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We know that now more than ever, there is a growing disconnection between parents and their teens, corporates and their employees, and human interactions in general.
This can cause stress, frustration and many arguments within families and the work environment.
gwunspoken looks at the challenges people of all ages have in their relationships with one another and provides experience and advice, allowing all parties to have a voice.... and feel heard.
Join us to hear corporates, parents, educators, teens and the latest advice of how we can in fact live the life we love, in making authentic interactions, because we know... authentic connection is everything.
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The Mirror Effect: How Parent Mindfulness Shapes Children
Ever caught yourself yelling "Calm down!" at your kids while you're clearly anything but calm? That paradox sits at the heart of this revealing exploration of mindfulness in parenting. We're diving deep into an uncomfortable truth: children mirror our emotional states through their mirror neurons, absorbing our anxiety, reactivity, and stress like emotional sponges.
When we practice mindfulness as parents, something remarkable happens. Our internal chemistry shifts—increasing mood-boosting serotonin, connection-strengthening oxytocin, and stress-resilience DHEA, while decreasing that frantic stress hormone cortisol. Research from the Journal of Child and Family Studies confirms what many parents intuitively sense: children whose parents practice regular mindfulness show better emotional regulation, increased empathy, and fewer behavioral problems, even without formal mindfulness training themselves. Your inner stillness literally becomes their outer safety.
Mindfulness in family life doesn't require perfection or formal meditation retreats. It might look like stealing 60 seconds of bathroom solitude, taking three deep breaths before answering the same question for the eleventh time, or choosing not to battle over mismatched socks. The key lies in small, consistent moments where children can observe how you handle your emotions. This week, consider how you typically respond when overwhelmed, what simple mindfulness practices you could introduce into your family routine, and what might shift in your connection with your children if you regulated more consistently. Because mindfulness isn't about becoming the perfect parent—it's about becoming a present one. Share your experiences in the comments and join our community of parents navigating the messy, magical reality of mindful family life.
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Welcome to another edition of GWN Spoken, where we discuss stuff we don't typically talk about but probably should. And we're here for episode 4 of our mindfulness series, series 10. And we're going to talk about, well, the truth. The truth that parenting blogs and school newsletters probably don't tell you, and you know, it's just not for you, it's just not for your kids or just for your family, it's actually for the tiny humans that you're raising. While you're not well, while you're probably trying to lose your mind, and, if you're like me, there's been plenty of days when you felt like your parenting style was somewhere between semi-feral and just surviving. I mean, let's talk about how mindfulness helps us parents better. It helps us parent better, model, better, regulate ourselves so we don't pass down our chaos. But here's a problem. We talk a lot about kids being dysregulated and out of control and having emotional tornadoes. But here's the truth and here's the uncomfortable truth Kids actually mirror us. There's something in the brain called neurons and even from a young age, young babies actually copy what we do. So if we're anxious, reactive or on edge, guess what? They absorb it, because emotions are contagious and regulation is relational. Have you ever yelled out Oi, calm down. For example, at your children or your child, when you're clearly not calm, guilty, as charged. And that's where mindfulness comes in, not as a magical parenting fix, but as a break in the pattern. And when we practice mindfulness we do something incredible. We shift our internal chemistry. And here's what mindfulness has been scientifically proven to increase Number one, serotonin, and that's the stuff that sort of boosts our mood and improves emotional stability.
Speaker 1:We all love that feeling of that rush of serotonin. Oxytocin that's another hormone that strengthens our bonding and connection and it's vital for our parent-child relationships. We have a cuddle or we feel connected. We release lots of oxytocin. I've talked about it plenty of times in classrooms, where teachers need to have more group work, where kids number one they love being around their peers, especially as teenagers, but it makes them feel connected. And here's another one. It's called DHEA. It reduces the aging effects and improves stress resilience. So all parents out there, I'm pretty sure we all want to be looking better as well and making sure we're not aging as much. And here's another one this is probably one of the major ones we talked about and that's decreasing our cortisol, that stress hormone that floods your body when you're yelling about lunchboxes or screen time or just trying to get your kids off technology. So all of our bodies, all of our reactions, all the way we behave and our mood is regulated or dysregulated by these hormones. And it doesn't stop with us.
Speaker 1:Here's research. I'd like to connect some research in here. So the Journal of Child and Family Studies show that parents practice regular mindfulness. If they do, children show better emotional regulation, increased empathy that's a big one and reduced behavioral issues. So even when the kids never formally learn mindfulness themselves, the parents' regulation shapes that child's nervous system over time because of that connection, because of those mirror neurons. So just let that land for a bit. Your inner stillness becomes their outer safety.
Speaker 1:But here's another thing that's something that bothers me. We keep taking our kids, you know, or telling our kids hey, calm down and use their words or breathe regulate. But many of them are growing up in homes where adults are emotionally unavailable, reactive or disconnected. We ask them to master skill when we ourselves haven't fully embodied these emotions. This doesn't make us bad parents, it just makes us human. But it does mean we need to take responsibility and be aware of this, because kids don't learn emotional regulation through lectures. They learn it through watching you. They're watching you as a parent and take a breath instead of snapping. They learn it through watching you. They're watching you as a parent and take a breath instead of snapping. They learn it from feeling that you have when you go back to calm from your chaos. So look, don't get me wrong Practicing mindfulness in a household with kids.
Speaker 1:Believe me, with four kids it is tough. It's less Zen retreat and more like Woolies on a Saturday. Mindfulness may look like sitting on the toilet for 60 seconds of silence or taking three deep breaths before answering a question you've already asked, probably 11 times, maybe choosing not to fight over mismatched socks. That's one for me, but it counts. You don't need a retreat, you just need those little moments where kids can see you and mirror those and see, hey, it's okay to escalate, but then how do you actually get back from that escalation? So how do we build this mindfulness into our family without the drama or the fluff? Here's number one how about model it, don't mandate it? Kids won't do what you say, they'll do what you consistently live by. So you breathing through a moment is more powerful than 10 mindful kids books.
Speaker 1:Number two use everyday rituals. Try a 30-second mindful moment at a dinner table, in the car or while brushing your teeth. What do you notice right now? What's one thing you're grateful for today, for example? That's mindfulness. It's not deep, it's just consistent, and that's where our kids will learn from that. And how about? Number three narrate your regulation.
Speaker 1:Instead of silently calming down, say I'm feeling frustrated, so name it I'm feeling frustrated. I'm going to take three breaths. This teaches kids that emotions are actually okay and manageable. We've got to understand with our kids. It's okay to have escalations, it's part of our human nature. It's the cortisol that goes through our body. But what can we do to actually manage that? So here we are.
Speaker 1:Here's our three prompts this week. So again, I encourage you to write these down, because once you start writing things down, they get measured and they improve. Number one how do I typically respond when I feel overwhelmed and how does that shape the emotional tone in my own home? So what do you do? What do you typically do? Number two what simple mindfulness habits could you introduce into your family life this week that feels doable and not forced, what feels normalized, that you can do and your kids can actually see that?
Speaker 1:And number three if you were to generate your own regulation more often, what might shift in your connection with your child or children? What would it look like? How would it feel? And I wonder, if you do it this week, will the tone of your household change? Please make sure you write that in the comments, because mindfulness isn't about becoming the perfect parent. It's about becoming a present one. You're not failing if you lose it sometimes. You're not. You're human and everyone's doing their best with that, and the best thing you can do with your family is not about perfection. It's about being presence, and I'm Gary on GW Unspoken, and we're here to talk about the messy, magical and mindful moments that shape the way we live. And again, thanks for joining us for this episode.