Here's Why You Should Ditch the Switch Witch and Let Your Kids Keep Their Candy

Ever wonder why we're so quick to snatch that Halloween candy from our kids? What if, instead of demonizing sweets, we use them as a tool for teaching self-regulation and a healthy relationship with food? This is the intriguing conversation we unpack in today's episode, challenging the tradition of the SwitchWitch and the potential negative implications it may pose.

We expose the potential pitfalls of the Switch Witch tradition, such as fostering distrust and negative associations with food in our children. The language and strategies we use around candy consumption can significantly affect our children's perception of food. We're not just talking candy here; we're examining the broader issue of how our actions and words can influence our children's relationship with all kinds of food.

Wrapping up, we pivot towards a more positive approach to managing the Halloween candy mania. We ditch the Switch Witch in favor of legalizing candy, allowing our children to keep their treats as an expression of trust. We walk you through a free workshop on rewriting the script on Halloween sweets and even suggest how to handle the candy surplus that your kids aren't interested in eating, such as donating to our troops overseas. So join us to discover a fresh perspective on navigating the sweet-filled world of Halloween traditions.

Show Links: 

• [FREE Halloween Workshop]: "Rewrite the Script on Halloween Sweets to Help Your Kids Self-Regulate Sugar!"

Questions about today's episode or do you have topic requests for future episodes? Please send your feedback via email to hello@crystalkarges.com or connect with Crystal on Instagram.

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

Hey, mama, welcome back to the show. I'm so glad that you're here and tuning in to our mini series as we count down to Halloween, which, at the time of this recording, is coming up pretty quickly here in a couple weeks, and today I wanted to focus on a long time tradition that is often used in homes as a way of managing the influx of candy that our children often receive on Halloween, and that is the SwitchWitch. And if you're not familiar about the SwitchWitch and what that is, I'm gonna give you a little bit of a background here and also some concrete reasons as to why you might want to ditch the SwitchWitch and actually let your kids keep all of their Halloween candy, which I know can bring up a lot of anxiety and stress, and I want to just encourage you as we think about the importance of these candy-centered holidays in helping our children learn how to have a great relationship with sweets and be able to effectively self-regulate, especially a high volume of sweets and sugar. These candy-centered holidays, like Halloween, are coming at a time when sweets in general are just highly demonized in our culture, and predominantly because of diet culture and the messages surrounding candy and sweets and a high volume of sugar and the potential impact on our children's health. There is so much fear mongering around sweets, and it can make it really hard to really feel like we can trust our kids, that we can let them have the volume of candy that they're going to be receiving, which makes it hard for us as parents to be able to support them with the tools that they need to effectively learn how to navigate these types of situations, because they are important and this is the overarching theme that I want you to be thinking about is what is the long-term goals that you want for your children as they grow up, especially in the relationship with food and how they feel about their bodies?

Speaker 0: 2:03

We want our children to be able to manage all different kinds of situations with food as they grow up, and sweets is no exception. We have to remember that we live in a world where all of these different foods exist, including sweets, including various forms of sugar, and no matter how much we might try to rigidly control or micromanage their sweets intake, there will come a point in time in their lives where we are not there to do that and if they haven't been allowed different experiences to navigate that, to understand what feels best in their bodies. It can leave them in a very chaotic situation with sweets and food in general. We also want to remember that eating is a very embodied experience, meaning that our children need experiences to understand what feels good in their bodies and what doesn't. And if we are trying to prevent them from having certain experiences around food like, for example, I'm worried that my child might eat so much candy that they get sick if we're constantly trying to prevent them from having situations where they can understand what feels good and what doesn't, that can make it really difficult for them to gather the data and the information they need to know what feels good in their body and what doesn't. So we're gonna talk about this a little bit more, because this is something that I've definitely seen gain more popularity over the years.

Speaker 0: 3:27

I didn't actually know about the SwitchWitch until my oldest kids were getting of the age of trick-or-treating and Halloween and actually interested in it, and I remember being in a group of friends mom friends who mentioned that they were going to implement the SwitchWitch in their home and, of course, as a new mom, I was curious what does that mean? What is a SwitchWitch do? And if you're not familiar, just as a little bit of background. The SwitchWitch is exactly what it sounds like and there's different ways that I've seen this implemented. So there is an actual book and like witch doll that you can purchase, kind of like the elf in the shelf, where this little witch lives in your house and she's essentially watching and monitoring what your kids are doing and watching their behavior and are they being good or is there bad behavior happening which you know? There can be a lot of implied things happening there as well and it's kind of like your family adopts the Switch and she becomes part of your family and you can write letters to her. You can ask the SwitchWitch for certain surprises or things that you'd like, because ultimately, what the SwitchWitch does is replace your child's hard earned Halloween stash of candy for non-edible things typically.

