Why Your Goals Are Keeping You Stuck

Setting New Year's resolutions every year but not ever feeling like you make progress? What if I told you the goal you're setting and how you're setting it is setting you up for failure from the start?

As human beings our nature is to move toward pleasure and away from pain. So how to continue showing up doing all the challenging things that are required in order to grow? I share all the details in this week's episode so listen up!

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Talk soon!
K


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Transcript

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What are your goals for the year? What are you hoping to achieve? What are you wanting to create in your life and what are you doing to get there? Hey, everyone. Welcome to The Nourished and Thriving Show. I'm your host, Katie Lovitt. I'm a registered dietitian on a mission to help you increase your impact and legacy on the world while healing your gut and reducing your IBS symptoms. I'm so grateful to have you here. Each week I'll inspire you to live vibrantly and provide valuable resources and information that empowers you to take bold action towards your health goals. Before we dive in, make sure you follow or subscribe to my show wherever you're listening so you never miss an episode. Ready? Let's go! hey everybody. It is partway through January in case you didn't know. So, um, this is actually something that I presented on. If you're listening to this episode, as it comes out, I presented on it last week at a weight loss summit, actually. I was an expert speaker on this week, long weight loss as summit. If you're interested in getting that, I think that there's still access. You may just have to pay for it now at this point. Um, from, from the host site, I didn't host the summit. I was just a speaker. Um, but you know, I wanted to share my presentation with you guys too. Um, you're not going to see the slides and it's going to be a little bit more succinct because I like to keep these podcasts episodes pretty short and digestible. Pun intended there. Uh, for you guys. Cause I know that everyone's really busy. But I wanted to carry the same points across. That's not really the point of a goal, right? Like we set goals not to stay exactly where we are or even go backwards. We create goals because we want to transform because we want to change because we want to grow. Uh, we want some sort of a different result in some area of our life. And so we set a goal. To do that. But the way that you set your goal really matters the way that you set the goal can make or break your results. And this is something that I spend a lot of time working with my clients on, because if you don't get this right, nothing else is going to fall into place. Right now, our goals can evolve. And there is actually a new episode coming out. Um, I think it'll be next week that we're going to talk about reevaluating goals and progress and what we're doing to make sure that we're moving forward on track, how we want to. So make sure you catch that whenever it comes out. Um, but you need a really, really strong foundation starting out. It's okay. If you have objectively review it and look down the road and decide it needs to be adjusting, and we're going to talk through some of those situations where that may make sense. But it needs to be a goal that is achievable. That's going to push you towards the right kinds of action that are going to help you get the results. From the beginning. Now I love new years have talked about this before. Um, I think it's just a really cool time to get a fresh start, spend some time reflecting on all of the things that you're really grateful for. Um, or want less seven year life. I just think it's a really great time for people to take a close look at all of those things. We can do those things all the time and regularly. And in fact, the people who tend to grow the most. Uh, live extraordinary lives. Uh, tend to reevaluate these things really regularly. People who live extraordinary lives and who are leaders. Um, Tend to always be reflecting. But what I'm going to teach you guys today is going to help you set the groundwork to doing that, right? You don't go from where you are right now, which is maybe setting a new year's resolution to, to living a really intentional, um, life. That's really framed around your goals that you're thinking about all the time, but that's maybe the direction that you want to move into. If you want to really transform a lot of things in your life. Let's talk about what some new year's resolutions look like and what some of those goals look like. It might be, oh, I want to get healthier. Oh, I want to travel more. I want to be successful in my job. I want to exercise more. I want to have improved finances. Maybe I want to, you know, be in a relationship or improve my marriage. If you're married. Those are all goals that I hear really commonly. When I hear that 80%. People abandon their new year's resolutions by the end of January 80%. Here we are. It's like the last full week of January. And, you know, in all likelihood you listening may have already abandoned your new year's resolution. If that's the case. Don't wait until next January to start over. I was talking with a client about this a couple of weeks ago. She said you, she usually in her head a lot about, um, If the morning didn't go as planned. Well, today's blown. I'll just have to start fresh tomorrow. If you know, her week just got really out of control and things didn't go as expected. Well, there's that week I'll just have to start fresh on Monday. The fact of the matter is every single day is a gift. That you want to start fresh. Okay. You get to choose. Are you going to be happy? Are you going to be sad? Are you going to be angry? Are you going to be, you know, Resentful are you going to feel joy? Um, you get to choose that and whatever you choose to feel is okay. But know that you're choosing that. And when it, when you're ready to choose something else, that's good. That's great too. You can choose something else whenever you want. You are the author of your story here, right? You don't need to wait for some, you know, calendar, date or date on, you know, date on the calendar a certain time, certain time of year. Um, three types of goals that really never tend to work out. And that lead you to feeling like you need that fresh start. These are the goals that. That fail. They never work out. Um, the 80% of people who have been in their new year's resolutions are probably setting goals like