#033 Raising Men: Fathering Identity, Leading with Courage (with Dusty Lapp)

What happens when a man stops drifting, gets clear on who he is, and starts leading from a grounded, God-given identity?

In this episode of Nutrition Gateway, I’m joined by Dusty Lapp- husband, father, minister, mentor, coach, and former professional bullfighter - celebrating his new book Kingdom Men: Rise, Lead, Finish. Dusty unpacks why sonship comes before striving, why identity is the first battlefield for men, and how vision (or lack of it) shapes marriage, family, health, and legacy.

We talk masculinity in today’s culture, why “toxic masculinity” is a lazy label, and what leadership actually looks like at home (often quiet, consistent, and courageous). Dusty also shares encouragement for wives carrying too much; and why prayer and honour can become catalysts for change.

If you’re raising boys, married to a man finding his feet, or you’re a man who knows you were made for more - this will land.

What You’ll Learn (Key Takeaways)

• Identity before activity: worth isn’t earned-sonship/acceptance comes first (Matthew 3–4).
• Why men drift without vision -and how that impacts the whole household.
• Maturity isn’t age; it’s responsibility.
• Masculine leadership: protect, guide, govern (bring order and safety).
• Why men disengage under repeated criticism (withdrawal is common).
• The “crown” principle: words can strengthen leadership - or undermine it.
• Why prayer shifts the dynamic when control is released.
• Fathering shapes identity: what children believe they deserve and pursue.
• Whole-person health: spirit, soul, body - wholeness brings stability.
• Why Dusty wrote the book: break generational patterns and finish strong.
• Bullfighting lesson: courage moves toward discomfort; fear-marked areas require leadership.

Resources

• Kingdom Men: Rise, Lead, Finish (Dusty Lapp) - Amazon.com.au Kindle
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dusty.lapp.9
• Instagram: @dustyl_kingdommen
• Website: https://kingdommencoaching.com/

Scripture referenced (themes)
Romans 8:19 • Matthew 3–4 • Proverbs 27:17 • Ephesians 2:10 • Exodus 20:5–6

About your host
I’m Sally-Anne Kearns, Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and host of Nutrition Gateway. I help women calm anxiety, clear brain fog, and stabilise energy through simple, stackable micro-habits grounded in nutrition and lifestyle foundations.

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Transcript

Sally-Anne Kearns  0:14  
Excellent. I am blessed today to be joined by dusty Lapp. This is a very interesting man. He's had a really big life, and it seems like he's only just getting started. He's a husband, a father, a minister, a mentor and a coach with a mission to help men discover their God given identity, gain vision and lead with courage. He was commissioned as a minister to men in 2006 and has spent more than two decades developing leaders and expanding their impact. Dusty brings a rare mix of lived experience and training. His life's work has been shaped in a unique blend of grit, faith and relentless pursuit of growth as a bullfighter for over 16 years in the PBR and PRCA, he's a John Maxwell, Maxwell certified coach, national board certified, health and wellness coach, nutritional therapy practitioner, just like me, precision nutrition level two masters, men's health coach. And his work has taken him into prisons, churches and communities across the US and Europe. I love the scripture that he brings into his calling and his life and work are marked by a single focus, walk as son and help men discover their God, given identity, gain vision and fulfill their calling. Romans, 819, dusty welcome.

Dusty Lapp  1:31  
Thank you so much. That was a very nice intro. I appreciate that. Sally and just touch and base with you a little bit before we started recording, I love your heart for people, and I am excited to see what unfolds as we get into this.

Sally-Anne Kearns  1:50  
Yeah, absolutely. Anne from the nutritional therapy Association has just been such an instrument of my growth. And I love it when she sees somebody or see something. And she just said, sounds, would you mind talking to this person? And I remember looking through your book and and downloading it, and it just really struck my heart, because I thought, women, we lead, we lead our families in unison with our husbands, but we're offering often raising young men, and I've got two in my household, and my husband. My husband's a kingdom man. And your book Kingdom men read like lead and finish, discover your identity and gain vision and fulfill your calling, is something that's pretty new. So I'm looking forward to understanding why you know, how you sort of came into this laneway specifically. And so what is your background and specialty?

