REFS NEED LOVE TOO
An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside.
REFS NEED LOVE TOO
Empowering the Next Generation of Adult Soccer Officials and Keeping them Warm in Cold Weather
Are you ready to conquer the challenges of refereeing in cold weather conditions? Discover why I, David Gerson, prefer the chill to the sweltering heat and hear all about my top tips for staying warm on the pitch. Learn how you can maintain your professionalism while keeping comfortable, with insights into acceptable cold weather gear for referees and grassroots officials. We’ll explore everything from hats to long pants, ensuring you’re prepared for any icy encounter on the field.
Join me on a journey into the camaraderie and shared passion that binds referees from every walk of life. You’ll get a behind-the-scenes look at how we tackle tough calls, like potential penalties and debated offside goals, through effective communication and teamwork. With over ten years of experience under my belt, I’ll share stories of mutual support among referees and how we navigate the highs and lows together, always striving to uphold the integrity of the game we love.
For those of you looking to start your refereeing journey, I’ve got words of encouragement and practical advice. Find out how to gain certification, build confidence through practical experience, and handle criticism like a pro. We’ll discuss the importance of fitness, impartiality, and of course, the joy of giving back to the sport. Plus, hear an inspiring story from Wyoming that highlights the human side of officiating and our impact on young players. Whether you’re experienced or just starting, this episode promises valuable insights and stories from the field. And don't miss a special announcement about a secret new item launching soon that could be the perfect holiday gift!
Hello and welcome to the refs. Need love to podcast the show that gives you a real, raw and behind the scenes view of one of the hardest jobs on the pitch the referee. I'm your host, David Gerson, a grassroots referee with 10 years of experience and over 1200 matches under my belt. You can find me at refsneedlove2.com, on TikTok, on Instagram and at YouTube. This week we'll kick it off with some match review with a focus on cold weather gear, some words of advice for adult refs just starting out and, of course, some of our favorite letters from the mailbag. Okay, some post-match review.
Speaker 1:I reffed yesterday and the weather was absolutely perfect and I've been talking about gorgeous like a crisp, 45 degrees in the morning, fog rising off the pitch. When I got out there it was just gorgeous, Like literally like a scene out of a movie, Like if you scripted, you know, and it was a cool, crisp morning as the dew was on the grass and all that kind of stuff. It was gorgeous. And let me tell you I would rather cold than heat on any day, because at least cold you can layer up to stay warm and if you're roughing in the morning, it's going to warm up later in the day, which is nice With heat, there isn't much you can do except suffer. If it's a hundred degrees outside and you're on turf and it's 110 degrees on the turf, you're suffering. If it's like wet cold, like a January February, late January, early February high school match here in Georgia, where we actually play high school matches at the end of January, and it's 40 degrees outside and like raining and you're out there on the pitch for a full like girls game or maybe a JV boys and then a boys varsity game after that for four hours in the rain and the cold, that's brutal. But cold, dry in the morning is like the best you could ever do because you can layer up right. You can layer up to stay warm.
Speaker 1:And as far as staying warm on the pitch, I think it's important to cover what's acceptable to wear and not acceptable gear to wear for referees. What's acceptable to wear and not acceptable gear to wear for referees. Essentially, my advice is that if it's in the laws of the game for players, it's okay for you as a referee. I'm just going to say okay because obviously if you're doing like NCAA Division I, they may be much more prescriptive as to what they think is acceptable or an MLS official or something like that. You're doing high-level USL. Listen, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to my brothers and sisters who are grassroots referees out there who are just trying to get by on the pitch. You may be doing two, three, four games in a day, All right, here's the deal.
