.jpg)
gwunspoken
We know that now more than ever, there is a growing disconnection between parents and their teens, corporates and their employees, and human interactions in general.
This can cause stress, frustration and many arguments within families and the work environment.
gwunspoken looks at the challenges people of all ages have in their relationships with one another and provides experience and advice, allowing all parties to have a voice.... and feel heard.
Join us to hear corporates, parents, educators, teens and the latest advice of how we can in fact live the life we love, in making authentic interactions, because we know... authentic connection is everything.
gwunspoken
Building Unshakable Resilience When Life Knocks You Down
Have you ever stood in the wreckage of something you poured your heart into, wondering if you'd ever feel capable again? That feeling of being knocked down—whether in your career, relationships, or personal goals—is universal, yet our approach to getting back up determines everything that follows.
Resilience isn't something we're born with or without. It's a skill that can be systematically developed through consistent practice and intentional mindset shifts. In this episode, we explore a powerful three-step framework for building unshakable resilience: reframing your story, training your "grit muscle," and detaching your self-worth from external approval.
The American Psychological Association reports that 85% of adults have experienced at least one major confidence-shaking setback, but only a fraction actively work on rebuilding their resilience. This gap explains why so many of us come tantalisingly close to success before abandoning our dreams after disappointment. By understanding how your brain naturally gravitates toward negative interpretations and learning to consciously redirect those thoughts, you can transform how you respond to life's inevitable challenges.
Whether you're recovering from a recent setback or preparing yourself for future challenges, this episode offers practical steps to strengthen your resilience muscle. Try our seven-day grit challenge, practice an approval detox, or use our journal prompts to reflect on your resilience journey. Because at the end of the day, confidence isn't something you find—it's something you build, one small action at a time. What would you try next if you fully believed in your ability to handle whatever comes your way?
www.in8code.com
Welcome to another edition of GW Unspoken, where we discuss stuff we don't typically talk about but probably should. And we're here with our social, emotional well-being series and today's called Standing Back Up how to Build Unshakable Resilience and Self-Esteem, because we've all been there, we all have, and you know that We've been knocked down. We've doubted ourselves, we felt like the fear of failure was louder than probably our dream. We're not talking about just like when we're younger. We're talking about even as older people or middle-aged people, anyone out there who's actually tried something. So today we're talking about resilience and self-esteem and how to bounce back, believe in yourself again are going well, but especially when life gets messy and you want to believe in yourself enough to take those risks and try again after failing and understand your own worth without needing constant validation, it's tough and for people who've got a life experience, sometimes when you get those repeated knocks over time in a short period of time, it is hard to get back up Because right now you might feel shaken by a setback. That sort of left you feel doubting about your ability, afraid of trying again in case you fail, or even tired of hearing that. You just need confidence without being told how to build it. And the thing is, you want to trust yourself again, but deep down you're wondering if you cut out for the life you want. You're going to doubt yourself because 90% of the stuff we think about is often negative, and often the negative is more powerful than the positive. So here's a stat from the American Psychological Association. It says 85% of adults say they've experienced at least one major setback in their lives that changed or challenged their confidence, but only a fraction actively worked on rebuilding it. All right. So just imagine that. Imagine how many people have gone so close to success but because they've had those knocks, they can't keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:And look, I've been there. I know what it's like to stand in the wreckage of something you'll pour your heart out into and wonder if you're ever going to feel capable again. But here's what I've learned Resilience is not a personality trait, it's actually a skill and, like any skill, it can be learned, practiced and strengthened over time. So today I'm going to give you like a three-step resilience framework to help build, hopefully, that strength and power and to keep moving forward when you do have setbacks. So number one is going to be called reframe the story. So when you see the setback as a chapter, not the ending. It's really important when we reframe it. Number two you're going to train your grit muscle. So, like anything like when we do our bodybuilding or trying to strengthen the muscle, you build perseverance through small, repeated actions that are consistent, right, not just a big day and then live for three or four days because you're mentally fried. And the third one is you're going to detach from approval, and that's a big one, especially for our teens. So you're going to overcome the fear of failure and rejection by shifting where your worth comes from. That's, I think, the tough one. So please don't just listen to this episode and say, okay, yeah, that's nice. Take one step from this episode and put it into practice this week and just see how you go, because it's the only way to build resilience is to actually use it again, to use it consistently. So your brain is a storyteller, okay, so after a setback, it often writes a dramatic ending saying I'm not good enough. But the thing is, you get to edit that script Doing a bit of work in neuroscience. You are the captain of a ship. You get to change those neural pathways the more you actually do and believe these things Instead of saying I failed, say things like yep, I'm going to learn from that. I'm still learning, because neuroscience tells us this is powerful. So reframing engages your prefrontal cortex, that thinking part of your brain, and decision making, and helps you respond logically instead of emotionally.