Dusty Lapp  2:47  
So, specifically, Men's Health and so started in nutritional therapy. And I want to jump back a little bit, and I'm not sure if I met Leanne before this or the first NTA class in Australia. Gray, gray. Graham started NTA, and I'm in southern Idaho. Gray's, I don't know, 12 hours away or so. And this was, shucks, 15 years ago. Maybe I was in practice. I had gone through the program, and if you've gone through the program back then, you could hear and recognize Gray's voice because of all of the content that we listened to. And I got a phone call, and he said, Hey, dusty, this is gray. And I was like, Whoa, why is gray calling me? And at the time, he was owner of biotics Northwest. And he said, I just noticed that you've been ordering a lot of supplements, and I just thought I should probably call and get to know you and and that's kind of where gray and my relationship started. And then he asked me up to this other training practitioner thing. And while I was up there, he said, Hey, we're gonna, we're gonna launch NTA Australia. And I just wanted to know if you, if you'd like to join me in that, and you can help start that. And I said, Absolutely. So we fly down to Australia, and loved it down there. And Leanne was, was so instrumental in that whole thing, the workload that she had to get NTA Australia, up and going was just mind blowing what she had to do and go through. And she's tenacious and visionary and just very sharp. So lot of respect for Leanne. That's how I met Leanne. That's how I got into nutritional therapy. And then I was I went on to train teach for the NTA, not only just the NT Australia helping that get going, but then other classes in the States, so along with that, worked at the NTA, and then I had my own private practice. And as you mentioned earlier, my heart has always been for men, for men to rise up and become who God created them to be, because they the strength of man is their masculinity, and the strength of women is their femininity. And in today's culture, it's been homogenized, and as such, we've lost the strength that each provides. And so it's just been in my heart, especially growing up around rodeo, a Cowboy Western lifestyle, very masculine, very hard working. And there's a lot of strength there that the states, I'm not sure about Australia, but I know culturally, we're losing that masculine strength that only men can bring so focused on that helping men discover the vision for their life, and there are a number of ways that I do that to help gain vision and mission. I don't know if you can see it. My background right up there. Have my vision, my vision and my mission and my why and my values. I go through them every day. And men, because they lack vision, they can't lead their family. They can't lead their self first, and then they can't lead those around them, so everybody else suffers. And as a result, women that desire for safety, they're seeing a big void. And so they try to step into roles that they were never created to have. And so they're weighing their way, way, excuse me, wearing a tremendous weight that they were never designed to wear. So as men grow and become stronger, it benefits women and children.

Sally-Anne Kearns  6:29  
I just feel, I just feel really relieved Hearing you say that because it, you know, the role, the role of the household, has been diluted and women have it makes me quite emotional, because, in a way, we've been hoodwinked to think that we can have it all and be it all. And it was never designed like that. We weren't really like, yes, we can do things, and we can do them well, and we can do them, you know, in equal to men, in a way, but there's but you're right, that dynamic of the family and the unit of relationship is actually empowered when you work together and you get that right sequence, should I say? And it's certainly been, you know, as an independent woman that's had a really huge career, it's been difficult for me in my marriage to be able to be humbled by the leadership of my husband, because, you know, we're different. I'm fast quick, he's more considered and slower and softer and quieter, but that's his strength. And when, you know when I get or if I've been in overwhelm, the interesting part of that is, I'll look at that as a weakness, but it's never a weakness. It's always a strength, and that's how he leads. So I think it's fascinating how that you've used the three words rise lead and finish on the title of your book.

Dusty Lapp  7:51  
Yeah, yes, go ahead. I don't want to interrupt.

Sally-Anne Kearns  7:55  
No, I'm just I'm so curious why you picked those three words. Because they mean something really powerful for me, but I'd love to understand where that came from.

