REFS NEED LOVE TOO
An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside.
REFS NEED LOVE TOO
Life Lessons and Pregame Checklists: Finding Joy On and Off the Pitch
Ever wonder how to stay passionate while juggling multiple demanding roles? This candid episode dives into the reality of balancing life as a referee, business professional, content creator, and parent during an especially hectic season.
David shares his journey through a particularly intense period—working full-time in sales and marketing for Hip Hues, running Refs Need Love Too, and preparing for his daughter's high school graduation while managing to referee challenging matches. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, he's discovered a powerful mindset shift that transforms exhaustion into fulfillment: consistently asking "Is what I'm doing getting me closer to my goal?"
The heart of the episode features a detailed walkthrough of David's newly launched referee cards with comprehensive pregame checklists printed on the back. This innovative tool provides referees with critical reminders about field inspection, coach interactions, substitution procedures, offside considerations, and foul management—all designed to boost confidence and crew cohesion during matches.
Particularly moving are the letters from the mailbag, including stories of young referees successfully implementing the new referee abuse guidelines and finding their voice on the pitch. These testimonials highlight how proper support systems can transform potentially career-ending negative experiences into powerful growth opportunities.
David also breaks down his recent experience officiating a challenging UPSL semi-professional match at age 50, complete with 12 cards, 5.7 miles of running, and valuable game management lessons. His account illustrates why pushing beyond comfort zones leads to greater satisfaction and skill development in officiating.
The episode closes with a poignant reminder about family priorities—with all three of his children home for potentially the last summer together, David emphasizes the importance of seizing these precious moments despite busy schedules.
Visit the Refs Need Love Too store to check out the new referee cards and other products designed to make your officiating journey more successful and enjoyable. Use code "refsneedlovetoo" for special discounts on partner products from Umpiro and Ref6.
Hello and welcome to the Refs Need Love 2 podcast, a show that gets real, raw and behind the scenes of one of the hardest jobs on the pitch the referee I am your host, david Gerson, a grassroots referee, a referee, mentor, my gosh a dad, a husband. I'm a sales and marketing guy. I do whatever I got to do man out there to make it happen for myself and my family and those that I love, and I'm so glad that you're here joining me on the podcast today. Today, guys, we're going to do some life lessons from the pitch. I had a really challenging match last week that we're going to talk about and break down. I have just launched some brand new red and yellow cards that have all of my pregame on the back and we're going to step through that. We're going to do some letters from the mailbag and we'll see what else comes up, okay, so, first and foremost, life is crazy right now. So, as I have a full-time job, so I run sales and marketing for a small company called Hippews and, by the way, I love it. It is so cool and so challenging to work for a company that only has nine employees, right, so I just left the company previous this last year that had 50,000 employees and was like $11 billion in sales and owned by private equity. That's an experience and this is I literally work for the owner of the company and I'm building entire websites from scratch and email campaigns and social media and Google ads and making sales calls, cold calls, warm calls, referrals, you name it and that is my full-time job. So, again, I wake up early in the morning, try and work out three, about three, four days a week right now, including game days on the weekend, so I'm trying to stay fit. And then I eat my breakfast and I start working all day and then I finish at six o'clock at night and then I hopefully have a dinner with my family, if everyone's available, and then I get back to my second job, which is roughly love too. So whether it's making videos or shipping products or you name it, that's my thing and I feel like I'm working like 90 hours a week, a hundred hours a week right now, because it doesn't end on the weekends. Of course, my second job is like all the time, um, but I'm loving life. But on top of that, right now we've got some really exciting things in our life. Right now, my daughter is actually or just graduated from high school two nights ago, and so we're gearing up for the big graduation party. Okay, that's a thing, for my son graduated from high school a couple years ago.
Speaker 1:Two years ago, yeah, there was a lot of work getting ready for the party, but it's nothing like this. Like for this party. I had to build a kissing booth from scratch for our dog, zoe, who's like this little. She's 12 inches tall, whatnot, but she's very kissy, very kissy, like she wants to give you a thousand kisses. So we have a kissing booth that I have built by hand, right, and I'm not an engineer, I'm not a carpenter, but I know how to put wood together and cut wood and screw things together and paint things, and so I did that. I built this very overly engineered kissing booth. That's going to be adorable for the party, very excited about that.
Speaker 1:I had to redo the cornhole. So I built my own cornhole set a number of years ago, but it was kind of crappy. I had to repaint, re-lacquer that and get that all ready to go. The deck was looking beat up, so I had to sand and repaint the entire back deck and all the railings and take care of the front deck, cause that was looking a little not its best.
Speaker 1:Whatnot? A lot of yard work. It has just been crazy. So, like the last week and a half, it has been okay. We're crazy hard at the full-time job. Then, as soon as that's done six o'clock I work from home, so I don't have a crazy commute, I change clothes and I start working outside or I work on the wood projects and just it's been nonstop, like nonstop. And yesterday was like literally from eight in the morning to about 6 PM at night, just like nonstop, cause it was nice weather and I knew I can get the painting done. But oh my gosh, my body is feeling it right now. So just crazy.