Speaker 1:Hats, yes, Most of the heat that escapes your body escapes through your head if it's uncovered. If it's cold outside, wearing a hat is great. So again it can be what they call in Canada a toque, which would be a we call it a winter hat here in America. Again, like a snow hat, if you will, not with a little palm on top, but a black snow hat, and again it's all black. No writing, no logos. Additionally, you could wear your baseball style cap. Again, no writing, no logos. Additionally, you could wear your baseball style cap. Again, no writing, no logos, unless it's a US soccer logo, and they do sell US soccer equipment. So if you wanted to get some cold weather gear with US soccer on it, feel free to do so, but it shouldn't have a company name on it, Certainly shouldn't have some other team name on it or anything like that. It should be all black, otherwise why do I say that's okay because in the laws of the game, under acceptable clothing and attire, they do say that you can indeed wear a baseball cap that's white, and there was actually two different goalkeepers this weekend, as a matter of fact, who wore baseball caps on their heads because it was very sunny, jockeyingly in England for a period of the day. But you are allowed to wear baseball caps. It's actually in the laws of the game. So you can wear a head cover and it says excluding goalkeeper's caps because that's like for protection, but they must be black. There you go, or the same color as the shirt that's for players. But again, all good there and can't be dangerous to the player. So nothing like really hard or any closing mechanisms around your neck or anything like that. So, yeah, you can wear a hat and a baseball style hat, a head cover on the pitch, no problem at all. So all good there. As it relates to equipment, Other things that you guys can wear on the pitch to stay warm are undergarments.
Speaker 1:Okay, so layers underneath your jersey. So for the people that are on the pitch or their equipment players, they have to wear. If they're wearing an undergarment, everyone on the on the team has to have the exact same color For us as referees. The color we would wear underneath is going to be black, that's right. You can wear an underarmor layer underneath, but it's got to be black.
Speaker 1:Very important on that. One Can't have white or any other color. Black, that's what it's got to be. Long pants that's right. Referees can indeed wear like. Tracksuit bottoms would be the word that you could actually use for it. We're not talking about jeans. We're not talking about real baggy sweatpants out there that don't look like you're ready to start running in there. But tracksuit bottoms are okay. Again, goalkeepers are allowed to wear them. You should be allowed to wear them. So again, that's something that you can do to stay warm actually out on the pitch.
Speaker 1:The next one gloves. That's right. I hate having cold hands. I hate it with a passion. So I have a pair of thin, waterproof black gloves and I'm telling you, it makes all the difference in the world just having that extra little bit of layer on my hands to keep my hands warm, whether I'm on the center of the pitch as a ref or I'm an assistant referee and I can grasp my whistle or my flag. So really important on there. And again, just be smart on the pitch. Wear layers if you can, Definitely. Obviously.
Speaker 1:If you want to invest in the long sleeve jerseys, invest in the long sleeve jerseys, but not everyone has them. I personally don't. Yes, I know, if you want to move up to regional and you're working at highest levels of youth or semi-professional matches, you're going to want to invest in those long sleeve jerseys, just because they look better than wearing a short sleeve and an underarm. I get it, so it just yeah. Be considerate of yourself out there. If you're freezing and you're uncomfortable, it's going to be hard to do a good job. Again, wear layers, keep everything black and you will be absolutely fine. All right Now for the games that I was working.
Speaker 1:I had a wonderful crew and I got to tell you one thing I love about being a referee is the diversity of the people that I get to meet as a referee, and if you want to see the two people I ref with yesterday, hop onto my Instagram and you can see a picture of it. But I love that I meet people of all different ages Okay, I mean from 13 years old out there reffing with me to 75 years old out there working with me. Nationalities I've met someone from every single part of the world as a referee. I worked with them, whether they're from South Africa, whether they're from Malaysia, whether they're certainly all across South America, you name it. Some of my best refereeing buddies are from, like, Venezuela or Argentina and Mexico and every place in between, all across Europe, Africa. It's crazy. I actually was working with a couple referees that spoke French but they were from, like, different parts of Africa. It was like, oh, just the connections that they had. But I've met it was actually funny. I met some referees that were literally they didn't know each other, but their families were from, spoke the same exact dialect of whatever language they were speaking.
Speaker 1:From Nigeria, Like it's amazing the way it brings so many people together on the pitch, languages, jobs. Again, I've reffed with CEOs of companies, Did you not? They don't tell everyone they're a CEO, but they're a CEO of a big company. I've reffed people that work for the Federal Reserve. I've reffed plenty of pilots, police officers, firefighters, you name it computer programmers, it's like everything and everywhere.
