Women's Mental Health Podcast

Nuerospicy: Embracing your Neurodiversity (ADHD, Autism, OCD and more)

Subscriber Episode • • Randi Owsley MSW and Jessica Bullwinkle LMFT • Season 3 • Episode 16

Share episode

This episode is only available to subscribers.

Women's Mental Health Podcast +

The Women’s Mental Health Podcast is now subscription-based!

In today's episode, we're peeling back the layers of what it means to navigate life as a neurospicy woman. Imagine finding strength in what makes you you, and embracing every nuance of your neurodiversity with courage and love. Join Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, both esteemed psychotherapists specializing in women's mental health, unveil the beauty and empowerment in being a neurospicy woman. Together, they'll explore empowering neurodiverse women, celebrating neurospicy women, and providing an empathetic guide to embracing neurodiversity empowerment. You are not alone on this journey. Let's explore and celebrate the path to mental wellness, infused with the colorful essence of neurodiversity.

In the heart of our journey lies the strength of celebrating neurospicy women, where each story is a melody of resilience and undying spirit. This is a space where neurodiversity female voices echo, crafting an empathetic guide to neurodiversity that reaches out to you, whispering words of encouragement and understanding. Our commitment is to empower you with coping skills and tools, ensuring that managing neurodiversity and enhancing women's well-being isn't just a goal but a journey we undertake together, arm in arm. Here, the resilience of neurospicy women illuminates the path, providing both shelter and inspiration. Dive into our resources, let our stories envelop you, and remember, your neurodiversity is not just a part of you; it's a testament to your incredible resilience and an integral piece of your well-being.

In the episodes to come, we'll wrap our arms around every listener, offering inclusive mental health support that honors the richness of the neurodiverse experience. We'll weave wellness into each thread of our discussion, ensuring that your journey is as full and vibrant as you are. So, here's to us, the courageous women thriving with every shade of neurodiversity, and here's to the collective strength and beauty we share.

FAQ
What does "Neurospicy" mean?
How does Neurospicy empower individuals within the neurodivergent community?What are some examples of Neurospicy?
How can embracing the concept of Neurospicy benefit those who are neurodivergent?
Do neurodivergent individuals use Neurospicy as a source of strength?
How can allies and supporters of the neurodiverse community honor and respect the concept of Neurospicy?
Is Neurospicy a widely recognized term within mental health?
In what ways can embracing Neurospicy contribute to breaking the stigma surrounding neurodiversity and mental health?
How can individuals integrate the concept of Neuro

Send us a text

Unlock the Full Experience with Our Premium Subscription

$7.00/month

If you've found value in our weekly episodes and want to dive deeper into the stories, science, and strategies for thriving mental health, our Premium Subscription is for you.

https://www.womensmentalhealthpodcast.com/join/

Subscribe now to listen to all episodes: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2023530/subscribe

Stay Connected! Instagram | Facebook | Website + Resources
The Women’s Mental Health Podcast, hosted by licensed therapists Randi Owsley MSW and Jessica Bullwinkle LMFT, PMH-C, offers educational and entertaining mental health content. This is not therapy or a substitute for professional care. No therapeutic relationship is formed by listening or engaging. Some links may be affiliate links, which may earn us a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Randi:

Welcome back to the Women's Mental Health Podcast. I'm Randi. And I'm Jess. And we're two licensed psychotherapists. This is a safe space where we talk about mental health, well being, and strategies for coping with life's challenges. And how

Jess:

all of this is normal. And you are

Randi:

not alone.

Jess:

Today we're going to talk about the significance of NeuroSpicy as a symbol of resilience, creativity, and pride within the neurodivergent community.

Randi:

And we will talk about that, but you can find us and more resources on our website, womensmentalhealthpodcast. com.

Jess:

Have you ever had these

Randi:

thoughts? What does NeuroSpicy mean, especially in the context of neurodiversity? NeuroSpicy.

Jess:

NeuroSpicy. How does NeuroSpicy empower individuals within the neurodivergent

Randi:

community? What are some examples of being NeuroSpicy?

Jess:

How can we embrace the concept of NeuroSpicy, and how can it benefit, or how does it benefit the community?

