My Friend the Friar
A podcast where we learn about our faith and share what it takes to live a Catholic Christian life through conversations and contemplations with my friend the friar, a Discalced Carmelite Priest.
My Friend the Friar
Finding Your Center In Seasons Of Change (Season 3 Episode 41)
What if your feelings didn’t get the final say on your choices—especially when life is in flux? We open up about seasons of upheaval: a child leaving for college, grieving a parent, cancer scares, and the low hum of uncertainty that follows big change. Rather than force emotions to match the moment, we explore how intentionality helps you act from conviction, not reflex, and how a Christian identity rooted in “beloved child of God” steadies you when roles and routines shift.
We map this through the story of Israel in the desert: the cloud that rests, the fire that moves, and the training of a people who learn to trust timing as much as direction. We talk about open‑ended planning, why anxiety spikes when we over‑predict, and how clinging to job titles or achievements makes transitions feel like identity loss. Then we get practical: slow, communal prayer as a way to breathe with Scripture; letting duty carry you when desire feels thin; and building habits that keep you present to God and others without numbing out or grasping for control.
The heart of the conversation is simple and demanding: hold your plans lightly and your identity tightly. Stand a half‑step outside your emotions, name them, and choose the next right action aligned with faith, reason, and love. Whether you’re waiting in place or stepping into the unknown, there’s a way to live with clarity and courage. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s navigating change, and leave a review to help others find the show. What transition are you walking through right now?
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Welcome to the My Friend the Friar podcast, and thanks for listening. If you like My Friend the Friar and want to support us, please consider subscribing or following us if you haven't already done so. And if you found us on YouTube, then don't forget to click the notification bell when you subscribe so you'll be notified of new episodes when they release. Thanks again and God bless. Good morning, John. Good morning, Father. Oh my goodness. Um I feel like our internet has gotten better over the years. Or well, because you're in Dallas now, maybe that's what it is.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Back from the castle. I don't have to dis depend on the rats in the little circle thing to keep it up. The gerbils in the wheel. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I don't know what the cats are doing. They're playing the closet. My nose is is fine. Um the scar from the operation? Skin graft thing. Yeah. Yeah. It will um supposedly it lightens over time. So I have to but I tan like really easy. So I I got like a nice floppy hat to keep the sun off my face whenever Betty and I go for walks and stuff. Um but I I think I need to put sunscreen on there too, because I just I just tan. It's the um, as my dad would have said, it's like the the redneck in us from Oklahoma, and just farm boys kind of in our blood, I guess.
SPEAKER_00:So um especially since it was since it was skin cancer, yeah. I would put I would put sunblock on your nose for sure. Yeah, so it's uh but it's doing good.
SPEAKER_01:Um it feels real real nice. Um like there's a little bit of of like raisedness to it, but not like the the doctor said that it should smooth out over time. And where they took the graft from um same thing, kind of like the little bit of raisedness, like I guess when you get stitches, right? You'll kind of bumps to that so that'll heal over time too, or reduce over time. So what they said, but I still don't know what the cats are doing. They're playing because one is in the closet, and the other one's waiting waiting for the other one to come out to pounce on it.
SPEAKER_00:I can, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I don't even know what's going on. Okay. Um so much for our intro. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for joining me and my friend the friar, father Stephen Sanchez, a discalced cormelite priest. Good morning, father. Again. Um, yeah. My second cup of coffee is about two hours old, I think, at this point. And it's like half drank. It makes me heart drunk. I don't know. It makes my heart hurt a little bit. Either that or I've had too much coffee, and that's why my heart hurts. I don't know. But um it's been a morning so far. I don't know. Okay, um, I've got a question for you. Yeah. Okay. Just want to see where this goes. We were talking yesterday, yesterday, about intentionality. Um so like do you ever you're a little bit older than me, um, and you've had a couple of decades, yeah. Yeah. You've had a pretty dramatically different kind of adulthood than I have for the most part, being a priest, uh being a contemplative, like a religious priest too. So anyway, so like do you ever in the past or like even now, like do you ever have the feeling or do you ever feel like you don't understand how you're feeling in a moment? Like you're ever sitting there and you're like, what the heck is going on? Like, how how am I doing? Not like physically, but like mentally, emotionally, spiritually, like, how am I? And I don't I don't know how I'm feeling. Um like I don't know, like I in my mind I kind of connect it. Like, I kind of connect the thread of how I'm feeling to like what am I doing? You know what I mean? Um so like I end up in this situation where like I question if I have any intention at all or if I'm kind of just going through the motions. And so I've been kind of thinking about this stuff lately, and I'm like, there's there's obviously there's always contributing factors, right? I'm thinking my age, right? Um just having cancer kind of thing, diagnosis, uh, my daughter getting ready to go to college, mom passing away, right? Um stress, like sleep, like there's all these things that can kind of contribute to these kinds of things um or these feelings. And so I don't know. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, do you ever you ever have oh now the cat's exploded again? So I don't know if you can hear them in the background, but the one of them finally came out of the closet, the one's attacking. Anyway, um do you ever have those feelings where you're just like, what am I doing? Or or or you don't you can't pinpoint how you're not necessarily how what you're doing, but like how you're doing.
