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gwunspoken
We know that now more than ever, there is a growing disconnection between parents and their teens, corporates and their employees, and human interactions in general.
This can cause stress, frustration and many arguments within families and the work environment.
gwunspoken looks at the challenges people of all ages have in their relationships with one another and provides experience and advice, allowing all parties to have a voice.... and feel heard.
Join us to hear corporates, parents, educators, teens and the latest advice of how we can in fact live the life we love, in making authentic interactions, because we know... authentic connection is everything.
gwunspoken
Nothing Changes Until the Pain Exceeds Your Excuses
Ever wondered why we resist practices that could make our lives better? This candid exploration of mindfulness barriers tackles the excuses we make to avoid what might actually help us thrive.
Our discussion reveals the fascinating psychology behind resistance to change. We all claim we're too busy, that mindfulness isn't for us, or that we tried it once without success. Yet these same excuses keep us trapped in cycles of stress, leaving us depleted day after day. The science is clear - practices like intentional breathing reduce cortisol, enhance brain function, and improve wellbeing. Even elite NRL players incorporate breathwork into their performance routines!
The key insight? Mindfulness isn't one-size-fits-all. Your "mindfulness flavour" might be fireplace gazing, riverside walking, sunrise watching, or simply taking three deep breaths during a stressful moment. We share personal examples from reading books aloud at the waterfront to finding peace along a riverbank listening to cockatoos.
Drawing wisdom from thought leaders like Mel Robbins and Anthony Robbins, we explore how lasting change only happens when we genuinely want it - when the pain of our current patterns exceeds our fear of trying something new. The sobering reality is that "if nothing changes, nothing changes." Are you ready to break the cycle with just 30 seconds of focused attention?
Try our three powerful journal prompts to identify your excuses, name the negatives you want to eliminate, and discover which mindfulness activities might actually work for you. Your future self is desperately hoping you'll give this a chance.
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Welcome to another edition of GW Unspoken, where we discuss stuff we don't typically talk about but probably should, and we're talking about mindfulness in Season 10, episode 5. Four to go. We're over halfway after this episode. And how are you going with it? A lot of people are actually tuning in more than I thought because I thought mindfulness might be a bit fluffy for them, or, you know, I don't have time for that, gary, it's all up to you. You know, it's just what I've never done. None of my family ever does that does that. I've seen some people sitting in a triangle doing that before and clinging bells around in triangles. So that's not who I am. I don't know what's the excuse. I don't know. But why haven't we tried it? If our life is stressful and hard, which most people's are, and we run out of time each day and we have that lovely cortisol well, not so lovely cortisol running through our body, that fight or flight hormone that makes us stressed or anxious or getting ready to fight or flight, it's what's going to change. So so why don't we do it? Why don't we do something that actually makes us feel better? And what are the excuses? I just want to really unpack that quickly in this episode. It's about you, about you thinking about why. Why aren't you having a go at doing that? Or maybe you had a go and thought it doesn't work for me, but you've and you've stopped, when we know that there's different lots of mindfulness works for different people. So you know talking to a lot of people these days.
Speaker 1:I was lucky enough to be invited to a family the other day who unfortunately lost their boy about six or seven years ago and we were in a fireplace and I was just staring at the fire, just thinking this is mindful, this is community. We're all part of having a few drinks and lovely food and laughs and chatting around for a common cause, to celebrate this young boy's life. But just reaching in and looking into the firewall was just like this is just ridiculous, like your mind was reaching going. I'm just fully relaxed right now. So what are the things that make you relaxed? Let's talk about not to work or school or stress, whatever you might be doing. What are the things that make you? What's your flavour? Is it like? I love the riverbank. I love going out west, growing up with a family and they used to take us out to Chinchilla and walk on the riverbank with my pa and dad and set yellow-bellied lines and just being out there and hearing, you know, the crows and the cockatoos, and just being completely at peace out there.
Speaker 1:Rach and I often read a book to each other on the Esplanade at Scarborough and everyone laughs about that and thinks what the hell? We're nerds. It's okay because we just sit there on the Esplanade, it's beautiful and waterfront there and quiet. And I think last time we did it we were reading the Matthew McConaughey book Green Lights and it was just listening to each other read and just being in that moment and just being of stillness and have focused attention on doing that rather than being distracted.
Speaker 1:What are you doing? Is it something you like? Do you like listening to the birds or do you like listening to music? Or waking up in the morning and staring out the window and looking at the sunrise? Do you take nice deep breaths, like a lot of people say, when you're stressed? Just breathe, just breathe. And we know that oxygen to our brain actually does reduce cortisol. It does make us more focused. That prefrontal cortex of our brain, it makes it switch on. So why don't we take the time to take those few deep breaths throughout the day.