Randi:

Do neurodivergent individuals use NeuroSpicy as a source of strength, especially when they're facing, hard life challenges? Yeah, I

Jess:

was thinking, are we making fun of ourselves? is it one of those fun things that, we do? I was thinking about that too. how can allies and supporters of the neurodivergent community honor and respect the concept of NeuroSpicy?

Randi:

And is neuro spicy a widely recognized term, especially in the mental health and neurodivergent community?

Jess:

I've used

Randi:

it for a while, but yeah, and I think it's gotten popular because of social media and TikTok but it's actually like the number one searched mental health term, in the past year. it's very popular coined slang term. That's interesting.

Jess:

Okay. So how can we also help people understand, neuro divergence and being neuro

Randi:

spicy. And in what ways can we really embrace, like we were talking about being neuro spicy and I think that's kind of like what it is. It's about embracing your neuro divergency and letting go of the stigma around it. Like you said, kind of playful in a way, but yes, I am this way and I own it.

Jess:

So then, here we go. How can we integrate the concept of neurospicy into our everyday efforts, in order to support and uplift ourselves and others who are just like us, to normalize

Randi:

it? Let's dive into that. Neurospicy is a term that really celebrates individuals with, unique neurological traits or experiences that diverge from the societal norm. So, when we say neurological traits or neurodivergent, what do we mean?

Jess:

Different. Neurological traits, um, Fuck, I don't know. I even forgot what you just said. Sorry. I was like, wait, I'm answering. What was your question again?

Randi:

No, no, no, really. Okay. So, when we say neurodiversity and neurological traits, what do we mean? Okay. Sorry.

Jess:

Cause I like ADHD out of there for a second. people who are divergent, their brains are what we would call normal, but we don't want to say normal and not normal because that's kind of like saying

Randi:

baseline for what scientists believe is

Jess:

normal. Is divergent. When you're neuro divergent your brain operates different than say other people's. Right. meaning that there's a lot of different things that fall under neurodivergency,

Randi:

So medical disorders, learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, so many things come under this umbrella of being neurodivergent. So that's why this term neuro spicy kind of this playful term can be used by so many different people in the mental health and physical health. all over the world, the community as a whole. And

Jess:

I'd like to say my house is very neuro spicy because we have one brain who's dyslexic. We have two brains, maybe three that are ADHD, one of those brains is highly anxious. Right. And so all of that is just neuro divergent. And so, in my house, it's very common to walk in and find a cabinet open. Yeah. With nobody there. And you're like, um, what just happened? Yeah. Who's, what are you guys doing? And so we're always going, okay, pick that up. Do this. It's just little things, but it's being neurodivergent or neurospicy. And so why do they call it neurospicy though? that's the

Randi:

fun thing. Because I think it's just like the concept or the idea that really we have this unique strength. within ourselves. And especially within the neurodiverse community. If you know what it's like to be ADHD, or you know what it's like to be on the spectrum you kind of have this playful way to introduce people I think that it shows that it's a strength, like, I'm kind of like all over the place, but it's okay, because I'm neuros. The

Jess:

way the term actually started because neuro is what we're talking about with the brain, right? And then the spicy is, something like a vibrant or flavorful, like your little dance that you all didn't see is very full of life.

Randi:

Shimmy, shimmy, shake. and I love that, that Spicy is just this pow, this amazing, this yes, and, and just celebrating that your brain works differently, and that's okay. Spicy.

Jess:

Yeah, cause it's, you would think that spicy, it's hot, it's fun, it's, you know. Right. I don't know. Peppers. but that's what I see when I see Neuro Spicy. You see these little, shirts that have the Neuro Spicy with the little red pepper on it. And you're like, spicy.

Randi:

Right. And I just think it makes me smile when I hear the word. it just makes me laugh and giggle because I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm dancing again. I'm like, yeah, I'm spicy.

Jess:

spicy pepper. Yeah.

Randi:

I think that it's just fun to celebrate and not put yourself in a box. I think it's great,

Jess:

because if you say you're neuro spicy, you also don't have to necessarily call out what you are. It's nice to have that nice little term.