Dusty Lapp  8:03  
Okay, and so I'll share, and then I also want to hear what they mean to you after, so that I can I can learn and grow in it as well. So rise specifically because, and we'll talk about this in a bit. But boys are designed to grow and become men, but they're first a son, and we're looking at it through the lens of our relationship with God. And first and foremost, we're sons of God. And so many men grow up with an orphan mentality because they haven't been fathered, not only just naturally, but spiritually. And so there are all of these areas where they try to prove themselves, and they're they're trying to prove something. They're trying to gain their identity from all of their all of these outward things, when, in reality, identity is given by the father, just like Jesus in Matthew, the end of Matthew, chapter three, and then into chapter four, when Jesus is being baptized, and Holy Spirit descends on him, and the voice from heaven says, This is My beloved Son in whom I'm well pleased. So God's recognizing Jesus, giving identity and acceptance before Jesus ever did anything. So sonship and acceptance come prior to any kind of outward acts. It comes from who we are, not what we do. And then Jesus is led into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And the first thing he says is, if you are the Son of God, then do something. And so as a man, our identity is directly attacked. Our sonship is directly attacked, and then we're encouraged to prove ourselves and who we are, as opposed to resting in who God says we are, and from that, we live out a life of doing things and helping people and that. But that's not where we gain our identity. We gain our identity from who our Father says we are. And it's the same with boys. They gain their identity from who their father says they are from, from the word spoken over their father. So I'll, I'll put on the brakes right there, because there's, I could just keep going, and I don't want to, I don't want to get us off course here.

Sally-Anne Kearns  10:19  
Well, there is no like, there's no cause. There's a framework. But I and so the I love that, I love that on so many different levels, because I think I'd run from, from faith. You know, I've run, I've run, I ran from, and I'll never forget the encounter that I had with Jesus, and one night I was sitting in the bathroom floor after Jesus had come into my heart, and I remember saying, Lord, I just want to thank you for coming into my heart. And I heard God audibly say, I've been there all along. And what I saw before me was a movie of my life from birth, where God was there in all of the big moments, and how he was witnessing me as his daughter, and it just gave me this level of surrender to I am loved, I am seen, I am known, I am understood, I am cherished beyond anything that the world could give me. And it's been a gift having that relationship now with God, because I'm looking at my life through a totally different lens, and it's not through striving. It's like, Lord, is this what you want me to do today? Do you want me to podcast dusty? Do you want me to go and have lunch with a friend? And so now, all of a sudden, I'm empowered through the purpose that God's given for my life, which makes it satisfying and full. So I love lead, and for me, leadership is not something that we're born with, it's it's totally something I believe that is learned through modeling and the people that were around. So what did that mean for you in this context, in this book.

Dusty Lapp  12:03  
Well, for from a man's perspective, we have been given responsibilities to guard, to guide, to govern, or to protect, direct and correct, to bring order. And if a man so it first starts with me. If I can't lead my own life. I can't lead people around me. And the issue that culture has is there's so many men who haven't been validated in their leadership. In fact, they've been told that their masculinity is whether it's toxic which there's no such thing as toxic masculinity. There's just masculinity that adds strength, or people who are not masculine, and that is toxic, but masculinity, in and of itself, is a God given gift, to lead, to protect, to guide, to govern the things around, and that gives safety to everybody. So as a as a man, as a boy, grows in his identity, and then he starts to understand, with that identity, I have responsibility. And one of the things to understand is maturity doesn't come with age. It comes with the acceptance of responsibility. And the reason there are so many immature men is because they haven't accepted the responsibility that they have to lead first themselves and get their life in order and gain some vision, understand what the vision is and and walk that out, and then they can give that to their wife and their kids, the people around them. But it's tough for for a woman in a marriage to say to her husband, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and submit to your leadership when he doesn't know where he's going. That's a difficult thing. And so men need to understand that there's a responsibility that we have to lead first. We need to lead self, and that's our relationship with God, that's our health, that's our emotions, that's our physical, spiritual, mental, relational and financial life. It needs to be in order, and we need to be leading those things. So many people, so many guys, just kind of drift through life because they lack vision, and then their wife is left saying, I don't know where we're going. What are we doing? And so they try to lead. And now there's this butting of the heads. There's this conflict. So if men can lead, that makes it so much better for the home and everybody else around them. Yeah, totally.

Sally-Anne Kearns  14:31  
We're all seeking leadership, and particularly in a marriage. We want to feel safe. We want to feel really secure in, you know, our husband's love for us and the direction that he's taking our family. And so if you're a woman out there and you're sort of not feeling as though your men's quite in that space, what advice would you give, perhaps, to a wife that's on the sideline and can see that her husband's perhaps wavering a little bit whether they're Christians or not. What, what would you what would all advice would you give to that wife?