Speaker 0: 4:47

This is usually how it works, so it could be toys or clothes or whatever your child is really into. I've also seen it implemented more simply where there's not necessarily a witch doll in your home. It's just kind of implied like okay, if we leave your candy out tonight after trick or treating, the SwitchWitch is going to come and take that bulk of Halloween candy and it will be replaced with something else, some non-edible item, usually toys or something that your child is really excited about. And there's different stories that I've heard different variations of the story of the SwitchWitch, such as she needs this high volume of candy in order to fly across the world, or different stories like that in which kids actually can get excited about giving up their candy to her, and I also know that the SwitchWitch has been utilized in different situations as well. So for children that may have food allergies and can't eat much of the candy that they're receiving for trick-or-treating, sometimes that's an incentive or a way to help some of those kiddos be able to relinquish some of that candy. So it's like let's pull out all of the things that your body can't have and let's leave these things for the SwitchWitch, and she will leave you something in exchange for that. So I've definitely seen it in different ways.

Speaker 0: 6:10

One thing that concerns me about the SwitchWitch is some of the fear-mongering around candy and how this can tie into these anti-fat biases that we see promoted through diet culture, where it's like letting your child have candy is going to ruin their health, it's going to cause obesity. We can't trust them to eat this volume of candy, and so we have to find a way to take it away and let's try to make it fun. There are definitely some underlying messages and hidden agendas applied with the SwitchWitch, which is why I do think it's a concerning practice or something to just examine a little closer, especially if you're considering implementing this in your home. Now I do just wanna stress, before I talk more about this, that I am no way implying that if you've done this or if this is a tradition in your home, that there's something wrong with this. I do think there is ways to implement this tradition that can also honor your child's intuitive eating abilities and giving them the experiences that they need to learn how to self-regulate sweets.

Speaker 0: 7:14

I do think our agendas attached to how we utilize some of these strategies are really important to examine. We always want to do some self-reflection as to why am I wanting to implement something like this? What is my ultimate goal? And if your ultimate goal is to try to get your child to eat less candy, or to get rid of your child's candy because you're uncomfortable with it, that is something really important to be aware of, because those hidden agendas will be projected in how you implement these strategies, and this can come with an attached message that our children can pick up on. So I do wanna just talk through some potential ways that the SwitchWitch can backfire, and I know it's often done with really good intention. Nobody no parent ever does the SwitchWitch trying to hurt their child in any way. It's always done with good intention. However, what we want to think about is the bigger picture, and how is implementing this strategy supporting or hindering my child's ability to develop a healthy and positive relationship with food, particularly with sweets, which, again, our kids need. Those experiences that are not the norm, like a high volume of candy, is actually a great opportunity for your child to learn what feels good in my body and what doesn't, and can be supportive for them over the length of their life. And so I just wanna give you some things to consider if you are thinking about implementing this or have been implementing the SwitchWitch. Here are some things to consider. So I just want you to think about some potential reasons where you might want to ditch the SwitchWitch.

Speaker 0: 9:00

So first is that it can have the potential to communicate the wrong message. Sometimes, utilizing the SwitchWitch that's kind of a mouthful to say. It's like a tongue twister. It communicates the message that something is bad or something is wrong with keeping or eating candy, and when kids aren't allowed to keep their candy stash, it does project that subtle message that something is wrong with having a bag of candy or eating candy in general. And we want to remember that our children, developmentally, are very literal thinkers, so when they pick up on the message that too much candy is bad or that they can't be trusted with their candy, they might come to believe that they are bad. There's something inherently wrong with them for wanting to eat or have candy. So this is where I think language is so important, especially around Halloween and when we're having experiences with this high volume of sweets or candy. What is our language and messaging that we're having around these experiences? Are we saying things like too much candy is bad for you, so we really need to leave some for the SwitchWitch? That is something that's more direct. That can potentially backfire, as our children can interpret that message very literally. So that's something to consider.