Randi:

A

Jess:

label without a label. Exactly, because you don't have to be like, oh, I'm ADHD, OCD, anxiety. Right. depressed or any

Randi:

of that. Or I'm dyslexic or I'm, or I have autism or I'm somewhere on the spectrum. I'm just neuro spicy. Okay. So just,

Jess:

I think we're all somewhere on the spectrum. all of our brains are a little different. We're just finding more and more out about it. And

Randi:

I think that it's great to think that all of us are somewhere on the spectrum, because we really shouldn't be put into a box, that we should think a certain way, we should act a certain way, we should have certain behaviors. why should we? I think a lot of times we have an especially our history and the past is that we have just labeled So it helps us understand them. But then it does a disservice to all the beautiful hues that we can be

Jess:

exactly. It's the Waldorf school versus, regular brick and mortar school.

Randi:

Yeah. Or Montessori versus public school, even public school versus private school there's not a one size fit all. Yeah. For everybody. But if you go to

Jess:

a public school, a regular brick and mortar public school, they expect it to be that way. They want 36 kids to all sit in their chairs and all be, behave for eight hours, hours a day and behave and act the same way. Mm-Hmm. Which is why we have all these five oh fours. And if you need to know what that is, we have a podcast on it. Yep. But we have all these five oh fours for our kids because they're not that way. Right. And maybe if we were allowing them more. freedom and less structure in that sense, like contain structure, maybe these kids would do better and we wouldn't have to do all of this medication

Randi:

and we probably wouldn't be so far behind in learning compared to other countries. Exactly. I'm just saying. All right. Well, that was a weird toolbox that we just got off on. But it's also important to understand too that a lot of women who are neurodivergent present differently from those of our male counterparts. and at different stages in our life too. Like Jess and I were both diagnosed late in life. Like

Jess:

late, I want to say early forties for me. Yeah,

Randi:

I was 40. and because We didn't present as being hyperactive, I always thought of ADHD as being a hyperactive boy, like bouncing off the walls and didn't understand that there was so many other, faucets to it of, girls usually internalize it. Yeah, I always

Jess:

got mood disorder or anxiety.

Randi:

Mm hmm. Yeah, and I was told I was anxious my whole life, and I was like, oh, wow, now I don't need to take anxiety medication because I'm on the right medication. I'm not anxious all the time. This can really impact us as women because if we're underdiagnosed or undiagnosed or, we've been labeled, like we said, and I think also to the label ADHD in a way does a disservice because people think it's, you know, attention when there's so many other levels to it. And it's really a neurological disorder. when we are impacted by these things, we can isolate ourselves and we, it creates more anxiety or more depression and. more misconceptions about this. And that makes it really challenging for us to navigate our needs and what can accommodate us as someone who is neurodivergent in a divergent world.

Jess:

It's interesting because, being neurodivergent, sometimes it's really hard to navigate social situations, walking into the mom's groups. I never felt like I fit in ever. Right. And it's so interesting because here now I have a more neurodivergent women in my life than I ever have at any point in my life. And I think it's because we're all older and we're all being diagnosed right now because a we're looking for it and B our hormones are fluctuating because of perimenopause. And so It's easier for us to go, what the hell is

Randi:

happening? Yeah, I think when you're just older too and you slow down and give yourself a chance to really like analyze who am I and what's happening with my body like, it's easier to find those things that are going on with us.

Jess:

That or maybe it's also because when we're young and we do stupid shit, it's because they think we're young. Right. And if we're doing stupid shit

Randi:

when we're Oh, you're just young and dumb. Yeah. Like, no, Jess and I have talked about our college years and we're like, Holy, how did we survive that? we were off the rails. if we had been formally diagnosed and on the right medication, Man, we would have been on a, a less strenuous path than what we were. we did a lot of risky behavior because we were just like, like our brains.

Jess:

my favorite line was always, it sounded like a good idea at the time. Right. Why did you do that? I don't know. Sounded like a good idea at the

Randi:

time. You just, and I used to even have that conversation with myself. I don't even know why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. cause I was all over the place. All the time. Because my brain just functioned differently. But in that time, in the 90s or whatever, it wasn't a thing to talk about this or to have feelings about how you were feeling and things. So it was just like, you just like sucked it up and dealt with it.

