REFS NEED LOVE TOO
An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside.
REFS NEED LOVE TOO
State Cup Finals: We Can Have Passion Without Being Rude
What happens when you walk away from a secure corporate job to pursue your passion for running a small business, refereeing and mentorship? Join me, David Gerson, as I recount the exhilarating journey from the office to the field, where the thrill of officiating high-stakes matches like the Georgia State Cup semi-finals and finals became my new reality. Through this transition, I discovered the power of female representation in high-level soccer games and found fulfillment in mentoring young referees, ultimately choosing family and well-being over climbing the corporate ladder.
Explore the critical yet behind-the-scenes role of a fourth official, where managing substitutions and being ready to step in as the main referee underscore the adaptability essential in this position. My firsthand experiences from the State Cup, including the unexpected honor of receiving a commemorative ring, highlight the recognition referees seldom receive, yet deeply appreciate. Modern tools like the Refr sports platform and the Ref6 Pro app have become invaluable resources that optimize our efficiency and effectiveness on the field.
Personal stories bring warmth and depth to this episode, especially as I share my son Jacob's journey back to refereeing after overcoming challenges. Listener interactions, like Dan's touching letter about discovering his passion for the sport through his son's games, weave a rich tapestry of community and inspiration. Together, we celebrate shared experiences, learn from the unpredictable nature of the game. Thank you for being part of this supportive community, and here's wishing you a holiday season filled with fair play and no red cards.
Hello and welcome to the Ref Sneed Love 2 podcast, a show that gives you a real raw and behind-the-scenes view of one of the hardest jobs on the pitch the referee. I'm your host, david Gerson, a grassroots referee and certified mentor with over 10 years of experience and over 1,300 matches under my belt. You can find me at refsneedlovetocom, on Insta, on TikTok and on YouTube. Today we are going to chat about State Cup coaches who are rude and working with my son. All right, guys, a quick note before we get into today's pod.
Speaker 0:I actually popped out of bed at 5.30 this morning. I actually left my corporate job. My last day was this past Friday and I tell you that Monday, tuesday, wednesday I'm recording this I've been like nonstop busy action, whether it's stuff around the house, stuff about refs, need love too. I've got another project that I'm working on, a consulting gig right now. Like, popped out of bed 5.30, got down to my gym by 5.45 after I fed the dogs and worked out for an hour and 20 minutes, and while I did it I actually voice scripted today's podcast and I was all really excited. I spent like a lot of time going through it and everything and then I like hopped out of my note to grab a letter from the mailbag and add it in, and I went back to find my note and it was gone. My entire hour and 15 minutes that I spent working on scripting out this podcast was gone. But I still have like things I want to talk about. So I decided all right, I'm just going to go ahead and record it and do the best job that I can. So if I meander a little bit, forgive me. I'm just passionate about these subjects and I want to get them out, even if it's not as concise as I normally would like to be. So topic number one state cup. That's right.
Speaker 0:I got assigned not just to refereeing the state cup but actually for the state cup of Georgia semifinals and finals, and it's considered to be a pretty big honor here where I live If you're selected to work the semifinals or the finals. They are normally reserved for regional and national referees, so you got to definitely be top-notch to be there. It doesn't always mean regional or national referees. That are people that are usually on their way to being a regional referee or just very highly experienced and professional referees For the girls game. So they have girls one weekend and then the following weekend they have the boys semifinals and finals. They generally want to try and get all female crews if they can. This is a really big deal.
Speaker 0:Our state assigner, mike Wright he's a wonderful man and he's been in the game and involved in the game for over 50 years Really wants to make sure that the ladies on the pitch see referees that they can connect with and identify with out there and see that, yes, girls and women can be referees too. Because I got to be honest, I referee a lot, usually in higher level competitions ECNL, mls Next and ADASL, which is our local Atlanta Adult Amateur League. It's not recreational, it's higher level of play, or UPSL, and there's really only a few women who do it. 90% of the time when those higher level games it is mostly men out there, and that's just a straight up observation from my experience. So when you get to state cup, we do want to try and find the best female referees in our state to be there. There's only, I think, maybe two regional female referees in the state of Georgia maybe three, to my knowledge, and they were all involved in state cup, whether the girls or the boys, these past two weekends or so, but for the fourth official position. They specifically chose myself and another veteran referee, who's also one of my assigners, to be the fourth official to just make sure that everything went smoothly out there with the coaches, with the benches, with the substitutes, so that the referees on the pitch, the assistant referees and the center referee can focus on doing their job.
