sleep or not enough food for the day, and you might be really frustrated. But again, where? Where are you trying to pretend to be grateful, but you're feeling resentful? Write that down, because sometimes when we name it, we actually tame it.
Speaker 1:And number three how can you act on your gratitude this week without betraying your own boundaries? So, is there a thank you that needs to be spoken? Is there a gift to give, or maybe a no that honors what you've already given? So think about that. Think about how you can be grateful this week and use those general prompts to actually get your mind around what gratefulness does. Remember it actually improves those two hormones that we need, so dopamine and serotonin, those feel-good hormones, and it'll stop that cortisol coming through your body, that negative, that hormone that actually makes you feel that fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
Speaker 1:Try it. If you're feeling this way at the moment, you've got nothing to lose and it's free. Now, look, that's episode nine. It's in the books, it's done. And if this has landed for you or made you laugh, made you think, or made you feel seen, do me a favor. Share it with someone who's been told. You know, just be grateful. Just be grateful what you've got, because that's sometimes it's the best support you can have is this kind of ideas are coming through from research, because gratefulness isn't a muzzle, it's a microphone. Let's use it to amplify what matters. Until next time, remember we don't sugarcoat things, we soulcoat it. And thanks for listening for GW Unspoken. I'm Gary and I'm really grateful that you've been here this week. I'll catch you next week. Legends.