Speaker 1:Different socioeconomic background, People who are very well-to-do, but this is their passion. They don't do it because they need the money, but they love it. People who are just starting out and maybe working two or three jobs and this this is a critical part of their paycheck to keep them doing, because maybe they're a musician or maybe they're an actor and they're this is a critical part of their extra income. I just love it because what we all share is a love of the game and, honestly, as soon as you step onto that pitch, you guys are fast friends Like I. I could literally. I think I might be able to count on one hand, after 10 plus years of being a referee, the time that I did not connect with a certain referee. Literally maybe it's two or three times. It's rare, but out of meeting thousands of refs, pretty much everyone were always like fast friends and we're ready to go, hang in and work together and laugh and back each other up. It's awesome, All right.
Speaker 1:So there were two calls of note in the match yesterday that caused a little controversy. So it was two matches that I reffed. I was an assistant for the first one and then a center for the second, but on the first one it's very interesting. So I am the assistant referee and this was lead assistant because the play was on my side of the pitch and a player was driving in towards goal and a defender came from behind and I poked the ball away. And I say, I guess, poke the ball away because from my angle again the player is moving away from me towards the center of the penalty area and it looked like the player got tripped. But the center referee had a perfect angle of it. I looked up because I'm not popping my flag unless I really know that the center referee doesn't have a good look at that and it's not right in front of me. So I got to be 100% sure. So I looked up and the center referee is very clearly ball all ball, no foul, like really clearly verbalized, made good physical mechanics, no foul, whatever it was, and the defending team dribbles the ball up the field.
Speaker 1:But it was definitely a controversial call because I thought it might have been a penalty and you could hear a lot of the parents were very upset and the kid obviously thought he got fouled, was pretty upset and that was in like the last two minutes of the match, Wouldn't you know? A minute into stoppage time there is an attack and there was a potential offside knockout. Now I'll tell you my other assistant referee. She was fantastic. She had called four or five other offside calls during the game, Seemed like she was on top of everything.
Speaker 1:But this play in particular the defending team's coach is like screaming like offside, offside and he hadn't been saying anything all game and the player dribbles in one-on-one with the goalkeeper and scores and they wind up tying it 1-1. And I got to tell you the coach was really upset. He was definitely upset and the parents were upset and again, I couldn't see it from my side of the pitch. Game winds up ending and I just have to say that, although the coach was very upset in the moment, he collected himself and both he and his team and great leadership here shook hands with the opposing team, shook hands with the refs after the match, didn't say anything about the play, but we're standing together as a crew after the match, which is what you do. You run to the center circle and you just chat and debrief before you walk over to the side. You run to the center circle and you just chat and debrief before you walk over to the side.
Speaker 1:And I said to the the ref it was like how'd you feel about that play? And it's usually be like oh yeah, they were definitely on side or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. And she was just a little unsure, she's, I'm not sure what happened. And really that can happen sometimes, where they off, where they on, sometimes if you're not a hundred percent dialed in in or the play switches really quick, you don't know. And the center referee was like yeah, I think they were, I think they were offside. And he asked me is what do you do in that situation If the assistant referee doesn't raise the flag and you're the center referee and you think that they were offside, should you raise your flag? And I said hypothetically, and again, we don't know what happened on this play and I'm not speaking specifically about this play here now, but I would say you are the center of referee. Okay, Sometimes your assistant referee is going to raise their flag for offside and it's not because it was like deliberately played by the defender.
Speaker 1:That could be a thing. Or let's say, you're working with a very junior assistant referee and they're not very confident in their calls and they've made some mistakes in the match. So you're paying extra attention to offside and they don't call an offside and you see it. Yeah, you could certainly raise your arm and blow that whistle and call an offside offense. So I just encourage the center referee. It's if you guys look at each other and you're you as the center really thought they were off and you could tell if the assistant referee was not very confident about that call. Make eye contact, assistant referee.