Dusty Lapp  14:58  
So every scenario is so different. But what I will say this is that men will absolutely flourish when they are respected, when they are edified, when the words coming out of their wife's mouth and understand this, that their wife is the one person in the world that they would die for. They would do anything for and when her words are building up, when her words are placing him and shaping his identity into who he is, it changes everything. If she is critical of him, it will knock the legs out from under him quicker than anything and and a lot of guys will just get quiet. They will start to separate and do their own thing, not because they don't love their wife, not because they wouldn't die for their wife, but it's a defense mechanism that this one person in my world that I am wanting to guard and to love and to provide for seems to be attacking me, even though she's not, but that's how he receives it. So I guess just a picture that would be very helpful, and I'll ask you a quick question. Sally, how do you know the difference between an ordinary man and a king,

Sally-Anne Kearns  16:25  
who he serves, who he serves,

Dusty Lapp  16:29  
okay, and, and visually, if you have two men, you know which one is the king, by which one has The crown on his head and and a wife's words will either continue to put a crown on her husband's head, or it will continue to yank that off. And the more that you can put a crown on his head, the more of a king he's going to be, and the better he's going to lead, the better he's going to be able to provide, the better he's going to be able to direct the better he's going to be able to give that safety for His kingdom. So his kingdom is a direct relationship with his unity with his wife. So there are a number of things there and but I love speaking into the lives of men, because they, many times, are just so unaware on how do I how do I dwell with my wife, with understanding I don't understand. I want to lead, I want to love, I want to serve, I want to but I don't understand how to and then she's at odds with him. He's at odds with her. Doesn't have to be that way at all. Doesn't have to be

Sally-Anne Kearns  17:40  
I'll never forget a beautiful Christian friend that's been on the path a lot longer than I have say, you know, just sharing around some concerns that I have. You know, in marriage at that time, there was some stuff going on, and she just said, Well, do you pray for him? And I'm thinking, I pray for lots of things, but I hadn't intentionally surrendered issues to God about my marriage. And I'll never forget one day there was something that was troubling me with how I can't remember even it was, it was trivial, right? But I remember being like, I'm going to try this. And so I literally sort of left the room, and I just had a quiet minute where I was like, Lord, I just this situation. I'm, you know, I don't feel like my husband's handling it as well as he could. And I just want to hand this to you. So I just want you to show him, or reveal to him what it is that might be helping him to move through this. And I kid you not, when I walked back into the room, my husband was like, Hey, I got this idea

Dusty Lapp  18:47  
and that, and that's, that's something that happens so often, when we just submit to God's way. Yeah, and that, like, like, you, you nail it on the head. The more as as a wife, you can pray for your husband, because he has these different hats that he's wears, these different roles that he wears, and he goes into the world, and it seems like the world is against him in every area, trying to get finances, trying to guard his family, trying to court, to chart the course for this is what we're doing. This is how we're doing it. How are we paying the bills? Where are we going? And the best thing that as a wife is to pray. Pray that He hears from God, pray that he's submitted to God. Pray, pray that he has other men around him that are going to encourage him in the things of God, who are going to help strengthen him and surround him and but prayer, because, as a man is submitted to God, he's got to hear so here's another aspect of just the masculinity a man is is not only the king aspect, but he's the priest, meaning he needs to hear from God on behalf of his family, and he needs to take his family before the throne of God and be talking with Jesus about his wife and his kids, and how can I lead them? This is what they're struggling with. Give me understanding. Help Me lead so a wife who prays for her husband is, oh, so valuable, irreplaceable.

Sally-Anne Kearns  20:23  
There's been times where I've had to ask my husband, look, I'm really stuck with this, and you to pray for me and look, that's the Unity piece. I want to digress a tiny bit, because it is a topic that's probably pretty popular in the world at the moment, it's this struggle with, with with physical identity. So I guess what I'm meaning by this is, there's young women that feel as though they should have been born as men, and there's men or young boys that think, you know, I feel there's, there's a disorientation of their physical gifting. I'm not making anything right or wrong, because I know that there was a season of my life when I was a top boy. I never wore a dress, I never wore a skirt, I never wanted to look like a girl. It wasn't that I hadn't embodied my femininity at that age, that the power of being a woman came my understanding of what a gift it was was much later. And so what do you think? Do you think that the strategies that you're teaching will help this confusion for children coming in up in this world because they're sort of being assaulted. There's lots of mixed messaging, and it's everywhere, you know, there's, there's, there's lots of different things that are sort of trying to get our attention, I think, and particularly at that age where they're so impressionable and they're looking for the next dopamine hit and they're feeling isolated. What would you what advice would you give to a father, perhaps that's seeing some tendencies in his family like this. Yeah.