Speaker 1:But wonderful, wonderful to have all three of my kids home right now. This is probably the last summer ever that all three of my kids are going to be home for a summer. So trying to like take every moment. If I hear them in the kitchen, I'm like running to the kitchen hey, what's going on, how you doing, and get a hug in, because these times are few, they are I am. This is the last summer I'll have my son home. He starts a co-op next summer, my eldest son, my 20 year old, so he'll be co-oping next summer in South Carolina. He won't be here. So it is so precious these moments that we have and even though I might be working like crazy hard right now to build this new company that I've joined, I love that it's small and I can see the impact of my work and even though I'm like pushing my body to the brink, just like nonstop work right now, it is for wonderful things.
Speaker 1:I think there are some people who have the unfortunate scenario where they're working a lot, maybe working two or three jobs, and they hate their jobs and, as a result, they're really depressed and they hate life. I am working like two, three jobs and I am loving life. Right now I feel more passionate, more present than anyone possibly could. I feel great. I feel really great. I feel great about the Ref Seed Love 2 business. That's been really wild and fun. New scorecards I just launched. The response has been fantastic on those. We're going to talk about those in a little bit. But everything's nice. I'm having all sorts of new opportunities come my way because of the success of the channel and then again the full-time business that's growing and going in a good direction and my family's doing well Again. They're healthy, they're happy, they've got bright futures ahead of them. I think this is a.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of reasons to be thankful, a lot of reasons to be thankful and just happy about what's going on in my life, and so I wish the same for you, wherever you are and whatever you do. If you're not happy with where you are, write out a plan and figure out where you do want to be and then start going there. I always, constantly, am telling myself remember doing something. If I'm sitting scrolling on social media or something like that, I always remind myself is this getting me closer to the goal? If this, what I'm doing right now, is not getting me closer to my goal, then I need to go do something else. I need to stop what I'm doing, Whether it's personal health and wellbeing, just read a book or read a business book to help me grow.
Speaker 1:Whether it's go find a family member and go spend some time with them. Whether it's go work out, go take a walk, go do something good for me. That's always what I'm thinking about. If a walk, go do something good for me. That's always what I'm thinking about. If it's during the work day, I'm like okay. Is what I'm doing getting me closer to the goal? Is it growing the business to the number that we need to do? Is there something that's a higher priority I need to get done? Is it getting me closer to the goal? So, whether it's my personal health or my professional success, that's what I'm thinking about all the time, and the more and more that I'm working towards my personal professional goals, you know, the happier I am. So I wish for you success, I wish for you happiness, I wish for you love and personal health. It's coming up in three weeks. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. There's still time.
Speaker 1:If you go onto the Wrestling You'd Love To store, you can order anything on there and it's going to be to you within three weeks. If you order within the next day or two, okay, you start getting a week out. You can forget about any merchandise like shirts or quarter zips or sweatshirts or something like that. Those things take two weeks easy. It takes four or five days to be made and then a week or so to ship. So forget about that if you're two weeks out. But for all the merchandise, okay. Again. We're talking about the scorecards, the brand new red and yellow cards or the pregame checklist we'll talk about in a bit. Coins, bumper stickers, stuff like that, car magnets, things of that nature.
Speaker 1:Flags, man, I tell you I got amazing high quality flags that are like literally 30, 40% less cost than what you could buy them anywhere else. Okay, they are comparable to the B and D flags, if B and D and honestly I think mine are actually a little better. I think the grip is actually a little better and not as sticky. So, check it out, hook yourself up. If not for you, someone else. If you've got family members who are always wondering what do I get for dad, send them a link to my website. Tell him to go buy something this week and you will be very happy with the quality. And also, supporting the refs need love to show, which is great. Also, hey man, treat yourself.
Speaker 1:If you have not purchased the Umpiro shoes yet the referee shoes specifically made for soccer referees do it. Umpiro, u-m-p-i-r-o. Okay, umpiro, again, you're supporting a referee who's made these shoes for you and they're fantastic. Last week I was doing a match slip, sliding all over the place for the players. I was fine. I had no issue on the pitch. None, did not feel like I was going to slip one time and I saw so many people lose their footing, no matter how much I was doing out there, so I definitely encourage you to check it out, to definitely check out the Umpiro shoes.
Speaker 1:Additionally, ref6, okay, if you haven't had the Ref6 app, this is a great time. Father's Day gift Get yourself an annual subscription and use my code. When you're buying Ampere, use my code and for Ref6, use my code. Refs need love too. All one word, okay. Just type it in and I think it's 20% off for Ref6 and I think it's 10% off for the Imperial shoes. So, treat wholesale and get yourself some. A new app that's fantastic for referees, and those new shoes. You deserve it. I am giving you permission to treat yourself. That'd be fantastic. All right, guys. Now quick letters from the mailbag. Okay, first off, this is from a youth referee. He writes hey, I just wanted to thank you for giving me confidence in my voice as a youth ref, both through hey, I just wanted to thank you for giving me confidence in my voice as a youth ref, both through your videos and your work on the new ref abuse guidelines.
Speaker 1:I submitted a report for the lowest level of verbal abuse according to the policy and I have a discipline hearing tomorrow night to go over it with the state disciplinary committee. Coach exclaimed publicly and loudly Do you need new prescription glasses? Maybe then you can call it right Among other, and that was a quote do you need new prescription glasses? Maybe then you can call it right, among other, and that was a quote, among other lesser things, to my AR, also a youth who wears glasses. I recognize this was a literal example.
