Doubling Down on ADHD: Harnessing Body Doubles for Success

Is your ADHD toolbox in need of a powerful, yet simple tool? In today’s episode, we dive deep into the Body Doubling Technique for ADHD, unravelling how this practice can transform your productivity and emotional wellness. Join Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, two licensed psychotherapists with over 23 years of experience in women’s mental health, as they discuss practical strategies for using body doubling to foster focus and accomplish daily tasks. Whether you're battling feelings of isolation or seeking everyday coping strategies, this episode will enlighten and inspire you to embrace body doubling as a pathway to empowerment throughout your ADHD journey.

Navigating the path of ADHD as a woman can often feel like a solitary journey, but it doesn't have to be. Embracing techniques like body doubling and seeking ADHD accountability partners can transform your daily struggles into stories of success. We understand how vital finding effective, relatable coping strategies and support resources is in empowering you towards personal growth and mental resilience. 

In our upcoming podcast episodes, we're diving heart first into a treasure trove of topics that paint the full picture of the ADHD experience for women. We understand that overcoming ADHD challenges is no small feat—it requires courage, resilience, and a community that genuinely gets it. Together, we'll uncover personal growth strategies, from time management wizardry and building life-enhancing habits to embracing mindfulness practices tailored for the unique minds of ADHD women. Our mission is to empower you to navigate your path with grace and confidence, equipping you with wellness and coping mechanisms that celebrate your strengths and embrace your challenges. Your mental health is a journey worth cherishing, and with each step forward, we're here to remind you—you're not walking it alone.

FAQs

How does body doubling help women with ADHD?

Can body doubling be done virtually?

What tasks are best suited for body doubling?

Do both people need to have ADHD for body doubling to work?

How do I find a body double if I live alone?

Is body doubling suitable for every woman with ADHD?

Can body doubling improve my emotional wellness?

What should I look for in a good body double?

How do I introduce the concept of body doubling to someone who doesn’t have ADHD?

#MentalHealthPodcast #SelfLove #SelfCare #Wellness #Mindset #MentalHealth #Depression #Healing #Podcast #Anxiety #WomensMentalHealth #MentalHealth #WomensHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Anxiety #WomenSupportingWomen #SelfCare #MentalHealthMatters #Depression #Therapy #ADHD #BodyDoubling #ADHDAwareness #ADHDSupport #ADHDCommunity #ADHDLife #ADHDStruggles #ADHDStrategies #ADHDProductivity #Neurodivergent

Transcript

Randi: 0:14

Welcome back to the women's mental health podcast. I'm randy. I'm And I'm Jess. And we are two licensed psychotherapists, and this is a safe space where we talk about mental health, well being, and strategies for coping with life's challenges. And how all of this is normal, and you are not alone.

Jess: 0:30

Today, we're going to talk about a topic that's come up a lot for me lately. It's called body doubling and especially because it relates to ADHD.

Randi: 0:39

So if you have ever felt like you couldn't get started on a task, until somebody else was around, you've already experienced a little taste of what body doubling is. So find

Jess: 0:49

us and more information at womensmentalhealthpodcast. com.

Randi: 0:54

Have you ever had these thoughts? How does body doubling help women with ADHD?

Jess: 1:00

body doubling be done virtually?

Randi: 1:02

What tasks are best suited for body doubling? Do both people need to have ADHD for this to work? How do I find somebody that can help me body double if I live alone?

Jess: 1:13

And is it suitable for everybody with ADHD?

Randi: 1:16

And can it improve my emotional wellness?

Jess: 1:19

What should I look for in a good body double? That sounds funny. What should I look for in a good

Randi: 1:23

body double, right? Should I look just like me? Like you're, like, auditioning somebody for a role. And how do I introduce the concept of body doubling to someone who maybe doesn't have it? ADHD or isn't familiar with it.

Jess: 1:36

Hmm. And you are actually interviewing for a role. Because, we'll explain it a bit, but yeah, that's what you're doing. So let's first go through and define what body doubling is.

Randi: 1:45

So at its core, body doubling is the practice of working alongside another person to stay focused and productive.

Jess: 1:53

The idea isn't exactly to work on the same task either it's just having someone physically present or even virtually present to help you stay accountable and on track.

Randi: 2:04

And I was talking to Jess a little bit earlier and I was saying this is why those Twitch streaming rooms that are so popular, it's come to work with me or do homework with me or like a study room so people can do tasks together even virtually so they feel a little bit more at home. motivated. This is a great strategy for individuals with ADHD who struggle with starting or completing tasks because of challenges with executive function, focusing, motivation. These things all come into play. And that helps when you feel like you're being held responsible. Well, it's

Jess: 2:39

not

Randi: 2:39

even like

Jess: 2:40

starting it, it's staying In it. I know I can start it and then I'm like doo doo doo doo doo. Right. And next thing you know, I'm somewhere in the garden. So the idea of body doubling, it serves as like an anchor. It keeps you in place and it keeps that structure that you need for a sense of accountability. So like my daughter and I have done this. She's like, Mom, I'm struggling. Can I just come work with you? Sure. You know, I'll be sitting there working on the podcast and she's sitting on the floor doing her homework. We're not talking, we're not doing anything besides our own work. It's just our presence. Exactly.