Speaker 1:Here's number two, step two. So train your grit muscle. So the combination of passion and perseverance, so important, predicts the success more than talent or iq and that's from angela duckworth, university of pennsylvania, all right. So the combination of passion and perseverance that predicts success more than talent or the smarts. So how do we train that? How about we pick one small challenge that you'll commit to for seven days in a row, start building that habit, and how about you show up for it even when motivation disappears, because we know that action kills all those things. We actually want to say back and say no, it's too hard. I don't feel like it today. If we are emotional beings, but if we always just act on how we feel, nothing will get done or will get done in small bursts. Again, anything you think of, anything in your life, whether it's relationships, fitness, nutrition, anything you do, it's all about consistency, all right. And let that repetition teach your brain that you can actually push without discomfort, because each time you follow through, you're wiring your brain for resilience, and that's really important. And here's a tough one.
Speaker 1:Detached from approval, the fear of failure or rejection often comes from linking our self-worth to the outcome and also to what other people think and feel. So shift your focus from I'll be okay if I succeed to I'm okay because I'm showing up. Because when your worth is rooted in effort and growth, failure loses its power to define you, and that's really important. So if you avoid building resilience, setbacks will feel like dead ends instead of detours. You'll stop trying, you'll stop dreaming, you'll stay in the safe zone, which is rarely where growth happens and rarely where success happens. All right, I'm trying to tell my kids, or talk to my kids about this at the moment, saying just stop trying to worry about what people think, and success often comes from those hard times or through failure. It's getting up.
Speaker 1:Resilience, keep moving forward. Easier said than done, I understand, because when you build resilience and self-esteem, a few things happen. Number one you trust yourself to handle challenges All right. The other thing that happens when you build resilience and self-esteem is setbacks become stepping stones instead of stop signs. You're used to that You're used to actually going. No, this is part of the process. All right, some of it's not easy, but you can actually identify that. And three you feel grounded in who you are, not just what you can achieve. You know you're starting to become resilient and that becomes who you are, which makes success a lot easier to get to.
Speaker 1:So look, here's some action steps of the week. Number one write your reframe. Take one current or past setback and write a new interpretation that focuses on growth. Think about it. I can think about heaps where I've failed and now come forward a year or two years later and go. That's actually a stepping stone. Now. That actually built resilience in some other area, all right.
Speaker 1:Number two pick a grit challenge. Choose a daily habit to commit to for seven days, no matter what. Could it be walking every single day, getting up an extra 20 minutes earlier, which is tough? Could you actually stop scrolling for 20 minutes and read a book in an area that you're passionate about? It's not going to be easy Nothing is easy but you can do it. And third, have an approval detox. Go one full day without seeking a reassurance for your decisions and just trust who you are. Trust yourself.
Speaker 1:So, look, as you know, I like to finish off with a bit of a challenge and to get you to write down some journal prompts, because what gets measured improves. What we write down uses more neural pathways, which means there's a chance that it's going to come to fruition. So here's number one what was the last time, or when was the last time, that you bounced back from something you thought would break yourself? Write it down, actually, go through that. Number two what's one area of your life where you're still afraid of failing, and why? Write it down? Write down, why Get those feelings out on paper.
Speaker 1:And number three if you fully believe in your ability to handle setbacks, what would you try next? What would you do? That's a really powerful one. It's probably a fun one for you as well. All right, because at the end of the day, you're stronger than you think and you're allowed to rebuild your confidence, one small action at a time. Start today, practice this week, watch who you become over time, and if this episode has spoke to you, please share it with somebody else who is rebuilding their resilience. Until next time, be kind to yourself and remember confidence isn't something you find, it's something you build. We'll catch you next time on GW Unspoken.