Silent Book Clubs: A New Self-Care Ritual for Women

Feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or in need of quiet self-care? In this episode, we explore the power of Silent Book Clubs and how mindful reading can support women’s mental health. Join Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT—licensed psychotherapists with 23 years of experience in women’s mental health—as they discuss the benefits of reading in silence, how books can be a tool for self-care and identity, and why Silent Book Clubs are a game-changer for those seeking community without social pressure. Whether you're looking for self-care ideas for book lovers or simply a way to unwind, this episode is for you! 

Discover the power of Silent Book Clubs as a unique form of self-care and mental wellness. Reading in silence offers a peaceful escape, helping to reduce stress, improve focus, and create a sense of connection without social pressure. Learn more about self-care through books and how Silent Book Clubs support mental health by providing a space to unwind, reflect, and heal. Explore self-care ideas for book lovers, find books that help with anxiety and stress, and get practical tips on how to start a Silent Book Club in your community. Prioritize your well-being with the simple yet transformative act of reading in silence. 

In upcoming episodes, we’ll explore the profound connection between reading and mental wellness, diving into topics like reading as a mindfulness practice, book therapy for stress relief, and the mental health benefits of reading. We’ll discuss how women’s book clubs create safe spaces for connection, how the silent reading movement is reshaping social experiences, and why finding community as an introvert can be life-changing. Plus, we’ll share the best books for self-care and healing and the power of journaling and reading for self-discovery. Whether you're seeking personal growth, stress relief, or meaningful connections, these conversations will help you turn reading into a powerful self-care tool. 

What is a Silent Book Club?

How does a Silent Book Club work?

How is a Silent Book Club different from a traditional book club?

What are the mental health benefits of joining a Silent Book Club?

Who can join a Silent Book Club?

How can I find a Silent Book Club near me?

Can I start my own Silent Book Club?

Do I have to talk to other people at a Silent Book Club?

Can a Silent Book Club help with social anxiety?

Is there a virtual Silent Book Club option?

#SilentBookClub #IntrovertBookClub #ReadInSilence #QuietReadingTime #BooksAndCommunity #SoloButSocialReading #MindfulReading #BookLoversUnite #SilentReadingMovement #ReadingForSelfCare #ProtectYourPeaceNow #EmotionalWellnessMatters #FindYourInnerCalm #PrioritizeYourMentalHealth #HealthyBoundariesHappierLife #StressManagementStrategies #AnxietyReliefTips #nervoussystemhealing

Transcript

Randi: 0:14

Welcome back to the women's mental health podcast. I'm randy. I'm And I'm Jess. And we are two licensed psychotherapists, and this is a safe space where we talk about mental health, well being, and strategies for coping with life's challenges. And how all of this is normal, and you are not alone. Today we're talking about something that might just change the way you think about social self care. Silent book clubs.

Jess: 0:37

I loved this idea when I heard it. Silent book clubs. If you've never heard of them before, don't worry, neither had we. We're going to talk about what they are, why they're called that, and how it actually can support your mental health.

Randi: 0:52

So grab your coffee or water and get comfy and let's get into it.

Jess: 0:56

Find us and more at womensmentalhealthpodcast. com.

Randi: 1:00

Have you ever had these thoughts?

Jess: 1:02

What exactly is a silent book club?

Randi: 1:05

How would a silent book club work?

Jess: 1:07

How does a silent book club different from a traditional book club?

Randi: 1:10

What are the mental health benefits of joining a silent book club? Who can join a

Jess: 1:15

silent book club?

Randi: 1:16

How can I find a silent book club near me? Or how can I start my own? Do I need to talk to other people during this silent book club? Cause, no.

Jess: 1:26

Can a silent book club help me with my social anxiety?

Randi: 1:30

Is there the possibility of a virtual silent book club?

Jess: 1:34

Oh, I didn't think about that one. That's a pretty good one too. That's

Randi: 1:36

good. So let's break down. What is a silent book club?

Jess: 1:41

Unlike traditional book clubs, where there's an assigned reading and group discussions, a silent book club is a space where people come together to read silently, but they still can experience the social connection of being around others. And when I heard of this, I was like, oh, it makes so much sense. That is so

Randi: 2:02

me. So there's no pressure to read a certain book or to keep up with deadlines, yeah. or to read a certain speed. You just bring whatever you're into, whatever book you want to read, find a cozy spot and read with your friends in silence.