Speaker 0:That's for sure, and I'm just going to answer this thing right here. I had someone ask this at least once a week. Someone asked me a question hey, are you going to be a regional referee someday? I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm not. Do I think I could pass that fitness test? Yes, have I failed twice before? Yes, but I definitely think. With the right training I wasn't far off last time I made. Think. With the right training I wasn't far off last time I made it through the sprints, passed that, made it through six and a half laps. I just needed to get to 10 of the sprint and walk. I think I could do it.
Speaker 0:But honestly, guys, I don't want to spend all of my Friday and Saturday nights trying to chase down these assignments at UPSL matches, to center those things and get paid. I don't know, it might be $110 or something like that, but I lose a weekend where I could be hanging out with my kids my two kids who haven't gone off to college yet, or during the summertime when my son is home. I'd like to hang out with them while I can before they're gone. If you're in your young twenties whatnot, or you don't have a family yet, maybe it's not a big deal for you to be gone every weekend chasing these matches to get the 25 centers. You need to be a regional. For me it's a big deal and I just don't want to do it.
Speaker 0:I also have to say I think my best and highest use is as a mentor and as a youth referee. I'm not going to be going to travel to the MLS next events, the ECNL events. I've got a career, I've got a life here in Georgia. So, no, I'm not chasing regional right now and I'm okay with that. That's totally fine. Just want to get the regional thing out of the way. My best use on the pitch is to be a mentor and an ally. How can I help not only the local game when I'm a referee, but my fellow officials be the best that they can be and be supportive of referees from diverse backgrounds, my female referee colleagues, whatnot. How can I support them? That's what I think my best and highest use is for US soccer.
Speaker 0:Okay, so, fourth official what do you do so we make sure pre-match that the uniforms are not conflicting and that we figure out what uniform we're wearing as referees? We can sometimes do if the referee wants us to go ahead and do the check-ins for all the players. Make sure everyone's properly rostered, make sure no one's wearing jewelry, that's right. Earrings need to come out. Can't believe we had to deal with this at semifinals of state cup, where someone's wearing a nose ring, one of those little ones hard to see the beginning of the match and we noticed it. Yeah, you got to come out. You can come back on when it's out and they're like no, I can't take it out please. Yeah, guess what? The next day they had it out for the finals. Of course they did Game balls. Making sure that we've got two balls at least for this tournament. The game balls were supplied by the home team. Yeah, it shouldn't be. I need two game balls. But some coaches are shocked by that.
Speaker 0:Managing substitutions, making sure everyone's wearing pennies and stuff on the bench, making sure the coaches are staying in their technical area, answering questions for the coaches. Be a sounding board sometimes for them. That's your job. And I actually did pick up two things during my matches. I did four matches where I was assigned as a fourth official two for semifinals and two for the finals to pick up and do better next time. Number one although the girls on the benches did have pennies, they didn't necessarily have them fully on over their jersey. They were like they had it around their neck, dangling off them, and it wasn't all the way pulled down off the jersey. So I need to make sure they're fully wearing those pennies from the time that this match starts to the time that they're walking up to the center to sub, in all the way up until that moment when they're about to come onto the pitch, so that we can keep track of who's on and who's off.
Speaker 0:I would also say in these matches there were specific substitution rules in terms of people could only sub. They could come out in the first half and they can come back into the second half, but they couldn't come in and out in the same half. So there was a certain amount of substitutions per half and you couldn't re-enter. So I had to keep track of the substitutions as well. So there's a bunch of things I can do there. There was also a moment I didn't see it, but one of the mentors saw it where some girls were playing, kicking a ball around as they were warming up, and I didn't see it. They were behind the bench. I wasn't looking at it. But two little things that I could pick up on to do better.
