Eyewitness to Therapy Episode 4: Managing Stress

Presenting Problem: 
My guest, Tom, reports high levels of stress and is seeking to manage it effectively.

Mood and Affect: 
Tom’s mood appeared to be tense and distressed as evidenced by his one-word description of his current experience: stress.

Summary of Session: 
Tom identified his current emotional state as being under significant stress. He expressed a desire to gain practical tools from our session to help manage this stress. Specifically, he is interested in tools that can be easily implemented and form part of a sustainable daily practice, lasting around five to ten minutes. We explored his stress to understand its origin and impact more fully.

Conclusion of Session:
Tom provided positive feedback at the end of the session indicating that he found the session helpful in identifying key aspects contributing to his stress, particularly related to future anticipation. Tom appreciated the introduction to the idea of observing emotions through meditation and using affirmations as an anchoring tool. He felt that the session was efficient, not taking up an excessive amount of time, which was in alignment with his initial expectations and desires. Tom expressed a sense of relief and indicated that he felt better equipped to manage his stress going forward.

Suggestions Going Forward: 
Tom is encouraged to apply the tools and techniques discussed during the session, such as meditation and using affirmations on a daily basis. He could also continue to reflect on any anticipation-related stressors and how these can be managed or reframed more productively.

Therapist Impressions: 
Tom demonstrated a keen understanding of the therapeutic process and tools suggested during the session. He showed an ability to introspect and identify his stressors, which is promising for future therapeutic outcomes.

Recommendations: 
I recommend Tom continue self-reflection on the nature and source of his stress. Additionally, he may benefit from beginning simple mindfulness techniques as a preliminary tool for stress management.

Transcript

Welcome to Eyewitness to Therapy, the one of a kind podcast. That focuses on a real life therapy situation. I'm your host Cort Curtis psychologist and therapist. Passionate about bringing you into an immersive experience of self-awareness through therapy. In each episode, we dive deep into the struggles our guest faces and guide them on a journey of self-discovery and resolution As your dedicated therapist, my purpose is to create a safe space where you can openly share and address your issues.

We'll explore the power of the present moment in resolving your concerns. Knowing that the past is completely over and the future is never yet, the key to healing lies in awareness, in being witness to your consciousness, and that's precisely what we'll uncover together in every episode of Eyewitness to Therapy.

So join us as we navigate the transformative power of therapy and self-awareness. Welcome to another episode of Eyewitness to Therapy. Every individual that I interview in this podcast has volunteered to participate in a one-time therapy session, and so I'm happy to welcome a new guest today. This is the first time we have ever met, so I know virtually nothing about this person other than from a very brief questionnaire that they filled out prior to this meeting.

Every guest's identity is anonymous. All therapy is centered around the guests issues and goals. Whatever they bring forth into the session becomes the focus of our conversation, and my goal is to be helpful in the best way I can. Gestalt therapy is all about living in the moment, and that is exactly where we start each session.

I ask my guest to take a moment. And allow a word or short phrase to bubble up in consciousness that simply names their here-and-now experience. And then I have them expound on that word, what that word says of them, about them, or about anything. And then I ask that they declare an intention for the session.

An intention to be anything such as what they hope to gain from the session or want help with. Declaring an intention from the outset helps frame our conversation and also serves to create a purpose and goal for our session. And then lastly, we end each session the way we begin with just a word that names their here-and-now experience as we come to the close of our conversation as well as a few words about how they feel about our session.

Is there a takeaway, an insight or realization that they gained from our meeting together? I. That's the question. So come along with us as we step into this journey of exploration, where the conversation goes, nobody knows, but that's also the excitement of therapy, a step into the unknown of possibilities.

So without further ado, let's welcome our new guest. So good morning. Morning and welcome to our meeting today. Thanks. Hey. Just to play a little foundation for our conversation today as well. First of all, this is the first time we've met. I don't know really anything about you except the little bit that you shared in the questionnaire, and you don't know much about me unless you've done a little research on your own kind of thing.

What is our purpose here today? My purpose is to be open to you and to hear you and be helpful to you in any way that I can. And so I assume you have something that you're bringing to the conversation that you might wanna focus on.

So, uh, well, okay. So this is the way we actually start each meeting, or the way that I start each meeting is actually with just one word. If you could put one word is like a little technique kind of thing. If you could put one word to what you're experiencing right here and now, just coming into our meeting.