Jess: 2:18

It is so cool. Like I think we need to do one of those. If you feel like it, you can chat with others before or after reading the session. You can grab your drink, grab your coffee, grab your beer, wine. Grab

Randi: 2:31

your appetizer, whatever it is, whatever you're doing, or grab a park bench, yeah.

Jess: 2:35

We have a place down here that actually serves wine or coffee, and you could do both. There's no expectation that you're going to have to talk, though. This is unless you want to.

Randi: 2:45

I love this idea that You can be around people because sometimes we just want to be around people, but we don't necessarily have the energy or the bandwidth for deep conversations or to feel like we need to be like caught up on something to talk about it.

Jess: 3:00

I was thinking, gosh, I would love to come to your house like on a Thursday afternoon and just sit in your big comfy couch and read or listen to a book. We can chit chat. We can have. Yeah, if it goes

Randi: 3:11

that way, fine, but no expectations up to what it's gonna hold. I feel like sometimes we plan stuff out we're gonna go do this jewelry class, and so then we need to do steps A, B, and C, or we're gonna go on this hike, and so we need to hike up this mountain, or we're meeting to watch our shir Certain show or talk about a certain book and then it's oh shit, if you haven't caught, caught up, I didn't have time to read it. Or watch that episode and you're like, oh, I'm so behind. Or you feel, like just taking away all the pressure

Jess: 3:38

and sometimes I don't have the bandwidth to take in more mental, like more conversations, especially depending upon what you do for work or if you have kids. Mm-hmm But I wanna read and I wanna see my friends. And so I love that this is something that I can do. Both.

Randi: 3:56

And so it's like, it's that we were talking about like a parallel play, right? Or like body doubling. It's about the experience of reading together, but in a judgment free, stress free, peaceful way. Just also getting maybe like that quiet time, some of us don't like to do stuff like totally alone either, or we're not comfortable with that. And so that's so cool that this has been popping up everywhere.

Jess: 4:21

And it's really neat, too, because some of us aren't comfortable going and sitting in a coffee shop by ourselves. It's like going to see a movie. I'll go see a movie with you, but please don't talk to me during the movie. You're going to drive me nuts. Talk to me before, talk to me after. I want to laugh with you, but I don't want to have a conversation with you, because that's not what this is about. And so that's what this makes it so Cool, and I'm starting to hear about this more and more that people are getting together and doing this.

Randi: 4:48

Yeah, so let's talk about the real magic that can happen with silent book clubs. How they benefit our mental health.

Jess: 4:56

Okay, first off reading itself is a great mental health tool. It is one of the best tools and I mean reading you can also listen and people watch. I call those the same thing. Studies show that when we read We can reduce stress up to 68%. That's huge. Huge. It helps lower our heart rate. It decreases cortisol levels, and it gives our brain a break from the constant overstimulation.

Randi: 5:23

And then, if you factor in the social component, you're in a room with people who love books like you, who don't want to pressure you into any type of forced interaction. This is a huge comfort, especially for introverts or anyone that deals with social anxiety, or somebody who is just, exhausted and overwhelmed or socially burnt out.

Jess: 5:46

It's also a really great way to set aside dedicated time for self care. Most of us are like, I got to do it. I got to do it. But when you commit to a silent book club, you're essentially scheduling intentional relaxation into your routine, which I love. Oh, I love it. And

Randi: 6:03

you don't, it doesn't have to cost anything. Like you can meet up at like a park or a library. Yeah, a library, like anything, and just sit together and do it. So how would you actually implement a silent book club? Is this something that you're interested in?

Jess: 6:20

I'm really interested. This sounds amazing, right? And I want to do this and I was actually thinking we might. Open this up to some of the group that we were, we run with is that, there's a couple ideas. You can either see if there's one already going, check out your meetup, your Facebook groups, or even ask your local library or bookstore, do they know about this? If that's not the case, go start your own. We can easily do it. There's a book club that meets virtually that I'm part of, but I can never keep up with the books anymore. There's another one where they get together and they socialize and they go out to dinner once a month. Mm hmm. Again, I don't know if I can commit to that. Because I'm like, I don't know if I want to sit there and eat and do all of this. Something that's still

Randi: 7:01

social, but so low key. Yeah, that just seems too much. Doesn't feel overwhelming. Exactly. And you can even go and do this by yourself if you are comfortable with that, too. If you don't have a group, just Go take a book and get outside or go sit in the corner of the cafe or the library and have some peace full time.

Jess: 7:21

Yeah. Or, we can probably even do a virtual silent book club for those who are like, we're going to meet at this time, put on your jammies and we'll leave our, you can leave your camera on or off. It doesn't matter. And let's just have a conversation and, we'll talk for a little bit, spend some time reading. It's just about not necessarily being so alone.