SPEAKER_00:Right. I think probably has to do more with for you, I think in in your particular situation, it has to do with transition. And transition transition is always difficult because a lot of our um points of stability have shifted or changed, or something has happened to to move those points of stability and kind of like okay, trying to re find um your center, trying to regain your center. Uh I think for myself, I mean, there's times when I find myself in situations of transition, um trying to parse out exactly what it is that you're experiencing, what you're feeling, right? And trying to separate feeling from okay, this is my feeling, this is my experience uh from this, you know, X factor, whatever the variable is, right, um, that has led to transition, change, or shift. And then to say, okay, so how do I how do I approach this? How do I embrace this? And talking about intentionality, what what is what is my attitude or my stance towards this, right? Uh you know, go ahead. Oh, go ahead, finish. Sorry. No, you're go ahead. No, you go. No, after you.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no, you first, you hang up. Um, so I was yeah, what you're saying, it was it was kind of resonating with me because it's like I don't need to our feelings are what they are, right? Right. Um, it's it's how I'm experiencing that moment. It's not necessarily reality, right? Like I don't like I'm making something up, I don't like broccoli. That doesn't mean broccoli is not good for me, right? It's just how I feel in that moment. But it's important to like pay attention to them. But then my intention, my purpose. So I think purpose and intention are kind of linked too, right? So it's like use really simple examples. If I'm hungry, I eat. So it's like, what is the purpose of the thing? Well, is tied to the intention. I'm trying to satisfy hunger, or I gotta go to the bathroom, you go to the bathroom, right? There's so there's a purpose of what you're doing and an intention that's driving your behavior. And those things don't have to be linked to how you feel, right? Like I don't have to like or I don't have to feel good when I pray. I don't have to feel good if I go to the gym. I don't have to feel good, whatever, right? I understand it happens, right? And that that's probably to close some kind of feedback loop in your mind. It's probably how people make good and bad habits, right? Like I had this this intention, my purpose was or my purpose and my intention, that thing gets fulfilled, that's satisfying or it feels good, and now I want to do it again, right? So, but but it doesn't have to be, right? I don't have to my feelings don't have to necessarily match the moment.
SPEAKER_00:No, and I think that's where I think maturity comes in to be able to parse out my emotion, my feeling, versus you know, uh not allowing that to muddy or cloud up my reasoning, trying to reason it through, trying to figure out what's going on, trying to parse things out. And I think it's very important, and this is part of the whole contemplative process as well, is to be able to stand back from yourself, that there be some sort of uh objectivity concerning the self, to be able to observe ourselves. Yeah, that's what makes us human, is we're we know that we know, and so we're capable of actually examining ourselves and um questioning our motives and stuff, whereas you know other animals don't do that, they're just they're instinctual. Um, cats that are murdering each other. So it's it's it's sort of like but it takes it takes an ability, it takes the ability to be able to stand apart from yourself. And so if you don't practice that, if you're not capable of doing that, if you're not capable of standing outside of yourself and being objective about yourself, then what happens is you allow your emotions and your feelings to dictate your behavior and decisions, and thereby you really never have an intentionality because you're only going by instinct and by you know you're being reactive. And when we talk about intentionality, intentionality is like there is a particular way I want to live, a particular path I want to go down, and regardless of the difficulties, this is what I feel is best for me or contributes to um a growing humaneness or humanness, right? A greater integrity of self and person. So all those things are all those different variables that have to do with how we make those decisions and how we how we enter into transition. Some people transition very, very, very badly. It it's it's very um, it really shakes their core and they have a really difficult time and anxiety of dealing with transition. Other people are much you know on the opposite side, be like, it's just like, yeah, okay, whatever. I'll just you know adjust. But um, it depends again on your person and how you see things and perceive things.