What word might that be? Stress. Stress. Okay. Stress. All right. Okay. So let's pin that just for a moment so we can come back to that stress. So the other question to, to reflect on is what do I hope to gain out of our meeting today? And that kind of creates an intention for our conversation. So that could be what do I hope to gain out of our meeting?

What do I want help with out of our meeting? Right? What difference would I hope our meeting will make, kind of thing. So take a moment to reflect on that question and look and see what shows up for you. I think I, I want tools that I can implement easily and that are like a sustainable practice, something that's, Maybe five to 10 minutes that I can do every day that's gonna help, gonna manage some of that stress.

Okay. All right. I hear you. Okay. So the word is stress, and then you're asking for wanting some kind of tools or tools to mm-hmm. Somehow manage that stress. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Very good. Okay, so the next step is to feel. To feel free to expound on this word, stress, whatever this word says of you, or about you or about anything.

Mm-hmm. Starting with, with a word brings you into your presence and essence, and so there's a lot underneath that word in terms of what that word is about. So feel free to express whatever you'd like to in terms of Yeah. What this word is saying of you, about you or about anything. Sure. For me in. In recent years, I've, I just, it, not really recent years, but just kinda my whole life, I can let things really just stack up internally and I just, it's this kind of term like redlining where I just feel like I'm just like the pedals to the floor and I'm just going your as max capacity, and I have zero margin.

And so it's just so every little. Just the littlest thing can push me over the edge, which doesn't make a ton of sense and I'm aware of that at ti at times, but usually it takes me towards the end of that kind of cycle. And then I'll just have either a moment where, I get really irritated that the guy cutting me off and I'm like, this is not a big deal.

And then I'm like, oh, I'm like completely in back capacity. And so this stress, I've not been doing a good job of recognizing the things that are causing stress or just, it's not even, it's, it really is just a recognition thing. Cause I think at the times in my life when I've been able to just. Pause and be like, what?

Why am I feeling this way? And then I'm able to look back at my day and say, okay, I've been running nonstop and then this thing happened and this, this situation happened with my kid and it's all of a sudden it provides some context for why I'm feeling like overwhelmed or stressed. And it even just acknowledging is I'm able to like, it's always give myself like, okay, like it makes sense that you feel that way, just like a validation.

The problem is, is I just don't, I'm not very good at doing so. It's just you're not very, you're not very good at doing that. You say, I'm not very good at taking the time to do that, even though I taking the time to do that, and so it's like I, it feels like I'm just bouncing from thing to thing thing.

Never really balling to, to either do that process or even have another process that maybe is more effective than that. So pause to what, for example, what? In other words, I don't know how, I don't know how to pause. Yeah. I think just create, I think, like I said earlier, it's just creating, I don't know if it's a habit or a tool to just carve out some time to.

Reflect on what is happening in my life. I see. Okay. It's this frantic pace. Okay. I agree. Going, going, going, going, and then all of a sudden I'm getting really ticked off with the guy that cut me off on the highway. Yeah. Oh, for me, that's like a moment of, oh, I'm not managing this well. Like I need to go back and like, okay, I need to do some things to, to Okay.

Sort this out. So I guess I'm hearing it to learning to take a pause. Yeah. I mean without just, it sounds like you eventually take a pause mm-hmm. More towards the end of the cycle. I'd like to be able to do that earlier or earlier. Yeah. So that I basically, I just want to create. Mm-hmm. I think just more, when I say margin, just more room to absorb the different ups and downs of life is you just gonna better, inevitable they're gonna happen.

And when you create room, I just feel like you're able to deal with that way more effectively. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. That's what I want to grow at and get better. Okay. Okay. That's the tools you're asking for is like, what are the tools for that? Mm-hmm. So it, it sounds like maybe you know what to do, let's say, but maybe you just don't do it.

Yeah, some And that, I mean, to boil it down, it's, yeah, sometimes that's as simple as that. I just, yeah. Alright. Or maybe there's something like that, but another tool that's more, that would be easier to implement than that one. Right. Okay. So am I hearing that? Okay, so you, I guess the phrase that comes up for me is you live your life pedal to the metal.

Yeah, essentially kind of that goes, yeah, it's just you have, you have, I have four kids and a couple of 'em have some medical issues, and so that adds extra stuff on top of it. And so it's just trying to manage just regular every, every family has to manage schedules and things like that, and then we have stuff on top of that, and so then it's just trying to.