Speaker 0: 10:18

Another potential issue here is that it can build resentment towards caregivers, and this can be a tricky one, because at the heart of it, we want to be building trust with our children around food. This is a crucial component of our children feeling that secure attachment with us as we raise them, and we want to build a trusting feeding relationship with our children in order for them to be able to learn how to trust themselves. This is a really crucial part of the feeding interactions that we're having with our kids, and when we're making this bait switch with our candy, this can sometimes be a huge trigger for some children, depending on their temperament, depending on their relationship with their parents, and sometimes, when kids figure out that their parents are the ones behind the candy-swapping fiasco, it can often create distrust in their caregivers around food. And one example that I wanted to share that came to mind when I was thinking about this was if you've ever seen the Jimmy Kimmel YouTube pranks that he usually does every year around Halloween, where he has parents tell their children that overnight after trick-or-treating, that they ate all their kids' Halloween candy. So in the morning, their kids are coming downstairs for breakfast or whatever it is, they're looking for their candy and their parents are pranking them and telling them you know what I ate all your Halloween candy. I got hungry last night and I just wanted to eat it and I couldn't stop myself and I ended up eating the whole thing. And then the parents are recording their kids' reactions and sending those clips in to Jimmy Kimmel and he shares them on his show and if you've ever watched it and seen these kids' reactions it's intense.

Speaker 0: 12:06

But some of these kids get so angry that there's very volatile reactions that are happening and I do think that part of that is the manipulation, but I also think part of it is that the child didn't feel like they were part of that decision, that they worked so hard for this candy trick-or-treating all night and now it's gone. But there's also this pull to wanting what we know that we have. It's like I know that I had this huge tub of candy and now it's not there and that can create a lot of distrust around food, but predominantly with the caregiver that's involved with it, and we want to consider those implications. Now with the Switch Witch it might not feel as intense because it feels like your child is involved in that process, or they might be relinquishing it with permission or they might be excited about leaving that candy for whatever toy the Switch Witch might leave them. The tendency is that there's buyers remorse, even though your child might seem like they're on board once. The excitement around what the Switch Witch has left them has dissipated, they may still be longing for the candy that they had, and knowing that it's gone can start to build some resentment towards caregivers and parents. We want to be considerate of that and also, again, just think about the big picture. We want our children to build trust with us as their parents, as their caregivers, who are providing them with food and access to their preferred foods, and if they feel like we are manipulating them somehow when it comes to having access and recognizing that, oh, my parents or caregiver is the gatekeeper of me having access to this thing that I really want, it can build up a lot of anger and resentment.

Speaker 0: 13:51

Another big thing here is that it can really put candy on a pedestal. Halloween candy is already somewhat of a novelty, right? Because it's not something that kids are used to getting all the time, at least in the quantity that they get on Halloween. Now, ideally, hopefully, your child is getting exposure to sweets on a year-round basis, but there's always going to be those different specialty items that they get on holidays and again, the quantity that they're receiving in one go is a novelty in itself. And when they don't get the chance to fully explore it and learn how to manage it. It can actually elevate it on a pedestal for them, making it even more enticing and exciting. And it's not to say that there's something wrong about candy being exciting or fun or something that your kids are looking forward to, but we don't want it to feel like it's something that's out of reach, which now can create a different problem of obsessiveness or preoccupation around sweets or candy forming.

Speaker 0: 14:50

So an example to kind of illustrate this is if you think about letting your child play or introducing a really cool or exciting toy that they've never played with before. And when I think about this, this always makes me think of my kids. Whenever we go and visit their cousins, they're always so stoked to play with their cousin's toys, even though a lot of their cousin's toys are similar to things that they have at home. It's the novelty of something new, of something different, that is ramping up that excitement and that desire to want to play with them. And if you can imagine introducing a toy or something new to your child, a new toy that they've never played with before, and you let them go at it for a few minutes and then you took it away, your child would likely be an understandably so obsessed about finding that toy, figuring out where you put it, asking you incessantly about it. Those are characteristics that typically happen when we introduce something novel but then restrict access to it. And this is no different than with candy and sweets, and oftentimes there's an initial allowance of okay, you can have this bag of candy, but then I need to take over it and I'm going to micromanage it, and that can feel really restrictive and obsessiveness is often a symptom of a child feeling restricted, and so this can be a side effect of approaching your child's Halloween candy via the switch, which route is that you're allowing your child to temporarily have access, but then it's taken away and there's that residual desire of, oh, I still wanted that or I'm still thinking about that, and that can ramp up some obsessiveness around candy and sweets.