SPEAKER_01:So that's really interesting to me too, because um I can see the transition, like I said, my age, daughter going to college, mom dying, and stuff like that, right? So there it is a pretty big transitional moment. Like for let's just take Sophia going to college, right? Um the a child is I think very naturally the focal point of a family, right? The parents come together, everything's about the kid, now the kid's gone, and it's like, what are we coming together for? You know what I mean? Like there's this thing is missing, so there's a big transition. Um, so like a lot of that is resonating with me. I also kind of wonder as you as you're talking, like um, and yeah, transition can be jarring. What about like a lack of transition? I I think a lot of times about Exodus when um they're wandering through the desert and there's the pillar of fire that tells them wait, do they they follow the cloud, and whenever the pillar of fire comes down, that's where they stop and wait, right?
SPEAKER_00:It's a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day, and the pillar when the pillar raises or pulls up back up into heaven or wherever it is, then that's when they know to move and when it isn't settled, when it's not settled, right?
SPEAKER_01:So that's yeah. And so, yeah, so in that though, what I've noticed is like the Bible, it doesn't say how long they had to wait. Right. And so it's like you get there and they're like, okay, and I mean they were out there for 40 years. I I think I Google mapped it once. It's it's like a two-week walk from Egypt to Israel or something like that. So they were really out there for a while. But the whole point of it is sometimes you don't transition, like you wait, and that's really uncomfortable too.
SPEAKER_00:All right, and even okay, it's interesting that you bring this up because transitioning, okay. Let's take let's take the story of of Israel. As Israel transitions out of slavery into freedom, they had a hard time. Yeah, had a really hard time. And so I'm always I'm always I laugh at myself or I laugh to myself when I read it because you know, like they leave, right, and leave with gold and silver, and they leave with all the cattle, they leave with all the livestock, right? And then they're out in the desert, and then they tell God, you know, like feed us. Like, and I and I'm going like, dude, you have herds, you have your livestock, use that, right? But it has to do more with um the difficulty of transition and being dependent and learning how to grow into the freedom and the responsibility and accountability that freedom brings. And that's kind of the purpose of that sacred history, right? That whole uh development of Israel. And then again, when they get to when they're in the desert, again, the transitioning of okay, uh, they go all the way to the promised land, and then they don't want to go in. They're big, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_00:So, okay, so you don't want to fight for your freedom. Yeah, it's not like okay, come here, it's it's wrapped in a bow. Like, no, you have to fight for your freedom. That's how you appreciate your freedom, is when you fight for it. And so then they have to go to the then their punishment is to be in the desert, right? So again, those are moments of transition and the inability to trust that there uh is something in the transition that might be good for me, that might be uh a moment of growth, a moment of virtue, a moment of development for me as a person or as a people or as a nation, right? And I think it goes back to the whole idea of an intentionality and how do how do we transition? Do we transition well? What are the difficulties? It goes back, this goes back to this you know being objective about the self. How do I react to transition? How do we as a community, as a family, uh face uh transition? Is there denial? Is there rejection? Is there blindness? Is there uh the refusal to see the need for transition, the need for change? Right? And so a lot of it has to do again, going back to do I understand that um change for the sake of change is not necessarily healthy, but change is something that is part of life, it is uh it's part of the organic existence. There's always going to be change, always, because that's what life is, it's a continual development. And for us as mortals, there's uh a development and a decline. And can I see that? Can I accept that? Can I deal with that in a way that is objective and understanding, uh, using that as a as a as a means to growing my own wholeness and and um ability to see the greater picture, right? The greater, the greater design.
