REFS NEED LOVE TOO
An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside.
Episodes
93 episodes
Howard Webb’s Lessons And Dealing With Negative Self-Talk
Big games don’t get easier; you get better at carrying them. Ahead of my first State Cup final, I open up about nerves, preparation, and the quiet work that turns pressure into focus: fitness tuned for late sprints, gear and crew checks that pr...
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30:27
Saving Grassroots Soccer Through Referee Support with The Referee Advocates
We sat down with Daneen Gonçalves, founder and chief visionary officer of The Referee Advocates, to unpack a simple idea with massive impact: treat referees like an integral and supported part of your club, build clear development pathways and ...
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53:36
From Haters To Hardware: Making Better Buzzer Flags For All Referees
Tired of holding your flag up for Offside, while the whole sideline screams “REF!”? We go straight at the problem and bring on engineer and referee Sam Rall, the creator of RareBit Offcial buzzer flags. He shows how a simple haptic signal can t...
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45:14
A Young Ref Stands Up To Abuse And Finds Her Voice: Special Guest Mia Clark
The whistle isn’t the hard part. It’s the noise around it—sidelines boiling over, subtle bias that undermines authority, and those early games where one bad interaction can end a career before it starts. We sit down with rising official Mia Cla...
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42:17
My Dad's Legacy: Kindness, Integrity and LOVE
Grief has a way of focusing the lens on what actually matters: how someone lived, how they treated those who couldn't fight back, and what they stood for even when it was unpopular. My dad never reffed, but he taught me everything about making ...
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24:00
From Corporate Burnout to Passion Project: New Career and New Referees
Landing my dream job as Director of Referee Programming and Development at SoCal Soccer League marks the culmination of a four-year journey that began when I started the Refs Need Love Too channel as a joke in 2021. What started as an escape fr...
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44:15
From Georgia to the World Cup: Referee Matthew Conger Shares Lessons Learned on the Biggest Stage
What does it take to officiate at the highest level of world soccer? Matthew Conger, who refereed at both the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cups, pulls back the curtain on the journey from grassroots to elite officiating in this fascinating conversa...
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39:13
Crazy Soccer Parents! The Path to Healthier Youth Sports
What if the secret to transforming youth soccer wasn't silencing parents, but engaging them properly? In this eye-opening conversation, Skye Eddy, founder of SoccerParenting.com and "The Sideline Project" challenges the conventional wisdom abou...
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49:19
Why Referees Need to Master the Art of Letting Go
What separates great referees from good ones isn't just knowledge of the laws—it's emotional intelligence. This deeply personal episode explores the challenging balance of life as a sports official while introducing a powerful mental framework ...
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34:42
You're Not the Bad Guy: Why People Get Angry at Refs and What to Do About It
Ever wonder why soccer fields seem to ignite emotions like few other places? In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Ryan Martin – known as the Anger Professor – reveals the perfect psychological storm that makes pitches emotional pressure cooker...
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47:03
Navigating the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game with Leland Grant
Soccer's law book undergoes a mini-revolution with the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game, and referee Leland Grant, National Referee Coach and Umpiro founder, breaks down the four most significant changes poised to transform how matches unfold across ...
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47:12
Life Lessons and Pregame Checklists: Finding Joy On and Off the Pitch
Ever wonder how to stay passionate while juggling multiple demanding roles? This candid episode dives into the reality of balancing life as a referee, business professional, content creator, and parent during an especially hectic season.
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45:21
The Path to NCAA College Soccer Officiating: A Conversation with John Collins
Ever wondered what it takes to officiate at the collegiate level? John Collins, the National Coordinator of Men's and Women's Soccer Officials for the NCAA, pulls back the curtain on a world that represents both challenge and opportunity for ad...
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52:37
From Center Back to Life Coach: Soccer's Mental Game with MLS Legend Michael Parkhust
What does it take to excel as a defender when you don't fit the physical prototype? Michael Parkhurst, who captained Atlanta United to their 2018 MLS Cup victory, reveals how his mind became his greatest strength on the soccer pitch."My...
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48:38
Passport to the Pitch with TravelRef: A Guide to Traveling as a Referee
Have you ever wondered how the best soccer referees reach the pinnacle of their profession? For national referee Bowen Taylor, the answer lies in stepping out of your comfort zone and traveling to officiate matches across the country.At...
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41:07
Protecting Refs: Safety vs. Traditional Uniform Standards
The soccer referee uniform has become an unexpected battleground where tradition, practicality, and safety collide. Drawing from over 11 years and 1,300 matches of experience, I share my frustration with the often unreasonable uniform standards...
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42:05
Changing the Game: The Renegade Lawyer Referee Ben Glass on Soccer's Culture Problem
What happens when we normalize abuse toward the most vulnerable members of our sports community? David Gerson, host of Refs Need Love Too, joins attorney Ben Glass on the Renegade Lawyer podcast to tackle one of youth sports' most pervasive pro...
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56:03
Untold Sacrifice: Balancing Life, Career and being a Pro Referee with Melisssa Gonzalez
What does it really take to officiate at soccer's highest levels while maintaining a corporate career?Pro assistant referee Melissa Gonzalez pulls back the curtain on the demanding reality behind the flags and whistles."The perception i...
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38:55
Mastering Game Management: Insights from FIFA Referee Ismail Elfath
Join us for a captivating conversation with Ismail Elfath, a FIFA International Referee who has officiated matches on the world stage. Throughout the episode, Ismail outlines the critical skills of game management and the significance of body l...
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37:45
From World Cups to Grassroots: Kari Seitz's Vision for Refereeing at U.S. Soccer
Kari Seitz, one of the most distinguished figures in soccer officiating, unravels the secrets of her trailblazing career in our latest episode. As the Vice President of Referees for US Soccer and the former FIFA head of refereeing for women, Ka...
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48:57
Mastering Soccer Officiating: Leland Grant on Elite Referee Qualities and the Innovative Footwear Design of Umpiro
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44:18
Understanding Referee Challenges: Empathy, Personal Struggles, and Youth Sports Dynamics
Michael Oliver's controversial red card decision during the Arsenal vs. Wolves match has ignited debates far beyond the pitch, demanding a closer look at the high-stakes world of refereeing. Join us as we unpack the intense scrutiny faced by of...
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43:48
Emergency POD: Brian Barlow from Offside on the Updated US Soccer Referee Abuse Policy
What constitutes abuse in the realm of US Soccer? Join us for a deep dive into the pressing issue of referee abuse with Brian Barlow, the force behind the Offside page on Facebook, as we navigate the new policy spearheaded by Kari Seitz, VP of ...
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27:55
Navigating Legal Challenges and Ensuring Referee Safety with Andres Vidales
Step into the intricate world of sports officiating with seasoned litigation and trial attorney Andres Vidaldez, who brings a dual perspective as both a legal expert and a referee. Discover the unique intersection of law and sports as Andres sh...
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46:52