Speaker 1:Us soccer provided, but only gave a yellow card instead of a red card during the match. I have a feeling that they're going to ask me why I didn't go red and my reason was game management. Five minutes earlier, I awarded a downgraded dog show yellow to the opposing team with a penalty kick. Also, it was the first time I was having to talk to the coach. I'm a little worried that the charges might get dismissed, but I don't know. But all in all, thank you, keep it up. And that was the end of his message and we went back a couple times. He went to the disciplinary committee and they did uphold the charge and I just want this to be a great reminder for everyone Even if you don't show a red card in the match.
Speaker 1:It does not mean that you don't submit a red card report. Okay, a supplemental report If you believe that a red card offense did occur, for verbal abuse during the match or physically or whatever. But certainly if there's something that needs a card, you still write up the report. Okay, it needs to be dealt with. I know a lot of youth referees feel really intimidated during the match. A lot of adult referees feel really intimidated during the match and they don't have the confidence to go ahead and show that card. Obviously, there's a massive power imbalance. It's scary. Parents might be yelling, coach might be yelling. You're a kid, you're a teenager out there, my gosh, it is a very intimidating situation. But you still write the report because that behavior must be addressed.
Speaker 1:Okay, that is belittling, it is insulting. They're attacking the referee's credibility right there, publicly, in front of everyone sitting around the pitch. Okay, okay, acceptable, especially to a minor, which, by the way, the penalties for verbal abuse towards a minor are tripled under the new referee abuse policy. Let me tell you that coach will never do it again. But if you don't write the report, nothing will change and what you permit is what you promote, and it only gets worse. So thrilled that the content that we created myself and my partner from Fuel BMC, the agency that I work with, john Petrie and Carrie Seitz from US Soccer, our VP of referees that we were able to put together this policy and all the materials and make it so that people can understand and remember it and be able to apply it. Very proud of that and very proud of this young referee who followed through with the report and that coach has since been suspended. So great, I got one more here.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is from a dad about his young referee daughter. He writes I thought you'd like a feel good story. My daughter came to you last year after a really rough match. Early in her reffing career. She was verbally abused by a coach in a U19 match. She stuck with it and started season two at a tournament. This weekend, after a U10 match, she was offered a donut by one of the teams. A mom from the other team approached her and complimented her on how well she called the game. She was not afraid to call fouls when needed, warned players about the elbows and pushing. She also allowed redos to both teams for bad throw-ins and a couple of double-touch goal kicks. But she also explained what the correct call should be. She had lots of fun and can't wait for next weekend. Thank you for your encouragement last year. I think it really helped her get over a bad experience that could have ended her refereeing career before it even started. Sincerely Corey Day.
Speaker 1:So that was from a dad about his daughter referee and I'm getting a little verklempt and about to cry. It's just so emotional about this stuff. I gotta just feel so much for so many referees, especially youth referees, who feel they have no one to talk to, or adult referees that have no one to talk to. Listen, I'm here for you. If you ever reach out to me, just know I'm going to read your message. I promise you I will and I'll respond. It may take me two weeks, three weeks a month.
Speaker 1:Right now I am almost three and a half weeks behind on my Instagram messages, my DMs. Right now, I just get so many every single day and, as I've told you my work schedule, I have a very limited amount of time to read these things. I go through them as I'm eating breakfast, maybe right before bed. I start to bang out three or four responses because sometimes I have to watch videos. It takes me like 10 minutes, sometimes per video.
Speaker 1:But, man, if you need me, reach out. I'm happy to be a sounding board to encourage you. I'll tell you. It just happened for me last weekend with my son's girlfriend was giving me some encouragement before a match. Listen, I'm here for you. You are not alone. You are not alone, okay, stay strong, stay positive, look forward, learn something from every match you know, set the appropriate level of expectations and just do your best and have fun. So thrilled about this young lady, corey, you are raising a phenomenal young woman. Congratulations to you, sir, this experience of going through that adversity and pushing through and having a positive experience on the other side of this is a great lesson for life. Okay, life is not easy, life is hard, life is challenging man, but it's not what happens to him, to us in life, that matters, it's how we respond to it. Okay, adapt and overcome, push through those challenges, whatnot? And if you keep on going, man, that is the definition between someone who's going to be struggling in life and someone who's going to be successful. Okay, fantastic sir. Thank you so much. All right, real quick guys.
Speaker 1:Now I am going to go over the brand new pregame checklist. Okay, so about eight months ago. Let's go back even further, okay. So I'd say a year and a half ago, I got to work on a crew with Megan Gosh I'm going to draw a blank on her last name, she's going to kill me on this one but one of my fellow Georgia referees and she's absolutely fantastic, love her. So impressed by her, and I tell you, the impressed by her was before we even stepped on the pitch. Okay, so in pregame, okay, this is state cup, and she busts out her laminated cards that have her pregame bullet points all listed out and I'm like, well, hey, now, now this is a whole different level. I've been through some referees who have great pregames, whatnot, but it always feels out what are they remembering?