SPEAKER_01:Do you think you need to do you think you need to be able to see where you're transitioning to? Like the Israelites, Moses said, I'm taking you to the promised land, right? So they know where they're going, and now their growth is in the transition to where they're supposed to be going, right? And this is similar. Um, you know, I heard somebody preach once about like this is similar to the transition from a state of slavery to sin to true freedom, right? Like I know where I'm going, now I have to trust in the process to transition there. So if I don't know where I'm going, though, is that part of the whole waiting? That's the being comfortable with waiting.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's the discomfort, right? So if we're transitioning to something new, because it's new, we don't know what it is. We have no idea. And we spend a lot of time, energy, uh, psychological, spiritual, emotional energy, trying to come up with all the different ideas of what it could possibly be, instead of just saying, okay, let's, you know, let's follow the Holy Spirit in this adventure and allow the adventure to unfold and deal with it as it unfolds, right? Instead of trying to anticipate, a lot of the anxiety is trying to anticipate what it might be, right? And chances are um it's not gonna be what we think it is. And that's where the difficulty comes, right?
SPEAKER_01:Do you think a lot of people artificially start defining things to try to make themselves comfortable? Like again, I'm just making something up. My daughter goes to college, so now I'm gonna take up oil painting or something, right? Like I'm gonna pursue my hobbies or something like that. And now I have a purpose because I've forced this purpose into my moment.
SPEAKER_00:Right. Yeah, and sometimes it's because this goes to sort of the instinctual, you know, we're hardwired for survival, and the unknown is always threatening. And so we always somehow project some type of knowledge of what the future is going to be like or some plan I make. And again, it's okay to make plans. I'm not saying you should never plan. But what happens is, you know, and this is what I always tell people that I direct like, make sure that your plan is always open-ended, right? It may this is a plan that you have, but it may not, it may not be that. Maybe that's not how it's supposed to be. And so, you know, don't necessarily be definitive in what you expect to happen. It's like, okay, this is what, this is only a plan. This is one of the possibilities that I have in mind. And so I think transitioning for, I think, as we get older, transitioning into what life is supposed to be or what we I think a lot of it has to do with reconciling what we thought life would be when we were younger, and then finding out that it's not exactly what I've perceived it to be or what I thought it would be, and it's something else. Uh and sometimes there's difficulty in that. And the intentionality, going back to the intentionality, the intentionality is not that I intend to make all of my plans come true. The intentionality is am I capable of allowing myself to grow in an organic way, in a way that is life-giving and fulfilling and helps me to be a greater person in all of the wholeness of what that means. And not necessarily just about uh making sure that all the tasks are completed, right? That you know, so uh marrying a doctor or marrying a whatever or having you know 12 kids or you know white picket fence and all that. White picket fence, yeah, exactly. All that, right? And so sometimes again, we we set ourselves up, we set ourselves up for for failure by by trying to insist on those things. Who was it like? I think it was Mark Twain uh who said that um was it something like all the most of the terrible things that happened in my life have never happened, or something like that. The key it was something that he would fears, you know, he was talking about the fears that he had. And Mark Twain said something about like, you know, most of the terrible things that happened in my life never happened because it was just in my head, right? So and sometimes that's what happens. We we we uh depending on our personality or psychology or personality, right? How we think, right? We can be catastrophic in our thinking or we can be polyana-ish in our thinking, and neither of those things are are real, and so it's a matter of adjusting, yeah, to what is unfolding in our lives.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I just I just looked it up. He said the quote is I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So is there um is there maybe some kind of is there something about our identities, our as as Christians, like our knowledge of of who and what we are as humans and as as Christians that is helpful in the process of waiting and being open to finding that purpose and then living with that intention and being comfortable through the transition, right? Like it's I don't know. I know a lot of people like they kind of wrap their lives up in their occupation, like you're saying, I'm a doctor. So like their whole identity, yes, identity is wrapped up in that they're a doctor, right? And then that somehow drives purpose and or like football players or something like that. And then when they retire, they've now lost their identity, and so they don't know how to transition or whatever, right? I'm a sort of thing. Yeah, so is there something about our like deeper, or at least on a spiritual um kind of reality of who and what we are that is helpful for these moments of tension in our lives?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I think it has to do a lot with going back to objectivity and maturity, right? Maturity, developmental maturity in terms of human formation, human maturity, and psychological and spiritual maturity. One of the things that I think is um a beautiful meditation or a beautiful uh theme to reflect on is this whole idea that uh the the Second Vatican Council fathers brought back or tried to re renew in the church and the idea of it being a pilgrim church. That this is a journey. And so this is not the final resting place. And so I think that helps a lot when you're like, okay, I am I am in a moment, I am in transition. My whole life is transition. I from baptism till till death till I transition into my eternal life and the fullness of life when the Lord comes. Um and I think it's sometimes we forget those images that we have and we we take them for granted, and we don't really enter into the greatness of that design or the greatness of that um vision of the church, right? That we are in a in we are a pilgrim church. We are we are moving through space and time, and we as a church are growing organically and developing until we reach uh the full stature of maturity in Christ, whatever that may be like. And I think the human uh fear of change, of instability, sometimes enslaves us to seek consolation and finding stability and other things that are not stable. For example, again, work, pleasure, whatever it might be, right? I I was just thinking of this. Um was that there was a movie, I think it was in the 90s, it was about the excess, really the excess of the 90s. Um was it American Psycho?