Dusty Lapp  22:07  
So first off, deal with deal with your own junk that you've got going on. So as men, what? Often times we want the blessing of God, we want life, but we want to do it our own way. We want to go hang out at the bar and and carouse and let our eyes wander. We want to watch stuff on TV or on the computer, whether it be pornography or things that are explicit. Let that into our life, but then we're surprised when those same sexual tendencies start to show up in our kids. It's there's so God does things in patterns based on principles and and the one of those patterns and principles is as the king goes so so goes the country. So if a man can't lead himself around sexuality and gain God's heart on it, and why does God have things lined out a certain way? Because everything God does is for our benefit. It's never to harm us. It's never to to steal joy. It's never It's to bring life. And the thing about when, when we get wrapped up in our own ways, and we start to do things our own way, and we it appears like it's life, but it's end. Results in heartache. It ends it results in pain, it results in confusion. And I will say this as I think I started out by saying that identity is the main thing that's being attacked, and if we don't know who God says we are, we'll never be able to walk out the plans that He has for us, because we're trying to be someone or something else. God is very intentional about who he created us to be with purpose. Before the foundation of the world, before we were ever a twinkle in our parents eye, he had a life laid out for us that was full of good things that we should walk in here in it says in Ephesians. And so when we get to know our Creator who created us, because if I don't know my Creator, I don't know me, because he's the one that created me. And so if I can gain an understanding on God's heart, on the matter, then I can start to submit to His ways, and then I then I start to get his life. But if I try to do it my own way, it's all up to me. I have to try and figure out my path. And as men, we have a responsibility to lead ourselves so that we can teach our sons and daughters. This is who you are. This is who I'm speaking into you. This is your life. This is what you this. This is your identity. It comes from the Father that and I'm talking not only God, but just naturally, a father's voice. I so I have four daughters and and one stepson who's younger, but I have four daughters, 17 down to seven, and their identity, their value, the things that they pursue, the things that they allow in their life, the friends and the relationships, those are shaped because of the words that I speak into their life, how I talk to them, how I love their mom. They're seeing these things. So if somebody sees something that's not good from a man towards his wife, or towards how he treats women, how he views women, specifically a woman, because they want safety, they're going to put up these walls and they're going to say, I don't want that. Where do I go to get safety? Well, I'm not going to go here, because that's not safe and that's not what I want. So I don't, I don't really know if I answered specific your question, but

Sally-Anne Kearns  26:27  
you did, and I was one that we I didn't prep before so but it was something that I feel is pretty relevant for this day and age, and my heart is that these children do recognize that they've been intentionally created in the in where they're where you know, how they've been created is intentional and that they've because there's no mistakes. There really isn't sorry,

Dusty Lapp  26:58  
there's so the attack against identity is key, and we need to we need to understand truth. So when we're in the nutritional therapy field, we understand our body. There are things that take place in our body, and if we don't have the right nutrients, it just doesn't take place. And there are certain things that happen in a man's body and a woman's body, and they're completely different. And that's just science. So even if we take, I never do but for some people who might be against God or say, well, there's, there is no God, okay, so he's, he's not in this conversation. For that person, science just says certain things, and there are certain laws that are in play, and we can't because we want them to be different or because we're uncomfortable with them. It doesn't change the laws. It doesn't change physiology. It doesn't change how our body works. So what we can do is be so bold as to say, Okay, God, if you are there, show me, teach me and take that level of pride down and say, Okay, I don't believe there's a God. And I hear these other people saying there is God, and if, if you're there, they talk about your love. Show me your love. Show me and teach me who I am, show me who I am. Don't let another person dictate your identity. I would just say, submit that to God and see what he says, see what he does in you. He's a loving father. He's so good.