Jess:

and they didn't know, it's interesting because my daughter just brought home her report card and she has a 3. 8 or a 3. 9. I am so amazed. I am so amazed because A, she's brilliant, but she's ADHD, oh sorry, she's brilliant and she's ADHD, but because we have her on medication, she is just able to focus and do her work. And I was like, wow, I wonder what my grades would have been like, because I had okay grades. But I couldn't focus.

Randi:

Yeah, see, I was the opposite. I was hyper focused on school. So I had a 4. 2 GPA because I was obsessed with that. that was my hyper focus. But like, everything else, woo! I'm making

Jess:

faces at her because I'm like, what? She's

Randi:

like, what? What's that? Yeah. But then later, the older I got, too, and as my hormones shift, in college I was like, whatever.

Jess:

I've always been like, Hey,

Randi:

let's go have fun. Yeah. So what does neurospicy mean in the context of neurodiversity?

Jess:

when we're looking at NeuroSpicy, by the way, we have this, really amazing, do you follow the Treasure Valley Weather Guy? Uh, yeah. So, he uses it all the time, and he's always like, my NeuroSpicy besties! And he's always calling people NeuroSpicy, and calling them, yeah, it is, it's really fun. See, again, it's fun! Right. And so, what it does, is it, it shows this, creativity that he's using, that he's and the strength to get other people out there. Because every time he's doing that, I'm always raising my hand like, I'm here. Yeah. I'm here. Yeah. And so it acknowledges this like diverse style and community and it just normalizes it because he is, he's totally ADHD. I can. Oh yeah, I'm sure. Totally. That's hilarious. And it is. It's really fun to watch all of this. When we're talking about neurodiversity, Randy, how does using the word neuro spicy, empower us?

Randi:

Because it's really promoting self acceptance. Like you were just talking about, you're like, that's me. I'm here. I check all those boxes. Well, you know, you are creating like a sense of pride, using that and identifying with that and encouraging yourself and others to celebrate that you are neurologically different. And I think that's a great strength. Oh, I

Jess:

love that right there. You just said neurologically different. I don't know why that just stood out for me so much because we've been saying it over and over. But yeah, you're just Neurologically different.

Randi:

Right, and that's good. That's great. It's fine. Yeah, I don't know why we have to think like different is bad. Different is good.

Jess:

Well, I don't know why we also think that failing is a bad

Randi:

thing. Right, and we always talk about failing forward because we think that it's learning. It's not failing, it's

Jess:

learning. That's how I learn is, oh, that's not

Randi:

what I want to do. Oops. Let's do that. what are some examples of Neuro Spicy in action? What does that kind of look like?

Jess:

when you did that, she just started dancing again. She's in the dancing mood today. It's Friday. She's like dancing queen over here. I think if we use Neuro Spicy, it's more about the creativity. artistic expression, allowing us to just be who we are. Mm hmm. whether or not what was I doing the other day? I was at a store and I don't know, I got a little like a happy dance going all by myself and I looked over Oh, I got a happy dance and there was somebody kind of smiling at me because I was just in the middle of Home Depot and I was like doing a little happy dance. I got it, but that's just being neuro spicy. most people don't dance in the middle of the store, but they should. Yeah, exactly. I think they really should. okay. So how can we. Really, embrace NeuroSpicy, to help benefit more of us.

Randi:

I feel when you embrace this term, that we were talking about, it really gives you a boost of self esteem and a sense of belonging, like we were talking about, the community, and really just that boost of empowerment. And so you can feel okay in navigating the world as you are. As you may think you should be navigating the world, but just understand that you are navigating it the best of your ability. And that's great, and giving yourself a unique perspective on things and learning how to, Advocate for yourself, so that you can get the right accommodations, whether that's like in work or with friends or in a relationship. you still need to advocate for who you are and what you need. And I think that it gives you that great boost. okay, I'm this neurospicy person. I can do it.

Jess:

I think that it's great, and it does. It's fun to say neurospicy. Every time I do it, we're both bouncing our head and dancing a little bit. I wish we would stop caring what other people thought of us, in general. Just who cares? Just not care what anybody thinks. Yeah.

