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Breaking Free: Rewire Your Brain for Emotional Control

• Garry • Season 11 • Episode 1

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Ever feel like your mind is a battlefield? You're not alone. Beneath the surface of our daily struggles lies a fascinating truth about how our brains function—and more importantly, how they can change.

The journey toward emotional regulation begins with understanding that your brain isn't broken. That anxiety keeping you up at night, the stress making you snap at loved ones, or the emotional overwhelm threatening to derail your day—these are all your brain doing exactly what it's designed to do: protect you from perceived threats. But here's the revolutionary insight that neuroscience offers: your brain can be rewired at any age.

Through this episode, we explore a powerful three-step framework that transforms emotional chaos into calm control. You'll discover why simply naming your emotions actually calms your brain's alarm system, how tiny daily habits create lasting neural pathways, and why anchoring yourself in the present moment breaks the cycle of anxiety and depression. These science-backed techniques take just minutes of your day but can fundamentally shift your emotional landscape.

The World Health Organisation reports that one in eight people worldwide live with diagnosed mental health disorders, with countless others struggling silently. Whether you're dealing with workplace stress, relationship challenges, parenting pressures, or simply the background anxiety of modern life, these practical tools can help you respond rather than react, preserving your energy, relationships, and wellbeing.

Take the two-minute challenge this week: name one emotion daily, practice one brain hack, and use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise when triggered. Your brain is not your enemy but your ally—and with the right approach, you can build a calmer, stronger mind. Share this episode with someone who might need these insights, and join us next week as we explore resilience and self-esteem on GW Unspoken.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to another edition of GW Unspoken, where we discuss stuff I don't typically talk about but probably should. And we've just finished our series of health, of the innate code the eight things of fuel that makes up holistic health and well-being. And if you haven't had a chance to listen to those podcasts, maybe go back and have a listen to some of those things that may have well, I guess may resonate with you, but also that maybe I'll pass on to other people who may be struggling in life or just want to try and improve a few things. And everything we do on the podcast is being researched and also based on neuroscience. So I'm just a massive fan of neuroscience after working with Stronger Brains, because it's neuroscience, it's our brains are the captain of the ship. So while we try and get that in the best place we can, we're starting a new series now that hopefully you'll find interesting, and I love your feedback. I love people who are writing in and asking to add certain things or help with some of the situations they've got. If I can, that'd be great. Again, happy to research and try and find some information, but today I really want to talk about what are the main things that we struggle with? What are the main things we struggle with?

Speaker 1:

Socially and emotionally, because we are humans, are emotional beings. We don't often work on logic. I think one time I went into a place to buy a dishwasher and I was trying to get. We had a new house, I was trying to get a new dishwasher and at least getting some quotes. And I remember walking out with a coffee machine. I'm like what the hell just happened? And we get home, plug it in, all excited and as I was plugging in, I'm going there's still a hole in the space, space where the dishwasher is supposed to be. But I've now got a coffee machine. What just happened? And it's just buying an emotion. The sales guy was obviously awesome and I was very weak, but at the end of the day, we are emotional people and it doesn't necessarily mean we work on logic all the time.

Speaker 1:

So, look, when your mind feels like a battlefield, how can you find calm and regain control? And again, we're talking about mental health and emotional regulation for yourself right now. And before you go oh, this is too deep, whatever. How are you traveling right now, like if you're listening to this podcast, and no matter where you be gym walking, dog sitting at home. I don't know, maybe you're starting to cook, maybe you're just on the way to work, way to school. How are you traveling with your relationships? How are you traveling with your inner connection? How are you traveling with yourself? What are some things that you struggle with every single day? What are some things that are like Groundhog Day, which means they just happen over and over again and it's actually not improving? So you know, this affects everyone. So I want you to think about this.

Speaker 1:

Have you ever felt anxious, burnout or emotional all over the place? This episode's for you because here's one thing You're not broken. Your brain's actually doing what it's designed to do, but it can be rewired and that's the important thing to understand. You, the listener. You want to feel in control of your emotions. You want to wake up without a knot in your stomach, go through the day without snapping at people and maybe sleep without your brain running on high alert or the high reel every single day, thinking about the awkward things you've done throughout the day.

Speaker 1:

You know, sometimes people just live on the edge and that's a big problem. You know, sometimes people's anxiety just whispers what if this all goes wrong? Or your depression says what's the point. You know your stress is you working from place to place for survival instead of strategy, and that's what our brains are designed to do. They look to go away from danger, and so they look for survival. They look for all the dangers all the time.