Speaker 1:If you don't feel good about it, raise your flag, get the center referee's attention, have a conversation. Center referee, go have that conversation with the AR because you can still change your call before the next restart. Does it make this look good for you to change a call like that? No, but you need to do what's right. If you feel and you're really confident, 100% confident that kid was offside, you saw it and you're the center referee and you feel really strong and he was in an offside position before that ball was played by a teammate, then that's the call that needs to be made.
Speaker 1:What you would do in that scenario is, after you have that conversation with the AR, walk over to the or jog over to the refs and explain to them or, I'm sorry, the refs, the coaches and explain guys, here's what happened. Do you feel she missed it? I'm really confident that I did see that this player was indeed offside. I'm making call. It's going to be offside. And, yes, is the team that scored going to be upset? Are their parents going to be upset? Are the players going to be upset? Yes, Can you just let it go and it is what it is If there was a mistake made and it's a little better for appearances, maybe, but I'm the kind of guy I want to get it right or it's going to eat at me for the next week. So just all that to say. If you make a mistake, you can still correct it before the next restart and sometimes that's what you got to do.
Speaker 1:All right, my second match was great. I sent her to U16 boys Academy match and it was exciting. There were switches, there was three balls, there was bangers in this game. It was awesome, Loved it. Oh my gosh. The kids were great, the coach was great. I tell you I this is literally the type of game that makes you want to ref every single day of the week. I like every single weekend. If I had games like this every single week, I think I would ref every single day of my life, and people would always ref every single day if they had experience that I did. It was wonderful. I only had one yellow card. The entire match for a reckless challenge. Very clear Everyone who could do a card was coming. On this one no argument on this one. It was great, I felt strong. No argument on this one, it was great, I felt strong.
Speaker 1:Parents behaved except for one moment. And so we're really, say, two-thirds down the pitch on the AR2 side of the field and AR2 calls for, and there's like a kind of bank play on the sideline, a lot of three or four players around it and the assistant referee calls the ball going in favor of the defending team coming out and all of a sudden, like two or three parents start yelling. Oh no, because I guess the opposing team's parents were sitting right there and no one had argued. Call the entire game. But as soon as the parents start yelling about a call because it's late in the match, then one of the players who thought should have been his throw starts yelling and throws down the box. He had picked up the ball and he's yeah, I don't know what he said, but he yelled no way, say, about five feet away from the assistant referee. They don't want to make it seem like he jumped in this girl's face, but anytime you get demonstrative towards one of my ars. I got a problem and so I immediately closed the distance really quick and I was like hey, back up and I very clearly explained to the player. But I want the coaches here to respect the call. The call is not changing. Have some respect to the assistant referee. If I hear you raise your voice again in her direction, it will certainly be a car, and so I just calmly got him back and he collected himself. I didn't have an issue after that.
Speaker 1:But I think it's just again one of these examples of parents don't really understand and appreciate how much their behavior affects the kids on the pitch and that the parents need to behave just like the kids need to behave on the pitch. If we don't accept dissent from players, then I'm certainly not going to accept that dissent from parents. Could I carted this kid? I Could I have carted this kid. I probably could have carted this kid and we talked about it afterwards as refs and it was the only time that it happened during the game. We nipped it in the bud immediately. It wasn't like he got into the personal spaces the assistant referee. He didn't walk towards her because that's where he was standing. He was about five feet away when he turned and was called. Whatever he said. I can't remember what he said, but again, it's just. Parents need to be better examples. It's just not acceptable. It's not acceptable for a kid, it's not acceptable for a ref, for the parents, and they need to be conscious of that out there. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:The only other thing I'll say about the match is that I had one play where a defender was coming in slide tackling for a ball and they came in sliding with their studs up in front of them. They didn't have their foot pointed down and they cleanly got a ball. Now there was another opponent running towards the ball as well and I don't think he made contact with him. I think he made like the ball hits the defender and the defender falls over, or the opponent falls over, and after the play he's like, hey, can you the defender? And the defender falls over. Or the opponent falls over and after the play is like, hey, can you talk to that kid about the studs up challenge? I'm like, yeah, it totally. Hey. Obviously, if I see something that's dangerous, reckless, I'll call it. But it didn't look like he made any contact with the opponent, but it's like the reckless nature of the challenge by going into a challenge with your studs up. Should I have called a foul, going against them? I don't know. I'm looking forward to seeing the video, but I think that's part of being a good referee.