Sally-Anne Kearns  28:36  
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm really taking from that last sort of segue that we need to clean up our own act, and that comes in layers. And so if there's things that are resulting in shame, guilt, you know, things that are hidden, they need to be released, and they need to be done so in a manner, so that we can, so that men and women really can lead their their families, to less generational pain, first and foremost, and less struggle. For me, I've come from an addictive lineage for alcohol and drugs, and it's huge. It's right, right through my generational pattern. This year, like for a few years, the Lord's really been saying this isn't good for you. You You shouldn't be drinking wine, even if it is organic and it's occasional. It was really clear, and it was late last year that I went, Well, I want the life that God's planned for me, and if he's telling me that I need to stop doing this, and coffee was the same. So the Lord really revealed to me is like, if you're going to keep these addictions, even if they're occasional, but if you're going to rely on anything else other than me, then how are you going to be the best of the best at what you're planning to do? And so I had to really have a good hard look at myself and ask, what was I gaining, you know, from from these activities, but also, what was I modeling to my children? Am I modeling to because one of the things that I recognized in myself and in our home, we don't model rest, well, we don't, we don't, we really don't. We don't have a lot of tools to model rest. And so I was like, Okay, well Lord, if you're showing me that we need to model rest, we need some strategies, and we need to start to show the kids like how to tune off, because we're in a society that most kids spend five hours a day on Tiktok when they're teams. So if my kids don't have the tools to defrag at the end of a day then and I don't have the tools, then somebody's going to learn them and teach them, because it's not something that we're born with. So when I think about this identity piece, as we start to get to know God, and as he rightly said, just if you're a non believer, that's totally cool, but you got nothing to lose to ask God to show you if he is there for you, because your life only does get better. And I guess you know, it does. I'm sorry. I mean, I've done it for 40 years without, and I've done it for a few years with, and it's way more fun.

Dusty Lapp  31:12  
Yes, so what was

Sally-Anne Kearns  31:14  
the inspiration to this book? Have you always wanted to write a book, or did life just put on your heart like I've got to do this. What? How did this get born?

Dusty Lapp  31:23  
Yes, so it's been something that's been in me, and I don't so I think God puts dreams and desires in us for a reason, and they're from there. It's like a motorcycle, like or a or a car, or even a horse. So Western world, you have a horse that is bred as a cutting horse, or a reigning horse, or a bucking horse that's in them from the time they're born. And they may not always get the opportunity to use that or express that, but it doesn't mean it's not there. So there are different desires inside of people's hearts that they're there from birth. And this was one of those desires, is that I just I love people. I love seeing people grow and become everything that they were created to be. Because, if not, it's a disservice to everybody around them. Because when Sally, when you're not at your best, you're not you're you're impacting the people around you less than you could be. So I want you to be hitting on all cylinders, because that benefits not only you but the people around you. And I see that with men, that so many men die unfulfilled, and then they pass that on to their kids, and you mentioned like alcohol or these different vices or addictions, the word tells us in Exodus that God visits the the sins of the father on the third and the fourth generations, but then he goes on to say, But, but the righteousness for 1000s of generations. So we tend to, we tend to look at the bad, and that's why a man has to fight battles if, if I don't fight battles, my I hand them off to my kids for three and four generations. So I have a responsibility to fight these battles so my kids don't have to, and I have a responsibility to walk out life in a way that's pleasing to God, because my kids also benefit from that in huge ways. There are different spiritual dynamics attached to generational curses, different things that people have, lineage wise, spiritual bondage, that Jesus came to break. And so there are those things that people have in their life that they just can't seem to get over, and they're doing all the things naturally or mentally or with the counselor one word from Jesus can break things in somebody's life like no counselor can ever break. So as as a man, we got to lead, and we've got to get stuff right and break those things generationally in our lives. And I wanted to write a book in a way that could help men grow into the identity that they that God created them to be, so that they could lead their families, they could love their wives, they could leave a legacy, and that's the last part of it, that they could finish what God's put in them. Not just bumble through life, but finish strong. Leave an impact. A legacy is something that goes on beyond the person. It's not just something, it's not just getting money, it's not just getting things. It's what have I instilled into my kids? Do my kids even know who God is? Do they know how to hear from God? Do they all know how to walk from God? Do they understand what God put inside of them? Because then they add value to the world. That's legacy. That's what I want to leave, and that's what I want other men to leave.

Sally-Anne Kearns  34:54  
Powerful and so what if a non Christian picks up the book? What in terms of philosophy and concepts, can we go into how the framework works, and is it going to be suitable for somebody that doesn't have faith?