Randi:

D G A F.

Jess:

Right? Right? Exactly. And so what if I was in my robe on the front porch picking up my Amazon

Randi:

package? Oh, I do that every morning. So don't mind me. That leads into how you can use this as a source of strength, especially when you are facing hard challenges.

Jess:

I think if we can make light of it, it isn't making fun of ourselves. That's what I was thinking earlier, are we making fun of ourselves? I don't think so. I think if we can make this not such a big deal. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about Covid. I know we don't wanna talk about Covid but in the very beginning everybody was like, oh God, they have covid. Right? Right. Like it was this big deal. Like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I have Covid. Mm-Hmm And now you're like, eh, I've got Covid. Right? Yeah. Like we've no big. Yeah. No, it's not that it's not a big deal. Yeah. But we're not acting as if, you have bubonic plague anymore. okay, we're gonna give space. I don't want that. I hope you feel better. Yeah. Let me drop something off. Before we wouldn't even slow down the car, We're like, I'm going to check it out the window at you. Don't breathe anywhere near me. But when we talk about it enough and we hear about it enough, it starts to, not have such a huge impact on us,

Randi:

It really leads into being supportive and being an ally of it too, because then people understand it more and it really promotes more inclusivity about it when you're talking about it and you're open about it, and it just becomes more of the norm that you're talking about it, including it instead of being like, oh, gods like, don't talk about that. This is something that can make you more resilient, that can empower you, that can help you, change the way you think about things. And I think that's important, especially when you're thinking of it, how can I support maybe like a friend or a child or a partner that has neurodivergent? It

Jess:

is hard because a lot of people look at being neurospicy as having something wrong with you. And by the way, neurospicy is not a It's not

Randi:

a technical term. It's not a technical term. It's not in the DSM or anything like that. It's like

Jess:

a tick tock term. Yeah. but I think that people look at it like if you're neurodivergent or neurospicy that there's something wrong with you. Oh, they're, we don't want our child to be labeled that. We want them to be normal. And then what we end up doing if you do that is you make it harder for them because they're trying to be normal. And, you're training them to be normal when they're not. their brain is different. And if we were like, yep, that's their brain. I remember once, When my daughter was, what was she? Kinder? Preschool? Something like that? Preschool. Somebody had a bee on their shirt. And so my daughter took a piece of tan bark and threw it at the girl. Trying to throw it at the bee to get the bee off. And it was a, this teacher was like, she threw a piece of tan bark at her and da da da. And was making it a big deal. And I looked at her and I said, she's ADHD, yeah, and she's like, well, I was like, she was impulsive and she was trying to help. It isn't a big deal. You probably need to learn more about

Randi:

it. I think that's why it's so important when we use these terms and broaden things about the mental health community and this really cultivates a deeper understanding overall and then people, we can really break the stigma. Yeah, by bringing people into our community and how they can understand

Jess:

it and I always, always when people are diagnosed with ADHD, talk about the brilliance. ADHD, they're so brilliant and they're so creative. Most of us are just very creative. And if we could harness Wow. The amazing things that we could do and that we do do. And

Randi:

my son is autistic and I can't, sometimes I just sit and marvel at like the things that he understands and can do that I have no concept over. The way his mind can engineer things and understand things like coding and building and. He's only eight. And I'm like, what is happening? to me, it's so magical, but, being labeled as autistic, I see a world of possibilities for him on things that he can comprehend that I could never comprehend because his brain is so beautiful. to me in that way. And I think of it as, a huge strength for him. It

Jess:

is a strength. I remember watching both of our kids together. We were wrapping presents one Christmas and they're sitting there, the two of them are sitting there building this little stem thing together. This little neurodiverse, the two

Randi:

of them going for it. And I could never, That would never interest me. No. Yeah, like he gets a stumbox every month and He checks the tracking and my email like when is it coming? I need to get it and blah blah blah and I need to do it and then as soon as it comes he Sits he hardly ever focuses With his ADHD side and then he's so and he has to complete this and then he's so Amazed and proud and telling me about these he did one about it was like light and reflection or something and made this whole machine that reflected the light and I was like, okay, I'm not a science person. But that just leads into how can we really integrate this concept of neuro spicy into our everyday life and really uplifting those around us that neurodivergent community.

