40. Unveiling the Unseen: How Ignoring Your Finances Can Lead to Financial Trouble

Join us as Laura Sexton explores the connection between ignoring financial issues and intensifying stress and anxiety. Drawing parallels between a small splinter that grows into a painful infection and financial troubles, she emphasizes the importance of identifying and addressing financial challenges early to avoid future distress. Laura shares statistics about financial stress in America and offers insights into the emotional and psychological aspects of money management, including its impact on relationships. She encourages listeners to create a spending plan for their lives, find hidden expenses, and prioritize their financial future. The episode concludes with a reminder that tackling financial challenges head-on can lead to a brighter and more intentional legacy.

What you will not identify will only intensify!

In this episode you’ll learn:

·       statistics related to financial stress in the United States, including anxiety, debt, and living paycheck to paycheck

·      the power of awareness

·      how to identify blind spots

·      emotional & psychological aspects to financial avoidance

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Transcript

Laura: 0:01

Hello and welcome to the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. I'm Laura Sexton, your trusted financial coach and money mindset specialist. Join me as we explore the world of money and money mindset while also paving the way for a lasting legacy that extends far beyond money. Together we'll eliminate stress, amplify freedom, and ensure you stop paying for your past so you can start saving for your future. If you're seeking peace in your finances, more margin in your budget, and a legacy that inspires generations to come, you're in the right place. Hey, accelerators. Have you ever had splinter that you're just too afraid to remove? We had a situation recently where one of my kids was playing in some wood chips and got just a little splinter, but they were afraid to come tell mom and let me know about it. Now, if I knew about the splinter, there were things we could do. We could soak it in warm water so the skin would allow the to be removed and we could get it out in a non invasive way. However, they didn't tell me about it right away. In fact, they didn't tell me about it until the next morning when they woke up and it was red and puffy and it hurt. You see what you will not identify will only intensify. What does splinters have to do with money? I know I hear the question, but I wanted a story. To go with this that you are going to see viscerally in your mind. Can you imagine a splinter in your hand? It's in your left palm, just right near your wrist and it's little little shouldn't bother me much. Right? It's just a little thing. It's no big deal. That's what my that's what my kid said when I was like, why didn't you come down? And she goes, well, it's so little. I didn't think it would hurt this much. By not telling me right away, so I could help her while it was a small problem it grew into a much bigger problem. When it comes to money. If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. That's why it's important to pay attention. It's why it's important to see things when they're small. So they don't get bigger. I thought I'd throw some stats at you today and I hope that these are helpful to you. 63% of Americans who have 50, 000 or more in debt feel anxious talking about money. That totally makes sense. If I have this crushing weight on my shoulders, I don't really want to go and tell people about it. Like my child, it was hurting her, but she was embarrassed and she didn't want to come tell me. 47 percent of Americans say that the level of their debt creates stress and anxiety. Y'all, what we are talking about is adding pressure to your body that does not need to be there. Stress and anxiety on your body can cause you to become ill. You're going to start losing sleep. Your body's going to start breaking down because you were adding stress and it's a weight on your shoulders. 61 percent of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. They have their head in the sand and they are just getting by. 40 percent of Americans say they are often stressed about money. This is insane. And if you were listening to me right now, I do not want you to be part of that 40%. I do not want you to be often stressed about money. Guys, I have my stuff together when it comes to money. We are on a good trajectory. We're not using debt anymore. We are being intentional with how we spend our money. We are moving forward. And I will still tell you, there are days where I feel stressed. There are days where I think, oh, my goodness, there's this big, giant goal that I have, and I, I'm not progressing as fast as I want to. Now, I could put my head in the sand and pop up every 6 months and go, why am I not closer? But that's not going to help. So, on the days where I feel that little bit of stress, I tell my body, thank you for the alarm bells. I know that you're trying to warn me and protect me. This sounds a little woo woo, but please come with me on this. Yes. I hear the alarm bells. Thank you for trying to protect my brain. What is it that you're trying to protect me from? And then I figure out what it is that I am stressing about because there is something that my brain is remembering from back in the day. When I did not have my stuff together when it came to my money, I can identify that. I can rectify that, and then I can move forward. Generally, at that point, I'm moving forward and I'm moving forward faster. That is what I do as a coach guys. In case you were wondering what it looks like. 55 percent of Americans say that they have balances on their credit cards. That's not right. 