Yeah. And I kinda like lot, lots of things to juggle. Yeah. Mm-hmm. In your life. Yeah. The lots of demands. Yes. Sure. Okay. Yeah, I hear that. So you're what, like in constant motion? Yeah. In a way kind of deal. Dealing with this, dealing with that, fix this. Yep. Just that. And then go to the next thing. I'm curious like just how many things are.

You're saying relationship with your children and then Yeah. What, what else in your life calls your attention or demands your attention, let's say, on a ongoing basis? Sure. Yeah. So I was, I'm married and trying to manage that relationship and make it a priority because the. When we had, or one of our kids was born with a medical issue, one of the things, I don't remember where we heard it, but like the divorce rate is like astronomical.

For a family that has like a kid with complex medical issues, it's like over 80%. And so it was just like really wanting to not let our marriage deteriorate because we were basically just trying to manage this thing all the time. That's a huge priority to me. And it's, it's not a burden, but it, it's just, I want to carve out time that I need to make, I want to connect and I want all the things that you do to cultivate a relationship.

And that would be one thing. In other words, to connect, not just about your relationship with your child kind of thing. No, just me and my wife have our own relationship. Relationship, yeah. Connect there so that're together. Okay. I hear you. And then I have four, four kids when they're 15, 13, 11, 9, you know, two boys, two girls.

And so it's like they're all different people and I want to show up for them is, is each kid in whatever that, and then whatever way I can. And like my oldest is very similar to me, and so it's easy for us to connect and carve out time to do things. My other son, we are completely opposite and so I have to make different efforts.

And it's way more work for me, which is okay. That's just part of being a parent. It's just different. I see all the, the kind of the weight of wanting to manage each of those relationships well. So that would be another dynamic. And then, yeah, working and trying to manage my work schedule, excuse. And then, you know, and then there is just the medical component with the, with two of the kids where it's just managing all their therapies and appointments and surgeries and things like that.

And then there's other things like friendships and time for myself to try and be healthy and I try to exercise every day. And so those are just some of the, those kinds of things. And then you have the past things where it's like, no, I have. Our kids have been like through 40 surgeries in my, and since they've been alive, collectively.

And so you're dealing with all of the, the, I would call it trauma, P T S D, of all those situations from the past that have their certain things will trigger that now, where I'm just like, oh, I wasn't expecting to deal with this emotion from 10 years ago. And I'm like, but here it is. And then the future.

It's like my kids, it's very real possibility that two of my kids out, I will out, I will outlive them. Like their life expectancy isn't really long. So it's like balancing, like being content, being present now, trying to plan for the future financially and otherwise we're different for, for my wife and I as we retirement.

So it's, and it's just like trying to balance all that stuff out and. I can't control most of it. It's most, that's the reality. There is some things I can control, but a lot of things are out of my control. I could literally sit in this chair and worry about a thousand different scenarios that might potentially happen, but it's not gonna help me.

And so for me though, I try to control things. So I try to like, I. I fill out of control. So I'll clean the kitchen because I can control that, or we need some extra money, so I'll go pick up a side hustle to make, to control that. And so it's just, and then I just, I think, hold on really tightly to try to control the things that I can control.

Um, but then all this other stuff is weighing on me, and then I just am like, then I just, it starts building and building and building. And then I have my arm. I'm not doing all right. I mean, like I said, I do have some tools that I've learned from previous to like what's the, what? What's the main tool you've learned, you learned?

Exercise is a huge tool for me for exercise. Okay. Okay. And I still, I lean heavily into that for a lot of years. Okay. And I still do that very consistently, but I. It's not doing it like it used to for me. Like it's still good, but it's not, it's, I need to develop, I need to develop more, more in, in the toolbox, I guess.

Mm-hmm. You could say. Mm-hmm. Like just things, because different seasons and stuff, it's like, like I'm about to go into a season where one of my kids is having a surgery and we're gonna be in the hospital for 10 days at Kinex. I can exercise, per se in the hospital, but realistically, like. It'd be great if I had some other tools that I could do that are quick and easy in the moment when I can't go out for a run or go lift weights or play bath or whatever.

Like that's not gonna happen this next week. Right. Happen. Okay. So going back, I think you've said it already, so given all of what you just shared, would you say your stress is understandable? Absolutely understandable. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, so you got a lot of demands there. I, I hear you. So, mm-hmm.