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I've never actually seen that all the way through. I know I know the movie, you've seen clips of stuff. I've never seen the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00:It's there's some very racy sexual uh content in it. So yeah, be careful about that. Yeah, but it's the 90s, I guess. Yeah, yeah, it's and it's really basically about it's a uh film that speaks of the excess of the 90s, but how the excess of the 90s was really a mask for the emptiness of the person, right? That they they made everything about um what is the the what is the hottest restaurant to go to that has the waiting list that only the right people get in? And and it's interesting, one of the things that that is uh I found hilarious, they're all these uh it's all about hype, right? And so they all have these business cards, right? And they're all showing their business cards and they're talking about the print and the paper and all this other stuff. And so the the the jealousy and the envy and the hate that they feel for each other because of the business card, or perceiving their business card is better than somebody else's business card, right? And it goes back to the whole idea of this is where I'm trying to find stability. I'm trying to find uh a way to be better or to feel that I have conquered or that I have reached whatever the the my goal and to see that it's uh easily uh disrupted, right? And it's um yeah, it's not it's not a movie that I would recommend. Recommend uh again, because again, there's some very sexually explicit scenes in there, right? And so like but if you step back from it uh and you really see it as uh what it is, it's uh it's a it's a critique, it's a satire of the consumerist materialist uh values of uh the culture of the United States that we live in. And and and part of the uh it too is that uh the main character gets confused with somebody else. In other words, they don't really see each other. The fact that they confuse him for somebody else that is in the corporation as well, speaks of that they're not really even present to each other. They really don't know each other, recognize each other, and this whole idea that he can be easily confused with somebody else is also part of like, okay, so yeah, this is all the shallowness of it, right? Uh how trying to find an anchor in something that is temporal and passing is is foolish. So another movie rant, so never mind, sorry.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, this one wasn't sci-fi though, so okay, true. That's a maybe a is that a first for us? Maybe maybe um yeah, so it's like my purpose. Like I've defined my purpose to go be, I don't know, successful, business successful or something like that. Right. So now my intention, I live my life to uh toward this end of becoming business successful, but all of it's just empty.
SPEAKER_00:Right. For example, you know, when when a lot of these young persons uh their whole entire focus and their identity is to become a professional sports person, right? And they give it and give it and give it, and all of a sudden something happens that blow out your knee or something. You blow out your knee or your elbow or whatever, and all of a sudden everything, everything that you had pinned your hopes and dreams and future on is not gone. And so, yeah, that is a very difficult transition to make, right? Because everything, I was pinning everything, my identity on this particular thing. And I think it goes back to the question of intentionality. So, what is my intentionality? Is my intentionality focused on defining myself by something that I accomplish? Or is my intentionality focused upon the development of myself as a human person in the development of my emotional, psychological, spiritual, intellectual abilities to be able to be fully the human person that God desires me to be or asks me to be?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, then that's interesting too, because that makes me think Jesus says, paraphrasing, um if you hear my words and I don't know. and and do the things you're like a wise man who who built his foundation on bedrock right so there's there's something there to the the transitions and life and the uncertainties the storms that don't wash things away because you're grounded on something bigger so you have and that's that's also very godlike I uh or godish I want to say like it's his it it's his personality trait um I'm gonna give you this wonderful thing right you're my son you're my daughter I love you you are everything to me but then you have complete and total freedom to do whatever you want in life with and I won't give you any direction and you can go figure it out on your but if you can remember that you're my son and my daughter or my daughter and I love you and you're everything to me then you're gonna be okay no matter what as long as you keep coming back to that. Right to that that defining um truth right because that is what defines us if we remember and keep to that that we are God's children right that should be the primary identity that that rules in our life yeah so it's like okay your your kid is gone uh your friends and family member you're getting older in life people are passing away whatever people get sick people get hurt whatever you lose your job whatever right how you what you do with all of that I guess as long as you come back to am I am I navigating this in the understanding of who I am and and I guess that's kind of you were you were saying something similar to that back at the beginning um then ultimately I guess I it it really it's kind of funny and I'm I'm sure it's frustrating to people too it doesn't matter what you do as long as right like there's obviously there's always a little caveat like well I'm gonna go become the next I don't know axe murderer or something like that. No like it kind of matters what you're doing um because you can't do that like because Jesus there's consequences to that yeah yeah but I don't know it just it's just so interesting and I I and I think you know I was thinking about y'all and and the intentionality that you all take uh bring to your prayers like when you do Vespers before mass um it's slow on purpose right it is you take your time and what like what's tell me about that like why do you what's the intention behind taking your time with it?