Speaker 1:On the day, this young woman, okay, had her pregame laminated on cards and I was like yo, I need me some of that, and so I took pictures of them and I listened to them and I then I had her on my podcast and she walked through a lot of the things on there and I couldn't take everything that she had, and also I had my own things as well, and so the way I wanted to do it, I was like thinking for a long time. Okay, well, am I going to create my own pregame cards? And then I was like I don't think people are going to pay extra money just for pregame cards. What if I put my checklist on my red and yellow card? So I've got my red and yellow cards that I already had in my store and then I'm like man, on the back of them I'm going to add the pregame checklist. People sometimes keep their scores on their cards. They use tape and put them on the cards, whatnot? I was like man, I'm going to do that because now it still works as a red and yellow card. But now you got your pregame here and then I really struggled to think about all of the things I would want to put on there.
Speaker 1:But how much could I fit on the card where it's still legible? Okay, because I'm 50 and my contact lenses when I ref are great for distance. But man make it really hard for me to see up close and I know a lot of people deal with the same challenge that I do as you age and there's a lot of more mature referees out there let's just call it like it is who may struggle with seeing very small print. So it was a challenge. And I'm telling you, man, I stood on this for six months and then when I had to design the card, I had to really think about how I wanted it structured, and that took about another let's say, two or three months, and then I have finally bit the bullet and placed the order.
Speaker 1:And then you're always worried Is someone even going to order this now? Are they going to hate it? I literally got an email this morning like this morning and someone's like hey, I've got a tournament in two weeks. I want to order 40 sets of the card for the referees. I love them. I'm like great. So people like so. That feels really good when you hear that and it validates your instincts.
Speaker 1:But I'm going to walk through the pregame checklist right now because I think it's really good to hear someone else go through. I've got bullet points here and a couple of words after each one. So let's talk. Okay, first one on there pregame checklist Okay, inspect field goals, nets, flags, like that should be basics, but a lot of people still don't do it. That's right. You need to go walk the field and make sure that there's no massive holes on the field, okay, so, going as you're doing your little warmup, maybe up and down the middle of the field and just check, make sure that the penalty spot is okay and that the goals are there's nothing really dangerous for people to step into around the goal area. And then you walk around the circumference in the field and you check the flags make sure the corner flags are properly positioned, because oftentimes they're not.
Speaker 1:The nets, make sure there's no massive holes in the nets and the goals, that they're lined up correctly on the goal line and that there's no massive again, no holes and they're in the right position. That's really important, oh, and they're secured. So there's weights or there's some type of anchor that's holding the goals down. That is the basics. Like I'm amazed how many people don't do that pre-match. And man, you're talking about very serious dangerous consequences if you don't make sure that those nets are properly secured on the pitch. So do that.
Speaker 1:And then also, if there's a big hole in the net and you don't know that ahead of the match, oh my gosh, that could be a key match incident right there. So you do that as soon as you get to the field, pretty much so that you can give the home team or the field administrator time to address those things before the match begins, okay. So you don't want to be doing that right as the match begins, because then everyone's standing on the pitch ready to go and you're like, oh, I just found a massive hole in the net. Now we got to wait 15 minutes for someone to be able to fix it. That's not good. So do that first. That's why it's first on my checklist. Second thing greet coaches and team check-in. Okay, again, we talk all the time on this podcast about building rapport and building bridges of communication. It's great.
Speaker 1:So when you get there, I usually drop down my bag and even if I know a one of the coaches, the team, I probably start with the other team first and I go meet that coach. Hey coach, I'm Gerson, I'm going to be your ref for today. Whatever it might be, how's the season going Well? How you doing All that type of stuff? Just to have a little bit of conversation, so that when we step on the pitch and we start refereeing, our first conversation isn't some like heated conversation we already know each other's names, potentially, and there's ability to have actual conversation, as opposed to it being a one-way street of someone yelling at me and not feeling connected to me.
Speaker 1:But I always go to the away team first if I don't know them, so that I don't show favoritism. I step over to the home team and I'm like, hey, what's going on? Oh, how you doing, how's the wife? You don't want to do that because then it looks like you're a homer, if you will, and you're showing favoritism towards the home team. Very important, I always go to the away team first If I don't know them, if I don't know why they're coached, it doesn't matter who I go up to. But again, really important to do that. The next thing team check-in. Again, my check-in is hey, you know, again, I'm David, I'll be your coach. I'm not your coach, I'll be your ref today. You know. Out there, guys, I don't mind.
Speaker 1:If you ask me a question, I'm a very verbal referee. You're going to hear me when I make a call and I think it requires that I'm going to explain what the call is, whether it was for a poll or me a question. If I got time, I'm going to answer for you If it's delivered in the right tone. If you're yelling at me, trust me, we're not having a conversation and it could be cause for a card for dissent. But calmly ask me a question. No problem, I got all the time in the world for you. Definitely we're not going to argue a call, we're going to play to the whistle. But if you've got a question, ask, and that's literally my entire pregame, that's it. Otherwise, I just go check the kids in Next one managing players and coaches, and so this is what I'm going over with my crew here Again, I encourage my assistant referees to communicate as needed.
Speaker 1:Okay, so if they feel like maybe someone is upset about something that could be something to, maybe they're about to retaliate, communicate. Hey, it's okay, it's okay. It's okay, I saw it. Okay, take it easy, buddy. Yeah, you've really your system referee and you're closer to a great communicate. That's wonderful.