Dusty Lapp  35:10  
Yes, yes, absolutely. So they're going to look at and there will be scripture in it. So there's, there's Bible in it. There are things that Jesus says in it, there are principles in it, just like believer or non believer, if you climb a tree and you jump out, you're going to fall. That's just a natural principle. So there are natural principles that we can take and apply to our life and get some things figured out that's going to lead to success. And my hope is that it's not just success for you, but it's actual significance, which means it's for other people. So getting our eyes off of self, on to others and as you, as you go through the the book and have a coaching program, but it's for the person to build the person I want. I want people to be healthy, spirit, soul and body. We can't do just one and think we got it. We can't just get our body in line and then our then our mind, our soul, our mind will and emotions a mess, and our spirit is dying. We can't we're not healthy, then we need a whole person, because when we're whole, then we have power. But if we're divided, we're powerless, we're striving, we're frustrated, and nothing makes sense.

Sally-Anne Kearns  36:25  
Yeah, there's no flow, I guess. Yeah. And so why is it important to the world this book? Do you think is it to challenge, inspire, strengthen men?

Dusty Lapp  36:37  
Yes, I believe it's important on a number of fronts, men, men are living far below who God created them To be. They're living far below their potential. They're they're experiencing so much less of the life that Jesus came to give them, because they're falling for so many lies that the world tells them, and in that there's a tremendous immaturity and lack of shouldering that responsibility, that that a man has. And so not only do they suffer, but the people around them suffer. So if men are strong, women can be, can be free to prosper. Can be, can be free to flourish in what's in their heart, because they're not trying to do what the guy should be doing, because he's shouldering the load. A guy should be making way. A man should make way for women and children. A man should sacrifice so love sacrifices self for the benefit of others, and too many men are lusting they're trying to get from everybody else at the expense to benefit self. And men have a responsibility to to die for the others, to shed their blood, to to work the long hours, to to give and to go without so women and children can have better than they have. That's a man's responsibility, and so many guys shy away from it just because, whether they think they can't do it, they don't know how to do it. They're not sure if they can. The culture tells them, no, that's not your job. Just sit there and be passive. No, no. Passive. Men on my watch, and it because men have it in them to go and to conquer, not just to conquer for conquer sake, but conquer for the benefit of the people around them. Powerful.

Sally-Anne Kearns  38:53  
I can't wait to see a world that looks more like that, because everything does start in the home, if we're not aware of that, but we spend so much time together, we want to have that harmony. We want to have that direction. And we do. We as women, we want to feel safe, and as men, we want to feel courageous and on purpose and fulfilled and respected. You know that's what I hear from my husband. I'm hearing you talk, and I'm just like, Thank you God for bringing me my husband. You know, I'm just, I didn't realize at the time, but I just knew in my heart it was definitely God that brought us together when we came together. But it's just, it's becoming more apparent to me what leadership looks like, and it doesn't look like what we think it looks like like it's not men being on stage. It's not men doing really crazy things. It's it's none of that. It's more of a quiet, sort of, can be quiet posture of just knowing who they are. And that's, that's so beautiful, interesting. I have so many more questions, but I'm mindful of our time. I've just so where do people find the book? I have my copy because I'm going to be reading it myself. But where do Where do people find the book?

Dusty Lapp  40:08  
Yeah, so can get it on Amazon, and then I don't know if it's up on my website yet. My website is Kingdom men coaching.com and my website guy, I don't know if he has a link to it there yet or not, but if not, it's on Amazon kingdom in Rise lead finish, and yeah, I would encourage you get it for the men that you love, for for people who have young men, boys who are becoming men so important that that the they are fathered. They need to be fathered because a mom can't, can't teach a boy How to Be a man. Only a father can father a son into a man.

Sally-Anne Kearns  40:50  
So that's beautiful. I was just reading one of the reviews, and it happens to be from the CEO of the nutritional therapy Association, and it's Mike belts, and this is kingdom. Men rise, lead and finish. Is a guide for any man who's tired of drifting and ready to reclaim the strength clarity and calling that God intended for his life. This powerful message calls men out of the fog and into a solid God given identity, one that doesn't bend with culture, but stands firm in the truth. It's not just encouragement. It's a road map, back to the man God made you to be. And I think it's a pretty dynamic review there. I mean, you, you know that's that's so powerful. So it really feels as though this was been one of your callings. Now I'm just curious. I want to totally digress. I need to understand about bull riding for a minute, and I just really feel like asking, How did God show up with you at those I mean, that's a pretty hectic career, like in terms of facing your fear and being courageous, because those animals are really unpredictable. So how did God work with you in that arena? When, when you were doing bull riding?