And okay. And, but you're also looking for tools too. How can I learn to manage that stress? And it sounds like you said it, maybe it's a learning to take a pause, but find. And, Ooh. Have you ever meditated or anything like that? Yeah, it's, I've tried. You've tried? Okay. But not practiced it or sustained it for any length of time?

No. Okay. All right. What is meditation, by the way? Well, uh, what, what's your picture, image of meditation, what that even means? Sure. I think for me, when I think of meditation, it's. Being alone? Quiet, like just quieting in my mind and body. Okay. Being alone. Okay. Yeah. Usually involves some kind of breathing practice.

Okay. You mean consciously breathing? Yeah. Or being aware of your breathing. Yes. Being aware of your breathing Uhhuh. Okay. I've done, like box breathing is one thing that I've tried. Oh, okay. Tell me, you know, I, I've heard that term. How do you define box breathing? So you know a certain amount of, I don't know, ten second.

Inhale. Hold for 10. Exhale for 10. Hold for 10. Know almost like four. Okay. So. Okay. Maybe not 10 seconds. However long you've, yeah, yeah. All right. Okay. Okay. I hear that. Okay. All right. So, so you've practiced that. I've done that. I've done that at times. At times, yeah. I, I think the thing that meditation for me is like, it's this part, there's this thing in me that's.

Like movement is action and action is like a solution. So it's like exercise feels very tangible to me because it's like I'm moving my body and I'm doing something and it's accomp it. It feels very like I'm accomplishing something. Yes, I hear you. There's tangible, almost tangible results that I can see.

Like medi meditation doesn't feel like you're accomplishing anything. Yeah, it's. So it's like I'm trying to abide my time for 10 minutes. Right? This is specific. Okay. Alright. Consider that. What is meditation? Basically it's a learning to turn your attention inward. Mm-hmm. And be to get into observation of your inner state.

Just learning, it's a learning to be with, cuz you experience something inwardly that you call stress. Right. There are obvious. Things that are going on in your life that create stress that are stressful, but then what's the experience of stress? How do you feel stress in your body and on your body? Can you describe that experience in your body?

How you feel stress in your body? Sure.

It feels like where in your body do you feel stress? Yeah, it my, my chest and my gut. Chest and gut. Mm-hmm. Can you describe that sensation? I know it's hard to describe, but Yeah. No, it feels like, like a pressure, like a tightness. Just like I do that a lot. Like I, I deep, I like deep exhale a lot of times and I, and it's, it's amazing cuz I'm just like, it does when I do, when I'm like, Like steep size.

I'm like, oh, I can feel my body is so tense and so tight and like I'm holding on to all this stuff. Really? Uhhuh. Uhhuh. Okay. And it's just, I can feel myself when I do that. I need to let all this just go. Hmm. Oh. And I think for me, okay, but you, you say, I've gotta just let all this go. But do you? No, I, I think you don't.

For me, that's where it's hard. Like I could. All this stuff is very real. All this isn't like imaginary scenarios that are, well, the things that you're talking about, that you're dealing with are real. Yeah. It's like that's in your external world. Yeah. But we're talking about how you're dealing with your stress and the feeling of stress.

Yeah. And, and that's, that's what you experience. You experience something in your chest and in your gut. It's a tightness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you, and it's, you can feel it there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Consider that's what there is to pay attention to. Yeah. When you take a pause, is giving yourself permission to just connect into that feeling.

Do you feel any of that stress right now as we're speaking at all? Yeah, for sure. You do feel okay so you can feel it? Mm-hmm. Would you be willing to try a little exercise right here? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So take a moment, just close your eyes and turn your attention inward. Take a moment to connect into your physical existence.

Just let your awareness go to a certain part of your body where you might experience something, a tension or a tightness perhaps in the area that you just described. And take a moment now to. Connect into that experience where you feel it, and take a moment to notice the dimensions of it. See if you can outline that experience in your mind's eye.

Maybe even notice what color are these feelings? Is it, what color maybe? Does it even have a weight? Oh, heavy with the feeling. You simply notice what you notice, observing the sensation of these feelings. Whatever you notice there. And then take a moment to simply notice and see if you could follow your breathing for a few moments here without trying to change your breathing or do anything different.

Go ahead and see if you can simply follow the natural flow of your breathing. Feel your chest and abdomen expand and try. Follow it. Then take a moment to notice the beating of your heart inside your chest, allowing yourself to simply feel your heart, perhaps bringing some kind of appreciation to the heart, the amazing organ that this organ is always beating.