Speaker 1:I don't want them coaching though. I don't want them saying to players stop pulling, or something like that, because that might be seen as coaching and maybe the coach of the team wants them to foul in that scenario. So you don't want to be saying anything that might be deemed coaching player. That's really important, especially if we're dealing with older age groups. You don't know how to tell them how to do a throw in. They should know how to do a throw in Again if they're 10 years old or 12 years old, keep your feet down. That makes a lot of sense At 17,. They need to know that, so don't coach them. That's just what I would expect. So it says communicate as needed on the card.
Speaker 1:The second one give warning if required. Okay, so I always empower. And this next bullet point says any issues, I've got your back. So I always encourage my assistant referees that when we're out there, abuse towards any of us is abuse on all of us, whatnot? Okay. So if someone is yelling things towards the center referee, or they're yelling things towards you as a referee, or they're dissenting towards you as the assistant referee, I always encourage you. Hey, ar, you're more than welcome to give the first warning. Okay, meaning, coach or the parent, please stop. You're engaged in public dissent. Okay, coach, please stop. You're engaged in persistent dissent, whatever it might be, or there will be consequences. So I always encourage him give a warning if you feel comfortable doing it.
Speaker 1:Because let me tell you, if you call me over and you tell me that you know this person needs a card, I'm just showing a card every time. I'm not questioning you, I'm not doubting you. Hey, you tell me that guy needs a card Great, I trust you. Card done, yellow done. Hey, you tell me that guy needs a card? Great, I trust you. Card Done, yellow Done. Or if it's a parent, I go over and grab the coach. Hey, coach, that parent over there, you need to go have a conversation with them. Or that parent over there, they need to be dismissed. But I want my assistant referees to feel comfortable to have the first conversation, to be able to give a warning.
Speaker 1:Next bullet point substitutions. I always tell the AR2, okay, mirror the flag signals from the AR1 so that I can see it if I'm looking the other direction. Or AR1, all substitutes need to be wearing pennies, okay, so some other color aside from their game jersey, when they're on the bench or they're warming up on the sideline. And then I always encourage people hold the subs off until the player they're subbing for is completely off the field. You would think, oh, that's common sense. But I got to tell you a lot of people don't do it, it's a big deal. I don't want to be counting every single time I'm about to kick back off after a sub. Hold them off and I'll call them on as soon as the other player is off the field. Hold them, help me out there.
Speaker 1:The next one offside First bullet point there under offside. Be patient, wait for Okay. That is something you need to remind people, especially younger referees. Okay, maybe there's two people running towards a ball and one of them was onside and one of them was onside when the ball was played and one of them was in an offside position when the ball was played by a teammate. Be patient, wait to see who gets involved. Also, as the age groups go up, people are pretty intelligent. They might start running towards the ball and then stop and then let someone else come play that ball because they knew they were in an offside position. Wait for involvement. It's really important to be patient on that, unless we have a one-on-one situation with the goalkeeper and you know that we've got a potential collision and that person is running towards that ball and potentially the goalkeeper. Get that flag up so I can blow the whistle and let's try and avert a potential dangerous impact there.
Speaker 1:The next one on offside be confident on call. If you think you've got an offside situation, raise that flag and keep it up. Don't raise the flag and put it down. Okay, I'll tell you to put it down If, let's say, the goalkeeper collects the ball, okay, and it didn't wind up being an offside offense. Okay, it was going to be an offside offense, but the goalkeeper collected it.
Speaker 1:I'd much rather have that goalkeeper with the ball in their hands and they can punt it or throw it up the field or something of nature, as opposed to having to restart with a ball on the ground for an indirect kick. It's an advantage to the defending team, the goalkeeper. So if I see that they've collected it, I'll say so. I can communicate to the goalkeeper. Play on keeper. No offside offense, you've got the ball in hand. Because I don't want them to carry the ball outside of the penalty area and then put the ball down. They've created a handball if we're not calling it. So it just creates a whole issue there. So if I keep your flag up and I'll tell you to put it down if need be, but if you're going to call it, be confident in that.
Speaker 1:The next one there. Deflection versus deliberate. Now, I made a mistake on this last week myself, but if there is a deliberate play from the defender and an attacker is in an offside position, it is my responsibility as the referee to let you know that it was played by the defender. You're looking at the second to last opponent. Okay, that's not your job to worry if it was played by the defense in that scenario, that's my job. You put your flag up and I will scream defender, defender, play on, or whatever it might be. So again, if it's a deliberate play by the defending team I'm sorry, yes, by the defending team, it's my job to shout that out. You just put that flag up and then I'll tell you to put the flag down as need be.
Speaker 1:All right, fouls is the next one on the list, the first bullet point under fouls. Call clear fouls in your quadrant. So I always tell people on your touchline and on your goal line at your quarter of the field okay, call fouls. If you got it, call it. I trust you. Whatever it is, whether you got a trip, you got a handball offense, if it is close to you and you know you feel you've got a really good look at it and I haven't called it, call it. Great, obviously, fouls coming out. I want you to be quicker, okay, if someone's trying to play out of the corner and they're getting like elbowed in the back or pulled or held or something like that, and you're right there. Call it Okay. You're going to be closer to the play than I am. That's great.