Speaker 1:You know NRL players are doing it now at halftime after a try has been scored. So there must be some research. Well, there is research, but there must be some links between you, maybe thinking is it worth me doing this if other people are doing it? Or the researcher is saying to do it, rather than just being maybe behind a guise of saying, well, it's never worked for me or I don't have time for that, or try that once. So what's your thing? What's your thing for mindfulness that you might be able to try and use and give it a go? And here's the scary thing I'm reading Mel Robbins' book. I read the Five Second Principle, which was awesome. I fully recommend that book. It's unbelievable. Now I'm at the end of the Tell them Theory and again talking about how you look after yourself when you can't control others. And that's the big thing now. I might be talking to you now and it might be resonating where you say, yeah, I am busy, I am flat out and I probably do need something, but this isn't it. I'm not willing to try this. And Mel Robbins says in her book that people only are willing to change when they want to change. So it doesn't matter what I probably say and some people might have influence, but it doesn't necessarily say they're going to do it.
Speaker 1:I think of a Seinfeld episode because I love Seinfeld and I love hearing about when it was time for trying to tell Elaine to try this new toothbrush and she goes, no, no, it's all right. And he's like, no, no, it's really good, you should try it, it's awesome. And she's like, no, I'm good. And he's like, no, I'm serious, this will change your life, it's awesome. She goes, no, I'm good. He's like I don't understand. I'm saying you know the better good of something or a behavior or a reaction or a consequence, and no, it's okay and I'll fail forward myself, you know.
Speaker 1:So it doesn't matter how much I say about mindfulness, don't say how much research people have done or other people tell you about mindfulness. It has to come from you to make that change and be willing to do that. So what's another way of doing that? Then, if you know, there's no use in me preaching here for eight episodes saying do it, do it, do it, do it. You know what's something that can change? Well, if you think of Anthony Robbins, another big thought leader, leader and I love this guy because he's just self-taught, self-read, self-educated. He says for yourself to want to make a change, you've got to hate the negative more than just try and hope. This new positive idea, for example, of mindfulness, works. So what is it going to do? What's the thing that you hate so much?
Speaker 1:Say, for example, you might say well, I'm sick of being busted by the end of every single day and chasing the clock and feeling angry and frustrated every single day and then just want to crawl into a hole, have food and sit quietly and watch tv and just not, and space out or keep doing work at night time, stress, go to bed and try and get to sleep without being too stressed and eventually, if those behaviors keep going over and over again and you get so sick and tired of feeling like that and having that probably epiphany going well, if nothing changes, nothing changes. So this is going to be my life for the next 30 or 40 years, my whole working life, or however many years you've got left. Your day is going to be like that, your attitude is going to be like that. You're going to feel like that all of the time. Nothing changes, nothing changes that. All of the time, nothing changes. Nothing changes.
Speaker 1:So what is the real pain point that you have that you're willing to say to your brain Okay, let's just give this 30 seconds today. Let's have some undivided focus, attention on something that just lets me be and be present and see if this actually works. And if it doesn't work, then there's plenty of apps or plenty of ideas to try out there. So I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear your thoughts around this. I'd love to see if this resonates for you. Is there enough pain points in your life to try something different and getting outside of your excuses of saying, well, I've tried that. I know people have done that. This doesn't work for me. I'm just built differently. You've had. Why not try something different if it is or has a chance of giving you a different result outside of that negative that you might be experiencing on a day-to-day basis?
Speaker 1:So, look, I always encourage you to do a journal prompt or journal entry, because once you write down and once you get measures improved or improved. So here's the three today. Number one write down the study journal, write down today's date and just go. The heading is why aren't I doing it? And then write two or three bullet points. Write down, get out of your system. Write down, get out of your brain and say, okay, these are my objections about doing mindfulness.
Speaker 1:Number two what behaviors, thoughts or feelings would you like to get rid of If mindfulness was the tool to fix everything, to get rid of it? What are those things that you hate on a daily basis, that frustrates you and cause that cortisol in your body? So write down that negative straight away and then maybe your brain's going to go ooh, maybe, ooh, it does suck. I actually don't like this about my life. Every single day, nothing will change unless something changes. It's on paper, I can see it and, yes, I'm frustrated by it. And number three what activity would you do? Maybe? What activities? Write down a few. What are the things that you would actually like to trial and practice? If this is the solution to having a day-to-day, that's much more enjoyable for yourself and for those around you. So try it out. See what you think. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings around that. But look, thanks again for joining us for Season 10, episode 5 in our Mindfulness Series.