Who are you becoming ... accidentally?

I caught myself saying “y’all” the other day ... something I've never said ONCE in my life and as a Canadian, I don't think I've heard any other Canadians saying it either.

Which got me thinking:  if we can pick up something that small without even trying … what else are we absorbing from the people around us?

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Why you naturally start thinking, acting, and showing up like the people closest to you
• How your circle impacts your confidence, standards, and decisions (way more than you think)
• The truth about outgrowing relationships—and why it’s not as bad as people make it
• A powerful perspective on choosing partners and friendships that actually move you forward

This one’s a gentle but honest look at your choices and whether they are helping you grow or quietly keeping you where you are.

🎧 Listen in and see what shifts for you.

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Transcript

Welcome Back And Raspy Voice

The Surprising Y’all Moment

You Absorb More Than Words

Your Five People Shape You

Training With Stronger People

Self Worth And Who You Choose

Feeling Small In Bigger Rooms

Coaching That Challenges Excuses

Audit Your Circle And Media

Coaching Offers And Closing

SPEAKER_00 0:34

So let's fucking go. Welcome back to another episode of What the Fuck Did She Just Say? I still am struggling with getting my voice back, so my family has started calling me Roz. Roz off of Monsters Inc., you know, that like crotchety snail. Wazowski, you forgot to file your paperwork last night. So I do kind of sound like her, strangely enough, but I'm not as crotchety. I don't think, anyway. Anyway, today I want to talk about something I found so fascinating. So a few months ago, I was recording a podcast, and out of my mouth flew the word y'all. Now, I live in Canada. I don't think I know any Canadians that say the word y'all. Like we just don't up here. It's just not one of the terms that we typically use. But out of my mouth flew that word. It was shocking to me. But here's the thing. I have been doing the program Belle Vital. And Autumn Calla Breeze in that program, she does say the word y'all a lot of the time. Because I was so invested in this program and I'd done up until that time, I think I'd done two months or three months of the program, five days a week, every single day, every single morning, spending time with Autumn Calabris. And she's saying this word y'all, I started saying it too. The thing is, is that we don't just pick up habits from people that are around us. We absorb people. We absorb what we're listening to. We absorb who we spend time with. So we'll often start to pick up slang, we'll start to pick up terms, we'll start to pick up. I mean, when I worked in the prison, I was working with a woman who was from the East Coast of Canada, and I started talking like her. I started having like a tiny little bit of an accent, not even meaning to. And I started thinking, if I can pick up the word y'all, because I'm spending an hour every morning, five days a week with Autumn Celebris, and I hear her saying it maybe once or twice every morning, probably less than that, to be honest with you. So if I can accidentally pick up a word like that, which I would never say myself, what else are we picking up without even realizing it? I have said this to my kids forever. And I'm sure you've heard this before, that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And I used to say this to my kids like, you're the average. You become the average of the five friends that you hang out with. So stop hanging out with fucking idiots. You know what I mean? Like, hang out with people that push you to be better, that inspire you to be more, because it isn't just what they do, it's how they think, how they handle stress, how they see themselves, the things that they talk about. You know, the kind of people that when you get around them and all they want to do is bitch and moan and complain, you eventually come home and you start to bitch and moan and complain. When I was skating and we would be warming up, if everyone was kind of going slower, with the, let's say the five people that I was hanging out with were going slower, I'm going to go slower. I might start out as the person who is like really pushing myself, but eventually I'm going to slow down to match the group. I need to be around the people that are going to push me. If I want to push myself, I want to get into the groups that are stronger. I want to compete against people that are better than me, but I want to train with people that are better than me as well. The only way to get better is to put yourself in areas where people push you as well. I was listening to a story this morning that kind of went along with this, and it was a video from a woman named Cody Sanchez. I don't know. She just came up on my social media. I don't even know what she does, but she was talking about her husband. And she said that you can tell someone's level of self-worth by the partner that they choose. And she said, you rise or fall to the level of the person next to you. So choose wisely. We do either rise or fall to the level of the person