Speaker 0: 16:28

And anytime there is preoccupation or obsessiveness with food or sweets in particular, this can cause all different kinds of behaviors. So, for example, something that we might see if your child is starting to become obsessive with candy is this risk of food sneaking. So when candy is not made accessible or when kids know it might be hidden away somewhere, they're more likely to develop those food sneaking behaviors and often that's coming from this feeling of deprivation. So when a child feels like there's not this unconditional permission from their caregivers to eat the things that they're excited about having, especially if they're getting exposure to them, whether around holidays or at school or around friends this can lead to seeking out those foods in secret, hoarding, hiding, sneaking all the things. That can start to create some more issues around food. And, of course, when a child's primary motive is to seek out food or find sweets or candy, it's distracting them from being a child and engaging in the things that children should be doing, and this is something that can overall, especially over the long term, be very detrimental to their overall health and wellness, which is why it's really important again to keep the big picture in mind, especially when it comes to sweets.

Speaker 0: 17:46

And, in summary, I would say this is perhaps maybe the biggest overall consequence, maybe with the switch which approach, is that it doesn't allow kids to learn how to self regulate. And, like I said, we live in a world where all of these different foods exist and if our kids aren't given the chance to learn how to eat a variety of foods, including candy, they won't learn how to self regulate an amount that feels best for their bodies. And this is where it gets really challenging for us as parents, because we tend to approach food with our children in a manner of what makes us feel better. So oftentimes it can feel distressing to watch your child dig through an entire bag of candy and pull out several pieces or eat several pieces, and you might find that that feels distressing and there's things coming up for you and now you want to try to take control, and often that comes with micromanaging and it's really difficult to micromanage without causing your child to feel restricted and that is going to lead to a separation from innate intuitive eating abilities.

Speaker 0: 18:53

If your child is constantly concerned or worried that they're not able to access the foods that they enjoy, then they're more likely to always eat those foods whenever they're available, simply for fear of not knowing when the next time is that they'll be available to them. So it's like kids develop that kind of faux mentality around sweets, where whenever they're there, they're likely to eat them and start to potentially overeat them because they've never had opportunities to learn how to self regulate, but also if they can't trust that those foods are regularly available and part of their routine with food. It just makes them more desirable when they are presented to them. So, considering all of these different potential ways that the switch which might backfire, what can you do instead, especially if you are wanting your children to learn how to self regulate sweets and just have an overall positive relationship with food and just to make memories around the holidays that aren't associated with stress around food or engaging in power struggles, especially with sweets, like all of those things, can just dampen the holidays and the joy that we should be having with our kids around food and make it less about being able to connect with them and actually enjoy them, because we're constantly worried about what they're eating, how much they're eating, and you don't have to be the food, please, during the holidays, especially when there are more sweets around. You can learn how to trust your children and also give them the opportunities they need to be able to feel what feels best in their bodies.

Speaker 0: 20:26

So if you're not doing this switch, which? What approach can you take? I would say step one is legalize candy in your home. You want to let your children feel that permission to eat their candy and enjoy it without a sideserve of guilt or shame. This can be easier said than done, especially if you have had a difficult relationship with food, or sweets in particular. I know I've heard from many parents that it's triggering or can feel distressing to let your child have that volume or that amount of sweets in your home, because maybe you're not allowing yourself to eat sweets and maybe you feel like I don't have enough control or I won't be able to stop myself from eating these things and some of those fears can become projected onto your child and I just want you to be able to recognize that and just have compassion for yourself through this, because so often we want to do things for our children that we haven't done for ourselves and it can be difficult to show up for them in these ways when we're still learning how to do these things for ourselves.

Speaker 0: 21:25

So if you find it difficult to give yourself permission to eat things that you like and enjoy, like sweets, or if sweets have always felt like a demonized part of your life, it can be challenging to promote this message that you trust your child to eat or that you're giving them full permission. However, by letting go of some of the rules or stipulations around sweets, that can start to help you take steps towards that, so that can be a great place to start. That can look like allowing your child to have sweets or pieces of their Halloween candy, frequently with meals and snacks, letting them pick out what they want, allowing it to be part of their meals without any stipulations attached, so not requiring that they eat certain amounts of food or try bites of certain things before they're allowed to eat their sweets. These are all ways that you can start to normalize sweets and legalize them in your home so that there's not a power attached to them. And certainly, by just allowing your child to keep their candy sends a very important message to them that you trust them. You're allowing them the experiences that they need to figure it out to eat them. You're not trying to get rid of them or somehow manipulate how many pieces they have. All of these ways of approaching candy do communicate the message to your child that you trust them and that you are learning to give them the full permission they need to eat them and explore what feels good in their body and what doesn't.