Speaker 1:Is you think about these things that happened during a match. What would I do differently, what can I learn from it and how could I handle it better next time? So I was just the only two things, but otherwise it was awesome. Game ended 1-1. You know, they were like two great goals. Like an absolute ridiculous banger. To tie it up with three minutes left from 35 yards out like a laser, no spin, just like bang, no bend on it, just like literally top bins. Like it was ridiculous.
Speaker 1:It was absolutely for the year 16 at this level of game I was doing. It was a like stupid, amazing goal. Like everyone on the pitch was just like, oh my gosh, it was nuts, Insane. I love that. It was so cool. But after the game the coach came up to me and he said it's so refreshing to have you as a ref. Like I'm able to relax and enjoy the game and just coach and I'm like, yeah, man, that's the goal I want you to coach. I want the players to play. I want the parents to not parent out there but be good, positive spectators, and that's one of the greatest things that I can do as a referee. It was a lot of fun. All right.
Speaker 1:Now some mailbag questions about and they're all about starting out as a referee and I will say also a lot of people think referees start when like 13, 14. Again, I started when I was 40. I'm very empathetic to people who start late in life. All right, the first one, from Jeremy, and he says I've been watching your videos on Facebook for a while now and I just wanted to reach out and say thank you.
Speaker 1:While I haven't played much soccer, except when I was young about nine years ago, I started getting season tickets to the Columbus crew and I've become a huge fan of just soccer in general. I've always enjoyed your review of plays and even as a fan, I've been trying to get better understanding how the game is played and how a ref makes a call. I started talking to a friend of mine that has kids playing soccer and how he signed up to be a referee in his area since they were always needing them. Both of us enjoy your videos and have had some great conversations about the different plays we have seen with his new perspective. We have been talking about it for a bit and last weekend I decided to sign up after talking with one of my seatmates at the games about a similar situation in Columbus. I also want to say that the way you explain things in your videos and the advice you give also helped give me the drive to try and do something to give back to my community for this great game. I plan on starting my online training this weekend and, while I don't know how soon I'll be able to actually referee, I wanted to just try and reach out and ask if you have any advice on someone who's just starting this journey. Again, really appreciate your videos. Thank you, Jeremy.
Speaker 1:All right, and I got one more here from Nate. He says I love your content. My son is finishing up a senior year at club this year and I know the challenges you guys face as officials, as I played the game from the age of seven to 21,. I would like to give back to it, but I've been so tied up watching my son's game I don't even know where to start. Do you have any advice? I have a very solid grasp on the rules and even rule changes that I've gone on over the last couple of years and now that my son is just about out of high school and club athletics, I will not be biased and I would like to participate. Club athletics I will not be biased and I would like to participate. I also live in Georgia, just like you do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your service.
Speaker 1:And I wrote back to him and I'm going to go through some things. That my advice for referees. But here's how I was replying to him. I wrote my friend, you just need to jump in with both feet. You obviously know the game at a very deep level, both as a player and as a parent. You are probably going to be better than 70% of the referees on the peach week to week. No offense to referees out there and I said just the fact that you care enough to write this message shows me that you have the right mentality to be humble, willing to learn and a desire to do an excellent job.
Speaker 1:It's so much fun. Seriously, even when you have moaning and groaning from players, coaches and spectators, you are still getting the joy of being part of the beautiful game. I get to see kids learn, grow and develop. I get to see great shots and amazing stays and let me tell you, yesterday I saw some beauties. Best of all, I know that I'm giving those kids and adults a great experience on the pitch. They can focus on playing the game. They can trust I'm going to be a good referee. It's a great feeling. Let me know if I can help.
Speaker 1:And he wrote me a little response here before I get into the other pointers. He writes man, you might be even a better coach than my old high school coach. He went 39 years and I still stay in touch with this to this day. God do I love this beautiful game. I'll be in contact. Thank you again. So that was a great message there from Nate.