And then see if you can notice the gentle flow of the air as it moves through your nostrils. As you naturally breathe, noticing that breath is breathing you, you don't have to try and breathe. And now take a moment to just notice any activity of the mind right now. Any thoughts you may be playing. On the private stage of your mind, any images perhaps this morning or yesterday?

Just notice, observe, see if you can observe the activity of the mind. Almost like watching a parade of thoughts coming and going. I didn't notice any pictures or images of the future. Perhaps what you plan to do after this conversation or for the rest of your day. Take a moment to just simply picture those images.

Great. Okay. Good. All right. So when you feel ready, just allow your eyes to open and come back here. Just take a moment to simply notice whatever you're experiencing in this moment. I, I, I missed it. Say again? I said I'm back. You're back. Yeah. You're back. Yeah. Okay. So what did shop pants look and see? What am I ex, what am I experiencing in this moment, in this instant?

Can you describe what you're experiencing in this moment? Um, I do feel a little better. Just, I think just taking the, a pause, but I also like towards the end of the, that little kind of meditation time or whatever f I noticed, like thinking about the future immediately, just all the stress just starts.

Like I can feel it like three minutes. So it was like this interesting process of. We talked about the color of how the color, and it was like immediately it was like this black, heavy kind of weight in my chest. And um, and then you transitioned into the breathing, like noticing your breast and it was just like, I don't know.

As I was doing that, it was almost like that black, it was. It was a solid state. And then as I was focusing on breathing, that black kind of turned into like almost like fogged. And then it was just like I was always breathing in and out. I just felt like I was like flaring that out and I started to see a little bit like, oh, okay, which is, which I know can happen cuz I've experienced that as, but then when we got to the added, it was like, you're in your mind, you're in your mind and you're thinking about.

Yesterday and I had good, I was thinking about the good things that happened yesterday with my kids and then, and then we switched to thinking about the future and it was immediately, I could just feel like the to-do list, just like piling back on me. And that was just like, oh, I feel like stressed again.

I feel all that weight. It was not Strat, it was like the, I feel the weight come back. Thinking about, and it's not even a particular, like a particular thing on the to-do listing. It's just like all the things that just started piloting that like I have to do, needs to do whatever. So that was the whole process.

Okay. Very good. Okay. Consider that your stress is a function of living in the future. In other words, yeah, all the things that you're picturing. Yourself doing later on. Or not actually occurring. Yeah. But when you imagine it, then you'll feel like, oh my God, I've got all this stuff to do, kinda thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. So you occupy your mind with the future, with pictures of the future. Yeah. And so when you flow into your future, you're carrying these thoughts that consider. Impede you in just well being present. Because you'll arrive in your future when you arrive, won't you? Yeah. You'll do what you do when you do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll do what you do. It won't. It's never even, yeah. It's cause it's not. Once I get into the task, it's not that I'm actually feeling stressed when I'm doing the task. Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. More just, yeah, like you're saying, it's the, it's the whatever. There's a mechanism there that it's just, just, I think part of it's, it's, cause I think before I could distinguish between, Worrying about things that potentially might happen, which is I feel like I, I learned to, to not try and do that, to learn, to not try to do that well, to, so like with my kids, there's a million different directions their hell could go.

No. Right. I've gotten good at not going down ro not going down roads of things that are happening. I think the dis this distinguishing thing is thinking about today is like, these are things I know are going to happen. It's, they're not like, they're not like maybes. They're like, oh, these are the things I have to accomplish there that you can anticipate, like for the rest of your day, you can anticipate the things that are gonna happen.

That these things are gonna happen. Exactly. So it's like that somehow. Reframing that, where that letting go of like you're saying, the stress of that. Even though when I'm doing those things, it won't actually be stressful for me cuz I can do them. You're do, you're just doing what you're doing, right? Yeah.

It's not, there's no stress in doing what you're doing is there? Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah. So it's something in, if it's some, some way of viewing the future and the things that I have to get done Yeah. That I feel would be geared to, well, what's another way of viewing the future? You've already said it.

It's just you can't really, you just do it when it gets here. I think maybe could you do that? Just do it when it gets I do. That's what I do. That's what you do anyway. That's what I do it anyway, is to, so how hard is that to just, no, there's like this, it's, this feels like there's some kind of, I don't know, linchpin for me where it's.