Randi: 3:11

And I've even heard this in other terms of relationships too sometimes a partner can feel like, disconnected, and even if you don't enjoy what your partner enjoys, if you just go sit with them while they're doing it, and you're around it makes them feel Yeah. And connected.

Jess: 3:29

Yeah. Sometimes my husband will, sit on his computer and he'll play his game and I'll sit and do my thing next to him, even though we're not really talking or doing our things, but we're still together in the same room. So it's I guess the same thing. Yeah. So

Randi: 3:40

parallel. Yeah. Like parallel play. Yeah. With kids when you're younger. So where does this idea of body doubling come from?

Jess: 3:49

It's not a new concept. It's gotten really popular though, because of platforms like TikTok and YouTube. Just these young kids, young kids, these younger generations. are out there and they're learning about body doubling.

Randi: 4:04

the term body doubling specifically became more well known thanks to ADHD advocates, especially on social media and lots of generations sharing their experiences with their mental health and their tips online. So it's become more. Mainstream to talk about this currently exactly. This is what we did in college. That's how I study buddy. Yeah, a

Jess: 4:27

study buddy or an

Randi: 4:28

accountability partner. Like when you work out, it's the same thing for keeping on tasks or your mental health. Like just having somebody in your corner can be so powerful

Jess: 4:38

and a lot of women are already doing this because they don't realize they have ADHD and they need this. They're doing this because they've already gotten to this point where they have these social skills. And their social skills. My brain.

Randi: 4:50

It is offline today. It is off. Mine was offline last week and yours is offline. Oh my goodness So let's talk about how this affects specifically women and their mental health So, ADHD in women presents differently than it does in men or boys. Many women go undiagnosed until adulthood, like Jess and I. Yeah, I was, what, early 40s? And by the time that you realize you do have ADHD, you've internalized your feelings. You've created a lot of anxiety feeling about this. You feel a lot of shame or you feel inadequate because we have struggled to meet social expectations or we have struggled to fit. the norm. when you have ADHD, it leads to difficulties in managing responsibilities, maintaining focus. And we are very well known for procrastinating. And I always felt too guilty. Like, why couldn't I stay on task? Why would I always lose focus?

Jess: 5:51

I had a professor in grad school says that, you procrastinate because it's a form of opposition. And I was like, Oh, so I'm oppositional. Then great. No, no, no. I'm, I'm ADHD, which is why I waited the last damn minute to turn things in or do things. And it makes more sense now that I know. And even back then, I did body doubling. For things like folding my clothes. I talk on the phone while I clean my phone. I clean my phone. Folded my clothes. Oh my god. Today is just out of control. Sorry guys. I'm out of control today. Apparently, I'm not even gonna sure if I can edit any of this.

Randi: 6:20

Well, it's the same thing. When Jess and I get together, we're able to focus. And boom, boom, boom, put out all these tasks when we're not in the same room. We're like, Oh, yeah, we'll do that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we'll do that. And so it's just a way to be like that you feel like you're being held accountable. I feel like as women, we always get so overwhelmed with all of the things that we're juggling caregiving, work, personal goals, whatever habits, like we're trying to do it all.

Jess: 6:47

this is exactly where body doubling can be such a helpful tool. Yes. We're always talking about what tools can we use, what tools can we share with you guys? Because what it does is it provides external structure and accountability. And it really reduces a lot of that mental load that comes with managing all of these tasks solo. Even if you're on different tasks, you're not by yourself, you're going to keep working on what you're working on. And so it just is another tool to do. If you're curious about how to use body doubling, let's go ahead and let's share some practical tips. Yes.

Randi: 7:20

First, find somebody that you can body double with. This could be a friend, a co worker, a family member, or you can join an online co working group specifically for ADHD or productivity or studying. And then you're going to want to move into what, Jess? You want to set a very clear

Jess: 7:38

goal. So before you even start, agree on what you're going to be working on. The clearer the task, the more effective the session will be, and that way when somebody can, like with my daughter what you doing? What are you supposed to be doing? Well, even

Randi: 7:51

just and I were like, okay, we want to do we want to record two podcasts And then we want to work on our website and then we want to work on our social media and we're like, okay we give ourselves like an outline of the day that we've you know Carved out to spend time on this and then you know, somebody goes into the weeds. We're like, what are you doing? Come back to the task. So what's another thing we can use? using technology so like Zoom, Twitch, Focusmate, these are great virtual hangouts for body doubling. So even if you can't be physically in the same room, you can still see somebody and have each other, check in and keep on tasks and stay motivated. The other thing I

Jess: 8:31

want to talk about that was keeping our sessions short. You really, if focus is going to be the challenge, we have to do like short bursts, the chunking idea. don't do more than 25 minutes of focused work followed by a five minute break.