Speaker 1:All right, so here are some pointers. You know the first thing, of course, you got to learn the rules of the game. I'm not saying you need to spend hours upon hours reading the laws of the game, but, my gosh, maybe a little bit of time actually trying to understand some key considerations for fouls, what's careless, what's reckless, what's serious foul play. Understanding the considerations for fouls, what's careless, what's reckless, what's serious? Foul play. Understanding the considerations for stopping a promising attack, Understanding the considerations for dogs, Understanding the considerations for what is a handball offense or offside, there's a lot to the laws of the game and I will tell you. I actually had the pleasure of having lunch this week with Carrie Seitz, the VP of refereeing for US soccer, and even she would tell you no one knows all of the laws of the game. They're always changing, there is always something new to learn and the considerations change. There's all these considerations, there's all these things buried in the Q&A of IFAD. There's all these different things and ways to look at plays and every play is different.
Speaker 1:But you do need to spend some time trying to learn the laws of the game. You got to, whether you're reading it, whether you're watching a lot of training sessions, whether you're watching a lot on TV and trying to analyze plays. My gosh, those MLS. They do. The pro does all of the VAR key considerations the week. I forget what it's called right now. It'll come to me in a few minutes, but it is so valuable. They do it every week. It's on YouTube. They break down like six or seven plays that were yellow card or red card decisions, key match decisions, and I'm telling you, man. Listening to them break it down, listening to the VAR and the assistant VAR talk to the referee about what they're seeing and why they think it might be a red card or a yellow card or a penalty pick is so valuable. So invest the time to learn the laws of the game and that'll help you for when you get onto the pitch, All right.
Speaker 1:Obviously, you need to get certified as a referee. If you're not a referee and you're listening to this already and you're interested every certification process everywhere is a little bit different. The different classes you need to go through, online courses you need to go through but I got to tell you those certifications and the online training sessions. It just ain't much. The thing you really need to do is just get experience. That's what you got to do. You got to jump in with both feet and you got to start reffing matches.
Speaker 1:Start as an assistant referee in recreational leagues. I know sometimes it can be a little bit boring and maybe you feel like it's beneath you because you played at a high level. Oh, I played in college, I played semi-pro, but you haven't been a ref yet. So spend some time to carry a flag in some U12 matches and start just getting experience, Start getting focused, keeping your eyes open, listening, starting to get comfortable with just being in that atmosphere wearing that jersey. You're going to understand the game from a whole different perspective when you're a referee, as opposed to being a player or spectator as a coach Really important. Then, once you start becoming a center referee man and you've got that whistle and you've got to make that calls again, it's a completely different experience from anything else that you've done before. When you need to make a call as to what is a foul and what is not a foul on some 50-50, or have to make that key penalty kick decision or have to show that first card, let me tell you, all of those things are hard, but the only way you get better at it is by getting experience and getting repetitions on the pitch.
Speaker 1:The fourth thing I'll say is being in shape. You've got to have physical fitness. If you are not physically fit and you can't get yourself up and down the pitch to be in the right position to make the call, it's going to be really hard for you to be effective. Yes, and you referee from the center circle? Yes, you can. Should you referee from the center circle? No, you shouldn't Make sure you start getting into good practice of stretching and warmups to prevent injuries on the pitch? Warmups prevent injuries on the pitch. I'm talking to you adult referees out there, getting proper nutrition, getting good rest before your matches and afterwards with proper recovery. But, my gosh, I tell you I am so inspired every week to work out because I know it's going to help me be a better referee on the weekends.
Speaker 1:The fifth thing, again being impartial. You are an ambassador of the game of soccer or football, however you want to describe it. It's so important that you don't show bias toward any one team or a player or a coach and that you make decisions based on the rules of the game. You are expected to have the highest levels of integrity and professionalism at all times. I get messages from people like quoting me things that they've heard a referee say to coaches and players and I'm sure that referee thinks they're being funny. Guys, it's not funny, or at least they don't want you to be funny. Like, honestly, they'll go to a comedy show If they want to hear someone be funny. They don't want you to be fun. They want you to be professional and they want you to seem impartial and they want you to seem like you're going to really have no bias whatsoever. Get rid of all those witty comebacks and one-liners and just focus on being a professional out there on the pitch. I will tell you, it'll help you and your credibility in the match and your match control, but it'll help everyone else out there too.