Speaker 0:But generally speaking, out there I'm supporting my center referee. Every now and then I'd help out with a throwing decision If it was something close to me, just give a little indication and direction. But I'm there to back them up. I'm there to answer questions for coaches. They didn't understand what happened or what a call was, and if I knew I would tell him. Oh yeah, I think what the ref saw there was that little pull from behind or, yes, there were offsides. They came back from an offside position or something of that nature. And if you don't know, I say, hey, coach, I don't know, referee was much closer to the play. But that's what I do. It's just trying to make sure that you keep everything cool over there so the referee can focus on what they need to do on the pitch.
Speaker 0:I did have one crazy experience as a fourth official for the state cup this couple of weekends ago. My center referee, as we were coming out of the referee room at halftime, said oh man, my calves are really tight. I hope I don't cramp up. And wouldn't you know, in this 75th minute of the match a two, one match, definitely competitive one goal game we're playing to get into the final the next day the center referee, she just it's a goal kick and she's jogging back to get in position for the goal kick to happen and all of a sudden she just David, she puts a hand up and goes down like I need you. I'm like, okay, so I go run out there. It's just, my legs have completely cramped up in C's. I yell for the trainer and she's like tears in her eyes. She's really upset, she's in a lot of pain. And then it's also not only you in a lot of pain, but you're also.
Speaker 0:You want to finish the match as the referee, but you've got all these 150, 200 spectators there, the players, the coaches and whatnot. It's not a moment in time. You want to go down. There's mentors there, there's fellow referees watching these games, but it's definitely not a situation you want to have happen. But I was like, hey, don't worry about a thing, I got it and so I immediately start as the trainers coming over, whatnot, and he's being taken care of, I just start my warmup. So I did really quick three minute warmup and to get ready for the match, I always keep my cards on me, I have my whistles. I'm like, all right, let's go. And we restarted the match and not two minutes into the match I had a head to head collision where someone had to go out for a possible head injury and one of the girls had. We literally had another like five minutes stoppage as I'm dealing with the head injury and the bloody nose. This game wound up going all the way to 90 plus 15 and it wound up staying a two to one win. But man, it was close. But I think that's one of the things as a fourth officials is making sure you're staying dialed in the whole time because you never know when you may need to jump on in.
Speaker 0:One last thing I'll just say about the tournament and at state cup. So some stateups or finals of major tournaments give referees a medal or a specific commemorative coin. For State Cup in Georgia this year they gave the winning teams the teams that won their respective divisions like this really gorgeous ring. And then the semifinals also got a ring, but it was a little bit different style, not as like big and bling and bold, whatnot, but all of the referees who worked the finals also got a ring. These things if you've seen like state championship rings in high school. That's what these things were, man. They were ridiculous oversized like gold, plated with big gems around state cup of Georgia on the side.
Speaker 0:I got to tell you we were giddy, like absolutely giddy. It was the coolest thing ever and honestly, I feel like man, where am I going to wear this? It's hilarious. Don't worry, I'll probably put it in a case, put it on a shelf someplace, but it was really awesome, really awesome. And yes, we work hard as refs and we deserve a little love too and I'm so glad they hooked us up with that. It was fantastic. But all great experience and so thrilled to have the honor to be on those crews, to be there as a participant, to be there as a referee, also to be there and help support and mentor those young ladies as well, and they did a great job. All right, real quick. I want to give a little quick word to some of our sponsors real fast.
Speaker 0:Your first one Refersports. I've talked about them in the past. I honestly I do not know why more people are not using them for refereeing management and assigning. I just literally kid you not. This morning got a note from one of my assigners that they're moving to another cockamamie homemade assigning platform that's associated with a league, another one, and I know, I already know that it's going to suck. I just know it because the league does not think like referees. They think about assigning matches like for their teams, but they don't think about all the things that we need to have as referees.
Speaker 0:And it doesn't have a mobile app. So it's only going to look good on desktop. It's going to be awful on my phone. Again, it's so frustrating. If you're developing a technology for referees these days, it should be mobile app native and the website should be mobile dynamic so it looks good on no matter what device you're going to be looking at it on. And again, things I want to know on my signing app I want to know what I'm getting paid. Who's my crew? Does it have their contact information easy to get? The rules of competition, make it easy to accept games, make it easy to put in availability and make it easy to navigate around. It's really those are all the things that make Refersports the world's fastest growing assigning solution. And it's a hundred percent free for assigners Like why not jump over and do it? It makes you easier to work with.