SPEAKER_00:With the reciting of the Psalms well part of it is that okay it's scripture one two is that um the Holy Spirit still lives in the scripture it is the living spirit scripture is living for us still and it is God's truth and for us taking our time as we recite the Psalms you before uh before mass we have uh Lods and so we talk about our Lods yeah sorry sorry Absoluting Vespers yeah we take our time we we recite a line we take a breath we recite the next line we take a breath because basically you're either like okay I'm allowing the spirit to basically the community breathes together and and pauses together and it takes on a life of its own yeah as the community is is praying uh the psalms and it's a matter of being open to the spirit being allowing the spirit to speak to us allowing the word to kind of um dwell on the word for a moment and go to the next and just basically entering into the psalm prayer itself it's it's a matter of praying the psalm not just reciting the psalm and for us it's a matter of taking again it's not like long long but you know for some people that are coming go like dang y'all take your time like well no actually no this is just normal for us you know uh and I said either we're slow or y'all are fast whichever way you want to look at it so uh yeah the intentionality is to be present to the word as you pray the word of the Psalms and when you were um young or even recently have you ever found yourself where it's I mean I'm sure it's the same thing for people who go to the gym regularly if they're like I don't really want to be here right I I have other things on my mind.
SPEAKER_01:So how do you kind of set that aside back to the intentionality of I just want to be present with God because I know that the things that I'm setting aside when I come back to those, they'll be better because I was diligent or disciplined in this.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And I think that goes back to that helps in the learning to be objective about the self, right? I have to put this aside because it's time to go pray. It's you know and sometimes again or we have you know we have a very bad night and we don't sleep well or we get up and we're more exhausted than when we went to bed and like like you know five more minutes mom like well no you have to get up you have to get ready prepare yourself prepare yourself for you know prayer and mass and stuff and you basically just you know force yourself and sometimes it's hard to enter into it um you know bright eyed and bushy tailed but that doesn't really have to do with the intentionality the intentionality is I have to be responsible I have to be present this is what I have committed myself to and so this is what I need this is again sometimes it is duty bound but sometimes it's it's more than just being duty bound. Sometimes the duty bound or the duty of it helps you get through those difficult those difficult mornings or afternoons or evenings. And a lot of times it's just like once you start you know you remember why you're there and you're glad you're there and you're happy you're there and you just enter into it. And sometimes you know sometimes even the prayer is still dry and difficult but you're there and you go okay here Lord you know this is all I have to give you and so you my poverty is all I have to give so this is what I give you.
SPEAKER_01:And so again the intention is to be there and to be present and to to intercede for the church regardless of what your personal uh feeling is that day, that morning that evening or that night yeah well and it it's almost um the Christian reality of the Christian understanding of reality right the the way we understand God humanity Jesus like all that kind of stuff kind of when you when you really start to grasp it I guess then it's um like you're saying the showing up the duty bound it's almost like a form of justice like it's just that I'm doing this because uh look at like look at reality right look at who I am or what I am as a human and what God did for me and stuff like that. Yeah hmm okay well thanks for that thanks for helping me just chew on it a little bit you know what I mean take your one of my friends Anthony he always says take your time with it just I think that's a good phrase yeah think it through think it through yeah okay well let's wrap this up I will uh I'll see you very soon I hope yes and uh we'll get another episode okay and everyone who joined us thanks for listening thank you God bless bye bye
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