Speaker 1:The last thing I'm going to say and this is so important and I wish there was more about this in the training for new referees is be ready for criticism. It is a thing. Being a referee means that you're going to have to make difficult decisions and sometimes people are going to disagree with your calls. It's a thing. Be prepared for it and don't take it personally. You got to have a little bit of thick skin as it relates to criticism. I'm not talking about dissent public, personal, persistent, different, different Talking about criticism. I'm talking about people objecting to your call or disagreeing with your call. That is normal.
Speaker 1:There are two teams on the pitch. Every call you make, someone's going to like it. Generally, someone. Someone's going to like it Generally, someone's not going to like it. Even if it was clear as day, Go to any professional match, whatnot. And if there's a foul called against the home team, the whole stadium's going bananas. It's not as bad as grassroots level. I hope some people can be objective on that. But be honest every time a call is made, someone is probably not going to be happy if it's against their team. That is normal.
Speaker 1:Now, I know it's hard as a referee when we're out there on the pitch and we're by ourself with that whistle and we have a hundred people judging every call we make, if not more. But that's the job. We are going to try and officiate to the best of our ability, to the best of our knowledge of the laws of the game. Based on what we see at the moment, the foul occurs, or what we believe the foul occurs, or the offside offense occurs, or whatever it is. You just need to do the best you possibly can and every time you're out there on the pitch you're going to see something you've never seen before and it's just going to go into your head and it's going to be another part of that library of knowledge that you have. And it's going to be another part of that library of knowledge that you have and it's going to be a small little library of knowledge beginning only one bookshelf and eventually it's going to be an entire massive library of knowledge over years upon years, upon years. You're going to get better every single week. You're going to see more and more scenarios. You're going to have experience more and more situations. You're going to be ready and understand what's happening out there. Your positioning is going to get better, your communication is going to get better. Your mechanics are going to get better. But you just got to be ready for that criticism. It's going to come. It's going to come, but don't let it stop you, Don't let it knock you down, Don't let it prevent you from becoming the referee that you want to be. Those are just some of my tips for getting started as a ref. I hope you do it All right.
Speaker 1:I've got one more little or two more actually letters from the mail back here and then we'll wrap it up. This one, just like, absolutely made me smile. This is from the great state of Wyoming and we messaged back and forth a bunch I'm not going to read everything that we wrote here, but just short story. The bunch I'm not going to read everything that we wrote here, but just short story. He's referring a championship match and in this match, where he felt the referee felt he was a little bit out of position and a player got fouled hard in the back maybe an elbow to the back, but he didn't see it. Kid was really upset about it.
Speaker 1:The game plays out and then in the handshake line after the match, this kid hauls off and kicks the kid on the opponent team and so immediately referee runs in to separate the kid, Coaches come in, pull the kids apart and he received a red card for violent conduct and the kid was in tears. He was very upset it's not a good situation Just reacted very poorly. After the game the kid came up to him and apologized and the referee got down on one knee, was just talking to him. They were having a conversation about what happened. The kid kept getting closer and closer and eventually the referee was just like buddy, do you just need a hug? And he squeezed the ever-living life out of him. Just squeezed him so hard, he just really needed a hug.
Speaker 1:At another tournament later on, the mother came up and was talking to the referee and the referee had an idea about presenting a red card to the kid, but with a positive message on it. He and the kid got together at a later tournament and presented him with the red card after a great conversation and it said quote all we can control is our attitude and effort on the pitch, is our attitude and effort on the pitch. And this is something that his former mentor had done for a young lady who had gotten a yellow card in a match and eventually wound up becoming a referee, and it was just really meaningful. The young boy and him had a great conversation. He presented the red card. The kid was saying that during the match, the other team was saying things like you suck, you aren't any good. And the ref asked him is any of that true? And he said no. And he's again just trying to reinforce like all we can do is control our attitude and effort on the pitch. And he's gotten to see this kid play a couple more times and he's just been absolutely phenomenal, doing great out there. And so I just want to read that to you as a message.