Randi: 7:41

Yeah. But

Jess: 7:41

also, also not being so overstimulated all the time.

Randi: 7:46

And I love the idea of normalizing that socializing doesn't have to involve this huge schedule or itinerary. And also talking. Talking, talking, talking, talking. We don't always need to fill the silence. Yeah. The sound.

Jess: 8:02

You're right, because sometimes just sitting together is so wonderful. Sometimes Randy and I will start working and we're doing stuff and next thing I know, she's working on her thing, I'm working on my thing, or I'm, we're both on our phones. Yeah. And then I look over and we're both doing different stuff, but I'm totally comfortable just hanging out. Because I'm not by myself and I don't feel rude because I'm sitting there on my phone or I'm doing some work. No,

Randi: 8:22

and we don't feel the need to babysit each other. feel sometimes too, like with certain maybe friendships or acquaintances, you feel the need to always be on because you're like, what are they, and this can just create like that comfortable space that you need with a friend, but not put pressure on the friendship or the relationship.

Jess: 8:41

And sometimes, honestly, you just want to get out of the house and maybe have a coffee away from the family, a change of scene. And it's nice to be able to go with other people and hang out. Oh my gosh, I'm just imagining like this silent. And I know they're gonna be like, that's a library, but no you have an area where you have your couches, your lounges, and you can just hang out and you can talk or you can read. And if you can't focus, I'll be honest with other people. If you're in public reading. Get some loops that'll drawn it out. Yeah, right get those loops where you can hear your friends But you can't hear everybody else and that totally works.

Randi: 9:13

So let's break down our have you ever Questions. So again, what is a silent book club

Jess: 9:19

a silent book club is a gathering where people friends or whatever Come together to read in quiet in a social setting. It is not a traditional book club There is no assigned reading. There's no structured discussion You just bring your own book and you read silently and you socialize if you choose to you hang out You also can tell people, you can engage or not engage. It's one of those, if you laugh it's fun to be with other people as they giggle when they're reading. That cracks me up. Oh yeah, I love that too. Because you're like, ha! And you're like, they must have read something funny. Yeah, or I want

Randi: 9:54

to know what you just read. Yeah, huh.

Jess: 9:56

Oh, you're turning red. What are you reading? Yeah. Okay, so Randi, how does an actual silent book club work?

Randi: 10:03

It's really up to you, but technically you would probably pick like a location, like a cafe, a library, or a park, and then choose like a short amount of time. to either, if you want to socialize, yes, or if you just want to read, for an hour or an hour and a half or 30 minutes. And then if you want to talk afterwards, cool. If not, high five, awesome, out of here. Exactly. Or if you need to

Jess: 10:27

take off and leave, you just say, hey, peace out, and you leave. And you just do what you need to do. You socialize, you read for a little bit, and then you go. It should really be very unstructured. That's it. So then,

Randi: 10:37

how does it differ, let's break that down, from a traditional book club?

Jess: 10:41

Okay, I just said it. There are no reading assignments. There are no actual due dates. There's no mandatory discussions. There's no research about the author ahead of time. You get to read whatever you want to read and or listen to, It's very low pressure, judgment free. It's just a social experience with other people or your other friends because sometimes we're like Low pressure. Yeah, low pressure getting to hang out. This is so good for people who are introverts or people who are really busy or, those who just want to see their friends and also want to read a book. It's like a knitting club. Except for you're not knitting, you're reading.

Randi: 11:21

Yeah, like a sewing circle Just something to do, but with other people. Exactly.

Jess: 11:26

Randi, what are the mental health benefits of joining a silent book club?

Randi: 11:30

Reducing your stress and reducing your anxiety because reading is so helpful with that. It encourages mindfulness, it encourages relaxation, and it encourages you to be present in the moment of what you're doing, like holding a book or holding your Kindle. It can provide that social connection, but without out the social pressure. And it really helps you implement a dedicated self care time and routine if you're struggling with that too. So that you're like, like this one, once a month or like every two weeks that you're going to have that little bit of downtime. And when you read too, it helps boost your concentration and your mental clarity. It's just an overall great thing to read, even if it's just a magazine, or even if you want to listen to an audio book.