Speaker 0:I'm telling you, man, I've got a number of assigners in my world. I wish they would listen to my podcast, or at least listen to my advice and get Ruffer Sports now. They've been doing it for a number of years now. They cover over 25 sports, no matter what the competition. So if you're an assigner and you're doing soccer and you're doing hockey, you're doing baseball, it is the one place to go. It's everything you need in one place. Again, it's Refersports R-E-F-R that's how it's spelled Sports.
Speaker 0:If you're looking it up in the app store and web, check it out, all right. Additionally, guys, if you're a ref and you're not using the Ref6 Pro app, which I use every single week, you're missing out. It is by far the best timer in the game. I wouldn't talk about it and say it's the best if I didn't use it. I've been using it religiously for the last five or six years.
Speaker 0:I've used many different watches. I've tried the Spenso watch and I've tried another like specific referee watch, but it's not easy to read or easy to understand. The Ref6 Pro app is bold and clear and crisp. It makes it so easy to know exactly how much time's remaining, how much added time that I've added to the match, and be able to tell the players and the coaches what minute of the match we're in. Additionally, the post-match analysis like of my sprints, the distance covered, heat maps, even my heart rate throughout the match is so interesting. I love pushing myself to do the best and get the analytics from the app after my games. It really does tell a story. You can literally look at my heat map and know exactly what was happening in that game, or I get an idea of what type of game it was. Even when I'm like doing a sprint, like literally I think to myself oh man, that's going to be a great one. On the app after the match, it's going to be at the red zone. I love it. So, listen, if you use ref six or you're going to be a new subscriber, use my code, refsneedlove. Okay, just like those 12 letters there, refsneedlove, and you get 10% off monthly or annual subscriptions. There is nothing like it Again. Great app, great data and saving money in the process. You go All right, guys.
Speaker 0:The next section I want to talk about is the fact that some coaches are just rude, just going to say it straight up. Some coaches are rude and I don't know why or what they hope to accomplish. I'm being sincere, what's the point? I had a coach at a local tournament last month. Okay, this is not like ECNL or MLS next, or anything crazy high level like that. It's a local club and they had some teams come from out of state and in state to participate in this. And I'm not being derogatory, hey, it's not ECNL, but I'm just trying to give you an idea of the level set here. Not recreational, it's certainly not like high level, like extremely technical and highly competitive. It's somewhere in between and highly competitive. It's somewhere in between.
Speaker 0:But I get to this field to referee this match and I'm the air one and I go to introduce myself to the coaches and immediately this coach was being rude or just really rushing me off. But usually I go hey, I'm David, I'll be one of your rush. Today I was like yeah, okay, hey, coach, can I get two game balls, balls. And he rolls me over a ball that looked like it had been ripped up by a wolverine, I kid you, not patches hanging like. Hey, coach, I'm happy to blow up a ball. Would you mind just giving me another ball? And he's what. I've never had a referee ask me for a second ball. We should be playing with the balls. We want to play with it. And I was like coach, I just need a ball that is intact and not have pieces hanging off of it, if you don't mind and I listen, I say it with a smile. I'm like I'm always trying to attract bees with honey. I'm just like all about that. And he's like whatever. So eventually he gets another ball, gives it to me it was and I have a pump with me. I'll blow it up, no problem at all. So I'll get this coach.
Speaker 0:As opposed to being like encouraging and warm to his players, this is one of these coaches who's like yelling at him run here. Oh my gosh, why are you doing that? Why are you kicking back? I don't know. Like, just like complaining all the time to the players. And it was. This is very difficult to watch. To be very honest with you.