Speaker 1:As referees, sometimes we're more than just an adjudicator of the match. Right, we can set a tone for the match. During the match, we can also set a tone off the pitch as well. We are authority figures. There are a lot of young kids who look up to us out there. So it's so important for us not only to be great officiators in the match the best out there but to be human as well and to appreciate, especially for these young kids, that they are going through a lot of emotions and hormones and maybe on the pitch they have a moment that they're not proud of. But having some empathy for that is a very good thing to do. I love referee Tim from Wyoming. Great job being a leader both on and off the pitch. We appreciate it All right, I've got one last one here and then I'm going to wrap this one up.
Speaker 1:This is a confidential one. Said hey, I made a call in a varsity boys game tonight that left a lot of people unhappy, but the center I was working with thinks it was the call of the season. I waited for the ball to go into the net and then raised my flag as an attacking player in an offside position when the shot was taken, lifted up his foot in front of the goalkeeper and the ball went directly underneath, which visibly affected the way the goalkeeper played the ball. If I had left my flag down, no one on the conceding team would have said anything, but because I raised my flag and the center and I had a discussion leading to the final decision of offside. The attacking players, coaches, substitutes and spectators went crazy. Game ended 3-3.
Speaker 1:I'm going to pause right there because it's an offside defense. If you're in the line of sight of the shot, okay. And you affect the play by raising your foot up and you're in an offside position and you've affected the goalkeeper from playing that ball, okay, or any defender. Well, that's an offside defense. Great job, so he says.
Speaker 1:After the game I shook the coach's hand and said good job. To which he replied quote, I wish I could say the same for you, unquote. And then proceeded to tell me quote, I made a call that changed the outcome of the game, quote. And he says I said yes, I made it. So your team didn't get a win it didn't deserve by disallowing an illegally scored goal. That's literally what I get paid to come out here and do, unquote. Anyway, it's a tough feeling that a lot of families are sitting at home right now talking about how I blew the game for them. Do you have any advice on how to handle coaches and benches going crazy when I made the right call?
Speaker 1:I'm used to a certain level of dissent, but this was nothing like I've experienced before. It's a situation where I don't think I would feel as bad if I just let the goal stand, because no one would have questioned it. But I know I did the right thing by making the right call. Just not sure how to handle a situation like that without having a seemingly severe reaction from the team receiving the worst end of the call. So I wrote to him. This is my reply. I appreciate that I have come to find out. Oh, my reply. I appreciate that I have come to find out. Oh, he. I wrote to him and then he writes back to me. I appreciate that I've come to find out. This coach is known to have an issue and has received multiple cautions for dissent and an ejection for whatever it is.
Speaker 1:The NFHS equivalent of abusive, insulting language is the season. I felt bad after making calls I later knew were wrong, but that was certainly the worst I've ever felt, knowing I made the right decision. I honestly think it was one of the best calls I've made in eight years as a referee. I feel much better about it now. The video came back inconclusive of offside because it was shot from the press box and the play happened near the six yard box, but it's still clearly showed. The keeper wait for the attacker to move his leg up before reacting to the shot. And yeah, I could just say listen, my high school yearbook quote, I kid you not is it's better to stand alone for the right reasons than be together for the wrong? So I have a long history of making calls that I believe to be right, even if I know it's going to upset people. So, yeah, good for you, sir. You made the right call.
Speaker 1:All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed today's pod. Starting something new is never easy. The important thing is that we start. Becoming a ref is beneficial on so many different levels, both physically and emotionally, and that's why I love it. Also, please support the Ref's Need Love 2 store online. I have a secret new item coming to the store this weekend. I cannot wait. Make sure to check my channels Tuesday or Wednesday for the big reveal, just in time for the holidays. As always, everything gets poured back into making this channel possible. Please take a moment at the conclusion of today's show to rate the podcast specifically on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Those ratings are huge for small podcasters like me. I sincerely appreciate your support and, as always, I wish you all the best and hope your next match is red card free.