Speaker 0: 22:51

And if you are interested in a more specific step-by-step game plan with Halloween candy, I would love to help support you with this. I know sometimes, when you're letting go of old habits or old behaviors or approaches around food and you're wanting to do something different for your children, sometimes it can be hard to know where to start. Or now, what do I do? If you're letting go of the switchwich and you want your kids to be able to keep their candy, that can also feel stressful and overwhelming, and so I would love to help you through this. I'm actually hosting a free workshop here at the end of the month on how to rewrite the script on Halloween sweets to help your kids self-regulate sugar, and I will be walking you through a step-by-step game plan to help you, from the day of trigger treating to the day's following on what you can do to support your child in a way that does offer some flexible structure and boundaries but ultimately helps them be able to learn how to self-regulate a higher influx and volume of sweets. I will put a link to that workshop in the show notes for you and would love for you to sign up and snag a seat so that we can walk through this together.

Speaker 0: 23:57

Lastly, I just want to close on some variations or modifications to the switchwich that you can take if this is something that you still want to utilize in some shape or form. I've seen many different variations of this, and the key here is to understand first. What is your agenda? What is your motive behind implementing this approach to food or sweets in your home? If there is any aspect of your motive that has to do with limiting how much candy your child eats, then it may be worth rethinking your strategy, and it takes a lot of self-awareness to be able to own that. So kudos, mama, if you're finding yourself in that space, I also just want to encourage you to do what's best for your family. Every family is different and it's important to do what works for your family.

Speaker 0: 24:43

I know that for some families, especially if you have a child that has food allergies, that sometimes the switchwich is a way to help your child be able to relinquish some of the candies that they might be getting over Halloween that are unsafe for their body. And I know that just having a child with food allergies can present so many challenges, especially around the holidays, and having something like the switchwich can be helpful in these situations. Obviously, you're doing that to keep your child safe, to protect them from foods that can trigger an allergic reaction in their body. I've also seen situations where maybe your child just has excess candy and they're just not into it, and this is where you can perhaps tell your child okay, once you're done with your candy, you've taken all the things that you've wanted. If there's any extra candy that you don't want, you can leave that out for the switchwich and she can leave you some kind of present or toy in exchange for that. I think the key is to really follow your child's lead in those situations and see how they respond to that.

Speaker 0: 25:44

Ultimately, you want to think about approaching it in a way that involves your child rather than doing something behind their backs that they're unaware of or that can come across as manipulative. So, as an example, at my kid's school they do collect extra candy or unwanted candy over the course of a couple of weeks after Halloween to ship to troops overseas, and this is a cause that I can definitely get behind to help spread a little holiday fun and love to our military. And most of the times my kids don't really ever eat their entire stash of Halloween candy. They maybe get through about half of it, if even and we often tend to have a lot of extra candy lying around the house, but I do try to have a conversation with them about whether or not they'd like to keep their extra candy and if they'd like to donate extras to other people. I also sometimes just buy extra bags of candy for them to take to school and donate, so it doesn't put that pressure on them to have to relinquish any part of their stash if they're not ready to do so, and we like to make them a part of that conversation and ultimately allow them to be the ones to make the decision so that it doesn't feel like something that they were tricked into or pressured into doing and that tends to go over much better.

Speaker 0: 27:01

I've also seen variations where the switchwich might leave, instead of a toy, other edible candies or sweets that may work better for your child. So, for example, if you have a younger child and you want to avoid any candies or sweets that could potentially be a choking hazard, you can utilize a switch which, in that way where you're swapping out some of those candies but you're substituting them essentially for other things that can be safer for them. And the same approach can also be used for a child that has food allergies, where you're helping them swap out any candies that could potentially be unsafe for things that are safe for them. So, as you can see, there are many variations and ways to approach this, and I just want to encourage you to do what works best for your family, and I also just want you to be armed with the information around the potential impact of some of the different approaches that are out there that we may take when it comes to how we feed our kids, so that you can feel informed about whatever route you choose to go.

Speaker 0: 28:03

I hope this was helpful for you. I would love to hear from you if you've ever utilized this approach. If you have found different ways of integrating it in your home, definitely feel free to reach out hello at crystalcargiscom. I'm always eager to hear from you and to learn about how I can better support you. And just a friendly reminder that we will have a free live workshop all about Halloween candy and helping support you and coming up with a great game plan that can give you that step-by-step approach to hopefully take out some of that stress and angst that can commonly come up around kids and Halloween candy. So the link to that class is in the show notes for you. Definitely snag your seat and I hope to see you in there. Thank you, as always, for joining me, and I can't wait to connect with you again next week.