Speaker 1:

And here's a saving truth, a fact I got from the World Health Organization. It says that one in eight people worldwide live with a diagnosed mental health disorder, and you've got to think about it. Many more are undiagnosed and they're silently struggling, and that's why I asked you to start. How are you actually traveling? Because, internally, most people are exhausted, not just physically but emotionally, and when people can't regulate their emotions and, for example, you can't regulate your emotion it impacts, yeah, your work and your health, but it also impacts those people around you and all those important relationships that you probably need in your life. And don't worry, I've been there, burning out, running on empty, feeling like my emotions were in the driver's seat. But look, here's the good news your brain is not fixed, and some people have heard about this before, and neuroscience has come a long way in the last 10, 12 years, but I think, even when I was teaching, it's really important that, once the students understood their brains could change and they had the ability to rewire itself. It means they could understand, have power to know they could change the way they could think, feel and react at any age. And you're no different.

Speaker 1:

And this isn't about pretending everything's fine. It's about building a mental toolkit to navigate life's ups and downs without losing your true, authentic self. So here's a three-step framework we'll walk through today really quickly. There's three things I want you to think about. Number one pause and name it. And that means this talks about why labeling your emotions takes away their power Really important. Done this before for relationships Really important, this one. Number two rewire the small habits.

Speaker 1:

Use micro-practices to retrain your brain. You know we do the same thing. Most of us do the same thing 80% of the time, and we think the same thing 80% from yesterday to today. 80%, right. If you're driving to work or driving to school or riding your bike, whatever, are you going exactly the same way you always do. Oh yes, gabe, it's faster. We do the same thing subconsciously 80% of the time. And the third thing anchor in the present. We just finished the mindfulness series, but granting yourself so you're not living in the future or past is so important for your mental health and social-emotional regulation, all right. So again, don't just listen to this episode and nod along. Pick one of these tools I shared today and actually try it this week and see how the neuroscience or the neuroplasticity works, see how repetition builds new neural pathways and see if there's a change in your behavior and your connections and therefore, maybe your improvement in your mental health.

Speaker 1:

Okay, here's the first one. Ready, pause and name it. Your amygdala, that part of your brain that's responsible for fear and emotional reactivity, calms down when you label what you're feeling. So, instead of saying I'm losing it, say something like I'm feeling anxious because I'm worried I'm going to miss this deadline, right, rather than say, oh, I just hate driving to work every single day, just say we just get so frustrated being banked up in traffic every single day, it just costs me so much time. Name it. Name it I'm frustrated, all right. And then say the reason why. Um, an american study found that effectively labeling things puts feelings into words and that significantly reduces the activity in the amygdala, that emotional center of your brain, and that allows your prefrontal cortex, that rational brain, that thinking party brain, to actually take the lead. So try it. I don't want to swear at your people around you, but try and say it. Just pause and name how you're feeling. I'm feeling frustrated because this breakup I'm really, it's breaking my heart. This has happened. I don't know if I'll ever get over this, but I'm so sad right now. All right, put it on paper, have a journal, say it out loud, say it to yourself in the mirror. All right doesn't mean you're going to be perfect the next day or two minutes later, but it actually starts getting that emotional brain calmed down because your thinking brain, more rational, comes over and resides in what's. That's what we need. All right, try it, no matter how silly it sounds.

Speaker 1:

Number two rewire those small habits. You know neuroscience works like this. Neurons that fire together work to wire together. So if you constantly rehearse stress in your brain, it becomes more and more stress. If you rehearse calm, even in microbursts, your brain starts to default there. So that sounds really easy to do. And it's not easy to do I'm not saying it is, but whatever you constantly rehearse in your thoughts becomes reality, because that's how our neural pathways work. They become thicker and stronger on what we keep telling it. So what are you telling your brain every single day what are the things. You wake up in the morning and go bang straight into instant stress. How can we start rewiring those little things, those little microbursts, to change that?

Speaker 1:

So here's some little hacks that we might be able to use. Have a two-minute breath reset. So do a four, seven, eight breathing and I found this really hard at the start so inhale for four through your nose, so a really deep inhale breath, hold for a massive seven seconds. So hold it and then breathe out slowly through your mouth for eight seconds. Alright, I was too worried about the numbers when I first did that, but after a while you do maybe three or four sets of that. It's just crazy how much that can actually slow things down like that. Too worried about the numbers when I first did that, but after a while you do maybe three or four sets of that. It's just crazy how much that can actually slow things down. Like that's a minute and a half, a minute and a half, two minutes to reset. Everyone can find two minutes of the day.

Speaker 1:

All right, how about this second one for a brain hack? Become maybe a gratitude shift. So write down three things you appreciate, even if they're tiny. What are three things right now? You know the power you get when you actually text someone, a friend, et cetera, how grateful you are for them and why, like, the feeling you get when you send that message is amazing. And if they send something back and say, look, thanks, that's awesome, we appreciate you too. It's like a double dopamine hit. You know, I tried that with my wife once sending her flowers. She asked what I did wrong. But it's important you actually say those words and get yourself out there and be vulnerable, because that's how you actually you know connect anyway, when you feel like you belong and can be vulnerable. All right, here's another brain hack.

