gwunspoken

Designing Healthy Routines With Systems, Not Grit

• Garry • Season 2 • Episode 1

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The truth about habits is far kinder than the grind-culture myth: you don’t need more willpower, you need better design. We pull back the curtain on the brain’s limits, explaining how decision fatigue quietly drains the prefrontal cortex and why 9 pm cravings are biology, not failure. From there, we build a smarter path—one that uses environment design, habit stacking, and genuine human connection to make healthy choices the easy choices.

We break down practical moves you can use today. Think shelf control instead of self-control, like removing trigger foods and laying out shoes by the door. Stack new actions onto existing routines—coffee then squats, teeth then breathwork, feed the dog then message a friend—to create cues that don’t rely on motivation. Most of all, we lean into belonging. Harvard’s research on connection shows that friendships and accountability drive sustainable change; oxytocin soothes stress and keeps momentum alive when enthusiasm fades.

To help you turn insight into action, we share a five-part plan: automate good decisions, make it social, start tiny, celebrate consistency over perfection, and build connection. You’ll also get three journalling prompts to personalise your system and anchor your goals to emotion, because feelings drive behaviour more than logic. If you’re tired of white-knuckling your way through resolutions, this conversation offers a humane, science-backed reset that fits real life.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a mate who’s been hard on themselves, and leave a quick review so more people can find practical, compassionate tools for change.

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to GW Unspoken, where we discuss stuff we don't typically talk about, but probably should, and I'm Gary, and today we're kicking off season two healthy habits and lifestyle design. Now, if you've ever tried to quit sugar, start jogging, maybe meditate daily, or go a whole week without scrolling TikTok before bed, you already know this truth. Willpower does not work. Look, you can have the best intentions, the most inspiring YouTube playlist, and even a fridge full of kale, but by Friday night you're still sitting there eating a block of chocolate watching the block. Does it sound familiar? Yeah, me too. And here's the thing: you're not weak. You're actually human. And your brain was built for survival, not self-improvement. And so, as you know, I love this. I love the neuroscience behind things. I think that's it's the thing that makes us do things and behave the way we do. So let's bring a bit of neuroscience in here. Finding your brain that handles willpower, the thinking part, that prefrontal cortex, is like a tiny office worker sitting in a sea of emotional chaos, trying to keep the lights on. So every time you resist temptation, it drains energy from that office worker. And you know what? By 2:33 o'clock, he or she's tired, underpaid, and probably scrolling eBay for a jet ski that he or she will never buy. And that's called decision fatigue. Every choice, what to wear, what to eat, which email to open or reply to, it slowly depletes your brain's glucose and that willpower reserve. So when you grab that extra biscuit at Rentea, it's actually not weakness, it's actually your biology. And we live in a culture that idolises discipline. You know, you heard these ones there, try harder, just push through, just be stronger. Maybe it's ourselves telling that to ourselves. But let's be honest, Aussies don't respond well to being told try harder. We're more of a have a crack than grab a coffee kind of people. The truth is, people who succeed at healthy habits don't rely on willpower at all. They rely on systems, structure, and connection. So what works, here's what the science tells actually works. So maybe we can try this. A. Design your environment. If you want to eat healthier, don't rely on self-control, rely on shelf control. And if the Tim Tams aren't in the cupboard, they can't whisper your name at 9 p.m. Man, that was a bad one for me. Tim Tams, my nemesis. Your brain is wired for ease, not effort. So set up your environment to make things, I guess, the right things and the easy thing. Keep water within reach, prep lunch before work, maybe put your shoes beside the door so you're ready for a walk in the morning to get up a bit earlier. Little environmental nudges can override that tired prefrontal office worker you mentioned earlier. Here's another one B. Habit stacking. This one comes from one of my favourite books called Atomic Habits by James Clear. You know, don't start from scratch. Add a new habit to an existing one. Like, for example, after I make my morning coffee, I'll do 10 swats. Or after I brush my teeth, I'll take five deep slow breasts. Or after I feed the dog, I'll send a context to someone who I really care about. So do you see what we did there? The last one builds connection, and connection is one of the most powerful motivators we actually have. C. Connect, don't isolate. Because let's let's talk about connection for a minute. Studies from Harvard, the longest running happiness study in history, found that authentic human connection is the number one predictor of long-term health and happiness. You like that? It's not having things, it's not necessarily going to certain places because usually have to come back from those places and go back to routine in your normal life. Right? Authentic human connection. So not diet, not exercise, not even money, connection. When you share your goals with someone, walk together, cook together, check in together, you create accountability, joy, and that beautiful hormone oxytocin. And that's the chemical recipe that keeps habits alive. That bonding hormone, oxytocin, counterbalances counterbalances cortisol, stress hormone, that usually sabotages all of our efforts. So if you've got a walking buddy or even a text chain that keeps you accountable, you're already hacking your own biology. And look, let's take an example from everyday Aussie Life. Every January, gyms are packed with people armed with willpower and new gym tights. By February, the car parks are empty. But look at the people who stay. They are not the most disciplined. They're the ones who've connected. They've made friends at the gym, they chat with the trainer, they join the same time slot every week. It's not willpower keeping there, it's belonging. Belonging to something. Same with any healthy habit. You'll show up for others long before you show up for yourself. And that's why connection is the ultimate life hack. So here's your plan. Number one, automate good decisions. Plan meals, set reminders, or use apps that nudge you. Two, make it social. Involve others. Join a group, or at least tell them mate what you're up to or what you're about to start or what you're doing. Three, start ridiculously small. Two minutes of movement, one minute of mindfulness. Because once you have regular, small success, it compounds into great habits. Four, celebrate consistency and not perfection. You don't have to run a marathon. Walking around the block actually counts. It's actually a start. It's different from being on the couch. And five, build connection. Share your wins, struggles, and laugh with others. That's what rewires your brain for sustainable change. I want you to imagine this now. Six months from now, you wake up feeling clear, calm, and con and content. You've built routines that fit your life. You're not fighting against it. You move because you want to, not because you should. You're surrounded by people who lift you up, not drain you. You feel grounded, connected, and confident. You know what? That's actually not a fantasy. That's what happens when you stop relying on willpower and start designing your life intentionally. And look, before you finish, grab your journal. Just take a quiet moment. Here are three prompts I'd like you to reflect on. Number one, what's one habit that you keep trying to force with willpower instead of designing it to fit naturally? Dot it down. Just one. Number two, who in your life helps you genuinely feel connected and supported? And then how can you involve them in your goals? Who won't be judgmental, be there for you, know you when you're having a tough day. Inspire you, motivate you, be accountable to. Write the name down. And three, if you designed your ideal day around energy, joy, and connection, not perfection, what would that day look like? Once you actually attach emotion to your goal, it is a lot easier to connect to that goal and reach that goal because we are actually emotive humans. What I mean by that is we generally do behaviors based on how we feel. You think about it, how many times do you actually logically know what you should be doing on a day? Do I logically know that I should sleep well, eat well, exercise and drink water? Yes I do. I know that. So why don't I do it every single day? Because maybe I don't feel like it. It's easy just to chill on the couch than to run the dogs in the morning. It's easy to grab a really quick takeaway snack on the road rather than pack my lunch early, it's gonna take longer. Right? It's a feeling we get of going, this is easier, I don't feel like it. So think about that. How can you hack your environment to make those changes? Because just remember, change isn't about trying harder, it's about connecting deeper to yourself, your environment, and the people who make you feel alive. And look, thanks for listening to this episode of GW Unspoken. If you've enjoyed today's episode, share it. Share it with someone who's been beating themselves up for not having enough willpower. Because maybe what they really need is some authentic connection.