55 percent of Americans have balances on their credit cards, but only 45 percent of Americans say they have balances on their credit cards. It's interesting. There's 10 percent there that has no idea what's happening in their life. No clue, but that means that 55 percent of people that have balances on their cards, 100 percent of them are paying penalties. You are getting penalized for decisions that you have made in your past. You don't think that adds stress and anxiety to your life? Of course it does. You're constantly being punished for a past decision. It's impossible with that on your mind to not be overwhelmed, to not feel anxiety, to not feel stress. When your past is constantly chasing you. Yes, I would feel stressed too. That's why I want all of your money to be forward focused. All of our money is helping us in the future. That's what happens when we're saving for retirement, when we have our rainy day funds set up. When our emergency funds and our sinking funds are all set up and ready to go. Guess what? Murphy decides he wants to show up and make things difficult for you. Guess what? I have the ability to put a buffer between an emergency and my life. You can't get to me because I already have a system set up here. I want that for you too, my friends. Student Loan Payments. Start this weekend, October 1st, student loan payments start. Are you ready? 45, 000, 000 people have student loans. 45 million, and it's 1. 7 trillion dollars. Wow. That's got to be heavy. Only 5 percent of them paid anything towards the principal during the three year pause. That's crazy. Only 5 percent of them took the government up on the ability to put 100 percent of their payment towards principal. If you didn't pay anything towards your student loans, one, we can't go back. Two, no shame. You made a choice. We are here today. Payments start up on the 1st. You can no longer be an ostrich. You can no longer put your head in the sand. And pretend like things aren't happening around you. You have to start making some changes. So let me tell you, when you are an ostrich with your head in the sand, you leave your butt exposed. You're going to get kicked into your rear end. Pull your head out of the sand. Let's get going. Let's make some changes because we need to be done with this stress and anxiety. We live in an anxiety ridden culture. We need to do better. I hope that this podcast and the series of shows allows you to find some peace, to find some hope, to find a new way of doing things. There are plenty of episodes in the back catalog now, where I talk about how do you save up for an emergency fund? How do you budget? How do you do the debt snowball? But if you still need help, click down in the show notes, there is a money mastery button. Click on that. It's going to get you over to my calendar, or we can schedule a time to talk where I can help you get clarity on what your next financial step should be. So I'm going to help you identify some blind spots because this may be helpful for you. We no longer want to ignore finances because that leads to trouble. Right? Where are we going to look for these blind spots? You could ask people close to you. You would say, if you were to take a look at me, where would you say? I'm overspending. Okay. So that can be super embarrassing. If it's somebody that loves you and cares about you and wants all the best for you. Like your mother, for instance, or your significant other, one of those caring people in your life that sees you for who you really are, they might tell you, like my husband, hey, hon, we need to stop spending 200 a month on energy drinks. I come to him lovingly. I say, honey, I love you. Please stop. This isn't good for you. It's not good for our budget. But that can be kind of embarrassing. So only go to a person that is going to speak to you with love, in love, and it's going to do it kindly. Another way that you can identify some blind spots would be to look through old statements. Go to your Online banking, look through it. What categories are showing up most often? Where are you spending all your money? I can promise you that you were going to see something in there that you just didn't even think that you were spending a lot of money on. Identify what is important to you and your family. Everything else can go away. Everything else is just sand slipping through your fingers. You don't need it. I'm going to ask you a question that I think it's important while you're looking over the statements, and if you still have credit cards, pull up your credit card statements, because I can guarantee you there's more fluff on there than on your debit card statements. On average, you spend 15 to 18 percent more per transaction. Using other people's money. The question I want you to ask yourself while you were looking over your statements is: are there places that I could benefit by cutting them out of my life. Let me tell you a quick story. I had the hardest time letting go of cable. Now, this may seem absolutely crazy to you because you're like, We all have Netflix and Hulu and Disney Plus and all the things. What do you need cable for? Well, I was an actor. I needed... I needed to be able to watch all the shows at all