these, that we're about to talk through. Um, so those goals are, should goals, someday goals and surface goals. I like some alliteration. What can I say? So. The schickles let's briefly talk about that first. So these are things that you think you're supposed to want to do. So these are things like, oh, I should lose weight. So I'm going to say that I'm going to lose weight for my new year's resolution, but you're not actually that unhappy with the weight that you're at. But you're not really unhealthy or there's not really, uh, something that's motivating you a lot to, to move in that direction to take action towards that goal. Um, to do the action that's required to achieve that goal. We're going to talk a little bit about why that is in a minute, but we're going to finish going through these goals. So that's should goals. Someday goals. Are things that you do want. But the things that you wish or hope will someday happen, they're not clearly defined. Um, you're like, oh, I really hope that someday I'll be able to have a second home. Uh, man. I really wish that I would just be super healthy whenever I'm at, you know, an 85 year old. Um, even if you're not laying the groundwork for that right now, you don't have really a roadmap or a plan to help get you to that point. Um, I really hope that I get to travel more this next year, but you're not planning trips. You're not actively saving the money and making those budget decisions you need to make. To be able to make that happen. You're just there some Eagles. I have a, on my side, a little picture of a lady with both of her fingers crossed and holding her breath. It's like, you're doing all the things like hoping, but you're not actually planning on a way to help it come to fruition. So should goals send bagels and then the third kind of goal that I see never working or what I call surface goals. Um, these are, these are goals that you really want to happen, just like the someday goals. Um, and you may have some plans that may be more detailed. Like I. Michael is to, you know, work out five days a week at 5:00 AM before I get ready for work. That's great. That's great, but the surface goal, you don't have any deeper feelings connected with that goal. You haven't stopped and thought through why that is either the white is a should, like, because it's something I should do. I should be fit and healthy. Or it's not something you've really thought about, like why you're super motivated to do this. So you have to write your goal in a way. That feels so pleasurable. Whenever you think about it. Listen to that again. Your goal needs to feel. That is required to achieve that goal. Right. But because we're humans. We avoid discomfort and seek the pleasure. That's why I see people with chronic GI issues. This may be you where, you know, maybe you're really struggling with diarrhea or heartburn or bloating. You're really dedicated and you take a lot of, you know, action you're on the elimination diets. You're doing all the things. It's because the pain of your symptoms went away. Okay. The surface goals are not going to get you there. You have to have a really, really deep motivation. To take the action required to achieve the goal for the longterm. Now. I will say this. It's a journey and there are going to be some moments in time where our action is not lining up with the destination or the, you know, the end insight, right? It's it's not going to be the best action that helps get you towards your goal. But whenever you have the big reason why the bigger vision. Um, whenever you were in this healthy state, right. And what all you're able to do, who you're showing up as who you're, you know, how you're acting, what you're surrounded by all of that. Um, so should goals, someday goals and surface goals. Don't get us there because they're not enough to make us. Really, you know, avoid pleasure and seek out pain or the discomfort of growth, which is opposite of human nature. I want to share a quote from Andrew Carnegie. Um, it says, if you want to be happy, Set a goal that commands your thoughts. Liberates your energy. Listen to God again. And I want you to think about your goal and think about it in reference to this quote. Command your thoughts. Does it take up your thoughts every minute of every day? It's all you can think about because you want to achieve the goal so badly. It commands your thoughts. It liberates your energy. When you think about this goal, you are. Oh, energized and compelled to take action towards it because it's so exciting for you. Commands your thoughts, it liberates your energy. And it inspires your hopes. Hopeful for your future hopeful for what your life looks like as you move toward creating that goal and living that intentional life that you were designed to live. The why is the pleasure? The high is what motivates you on those days that you don't want to show up and take the action that needs to be taken. I go through all of this. I have a whole section in my gut rehab course about this. So there's no way I can cover all of it today, but hopefully this gives you guys a little bit to think through. What are your goals for the year? Uh, what are you hoping to achieve? What are you wanting to create in your life and what are you doing to get there? If I can be of any assistance along the way, I would love to play a part in that role. Um, in that role, in that life that you're creating for yourself. I love seeing my clients showing up and living the extraordinary lives that they were created to live. And in write a few words about why you like listening to this show each week. It means the world. It helps me keep showing up for you. And it helps me reach more people with this message that other people really need to hear. So you're doing your part to help make the world a better place to buy by leaving a review and a rating. So that's all for today. Make sure you tune in next week and share those goals with me. Talk later. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to the entire episode. I hope you are feeling inspired and empowered to take bold action towards your health goals. If you enjoy what you heard, don't forget to follow my show so you never miss a new episode. And it would mean the world to me, if you left me a review, so others know what to expect from my show. Last, get in touch. Let me know what bold action you're taking. Let me know how you're inspired. Follow me on Instagram@the_healthygut_dietitian. I've put a link in my show notes for you, so you can simply click and follow. Come say hi, I respond to all my messages and I can't wait to get in touch.