Speaker 1:Now, fouls coming in Okay. Attacking team fouls that would benefit the attacking team. Be patient. Be patient because we may have a situation of advantage. So, even though it was a foul, let's wait a couple seconds and see if an advantage takes place. So, be patient on fouls coming in. And also, there again, your foul. The bar raises, I think the closer you get to a penalty kick situation in the penalty area. Think about it. Listen, see where I am. Am I close to the play? Do I have a good look of it? Have I verbalized oh, ball Clean, play on. If not, okay. And you see a foul, by all means call the foul. That's great.
Speaker 1:Next one is, I'd said, be patient on fouls with advantage. And then this is really important for my assistant referees Watch for fouls behind the play. Watch for fouls behind the play. So, as play switches up, sometimes a player who's lost the ball or maybe felt that there should have been a foul, might be upset and they try and take it out on the other player, the opposing player, and there's something that happens behind the play I don't see, look for, look for it. Okay, be thinking about it and if you see it, make me aware. Get your flag up, ar, on the other side of the field, mirror that flag. I will. Again, I'm going to back you up. I'm going to trust you every single time. But please look for it. Maybe even use your voice. If you see something about to happen, tell them hey, stop that, settle down, whatever it might be, and then let me know what the next stop is to play, so I can have a conversation with those two as well. But look for fouls behind the play.
Speaker 1:Last one on the yellow card here on my cards is follow play down to the goal line. I am a magnet for goal line decision, straight up magnet for goal line decision. Okay, if there's activity down by the goal line, get on your horse and get down to the goal line. The last thing I want to see is kind of a mess in front of the goal. There's a couple of people around it and it's close to a goal no goal situation. And I look over him and I see my assistant referee 10 yards away from the goal line, the touchline. That is infuriating. Please, you are the only person on the pitch who will have a credible position to make that goal. If there's activity down there, get down. Obviously, if it's a long ball kick and everyone knows the ball's going past the goal line, it's going to be a corner kick or a goal kick, whatnot. You don't need to run all the way down to the goal line to signal goal kick or corner kick. But if there's activity down there, please get down there so you can be in a credible position. All right.
Speaker 1:Now, moving on to the red card bullet points here. Not that these are red card offenses, but I just only have so much space on each card. Okay, so this one is for a throw in, a throw in first thing. I contact so we got a throw in situation. You need to be looking as the as the referee. I'm looking to you as the assistant referee, especially if it's on your touchline, your goal line. Okay, I'm looking to you to make the call. You're in a better position than I am. Obviously, if it's extremely obvious and it's not in your, it's on the complete other side of the field from you, I'm going to go ahead and lead. You just mirror me, okay. That's all I need you to do. But if it's in your quadrant. Okay, I'm always looking to you and we're making eye contact and then I'm asking for the next bullet point is subtle signal by your side. So put the flag in the hand that you are expecting to go up with, and then we will go up together. So we'll make eye contact and I'll put my hand in that that down position and then we will go up together.
Speaker 1:I always want us to be in alignment on our throw in calls, our goal kicks and our corner kicks. Why is it so important? We talked about throwing really not a big deal because it shows that we are connected, that we are a credible crew. That is so important out there. So important out there is that we look like one team. So please, let's go up together, especially on those goal kicks and corner kicks. And then if there is a situation where I've got a different call okay, and I see which direction you're going, because maybe there's a deflection that I'd seen I will say on me deflection. I saw a deflection. We're going yellow or we're going blue, whatever it might be, but I'm going to take the responsibility for that. Okay, it's going to be verbalized as to what I saw and why I'm making that call. So that's really important there.
Speaker 1:The next one, eye contact. Okay, so in the match I'm constantly at every stoppage of play looking towards my assistant referees and I'm just trying to give a look. Do I have a sub situation? Do they have some information they need to tell me about descent? Do they have a foul they need to make me aware of? Is there an injury on the pitch that I don't see you name it? But I'm always making eye contact and I'm giving a little bit of a thumbs up and I'm looking for a little bit of a thumbs up or a nod back that all is good.
Speaker 1:Okay, on serious foul situations, I may look over to my assistant referee and see if they've got information for me. If they think it's a yellow card, I'm asking them to tap the badge. Give me a little double tap on the badge, just again, very subtle. I'm not looking for you to yell yellow card because maybe I've got a red card or maybe I don't have a card, whatever it might be, but I want an indication. So I just want them to take their free hand and I want them to tap their chest right above the badge that tells me they're saying yellow card. They think it's a red card. I want them to go back pocket. Just give a little tap subtly to the back pocket. Very important that it's subtle. Okay, if I need more information than that, I'm going to come over and have a conversation so I could see exactly what they see. But I'm just looking for those subtle signals right there that we can be, if needed, in alignment on that or I get the information that I need for you.
Speaker 1:If it's a penalty kick and I call a penalty kick, okay, run to the area. Don't stand there waiting for me to explain why I think it's a penalty kick. If I call a penalty kick, you run to the spot. You know, right on that edge of the six on the goal line. I'm sorry, the goal area on the goal line Got to use correct language here. Just run on it.