next to us, whether that happens to be the partner that we have or the friends that we have or the people in our businesses that we have next to us. We rise or fall to the level of the person next to us. So we need to intentionally get ourselves in rooms with people that challenge us, with people who have done the thing that we really want to do. And a lot of times I notice women will come to me a little bit apprehensive, feeling a little bit possibly intimidated. I know when I started working with um Janet Kingsford, I remember thinking, why in the fuck am I in this group? Like, why am I like all of these women are making huge, huge dollars? Their businesses are flying. And at the time I wasn't. So I felt like such a small little potato in this big, huge field. When I got into the room and I got over my own bullshit, not only did I belong in that room, but I can thrive in that room. I was pushed to be better, to achieve more, to create more. And all of a sudden, I realized that I belonged in the damn room. And then I could actually lead some of these women that I was still feeling intimidated by. It was amazing, but I felt like I really understood the concept of getting yourself in a room so that you can rise. This same concept goes. It's about your friends, it's about the people you vent to, it's the people you celebrate with, it's the people you text when the shit hits the fan. If you are surrounded by people who normalize playing small, you will still play small. If you are surrounded by people who take responsibility, who move, who push you to be better, who challenge you, you'll start moving too. This is why coaching works so well, because I am not here to listen to your bullshit excuses. I'm not here to just pat you on the ass and tell you that everything is going to be fine. And I totally understand it's really, really hard. I'm here to challenge the way that you think so that you can move forward. And I think this is the part that people don't always want to hear. Like, I'm not here to be a cheerleader, I'm here to be a coach. And so a lot of times we we go to our friends for support, but you can still love your friends and maybe outgrow them. You can feel drained after conversations. You might be the one that's carrying everyone and then wondering why you're exhausted. I mean, if you think you're trying to run a race, but you're holding someone else's backpack, eventually you're gonna resent that weight. Pay particular attention to who you are spending time with for what purpose. So if you are spending time with people who, let's say they complain a lot of the time, but what you want to do is stop complaining. So then I want you to get into a room with people that don't complain. Pay attention to what you're watching on social media and intentionally choose more uplifting social media people to follow. Get a coach who's not going to listen to your complaints because complaining just keeps us stuck. And that doesn't mean that you have to stop hanging out with friends, but it does mean that you pay particular attention to how you feel when you're with them. Ask yourself these questions like how do I feel after I spend time with this person? Am I expanded or do feel do I feel smaller? Do I feel restricted? Do they challenge me or are they keeping me comfortable? Am I growing or am I just maintaining? I will never forget when I was a beach body coach, my applying, my coach and I were having this conversation. And she said, What's different about coaches that really get results is that they're willing to stand on ground and challenge behavior and not just justify excuses. And that goes for business and that goes for weight loss and it goes for absolutely everything. Too many women, I feel, are ready to justify excuses. If what you want is to move forward, you cannot ask someone who will justify your excuses for advice, right? You need to get around a person who will challenge you. You don't become a different version of yourself by accident, you become her by choice, you become her by design. And if I can pick up y'all as a Canadian, as an Albert who has never said the word before, who doesn't hang out in Texas all the time. But if I could pick up the word y'all, imagine what you could pick up if you intentionally surrounded yourself with people who think bigger, move faster, expect more. Pay attention to who's in your circle. They shape you whether you like it or not. And if you want to move forward, add more people that push you to be better. And if you're wanting to up level yourself fast, you can join any of my coaching containers, which is one-on-one coaching. And then I also have the powerhouse membership. And that powerhouse membership is where I show up once a week and I do some small little live training that really helps you to think differently, be different, act different, and manifest differently. You become your powerful version of yourself, not a powerful version of someone else, the most powerful, successful version of you. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you've had some laughs, maybe some ideas, and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you always want to. If you feel so cold, I would love it if you would go with you. Oh, still.