the times, no matter what. But that actually wasn't true because one, I wasn't spending a lot of time watching all of the newest and greatest shows that I would have been auditioning for. I would, if I was going to audition, I'd go find some back episodes of the show that I was going to audition for, but for the most part, I was watching Real Housewives, Teen Mom, Don't Judge Me, and Fixer Upper shows. That was what I was watching. When I had cable, I was numbing my mind watching television. I wasn't doing any kind of research for the most part. And what I learned was that when I cut the ability to watch those things out of my life, I became way more productive. I got a tremendous benefit by letting go of something I thought I needed. And so I want you to ask yourself, is there a place that I can benefit by cutting something out of my life? There's a little self reflection that needs to go on here. If you need a sounding board again, click my money mastery button down in the bottom, and we will talk or you can jump into my DMs on Instagram. Guys, I love having DM conversations. Sometimes that's easier for me because I'm up in the middle of the night and I can respond to you or I have a few minutes during the middle of the day. Shoot over a DM. Happy to do it. Please reach out if you need anything. Now that you're looking at your bank statements and if you have them credit card statements. I want you to start writing down what your average spending is. I want you to write down the bills that you have to pay, I want you to write down how much your housing costs, I want you to write down your transportation costs, I want you to do a budget. That's what we're talking about. Yes, right now we are making a spending plan for your life. People find an average of 300 to 750 in mindless spending when they make a budget. Can you imagine a 750 bump in pay this month? It's like, you got a raise 750. Yes, please. Thank you. But you have to be intentional with how you spend your money in order to get that raise. Now, I'm going to tell my dollars where to go before they even come in. I'm going to make sure that all my bills are paid for the month. Using this 0 based budget. Now, you can be like me and you don't get paid on the 1st You don't get paid on regular number day that. Okay. Get paid on the rent's going to come out. You may have to do a little bit of juggling to make sure that your bills are covered. I will tell you that I got paid on the 23rd and that's going to cover my rent on October the 1st. That means that I have to have a little bit of self discipline. I can't just spend all that money on whatever I want to. I have to say, okay, some of this money is for my rent, other money is for food, money for groceries, things like that. Just a little inside baseball here. My son keeps running into the recording studio here and, uh, screaming about the show that he is watching. My children are my number one priority. That means that if my children need me. I'm going to stop what I'm doing. I'm going to take care of them. And I have set my life up in such a way that I'm able to do that. So this is just a little, you know, color commentary of what my life looks like. All right. Zero based budgets. The important thing that I want you to know is that you have to decide how you want your life to look. Now you can do future planning with your money. I know there's. Okay. There's a way to do your money where you say, okay, I'm just going to spend these dollars and I like that. And I think that you should spend these dollars on these things, but I don't want you to forget something. I need you to have a whole future approach to what you're doing. So, if I spend these dollars for these 2 weeks. That's great, but I need to make sure that I have the next 2 weeks covered as well because we had 1 month where we got a 3rd paycheck. Our 3rd paycheck came in on the 29th of the month. My husband was like, oh, this is extra money. We can go spend it on whatever we want and he starts spending the money in his brain. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy. No, this is not quote unquote, an extra check for us. Because we have to pay rent in a couple of days, like, we can't just go spend all this. We need to use this money for the next set of weeks. However, the way our extra check is set up right now on October, the 4th, I get an extra check that is money that doesn't have to go to things that happened to the 1st of the month because that was covered by last check and I don't have to cover the things in the 2nd half of the month because that's going to be covered by the next check. So this is money that I get to spend a little freer. Thank Then other months, because it's an extra check. It's a 3rd check this month, which is super exciting. So, when we're talking about the idea of what you will not identify will only intensify. You can't ignore your finances because that will lead to trouble. Right? There is an emotional and psychological aspect to this. Do you remember that splinter at the beginning with with my daughter and the splinter in her hand? Avoidance leads to anxiety and stress and lack of sleep and loss of focus and strained relationships. And in the case of that splinter Infection no good. No good comes out of letting this little Annoying thing go and letting it get infected and letting it get worse and worse and worse. You can't just leave it. If you Don't aim your money towards something It's all going to float out in the ether and just go and be spent on