Dusty Lapp  42:05  
Yeah, so I started out riding bulls, and then, and then I went into fighting bulls. So a bull fighter gets the bull away from the bull rider. When, when the bull rider gets off? So I started riding. And then the I had that 16 year career fighting bulls, and that was something that was it. And I think there so, whether it's fighting bulls or, you know, being the best computer programmer there is. There's something within a man that says, I want to be the best. I want to face this challenge and overcome it. I want to be able to see look at fear and say, No, I'm not going to cower. I'm going to overcome so there's something within fighting bulls, and it's it's in me. Since I was little, I would go out into the pasture, and my grandparents had had cows and bulls, and I'd see the bull laying down out in the pasture, and I'd get up as close to it as I could before it would get up and start coming towards me. And then I'd run to the and get underneath the fence. And so that that excitement was in me since I was a little kid. I don't know why, but then it got to when I was able to compete, when I was able to do it for work and make money at it, and I was good at it. And I love the satisfaction of being able to add value that the guys around me, the bull riders, when they knew I was there, they were like, Okay, we're good because I had it under control. So there was a there was a growth, there was a not in a prideful, arrogant way, but I was proud of what I was able to offer. I was proud of what I was able to do. And inwardly I was, I was I was able to compete with myself to make myself better, because I wasn't going to allow fear of hurt, anything, keep me small. I just won't do it. And that's one thing that so many men deal with, is fear on any number of any any level. And the thing with wherever the fear is, wherever the discomfort is, wherever the rub is. That's exactly where a man has to jump right in the middle of it and say, No, I'm going to bring order here. I'm going to lead here. But this will not determine my actions. I will, you know, bring, I will make this place safe. And so fighting bulls was a great way to do that, and and it was, it was a great career. Met a lot of good friends, and it taught me so much about myself. It taught me so much about the Father on God and what he's called us to as men, and that we're capable of so much more than we think we are. And I want to help men see that there's more in them than they think there is, and there's just these little areas of fear that they've allowed to make them very small. Once they face that fear, they realize, wow, that's where the life is

Sally-Anne Kearns  45:09  
very powerful. It really just lands with last night, I had a dream, and it was, I was just in this weird dream, and I was just about to pray for someone, and the Lord was encouraging me to pray Proverbs, 2717, which, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. And I guess what you've created here, in through this book, in through a coaching program, is you've walked and faced fear yourself. You've conquered how to for understand the nuances of what rising, leading and finishing strong in your life looks like, and now it's a baton that you're prepared to gift other men from a place of you know, come with me. I'm ready to show you. So I think that's what that dream was about last night is just when we want to change and we want to be better, we need to be around people that can model that for us until we find our own way. And I think you're doing an incredible job. I'm so excited to see what comes next for you, and I feel really blessed to have had this conversation today. Thank you.

Dusty Lapp  46:20  
So it's been, it's been a privilege, and thank you so much for taking the time and being so thoughtful. And I don't know if this happens on any of your other podcasts or vlogs. I don't even know the name of the video one, but would it be all right if I just prayed? And yeah, that's what

Sally-Anne Kearns  46:38  
we're here for. You

Dusty Lapp  46:39  
bet. Well, Father, I thank you so much for the opportunity just to come and share, and for anybody who's listening, who has questions, who has been hurt, whether it be religion or other people, and they're just arm's length with You, Holy Spirit, I just ask you to work in their heart and their mind and and just overwhelm them with your love and with your compassion and with your goodness. Ask you to draw them to to you, and start to reveal to them the plans that you have for them. You you've been thinking about them before they were even born, and you planned a life for them that's full of good thing, that things that you desire, they should walk in and so holy spirit. I ask you to draw them to you, and we just pray these things in Jesus name Amen.

Sally-Anne Kearns  47:27  
Thank you. Powerful, awesome. Well, have a beautiful day.

Dusty Lapp  47:31  
Thank you. Sally, alright, we'll, we'll see you. Talk to you soon, hopefully. Awesome.

Sally-Anne Kearns  47:36  
Okay, cool. Well done. That was so fun. Thank you. Well, I'll flick these transcripts and the videos and all the things that.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai