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gwunspoken
We know that now more than ever, there is a growing disconnection between parents and their teens, corporates and their employees, and human interactions in general.
This can cause stress, frustration and many arguments within families and the work environment.
gwunspoken looks at the challenges people of all ages have in their relationships with one another and provides experience and advice, allowing all parties to have a voice.... and feel heard.
Join us to hear corporates, parents, educators, teens and the latest advice of how we can in fact live the life we love, in making authentic interactions, because we know... authentic connection is everything.
gwunspoken
Navigating Grief with Gratitude
We've all been there: something heartbreaking happens and someone cheerfully tells us to "focus on the good memories" or "be grateful for the time you had." These well-meaning but misguided sentiments are what we call "grief washing"—using gratitude to bypass pain rather than truly processing it.
This episode dives deep into the complex relationship between gratitude and grief, exploring how these seemingly opposite emotions actually function as companions. Neuroscience reveals that while grief activates our limbic system and puts us in survival mode, acknowledging even tiny moments of gratitude can activate the prefrontal cortex, helping regulate those intense emotions without numbing them. Studies have shown that gratitude practices during grief can help regulate cortisol levels and provide an anchor during emotional chaos.
The most powerful revelation? You don't have to choose between feeling devastated and feeling grateful—they can coexist in the same breath. Grief tells us something mattered deeply to us, while gratitude acknowledges it still does. We explore practical approaches like creating a gratitude-grief jar, finding micro-moments of comfort, and using authentic language that honors both your pain and appreciation. The episode concludes with journal prompts to help you navigate your own grief journey with gentle gratitude as a companion.
Whether you're currently navigating loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers permission to feel everything: the pain, the peace, the what-ifs, and the thank-yous. Because gratitude isn't just for sunny days—sometimes it's the tiny spark that keeps us breathing until the light returns.
www.in8code.com
Welcome to another edition of GW Unspoken, where we discuss stuff we don't typically talk about but probably should. And we're here, coming to you to episode four of season nine. We're talking about gratitude. And this time we're talking about gratitude and grief and finding light when it's dark. We're going to step in the deep end of the pool today, and now you're probably saying and sighing no, please, gary, not today.
Speaker 1:Grief is off limits for gratitude. Please just stick with me, because this episode is not about looking at the bright side. It's about finding any light at all when you're in the dark. And let me be clear this one is not about fixing grief. It's about feeling it and still discovering where gratitude might gently land. And here's the problem, especially when gratitude feels impossible. Let's talk about that feeling we've all had.
Speaker 1:Something heartbreaking happens. You lose someone, something ends, your world shifts, the rug's pulled out from under you and someone says, hey, at least you still have those memories. Or don't worry, everything happens for a reason. You should be grateful for the time you had and you think, wow, thanks, that's helped me. Not at all. That's what we call grief washing. It's when gratitude is used to bypass pain rather than sit with it. So let me say this really clearly Gratitude is not the antidote to grief, it's not the solution, but it can be the companion, and this is how gratefulness can coexist with loss. There's a neuroscience to it. Grief activates what's called the limbic system, especially that part of the amygdala, the part of the brain where it registers fear, pain and emotional threat, and it puts us in a hyper-alert state, like we're trying to survive an emotional storm, and that's why grief feels so consuming. Now here's a twist when we allow ourselves to acknowledge even the tiniest specks of gratitude, like a hug, maybe a memory, a scent or a song, we activate the prefrontal cortex of the brain, and that helps regulate those intense emotions. There was a 2016 study in the Journal of Frontiers in Psychology and it showed that even low levels of gratitude practices in grief helped regulate cortisol levels and shorten the emotional recovery time after a loss, Not because it numbered the grief, but because it gave the brain an anchor in that chaos.
Speaker 1:So you can't be sad and grateful, or can you? Let's get to the controversial bit. There's this weird myth out there that if you're grateful, you should still be sad, or you shouldn't be sad or angry, or caught up on the floor listening to the same Ed Sheeran song for 40 minutes. But let me be clear. You can be grateful and devastated at the same time. You can miss someone every single day and still be grateful that you knew them. You can mourn what didn't happen and still appreciate what did. In fact, grief and gratitude are like emotional twins. They often show up together. Grief says this mattered and gratitude says guess what it what it still does. So now you don't have to choose. They can live in the same breath. You can whisper I miss you and right after that say thank you.
Speaker 1:So how do we practice gratitude through grief? This isn't about being okay with what happened. It's about not losing yourself completely inside it. And here's how you can begin gently reintroducing gratitude during grief. So, number one we've seen this before. Even with young kids do this. They create a gratitude grief jar.
Speaker 1:What that means is, every day or when you feel ready, you write down one thing you're grateful for, about the person, event or season. You're grieving about a scent, a laugh, something they taught you. Number two you find those in-the-moment comforts. Not everything has to be deep. You can be grateful for the sun on your face, a quiet morning or a cup of tea that didn't go cold before you drank it. These little micro-gratitude moments can build resilience for you. And number three you can use language that's real and not force. So try, this hurts, but I'm grateful for the love that made it hurt. Or I wouldn't change it even if it broke me. Or it's messy and I'm grateful for even that mess. So gratitude doesn't cure grief, but it can coexist with it, and sometimes that's enough just to keep you breathing.
Speaker 1:So here's some calls for actions. Here's some little journal prompts, the things we do in threes and the things I really encourage you to write down, because they do start making you change your actions and then your thoughts and feelings and your beliefs. So here's the prompts for the week. Number one what is something or someone that you can say you've lost but still feel thankful for, even if it hurts? So let that gratitude be raw, don't polish it, and so write that down.
Speaker 1:Number two what small comfort or moment or memory has helped carry you through your grief? Even the tiniest thing counts. Write that little thing down that helped you carry through that grief. Even the tiniest thing counts. Write that little thing down that helped you carry through that time. And three.
Speaker 1:If you could say one sentence of gratitude to that person, place or season you're grieving, what would it be Now? Don't overthink it, just let it come from your gut. So just remember at the end of this episode this is a sum up. Gratitude isn't just for same days. It belongs to the storm too. And if you're grieving right now, this episode is my hug for you. You're allowed to feel it the pain, the peace, the what ifs, the thank yous, all of it. And if this spoke to your heart, send us someone else who needs permission to feel both heavy and hopeful at the same time. And I'm Gary, and I really hope that you have learned something from this episode, or we can take it on board, because this is where we do speak from the heart, even when it's breaking. We'll catch you next week.