Speaker 0:And then I'd say, about 15 minutes into the match, his goalkeeper and listen, I totally understand, people lose track of where they are on the pitch. But the goalkeeper winds up catching a ball that was bouncing towards her and then continues to take that ball, and not just right on the edge of the penalty area like a foot outside, but literally past the penalty arc like a good two or three yards outside of the penalty area with the ball as she's trying to kick it away. And so I raised my flag on my air one and we called a direct free kick for a handling offense. It would be one thing if she's like and we're dealing with a 13 year old girl or something like that, but it's one thing if it's like you eight, you know nine, and if it's like a foot or two, no big deal. Hey, watch it next time.
Speaker 0:But this one was pretty bad. The other coach noticed it, the other players noticed it. I got to call that. Come on, it's a thing. So I raised my flag. I get the referee's attention because he was standing closer to midfield expecting and play and the coach just went irate like just absolutely lost his SHIT and he's that's bullshit. That's bullshit. Are you kidding me? What? Come on, just give her a warning. And I'm like coach, sorry, it was really far outside, I wish I could, but it is a handling offense and he's, that's bullshit. That's bullshit. And I and I just, coach, are engaging in public dissent and profanity. Please stop right now or there will be consequences.
Speaker 0:And whatever he stopped off, okay, so this kind of set off like a whole chain of events, because it was one thing. He's getting on his kids and his kids are losing this match, probably like three nil at this point. But then I'm now enemy number one. And so he kept like standing on the touchline in my way, as I'm trying to move, to get up and down the line as the ar1 and I as a coach. Hey, please, coach, can you please back up? And he's kidding me. And literally he'd be like standing like on the field, like a foot, as opposed to like in front of the bench, like in the technical area. I'm like coach, please, coach, can you please step back into your technical area for me? And then he'd take like a six inch step and I was like, oh, my gosh, dude. It was just. I didn't say that out loud, but I was starting getting so frustrated.
Speaker 0:And then, finally, I'd say we're 25 minutes into the first half here and there's what he believes is a handball committed by the other team on the other side of the field in front of the AR2 sideline, that I didn't see. I'm looking at my offside line on my side of the field and he's like that was a handball handball. And it's like a 16 year old center referee in the middle. But he didn't call it and I didn't see it. And he's like how did you not see that? I'm like coach, I'm sorry, I'm looking at the off-sign line. I honestly didn't see these. Are you kidding me? You could see that play with this handball. You can't see that. Are you kidding me? What Are you serious? You could see that. You can't see that. Coach, please stop, please stop enough. And he's like how can you do that? How can you see that? You can't see this. I was like, fine, forget it. And so I just called over the ref at the next stoppage of play and showed him a yellow card. I'm like coach, that's it, no more, we're done for the day.
Speaker 0:And so he just at this point he just sits on his bench to brood. He doesn't coach his team. He just sits there just moping through the match. I have no idea what he said to them at halftime. At second half, same thing. He just sits there on the bench and he's just like, moping around, doesn't say anything to me, doesn't say anything to his players. His team gets beat like eight or nine to nothing, whatnot. It was just crazy, crazy.
Speaker 0:Then, after the match, dude comes up to me 10, 15 minutes later and he comes up and he's like, hey, man, I just want to apologize. I'm like okay. And he's like, yeah, I used to be a high level player and I just get upset. I just get really passionate. I get upset out there. I'm just like, okay, coach, that's it, apology accepted. And I didn't say anything to him.
Speaker 0:But my gosh, someone needs to mentor these coaches sometimes and teach them how to be a coach. How do you encourage little 12 and 13 year old girls to play? What's the right way to talk with them, certainly, and what's the right example to set with them? But also, man, yelling at the referee ain't helping you win they helping your girls play better. It's not endearing you to them, because they don't like seeing people be treated like that. Certainly, it's not a good look man. So I don't think that guy's going to be coaching long.
Speaker 0:But I will tell you, it's not just at newer coaches or something nature, and I think this guy was probably in his low to mid twenties at state cup, same type of thing. I asked the coach hey, can I check in your players? And he's we'll let you, we'll tell you when we're ready for check-in. And I'm like okay, man, that was weird, it's, I'm just going to, you can stay right where you are, I just need the roster and we can do this. But no, got attitude right away. And then same thing asking for game balls rolls me a couple of game balls over that are completely unacceptable and I'm like coach, can I have a good game ball, an attack game ball, whatever it was? And it's again oh, kidding me, that's ridiculous. Like gosh. Then like even to asking them putting their stuff behind the bench. All of a sudden they take this attitude Again. I don't understand, I don't get it.