Jess: 12:18

Yeah. I was really amazed when they said 68%. That's crazy. Yeah. It lowers your stress levels by 68%. No wonder I read so much. You're like, I'm going to read all the time. Yeah. But I do. I feel so much better because it's what I call my ginger. I get out of my head. And I go into somebody else's world that is not like mine. So it's not a constant. It's just, it's like a it's

Randi: 12:42

like a healthy dissociation. That's the word I was looking for. I'm like,

Jess: 12:44

you love that word. What is that word? Okay.

Randi: 12:47

Okay. So who can join a silent

Jess: 12:49

book club? Anyone. Anyone can join a silent book club. Anybody can start a silent book club. They are inclusive, they're welcoming of all people, all reading levels, all backgrounds, and all preferences. And that's what I love. It is, you do not have to keep up with anybody else who speed reads. There's no timing on it. Whether you are reading a lot or you're just getting back into it. Or you just want to look at a magazine and hang out with your friends. Exactly. This works. Randy, how can I find a silent book club near me?

Randi: 13:21

Check, meetup.com. Check Facebook, any type of social media, maybe TikTok. Ask your local librarian or your local bookstore. Is there an official website?

Jess: 13:33

I think there's one called Silent Book Club. Silent Club. Silent Book Club. I'm gonna actually look that up right now, because I actually think I heard that there was one, but I don't want to send you to some weird porn site if that's not really it, because I'll take the hit for you guys. Hold on, I want to look. And if

Randi: 13:49

you can't find something near you, consider putting yourself out there and creating something. There is! Signupbook. club. There really was

Jess: 13:57

one, and I had no idea that you can be a member of SBC members. They gather in bars and cafes and bookstores. Oh, cool.

Randi: 14:07

See, we learned something new today. So then, if you want to start your own book club, you can do it on your own, like choosing a location, setting a time, inviting friends. Or you can join something like that where it's all pre set up for you.

Jess: 14:22

Or you can even make your own and join here. It says there's 1, 500 chapters in over 50 countries around the world. So really, this is something that is going through and I, no wonder why we're hearing more about it. Yeah,

Randi: 14:36

so just do you, again, have to talk to other people at a silent book club?

Jess: 14:41

No. I'm just going to go, no, you don't have to, they are designated for social connection without pressure. You can choose to chat before or after, you can, chat in between if y'all want to have a snack, whatever it looks like. There's no expectation and there's no, you don't have to participate in discussions. Now, I will say it is probably more like when you do AA groups, you got to find the right group for you. If you're with a silent book club that wants to chat a lot and you're not a chatty person. Yeah, it's

Randi: 15:14

okay to find another group that you connect with. You have to explore and figure out, and find your people. Exactly, or if there's one

Jess: 15:23

that only meets at 10 a. m., but you work and you can't do it.

Randi: 15:25

It may be a virtual one.

Jess: 15:27

Yeah. Find a book, find one that works for you or start one that works for you if you can't find one. So Randi, can Silent Book Club's help with social anxiety?

Randi: 15:38

Yes, definitely, because it offers a low pressure social environment that is great for people who might shy away from social interactions because of their anxiety. Because you know that People can just enjoy your presence without the need of small talk and structured conversation. Like I hate small talk. Some

Jess: 15:58

people are so bad at small

Randi: 16:01

talk.

Jess: 16:01

Yeah, like

Randi: 16:02

I don't really care don't ask me about the weather. I don't want to know that's not for me. So I get that. So taking out that pressure is so great. And then also same thing like if even if that's too much, Maybe there are virtual, options like we just talked about.

Jess: 16:19

Yeah, because some people, you, there are virtual options. Many are online via Zoom or other different. Yeah, Discord, things like that,

Randi: 16:28

Twitch. There's all sorts of things like that where you can just hang out with people and do things like that.

Jess: 16:33

Maybe you can invite your friends remotely. Let's all get on and let's. Let's read for an hour and then that way we can chat and read or chat and read. It depends on what it is that you like.

Randi: 16:43

So that's it for today's episode. If you've ever attended a silent book club, we'd love to hear about your experience. DM us on Instagram or tag us in a post.

Jess: 16:52

Yep, exactly. And if this episode resonated with you, don't forget to follow the podcast and share it with a friend who could use some stress free social self care. And you know what? We're going to put up a what a worksheet or a how to on this. So that way if you do want to, not have guidelines because this is a non guideline. But

Randi: 17:13

if

Jess: 17:14

you

Randi: 17:14

want like the steps of how to do this, you can sign up for our email on our website and we'll send you this step by step guide. Thanks for tuning in to the Women's Mental Health Podcast, where we dive into all things self care, emotional well being, and practical ways to nurture your mental health.

Jess: 17:31

Until next time, take care of yourself and happy reading.