Speaker 1:

Movement triggers Stand, stretch, walk every hour to break the stress cycle. We know that cortisol builds up in the body, testosterone builds up in the body. It can actually have that feeling of tight tension if you can't get rid of that release, that emotional release and physical release. Get up, move, stretch. Just do it for short bursts. Again, we tell ourselves we're too busy to do these things. Get up and move, get that cortisol out of your body Again. That can help you feel more calm. Relaxing medulla, the emotional center, prefrontal cortex, switches on thinking part of your brain More logical, less stress Makes sense. Okay, and here's number three anchor in the present. We talked about three things. So the first one we talked about was pause and aim it. Second one rewire the small habits. Third anchor in the present. So anxiety pulls you into the future. Depression drags you into the past, so mindfulness plants you in the now. It sort of breaks both of those cycles of anxiety and depression. So, again, simple grounding exercises.

Speaker 1:

I love doing this with a group of TAFE students once, and some are up to 65 years old and some were as young as 16, 17. But we did this one. We went outside and we were all standing on the veranda out at I think it was Bracken Ridge TAFE. I said, right, nice and quiet, everyone, just for a couple of minutes, and I'm going to get your feedback at the end, but I want you to be present. And we did the four, seven, eight, breath.

Speaker 1:

And then after that I said well, name five things you can see in your brain. Don't say it loud. And then I went okay, what's four things you can feel right now? So it would be your clothes on your skin, your hands on the rail, you know, the breeze hitting your face, your hair hitting your face, whatever it might be. You know three things. You can hear, two things you can actually smell which is actually a hard one to do and one thing you can taste. There's something still in your mouth you've had for lunch or you've had a drink. From it you can still taste. And that 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding exercise really gets people focused on the now, and I've had a couple of people at the end of that actually say this is awesome. Can we connect outside just to chat about some other strategies you've got, because I feel my brain is always thinking in the future and I do feel anxious Try those ones out. You've got nothing to lose if nothing has changed so far.

Speaker 1:

Here's another. I'd love to do the research to back up what we're talking about, but Harvard research found that people spend 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they're doing. People spend 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they're doing. You know, donald Miller, who's a massive into marketing, says that our brains 30% of the time are actually off wandering. They're not actually focused. So if 47% of our waking hours is thinking about something other than what we're doing. What happens? This wandering mind is linked to lower happiness, obviously because we can't be present.

Speaker 1:

You know, if you don't take control of your emotional regulation, you risk damaging relationships from overreactions, chronic health problems, from long-term stress, burnout that takes months or years to recover from, and also you just get into that cyclic habit. Again I ask this question when you wake up this morning, what was the things that you're worried or stressed about? Are you a person who gets up every single morning and you're refreshed and you're ready to go if the day had no stress? I've never met someone like that. Maybe you are out there, but surely there's times that you're struggling and worrying about failure or Groundhog Day things, where you do stress about certain things over and over again. So just remember, when you master your emotional regulation, you respond instead of react and you stop spiraling into what if?

Speaker 1:

Thinking. You feel more energy, clarity and peace. And you know what? Here's another hidden secret People love energy. People are attracted to energy. They want to be around. We want to be around people who are leading and know where they're going.

Speaker 1:

Look, here's some action steps for a week. Number one name one emotion per day as it comes up. Just name it. All right, write it down, say it out loud, put it on a whiteboard. Whatever you want to do, just name it. Two practice one brain hack, breathe, gratitude movement. Just do it daily. Just practice one. It doesn't have to be for long. And number three use a 5-4-3-2-1 grounding at least once when you feel triggered and don't rush the process. It's two minutes. It's two minutes In a 24-hour day. We might sleep for seven or eight hours. You can find two minutes in a 16-hour day to do that. No one's not too busy for two minutes. Okay, so here's some general prompts.

Speaker 1:

Number one what emotions do I feel most often and what patterns do I notice? Write it down, please. Again. What gets measured, improved? What emotions do you feel most often and what patterns do you notice? With that, we're identifying our neural pathways there.

Speaker 1:

Number two when in your day do you feel most in control of your emotions? Write down when usually in your day. And two when are you least in control? So mine's definitely when I wake up and the kids are still in bed and I make my first coffee and start to do some work, and that's when I feel in control of my emotions. Definitely then Leasing control, probably in between appointments, driving the car to the next appointment and need to be at my best and stressed out with time and location and making sure I'm in the right frame of mind for that person to help.

Speaker 1:

When's yours? And number three, if your brain is rewiring itself every single day which it does what new patterns do you want to create? Because you are the captain of a ship and your brain is not your enemy, it's actually your ally and you can change your emotional patterns. You can build a calmer and stronger mind. Start small, repeat often and let neuroplasticity do the rest. And if this episode has helped you, share it with someone who might need it. And next week we're tackling a topic we all need to hear about, and that's resilience and self-esteem. Thanks for joining me on GWM Spoken. Thank you.