Speaker 0:Now, in this specific one at state cup, I think this coach might've just been nervous, or maybe he's had bad experiences with the refs in the past, because once the game got going he was actually really sweet to his players and we had no issues. He was nice to me. He had a question about something he asked in a respectful manner. I have no idea, but man, it is just such a bad look. It does not help anyone to be rude to the referees. The only thing that's going to happen out of that is you're going to get carded and you're really not going to be setting a good example for your players if you're blaming referees for stuff Because all of a sudden now everyone's a victim. There's no way we can win because we're playing against the other team and the referees. My gosh, just be kind, be encouraging, be a decent person, and that's a good way to go.
Speaker 0:So the next weekend was after the girls' stay cup, was the boys' stay cup and I probably could have been assigned to boys' stay cup. But my son, jacob, was home. He got home from college on that Friday and he needs money. He's a poor college kid. Yes, he has a job at college, but he needs more money. He's a poor college kid. I tried seeing if I can get him assigned to stay cup, but again, you got to be regional or above. Jacob just doesn't ref that much anymore. He's only reffing during the summertime with me and on these short little breaks and stuff. He's certainly not at the level that some of these other regional refs or national refs are or anything like that. So when I got like an idea he wasn't going to be able to get assigned, I was like, all right, I'll go ref someplace else. And I was able to go right across the street and we did four two matches on that Saturday and two matches on Sunday and had a wonderful time, honestly, getting to spend time with my son, much as I would have loved to been on the field for state cup and be around those other refs, cause, let me tell you, for the boys stick up there's many more regional and national referees here in the state of Georgia that are men. Those crews were unbelievable and, yes, there were a few women on those crews as well, and regional referees, and they're outrageous as well. So I would have loved to work with them.
Speaker 0:I will say one thing about the Boys State Cup. Just because you have great referees does not mean that matches will go smoothly. I actually went over to watch some of the State cup matches the finals after our games were done, across the street. At some other fields. They had three mass confrontations like full-on mass conference. The morning of finals they had to give out over seven red cards. They also had to send off a coach who aggressively ran onto the field to yell at the officials post-match.
Speaker 0:Even great referees can have difficult matches, that's right. Even great referees get yelled at by players, coaches and spectators. It doesn't mean they're bad refs. It just means that, for whatever reason, people disagree with the call. Maybe they saw it differently, maybe they just have no freaking clue what they're talking about. I listened to one angry dad scream incessantly. This is a U19 match, right. He should know what the laws of the game are by U19, right. And he's screaming about someone's throw in technique. It was a foul throw and it's like one of these Weston McKinney's where he'd wind up to the side but he was coming from behind and over the head and his feet were down on or behind the touchline. It was perfectly legal, but to this dad it was an abomination and this ref doesn't know what he's doing. Gosh, just remember that the next time you get down, just because someone yelled at you or was unhappy with your call does not mean it was a bad call. It is less a reflection on you and more a reflection on them.
Speaker 0:One last note about reffing with my son, jacob, for a while really got out of being a referee. I've mentioned on the podcast. I'm not going to go over it again. We had a couple of really bad experiences at some adult amateur matches towards the end of his or middle of his junior year of high school and he's like no, I don't need to stress anymore, I'm not going to ref. And we did a few games here and there. But he really wanted to move on and do something else. And by his senior year of high school he found a job working on a pizza truck making crazy cash, like tons of cash, honestly going to different events and stuff and bars, and they'd set up the truck outside and he was getting crazy cash. He was having a blast.