Randi: 8:45

Yeah, I have the Pomodoro method. Timer on my computer so I, I can set it, but I usually do like 15 minutes and then break 5 to 15 minutes and, go again and again if I'm having a hard time, staying on tasks.

Jess: 9:00

And I will say though, if you're using this method but you're all in a roll and you're like, no, I can keep going, keep going. Just keep going. And then stop when you're like, Oh, nope, there goes that. I lost that thought. And that way you can get up. I usually get up, walk around, do something else. And then I come back.

Randi: 9:14

another good thing is to experiment with different types of styles of this body doubling that might work for you. Maybe you like silent, maybe you like collaborative sessions, maybe you want to chat, maybe you want to listen to music, there's all sorts of different working styles. That can, people can benefit with doing this.

Jess: 9:34

That's true. Do you need to sit side by side with somebody? Do you need to have them across the room? Do you just need them to be somewhere in the room with you? Do

Randi: 9:41

you need them to check in with you? Do you need them, to discuss the plan with you or do you need them, just to Encourage you. Yeah, exactly. There's

Jess: 9:50

nothing wrong with saying you've got this. Let's tackle it. My daughter is always going, go mom, you got this mom. You've got this mom. She is such the great encourager. You've got this. Little cheerleader. She is. She is just my little cheerleader. Let's go through and answer some of our have you evers.

Randi: 10:07

Okay, so what is body doubling in the context of how it relates to ADHD?

Jess: 10:13

Body doubling is a strategy or a tool that has another person present to help a person with ADHD focus better and complete tasks. The body doubling serves as a subtle accountability partner, even if they aren't actively assisting with the task. If they're, they're not doing your homework, they're not helping you clean your room, they're doing a task with you, so that way you're both working on something. I guess it's also so you don't feel lonely. Yeah, like you're not missing something. You're not missing

Randi: 10:42

out. Same thing like whenever I clean the house like I never want to clean but if my partner steps in and helps me with it, it gets done. He's not helping you. He's participating. If he is also doing his part then it goes by so much faster and I don't feel the load on my shoulders like alone or any type of resentment. With that. So how does body doubling help women specifically with ADHD?

Jess: 11:09

For a lot of women who have ADHD, body doubling helps lower the feelings of overwhelm and procrastination, especially when we have tasks that we don't want to do, say, Randy's cleaning the house. The presence of having another person increases our dopamine levels in the brain and it aids to focus on productivity. So that's what it is. It's a dopamine hit, nice, we can have cheese and body doubling. Yeah, there goes our dopamine. Get some chocolate in there. We're all good. All right. So Randi, can body doubling be done virtually?

Randi: 11:40

Yes, it can be effective and done virtually through video calls or even having someone, working side by side on their own tasks, even on a Zoom call, or streaming live. And this really helps expands the access that we have of utilizing this coping mechanism, especially if we live in a rural area, or we, work from home and we need more accountability.

Jess: 12:05

I've even seen my daughter do her homework with somebody else who's doing their homework. via, they're on like, I don't know, Zoom or whatever platform they're on, or they're on a call. And I'm like, how are you guys both doing homework? You're on the phone? Oh, or you're on FaceTime or whatever it is. Yeah, FaceTime, that's the word I'm thinking. I'm like, what's that word called? What's that

Randi: 12:24

thingy? What

Jess: 12:24

is that thing we use all the time? Yeah. But yeah, they're just doing, both doing homework. And every once in a while, you'll hear somebody chat, and then they're still doing homework. It's just an interesting thing.

Randi: 12:32

Yeah, and there's whole communities like that too, so Discord too also has a whole voice chat community that you can use and different discords and they have streaming where you can get on video and stream and talk at the same time and so there's lots of free open platforms that you can do this in. Everybody in my house has discord but me. I'm the

Jess: 12:54

only one that like

Randi: 12:55

I just got

Jess: 12:55

it and I'm like, oh the

Randi: 12:57

whole new world I'm

Jess: 12:59

not doing i'm not doing it. All right, randy. So what tasks are best suited for body doubling?

Randi: 13:03

So it is really beneficial for tasks that might seem daunting or even boring things that you don't want to do at all, household chores, paperwork, your taxes, God,

Jess: 13:14

don't even talk about that. Even

Randi: 13:15

just, projects or papers you're working on. It's all about finding a task that you're struggling with and that you could really use support with while you're doing it. So if it's like something that you keep putting at the bottom of your list, it might be something that you want, to try to do with a body double.