whatever, whenever, or it's going to be payments for past decisions. Another emotional psychological aspect to ignoring your finances is that it can lead to strained relationships. This is strained friendships. Oh, I'm so sorry. I can't go out with you this weekend because I can't afford it or Hey, but you, you borrowed 26 and 39 cents last week for Taco Bell. I need you to give it to me. Can you imagine how stressful that might be? I don't want you living in a constant you give me this money and I have this money for you. And that will strain a relationship. What's worse is that the statistics right now in America say that 40 percent of marriages and because of money. And I will tell you that when you start the divorce proceedings, you turn your relationship into a business transaction. So, if it wasn't a problem with money in the beginning, it can quickly turn that way. I don't want a strained relationship for you. I want joy in your marriage. I want unity in your marriage. I want harmony in your marriage. And in fact, in November, November 30th, I'm going to be doing a Unify Money and Marriage Seminar. It's going to be awesome. One hour of your life where we will talk about the best, quickest, easiest way for you to gain unity in your money and your marriage. I'm just throwing that out there a little early here. We haven't even started promoting it yet, but it is coming. If you have started hiding purchases from your spouse, that's not good. That's lying. Let's not do that. Having separate bank accounts, Why? Why are you on two different trajectories with your life? Why aren't you combined? What you were doing by hiding purchases or keeping your money separate because you don't want to have that conversation. You don't want to fight about money. You're kicking the can down the road. And my question to you is what else are you hiding? What else are you failing to talk about? Because if it's okay for me to take this piece of my life over here and not share it with you, it's okay for me to do that other piece of my life over here. And it's okay for me to just spend more time with this person. And you know, it's not really a big deal. What starts as a little splinter will turn into an infected wound if you do not pay attention to it. So, please. This is so important to me and to you and your relationships, pay attention to your money. I know you're like, Laura, this got heavy real quick. I know. But I'm so passionate about this and I want good things for you and your life. I'm just going to reiterate this very quickly. What you will not identify will only intensify. So if there is an area of your money that you were ignoring, Why is that? If there's one area of your money that you're like, I don't even want to think about that. I don't even want to deal with it. Student loans are that way for a lot of people. It's so big. I can't deal with it. If it's so big, you can't deal with it. It's only going to get bigger. If you put yourself on an income driven repayment plan, you are never going to pay down the principal because the way those are set up is that it will only cover interest and that principal will be a monkey on your back for 25 years. Or more, because they may decide that they're not going to do the 20 to 25 year program anymore. People that got that is a blessing to them that the government finally did what they said that they were going to do and people that have been paying every month on their student loans for 25 years are finally free of them; or you can do what I did and just get it all done in 3. In three years, my husband and I said, we're not gonna do this anymore. And in three years we paid off$372,347. Not all of that was student loans, but a lot of it was, and we sat down and we knocked it out because we were intentional about it. I don't want things hanging over your head because it's too scary to pay attention to. If you ignore your finances it will lead to financial trouble. Point blank period. If you are ready to aim at success and put all of your money towards the future. Let's go. Hit up my DMS, let me know if you have any questions, reach out to me. If you want to have a conversation, I'm here for you and I'm so excited about the legacy that you are going to create. You're going to create a family that talks about money. You're going to be a family that has a strong, unified marriage because you talk about your money. You are going to be a really good friend that doesn't borrow money from your friends and doesn't beg for it back. You are going to leave an outstanding legacy because today, you are no longer putting your head in the sand like an ostrich. You are no longer ignoring your finances. You have decided to identify the problem so that it will not get worse. Accelerators, I am so thrilled that you have been here with me today. Have an absolutely wonderful week. Go out and make a difference. Thank you for investing your time with us today on the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. Remember, your legacy isn't just measured in dollars and cents, but in the tools, habits, mindset, and reputation you leave behind. Don't just listen to the show, but take action on what you've learned. Share this wisdom with a friend who can benefit and help us spread the word by rating and reviewing the podcast. For questions or encouragement, reach out to me on Instagram at Accelerate Your Legacy or explore the resources listed in the show notes. I will be back with you next week. Until then, build your legacy with intention.