Speaker 0:And ever since that really bad experience that we had his junior year, he was like yeah, I'm never centering a game again, I really don't want to do anything competitive again and we'd only he'd only AR matches when we had some opportunities here and there or I really needed him for something and someone backed out and then the last end of senior high school is, yeah, I'm not going to get certified again but thankfully, over the summers after he's been at college he's regained a level of confidence and maturity and much more comfort being back on the pitch. And this summer in particular and just recently, he's now wanting to step back into the middle again to referee matches. And I have to tell you it is so unbelievably inspiring getting to see your child out there refereeing matches, someone who's making a decision to step into the middle, to hold that whistle, to know that they're going to have to make unpopular decisions, to know that they're going to have to be a leader out there in the pitch as needed, to know that they've got to be on top of their game and know the laws and the decisions and the right signals and everything and be able to communicate with everyone out there. It's so wonderful for me to be able to spend that time with him. But just to see the man he's become and know that if he can handle that, if you can be a center referee for a competitive match, whether it's girls or it's boys, you 15, you 16, you 17, those age groups, whatnot If you can do that stuff, you're going to be fine in life. I know he's got strength, he's got resilience, he's got charisma, he's got communication skills. Yes, he's an athlete, but it's all those mental things, man, that just tell me he is going to be successful in life and he's going to do well. I love that, but it hasn't always been easy. I love that. He went through a time where he struggled and he's overcome and he's pushed through. That is the kind of stuff that warms my heart as a dad and just gives me so much belief in his future to know that he's pushed through. That is the kind of stuff that warms my heart as a dad and just gives me so much belief in his future to know that he's going to be just successful in life. So, man, I tell you I would take spending time with my son and seeing him strong and grow on the pitch as a referee over state cup any day. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 0:All right Now for a letter from the mailbag. This is a really good one, really sweet one. I love it when people really take the time and thought about putting their letters together. And let me tell you, I read, as I said, I read every single message Every single person sends me, every single one. Sometimes it might take me a week or two, but I read every single one, whether I get it on TikTok, on Instagram, on refsneedlovetoo at gmailcom. If you send me something, I promise you I will read it and respond. All right, this one comes from Dan. He writes I've been listening to your podcast and watching your videos for a while now and I love the content and what you do. Apologies for the verbosity, but I wanted to share my very recent journey and express my gratitude for the inspiration you are.
Speaker 0:My youngest son has played soccer for years and we watched Premier League religiously together Over his last few seasons in rec. Often games didn't have refs. I volunteered once and was hooked. I absolutely loved doing it, to the point I would be pacing at games hoping a ref wouldn't show up so I can don the whistle. He is now in his first year in a competitive program. I knew the same opportunities would not be there, so I started thinking about getting certified but kept putting it off in part, thinking maybe 47 is too old to start with. And then one big tournament weekend led to a referee shortage and I got to step in again. I had even more fun, in large part because watching your videos helped me feel more confident on the pitch. There was a ref on the field next to ours and we chatted during half and at the end of our matches. He just said you gotta get your badge. So, inspired by you and him, I registered that night. I finished my on-field last weekend just in time so I can ref my first two games tomorrow in the last week of the season. I'm very excited and I look forward to the constant learning and really hope to be a steady positive influence for the players and for the younger referees in the community.
Speaker 0:Thank you for the inspiration, your positivity and your guidance. I'm not sure I would have taken the leap without you and that extra encouragement for their guy in yellow a few Saturdays ago. Please keep doing what you are doing as long as it feeds you. You are educating and inspiring many and I am grateful for it. I wish you all the best and I look forward to your continued content. I'll also be definitely ordering some scorecards to get ready for the next season.
Speaker 0:Thank you again and best wishes, dan, and I absolutely love that, dan. Thank you so much for that letter. It's fantastic. All right, guys. I hope you enjoyed today's pod. I really wanted to share those stories and observations from State Cup. Again, it may not have been perfect today, just because I didn't have it all scripted out the way I wanted to earlier at 6.30 this morning, but I hope you gained something out of today's podcast. Honestly speaking, I feel if you get one thing that helps you be a better referee, then I'm doing my job. I'm fulfilling my mission and my purpose with this podcast. Also, guys, please support. The Refs Need To store online. If you have not checked out the referee socks with the center referee and the assistant referee on it, you need to. They are awesome. I designed them for you. You will love them. Again, all the proceeds get poured back into making this channel a reality. Guys, I wish you all the best, a very happy holiday season and I hope your next match is red card free.