Jess: 13:30

That's actually not a bad idea. I keep trying to figure out better ways to get my accounting done. I'm trying 30 minutes a day. I'm trying. Yeah. Okay, if I do this, then I can go do this. We should do a

Randi: 13:40

thing where we just like, even just we only live, like 20 minutes from each other, but even just virtually okay, we're gonna do our talk stuff for our businesses today.

Jess: 13:48

We wouldn't do it though. She and I would talk about it. Okay. Okay. So that's why you need to interview your body double. Make sure you're going to be productive versus sidetracking. Next thing you know, shopping.

Randi: 13:58

That leads into, do both people need to have ADHD?

Jess: 14:03

I'm going to say no. Probably a good idea. The person acting as your body double doesn't need to have ADHD. Their role is mainly to be present, and it might be better if they don't have ADHD. Because you really need your anchor and your focus to drive and complete tasks. There is something about that. And again, it's the what you're doing, where you're going, right? Should you be on TikTok right now? Probably not. Is that part of your homework? Oh my gosh, the kids. What was it? I don't know. Late, late Saturday night. Came running out.

Randi: 14:34

It's on! It's on! It's been! My life is over!

Jess: 14:39

Yeah. And

Randi: 14:39

then like

Jess: 14:40

12 hours later, it's

Randi: 14:41

back!

Jess: 14:41

Yeah. It's back. First thing when I woke up, it's back on! And I was like, wait, what's on? What I don't even

Randi: 14:46

know what. Yeah. Fine. Whatever.

Jess: 14:48

Okay. How do I find a body double if I live

Randi: 14:50

alone? Like we talked about, there's so many online communities, there's forums, there's one dedicated specifically to this, like chatting, or study groups, or even ADHD support groups that offer resources for you to connect with each other. Also, reach out within your friend group, or your social circle, or your professional networks. Maybe, you're in PR, so you reach out to your PR network. Working group hey, do you guys just want to even go to, a coffee shop and I'll take our laptops and, work on this? Or do you want to, I'll zoom or whatever it is. There's lots of ways to find that even if you don't have an immediate, physical social circle. So Jess, how is body doubling Suitable for women with ADHD.

Jess: 15:36

Some women find it very, very effective. It's success really can vary based upon your individual preference and the nature of whatever task you're doing. It's really about experimenting and seeing if this technique works for you or works for the task that you're working on. And again, you have to make sure that you're working with the right body double, because not everybody is going to be suitable depending on what you're working on.

Randi: 15:59

So it's okay too to like test out different groups and see where you find mm-hmm Your groove for that task. And maybe you have different, friends or accountability partners that do body double with for different things.

Jess: 16:09

Yeah. I, I have a friend that, we sit and chat and I can clean out my closet, just put my headset on clean out my closet, fold my clothes, walk around the house, whatever that is. But she's not somebody that I could actually sit and do my accounting with.

Randi: 16:20

Mm-hmm

Jess: 16:20

And so I know that. Okay. Oh, here we go then. What should I look for in a good body double?

Randi: 16:26

Look for somebody who is understanding, patient, aware of challenges that you might be facing with ADHD. Someone you feel comfortable with and that has the right kind of emotional supportive environment for you If that's something that you need, to lean on depending on what the task is.

Jess: 16:43

Yeah, if you need your cheerleader, call my daughter. She'll be like, yeah,

Randi: 16:46

you can do it! So just how do you introduce this concept of body doubling to someone who maybe doesn't have ADHD and doesn't struggle with keeping on tasks?

Jess: 16:55

Basically, explain it as simply having someone present to help you stay focused and complete your task. An accountability partner. I think that's

Randi: 17:03

something that's more well known, for somebody that's not in the mental health community, and so

Jess: 17:07

Yeah, explain how it is Beneficial to you and how you would like to help them as well if it helps them Sometimes like I have a friend that we do our errands together because we both were pretty busy and she's like I got Aaron Do you want to go? I was like sure we chat and I guess when she'll time to talk and then you get shit done Exactly. And so that's the same thing It's like body doubling with Aaron to get to hang out with a friend when sometimes she does hers. Sometimes I do mine Mm hmm depends on what we're doing. So that works. Okay, so It's such a simple concept, but it is such a powerful tool especially us with ADHD, if you have ADHD. Really look at body doubling.

Randi: 17:48

Yeah. Work on creating a supportive environment for yourself, whether it's in person or virtual. Give yourself the opportunity to thrive. thank you for joining us on today's episode of the Women's Mental Health Podcast. If you found this helpful, please share it with a friend, leave us a review, or even try body doubling with someone you know.

Jess: 18:08

Remember, it's okay to ask for help and to find creative ways to support your mental health. You deserve it, especially if you have ADHD. Really, truly, I know I'm all over the place today. I swear I took my meds. But until next time, take care and be kind to yourself.