Speaker 1:Okay, your job on a penalty kick, mr AR or Mrs AR or Miss AR, is to specifically look for encroachment. Okay, at least one foot on the goal line when the ball is being struck. If it is clear and obvious that both feet are in front of the goal line when the ball is struck for me, I want you to stay standing right there and do not move. Okay, that's the signal I'm looking for. Stay standing right there. You don't need to put a flag up, just stand still. If you're standing still, I look over and you're not moving, that tells me I've got an issue. That puts me in a situation where I can make a call. Okay, if it's not clear and obvious and you're not sure maybe it was a millimeter off of the goal line Don't call it. Please, just don't call it. All, right.
Speaker 1:The last one there is record all goals and cards. Now, if you've got a fourth official on the match and they're recording everything, okay, you're absolved from this. But 99% of the matches that I do not have a fourth official and so I tell everyone record all goals and cards, both assistant referees, because there have been times where I finished the match and I'm like, all right, we got four, one, and they're like three, two, and I'm like, oh, so it's just nice that we have everyone recording it. Write down the numbers, I'll yell out who scored or, if it is the yellow card, I'll tell you what number. I may hold up my hands just to give you the signal, but record it. And the last thing on the second card here, the red card here is dog. So considerations I think it's always a good thing to remember these things. Some people have a hard time remembering the distance, the goal, general direction of play, location, number of defenders and likelihood of control. So I added that to the cards as well. So I'm hoping for you guys that you find that helpful. Again, they're available on my store right now as a standalone red and yellow card set or in the pro card package. Um, but I think they are really helpful. All right, guys.
Speaker 1:Last thing here that I'm going to go over, uh, before I wrap this podcast up, is my match last week. So I did a UPSL match. For those who do not know, okay, so that is like United professional soccer league. It's like semi-professional adult competitive league. It's a national league here in the United States. It is like the fourth tier of American soccer, if you will, pretty universally across the country. Again, we've got our MLS, we've got our USL championship. There's USL one and USL two, so maybe it's the fifth tier and sometimes it could be. Upsl in some regions might be a higher level than the USL two, similar in that way.
Speaker 1:But what we're dealing with is a competitive league 11v11, full field, and these are people who have played in college. They're playing in college. They do it over the summertime as well. There are some people who have played, maybe professionally, in other countries, whatnot, but they're just not in that professional team type of way. So we call this semi-pro, if you will. There are a couple people who are getting paid to play it, but not many of them, okay.
Speaker 1:So I'll just set the scene like that. These games can be difficult, okay. So it's not a highly professional environment where people are worried about getting fired or losing a job, but it's a competitive environment. So that means that the games can be intense, that they can be fast, that can be physical, that's without a doubt. It is very different from youth. Okay. If you're dealing with U19, u17, u15, it is completely different. Okay, it is fast. It is hard to manage, okay. So just from an emotional standpoint, from a mental standpoint, it is challenging and you're going to have to work out there as a referee, both physically and mentally and verbally and all that kind of stuff, and your in-game man management is critical and there is a reason why you got to do 25 matches at the adult level, like this level, to be able to even qualify to move to regional, because if you can handle this, you can pretty much handle almost any environment they're going to put you in.
Speaker 1:I don't do many UPSL matches and I've done I don't know probably like 10 as an assistant referee and 80 ASL, which is an adult amateur league here in Atlanta. That's also a competitive league too. It's not recreational, but I don't choose these matches often. But for whatever reason, the assigner reached out to me and asked me if I wanted to have the whistle for this one. I'm like, yeah, let's do it. And so I took it and I was nervous going into this. I got to tell you all week leading up, as I told you guys, I've been extremely busy so I hadn't been working out my normal schedule. I certainly hadn't been running like my normal schedule. So I didn't feel physically great. And then mentally it was just I don't know, I just wasn't in the right space.
Speaker 1:And so we're going to the match and I have my son's girlfriend, sydney, who's wonderful, love this young lady, so glad that she is with my son. They've been together for three and a half years and, yeah, consider her a part of the fam. Let me tell you she's fantastic, but she has a passion for photography and she was going to do some video and images for this match. And so we were writing to the game because my son was working his summer job waiting tables for a brunch show. So we're on the way to this match, the 4 pm kickoff, and we're heading there, just the two of us. And I was telling her.
Speaker 1:I was like said I'm a little nervous about this game, just not feeling right a little, I don't know, I've just got a little anxiety going into this. And, kid you not, she says to me you know, you're not nervous, you're just excited. I swear, how many freaking times have I used that line, like to encourage other people? It's all. I just take that energy and channel it into excitement. You're not nervous, you're just excited. She's never listened to my podcast ever. And somehow she pulled this line out on me. I tell you it was like crazy jujitsu. And I'm like dude, you are so right, you are so right.
Speaker 1:And so I got to the field, dropped down my bags, took out my pregame car and we did our walk around the field, then went the full pregame, did a great warmup and, man, as soon as I blew that whistle, I felt great. I felt great, absolutely great, and I was so excited to be on the pitch with those young men. They're fit, they're fast and they're running and I am out there with them. Okay, man, it was raining on us like 75% of the match and I was having fun. I had 12 cards in this game. 12 cards.