I'm like, I'm playing. I have to, there's a certain amount of planning that has to go into the future. Right. You know, let's organize it. You turn it into a half to, yeah, a half to I gotta do this. Yeah. Yeah. It feels very much like I don't have a ton of choice in some of those things. Yeah. But as you do it, you just do it.

Yeah. True. That is true. Yeah. You just do what you do. It's just lucky. So you're talking about is there another way of approaching. What we're calling the future here. Yeah. Like figuring out how to view it differently. Like still totally, like what's a possible way to view it differently? I don't know. So really stuck, honestly.

Okay. Alright. Okay. I, I, okay. So just a real quick thing. What one way is, you know, first of all to see that you're, you know, that you're anticipating the future. When you're anticipating the future. Like right now, you. Got in touch with That's what you're doing. Yeah. Anticipating the future. Yeah. So when you become aware of you're living in your anticipations of the future, that becomes the the grist for learning to let it go.

Yeah. Or at least kind of maybe sometimes reassuring yourself. Then I'll do that when I do it. Yeah. And maybe that's what it is. Just trying to be more aware of that, because that's the thing. It's. I asked myself that, that question this last couple weeks is like, there's always going to be things to do in the future.

Like the to-do list is never going to necessarily end. Like what is mm-hmm. Is my, what is my, let me interrupt, let me interrupt you real quickly here and ask this question. Does it does any other time but now exist? No, it doesn't. So this is it. As you and I are sitting here, this is really the only time that exists, isn't it?

Yeah. Everything that occurred, This morning or yesterday, or 10 years ago is over. Is that true? Yeah. It's all over, isn't it? Everything is over. Is that true? I mean, it is. It still impacts now. O o. Only to the extent that you're hanging onto it. Yeah. But the fact is it's all over. Is that true? And what are you hanging on to?

Memories. Yeah, true. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. To a, yes, to a certain extent. Like consider through. Yeah. This is all over. This is over as we're flowing into the present in the future, isn't it? Yeah. From a literal standpoint, the time that we're in right now is the time we're in right now, ex. Exactly. Yeah.

It's all over, right? Yeah. And the future, the future is never yet, isn't it? Yeah. So it happens. Yeah. Now. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's one of the ideas here is learning to, to bring a now perspective to what you call your past and your future. To bring a now perspective to your past is simply noticing the things that you're remembering.

Yeah. Or stuck on anything. Yeah. And the future is, Bringing in awareness into your pictures or images of the future, cuz it's all an image. Sure. You can picture it. Yeah. It's not occurring. Yeah. What's occurring is my present picturing of it. Right. Okay. So as you, as you get more in touch with that, that becomes the, the object of letting go.

Yeah. No, I think that's a good way near it. Just being aware of it. It's like the first step in actually thinking about it differently way. Yeah. And then we're also talking about pauses too, that I think that's just essential for each and every one of us to learn to do, whether it's for a minute or five minutes or 10 minutes.

Mm-hmm. To simply be where we are. Sitting where we're sitting and closing our eyes and just turning our attention inward into feel our feel, feel the feelings in our body. Yeah, for sure. And just as you did, you ex experiencing the qualities of that experience? Yeah. And just a allowing yourself to be present to it, not trying to do something or change it or anything.

Just it's. A learning to be witness to your inner state Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely can struggle with that though. Just learning, being what it is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I, I hear you. Yeah. Your desire to learn to take pauses. Yeah. Yeah. And in, in the middle of your day, and, uh, in some that just may be a practice, it's a practice to determine Yeah.

To, to do that. Yeah. And to know this is, this is what's nurturing for me. Yeah. In terms of me dealing with all this stress, you're giving at least the same amount of attention to yourself. Then all the attention that you're giving to all these situations that you described. Sure, yeah. That's, yeah. But that's sometimes what stress is.

We continually, you know, deal dealing with the demands of life as we leave ourselves behind kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. And that's a good way to put it. Yeah. Okay. All right. How's that feel to, does that, does that kind of touch on what you're asking for here? No, I think, I think getting, I think that for me and just kinda, what did you say the phrase that you said about the future?

Like a lot of the stress and the anticipation of the future, and I think that was a key phrase for me that's, I've been kicking her around that. Thought, I've been thinking about that for the last couple weeks, and I'm like that, identifying that and gives the key to re meaning. Okay, I'm anticipating the future.