Jess:

What you just said right there, with your son, watching the two, your son and my daughter sit there and build that little box thing that they were doing together that day. So we weren't asking them to participate in what we were doing. And that's what was actually really cool was because we were there, we were wrapping gifts for family for Christmas, family in need. And so we were all supposed to be doing that. But the two of them decided to go do something else, which was fine. They were, engaged and entertained and right. But had we been like, no, no, no, come over here and, and wrap presents like you're supposed to. And

you

Randi:

need to do what we want to do. You need

Jess:

to do what we're supposed

Randi:

to do and what we're doing. They were still, understanding that we were doing something as a community to help somebody else, and they did help at first, but then, you know, Typical, got distracted and went off that, but, then they were able to create this other connection and this other understanding. And we were like, well, that's so cool what they're doing, and that that interests them, and that your daughter, she's older. So she was willing to help, you know, my son. And then they understood that without even really needing to talk, but I think that that promotes understanding and acceptance and you can have empathy, for that. I have to tell, my family, a lot of time, Our son, our child does not think like your child or the cousin or grandpa or whatever. He thinks differently. He has more rigid standards for things and we have more flexibility and he does not think that way. So it's sometimes we need to take a different route with him than what we know, which is really hard the way that we were you know, to just be like, you just do it.

Jess:

The example I use is lefties. We expect everybody who's left handed to operate like in

Randi:

a right handed world.

Jess:

It's the exact same thing. And so sometimes if they would go through and understand it, or like people who are introverts versus extroverts, we expect extroverts to, step up and say something versus our introverts to maybe, help them. I want to say shut up, but you know, I mean, yeah, but we always expect the other people to change. Right. And that's what's hard is instead

of

Randi:

embracing, why can't we meet in the middle and create more inclusive, environments. I love to my son's elementary school. They have a calm down room, like their school therapist has made. So if a kid is overwhelmed, they can go to this calm down room. And. It's things like that, little things like that, that are taking a step, I feel like, in the right direction. direction and his teacher has a growth mindset classroom, about, learning and, being open, to new things so that they can grow and learn. Those things are a step in creating inclusion for all, no matter if you are neurodivergent or not, or have a learning disability that falls under this or not, or a mental health disorder. It's just, you Those things are good for everybody, no matter your diagnosis or not having any, mental health issue. Everybody needs a minute to blow bubbles or calm down to understand yourself.

Jess:

Exactly, I was thinking too, there's a story. my daughter, we're, it was a Christmas two years ago, we were at a friend's house. her daughter was autistic and down syndrome. Maybe ADHD, not sure. Nonverbal really didn't do a lot of talking. we look over and my daughter is sitting next to her daughter and they're both decorating cookies and they're passing the stuff back and forth, but neither one of them are talking. Neither one of them are talking to each other. They're not making eye contact with each other. They're both just in their own little neuro spicy world, passing the things back and forth and decorating cookies. Yeah. And it was just a really sweet moment to look at because it was like they had this understanding And they're the same age, but they're, both neurodivergent, just very different in that sense.

Randi:

I think that's also a testament to you too, as a mother and a parent of how you have raised your daughter to have empathy and space for other people that have differences.

Jess:

Oh, that makes me a little teary eyed. I know.

Randi:

I'm like, Oh, it is. Yeah. it's not a limitation, and I think that's where we have to, as individuals, understand, too, or as a parent, or as a caregiver, or as a friend, it's not a limitation. It's a unique aspect of who you are. It's not who you are wholly, but it's a part of who you are, and when you give yourself also giving yourself empathy for it and others and understanding and a safe space, it can be celebrated.

Jess:

Yeah, they're human. We're human. All of us are human. We're just human. And everybody is a little different. And if we really, just start by acknowledging and accepting neurodiversity as very natural. And as you said earlier, beautiful, you said your son has a beautiful mind. Yeah, just really it's just A part of a human variation. And that's all it is. We're just varied

Randi:

humans. And that makes you wonderfully unique.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, PMH-C

Host
Head Shot

Randi Owsley, LMSW

Host