Speaker 1:This was not an easy match. One of the teams was completely Spanish-speaking, latin. Some of the guys said I'm sure they had some English, but my gosh, I mean it was a challenging, feisty match. 12 cards, okay, I had, oh my gosh, how many cards for reckless challenges in this match. Six, seven cards for reckless challenges in this match. I had a few cards for delay of the restart, a failure to respect the distance, a spa. I had it finished 2-0, so it was a close match as well. This was an intense match, man.
Speaker 1:I made a couple mistakes. I had one that was a player was in an offside position, but the ball was deliberately played back from a defender. He was all the way up by the halfway line but he played. The ball was deliberately played back from a defender. He was all the way up by the halfway line but he played the ball back. It should have been perfectly good, no offside call, but I missed it, the guy, the ball went for the three players and it was a little bit of time between the time him playing it to the time that the guy wound up receiving the ball, and so I completely missed it. My assistant referee went up with the flag and, as I said in my pregame checklist, I should have yelled out defender, defender. And I just completely blew it. I raised my hand, called the indirect free kick, blew the whistle. I made a mistake and it was early in the match and I just don't know. I'm like, ah, I'm sorry, guys, I called it, let's just go on. My bad. And everyone was cool with that.
Speaker 1:Like first minute of the match there was a hard challenge. A hard challenge. It wasn't a sliding challenge, it wasn't from behind, but two players are going to kick the ball. One person kicks the ball away, the other person gets shin to shin. It hurt, there's no doubt. But instead of giving a card 60 seconds in, I chose to go game management and have a conversation with the guy. I'm like yo, hey, now I got your number, don't do that Like you're on a warning right now.
Speaker 1:Next foul, any foul, whatnot expect? There could be a card, take it easy, or there could be consequences. I figured exactly what I said to him but I was just like pretty much like with a smile, like yo, we're 60 seconds in the match, man, come on please. And so he was fine with it. But I will tell you later in the match, when I did have to award a card for a reckless challenge down by the penalty area against the team who had gotten fouled in the first minute, they're like why wasn't that a foul? Why wasn't that a foul? In retrospect I wish I did show a card to that early foul because it gets, it sets a precedent right. And then people are like why didn't you call that foul If you're, or why didn't you give a card there If you're giving a card here? So this is always an issue and a great reminder. If you've got a yellow card worthy foul in the first 60 seconds and it's clear, give the card, give the card Okay. If it's clear, give it. If it's questionable, okay, man management. But if it's in that first six seconds and it's clear, it doesn't matter if it's the first 60 seconds or 60 minutes.
Speaker 1:Otherwise I thought I did really well from a game management standpoint, like seriously my communications, my match control, my credibility during the match, my movement. I covered 5.7 miles in that match so I had good movement. I will tell you, in the last 10 minutes I was laboring. I was definitely laboring. I was feeling my calves tighten up and I got to tell you I did not fully recover from that match. It was Sunday 4 pm kickoff. I didn't fully recover until about Wednesday evening because Monday morning, tuesday morning, even Wednesday morning, I was still feeling sore. So I know I worked my butt off on that one.
Speaker 1:But I got good feedback from the players post-match and my son watched me and he's definitely a. He would tell me if I didn't do a good job and he thought I did a good job and I was excited. I felt accomplished, I felt like I put in good work and I love the fact that I challenged myself. I love the fact that I did something that was difficult for me. I love the fact that I got to participate at that level of competition and put myself out there at 50 years old and running up and down that pitch and working my butt off to be in the right position and making those tough calls when those tough calls needed to be, and showing those cards when they needed to be shown. I am so proud of that. So I'll just say it was a wonderful experience. It was an exhausting experience. It was a challenging experience, but that's what makes it so great, right? So the best things in life are rarely easy. When they are challenging, it is so gratifying when you achieve them or when they're done.
Speaker 1:So, just for all of you out there who are nervous about taking that next step or working those challenging matches, whatnot I encourage you to do it. Do it, just throw yourself into it and give it a shot. If you find out you don't like it, great, you don't like it. You don't have to do it again. But don't let the worry of maybe I can do it, maybe I can't, and then you never do it. Just go for it. And the worst thing that happens not a great experience. You don't want to do it again, but at least go for it. And now I'm excited. I can't wait to do it again soon. So it was a wonderful experience. I just want to encourage you to challenge yourself and keep on pushing forward. Which is fantastic.
Speaker 1:All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed today's show and forward, which is fantastic. All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed today's show and I definitely want to remind you again check out the refs. Need love to store for your father's day gifts and even if you're not a father and you're a mother, hook yourself up man it was his mother's day, my gosh. And if you just want to support the refs, need love to channel, do it. Encourage you to do it. All that money gets poured back in the channel. I just bought some new microphones this week whatnot? That are not cheap. Please support the channel. Definitely check out the brand new red and yellow cards of the pregame checklist or any merch, whatnot.
Speaker 1:Again, anything you do is sincerely appreciated. I just want to tell you, guys, I love you. Make sure you spend time with your family. If you've got kids, spend time with them while you can, because I think the numbers are like 99% of the time you get to spend with them are before they turn 18. After they turn 18 and they go off to college or go work someplace else and move really hard to spend time with them again. So do it while you can. Do not lose that opportunity. All right, I love you all and I hope your next match is red card free. We'll be right back you.