Like I said, it's like a phrase, like I can throw it myself. Like, Hey, you're anticipating the future, and maybe that can be a good thing to remind me to stop. Then just pause and then try to build it in to, you know, my daily. When I'm feeling like that, cuz I've, or the deep sigh usually means the weight of something that I think is, uh, maybe those are some like, just reminders for me to do the pause instead of trying to like, oh, I'm gonna schedule it for Right if we're bed or whatever.

Actually in the moment. Um, using those cues to help me. So you'd like to do a little bit that right now before we close? Sure. Okay. Take a moment. Allow your eyes to close again. Lemme just again, turn your attention inward and take a moment to turn your attention inward on the process of your mind, just on your mind.

And then take a moment to visualize and picture the sequence of actions that you anticipate taking. After the completion of our meeting, just take a moment to picture it. Notice what you anticipate doing immediately after this. Noticing the picture in your mind of that, and then what you'll, what you anticipate doing after that and after that, and then after that, all the way up to the ending of your day.

Picture the sequence of events and actions that you see yourself taking and simply look at and then try this. Call it an affirmation. Speak these words in the private stage of your mind. I'll deal with these things as they come. Okay? And when you feel ready without your eyes to open, come back here.

Could you do that? Yes. Okay. All right. Cool. Yeah, I'd be, you could picture, you could picture your future. I could picture it and then I could feel all that stuff coming. I could feel like the stress. Again, it's so ambiguous. It's not, it's not that the task is too hard or it's not that I know that I can't do it, it's just like the anxiety and the anticipation, which is all the things, and it feels, uh, you know, it just feels like it's just, they're just, it almost feels like chaos.

Like it just flying at me, like I mess this. And then when you were like, just thinking, when you said the affirmation phrase, I was like, that felt very. It's like I could just focus, I can just focus my attention to that statement and feel like, yeah, that feels really true. I can really, I can deal with this when it comes, I know.

I know that I'm capable. I know that I do it every day. And that kind of, I could feel like that stress and anxiety, just like, it was like a buffer for that. So that's helpful. Beautiful. Great. Good. That's really great. Yeah. Yeah. That's the basic, that's the basic practice or I mean, that there's formal meditation Sure.

Like where you learn to sit for maybe 10, 20 minutes or so and, and get into observation of your consciousness. Yeah. That's all you're doing is getting into observation of your consciousness. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, But you can do that on the fly too. Yeah. Just what you're doing right here, you know, on the fly here, giving yourself permission to Yeah, I think that's the other thing for me is being, um, an observer where it's, again, it's because the observer is still some somewhat of an active thing.

Cause you still have to be an observer. It's not like you're passively doing nothing that you're observing. But I can get, oh. I can go on to meditation today. I know this is good for me. I know I should do this. And it's like, no, like that's, it's like, like you're saying, observing is actually the kind of the key that kind of, it actually helping you because you're just, you're not trying to control or dictate or oriented a certain way.

It's just letting the things that come to the surface come to the surface. And that's the whole point. She goes that fence like this. You're com compartmentalizing and stuffing down and not dealing with, so it's like you can't control or manage that and, you know what I mean? Like you can't manipulate that.

It just, it comes up the way it comes up, you know? Beautiful. Beautifully said. Hey, that's really great. Awesome. Okay. Alright. All right. All right, good. Okay, let, okay, so coming to the end of our meeting here, Again, we kinda end, end the meeting a little bit like we began. How, with just a word. Let's say what am I experiencing in this moment, in this instant?

Coming to a close and a few words, just how do I feel about our meeting today? I know we're sharing a little bit already there. Yeah. How do I feel about our meeting? Is there anything that I take away from this conversation at all? Yeah. I feel it was helpful cause I felt like I identified a couple of key things.

Anticipating the future was this thing that is causing some of that stress and anxiety, and then just being an observer through the meditating and then having maybe some kind of affirmation to me as those things come up. So it felt okay, these, it's just, uh, identifying and then giving some tools to help deal with that.

So it makes me feel like, and it's not, and it was easy. It wasn't like it took a ton of time and, and that's exactly what I was looking for. It was just, yeah. So really helped, hopeful. Awesome. Well go forth. Okay. Go forth in, in peace and joy. Thank you.

Thank you for listening to this edition of Eyewitness to Therapy. If you, the listener, desire to be interviewed in a similar fashion as this one, feel free to contact me@courtcurtisyahoo.com. Peace, love, and presence.