Lead Culture with Jenni Catron

215 | Unlocking Leadership Success: 5 Steps to Confidently Being You

• Art of Leadership Network

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What if the key to your leadership success lies in your individuality and unique perspective? This episode is a candid conversation about confidence, a trait that, surprisingly, 79% of women in the workforce reportedly struggle with.  Today Jenni shares insights from a recent webinar for women leaders called, "Comfortable Being Different: How to Show up Confidently When You're the Only Woman in the Room."

This episode is not just for women, but for all leaders who are passionate about nurturing confidence in themselves and fostering it among their team members.

In today's episode, Jenni shares 5 Steps to Confidently Being You, starting with developing a sound understanding of what confidence truly is. We'll explore how to recognize your strengths and leveraging your gifts, talents, experiences, and opportunities and what it means to root your confidence in your values as you own your style.

Webinar Replay Link: click here
Slide Deck: click here

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Leadr - The team at Leadr have created the first ever people development software to help you drive healthy leadership habits. From one-on-one meetings to two-way feedback, to goal setting and more All of the behaviors that we say are so critical to healthy culture. And the best part - Leadr shows you how these efforts tie directly back to employee engagement by measuring engagement within the platform. When disengagement can cost as much as 30% of an employee's annual salary, we can't afford to not invest in our people. Check out Leadr.com to learn how to better engage and grow your team today and measure the results of your efforts. Mention promo JENNI for for 20% off your first year.

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Jenni Catron:

Well, hey, friends, I'm your host, Jenni Catron, and this is the Lead Culture Podcast, where I coach you to lead yourself well so you can lead others better. My team and I at the 4sight Group are committed to building confident leaders, extraordinary teams and thriving cultures. Each week, we'll take a deep dive into a leadership or culture topic that will give you the tools you need to lead with clarity and confidence and build a thriving team. So, speaking of a thriving team, are you registered for Culture Conference? Culture Conference is happening on August 10th and I want to make sure you are registered, your team is registered and every leader you know is registered. Culture Conference is a free digital conference designed to help you build thriving teams, cultivate inspiring workplaces and achieve your mission. You guys, we know that when we have a team that is aligned and working well together, we have more momentum towards our mission, and so that's what we want to help you do at Culture Conference this year. We have a phenomenal lineup of speakers and it is just an absolutely fantastic opportunity for you to learn, to grow and to think more intentionally about your culture. So go to cultureconferenceorg to register for free, and Culture Conference is free to you because of amazing sponsors like our friends at Leader. We all know the practices that drive employee engagement, but sometimes it takes a tool to help you stay consistent in implementing those habits. The team at Leadr have created the first ever people development software to help you drive healthy leadership habits. From one-on-one meetings to two-way feedback, to goal setting and more All of the behaviors that we say are so critical to healthy culture. And the best part Leadr shows you how these efforts tie directly back to employee engagement by measuring engagement within the platform. When disengagement can cost as much as 30% of an employee's annual salary, we can't afford to not invest in our people. Check out Leadr. com that's L-E-A-D-R. com for how you can better engage and grow your team today and measure the results of your efforts. And be sure to mention promo JENNI for for 20% off your first year. That's Leadercom, l-e-a-d-rcom, and JENNI to to get 20% off for your first year.

Jenni Catron:

Okay, friends, so my topic for you today was a little unexpected. Honestly. We had something else planned for the podcast, and then we did this webinar earlier this week, specifically for women leaders, and we were talking about this idea of confidence. In fact, the title of the webinar was being "Comfortable Being Different: How to Show up Confidently When You're the Only Woman in the Room and you guys. We had hundreds of leaders register for this, show up for the webinar, and we've done a ton of follow up.

Jenni Catron:

Maybe a lot of you watched and listened to it, but it just sparked this idea of how valuable and significant this topic of confidence is, like how critical it is for us as leaders to feel confident. And while I was talking specifically to women leaders in the webinar, I thought you know what this topic of confidence really applies to leaders, men or women alike. Being confident in who we are and how we show up is so critical, and so I thought today that I would share a few of the steps that I talked about with the women on that webinar. But I think they apply to men and women in leadership, and so I want to give you a couple of those steps today: Five Steps to Confidently Being You. If you are a woman listening to this, I think one of the stats that got my attention and actually, guys, I think it's important for you to hear this, because I do get questions from a lot of male leaders who are like Jenni how can I support the women on my team better?

Jenni Catron:

Like I actually want them to step into more leadership. I'm always amazed at how much I hear that, and yet how often a woman are reluctant or seem reluctant to engage more opportunities. But here's one really startling stat is that 79% of women lack confidence at work. 79% of women lack confidence at work. So, ladies, I think this is a big topic for us to dig into. But, guys, I think knowing that about the women on your team is helpful, right, because it can just give you some understanding and perspective that they might not show up with the same level of confidence that you do, and there could be.

Jenni Catron:

There are a number of ways that you can help women. There are a myriad of reasons for that. In fact, there are some really smart people trying to figure out why confidence is so much more difficult for women. But I also know and in some of the research that I've read, it's not that men don't have any trouble with confidence. I think we all have trouble with confidence, and so I want to look at a few steps today that can help you show up more confidently as a leader, and so the first one that I think is important kind of like the baseline right is to develop a healthy understanding of confidence.

Jenni Catron:

Like what do we even mean by that word? I think a lot of times we throw around the word confidence, but when I began to think about it and in fact I posed this question in the webinar the other day I said well, what do you think confidence looks like? Like? What does confidence look like to you? Here's some things that we discussed. First we said you know what it is? Calm assurance, right, just being comfortable and confident. There's that confidence word, that calm assurance being comfortable with our thoughts, our ideas, our perspective, comfortable in your own skin, right, like you're not constantly comparing and trying to keep up, but you're just comfortable in your own skin. You're not afraid to use your gifts or your strengths. You know what they are and you're not afraid to use them. So I think that's sometimes what confidence looks like.

Jenni Catron:

I also think it's not overthinking. I think sometimes for leaders, we can get stuck in this rut of overthinking and then it starts to just erode our confidence Like we overthink it, and then you doubt everything. I don't know if anybody else does that, but I certainly do that, and I also said you know what? What does confidence not look like? Right, like what's not confident. Well, honestly, I think arrogance sometimes is perceived as confidence, but actually that's not confidence, like it's overcompensation for not feeling confident a lot of time or holding back. I think when we hold back, we shrink back from just engaging or being a part of something. That that is not demonstrating confidence. And so, what does confidence actually look like? And what do I mean when I say I want to be a confident leader?

Jenni Catron:

I love this quote from Katie Kay and Claire Shipman from their book The Confidence Code. They say that confidence is the purity of action produced by a mind free of doubt. Now, listen to that. There are two really key phrases I love here. Confidence is the purity of action. Purity of action I love that so much. Like there's a purity of action. I hear motive in that. Like, my motive for showing confidently is that purity of action, that motive produced by a mind free of doubt. So I'm not doubting every thought or every decision or every action. There's a purity of action, a good motive, and I'm not riddled with doubt, and so that, to me, is starts to help me understand what does confidence look like I also love.

Jenni Catron:

A number of years ago Shelley Giglio shared this and I'm probably like paraphrasing a little bit of how she said it, but she used these two words together. She said humble confidence. She said I want to have the humility to remember that it's God working through me. Right, so I'm not showing up arrogantly that it's all about me. Like there's a humility that you know what it's all God working through me. What a gift, what a privilege. And yet confident to know that it's God working through me. Like that should produce some confidence of like I need to show up in my role, in my responsibilities, because I'm confident that God has put me here, he's opened the door, he's created the opportunity, and so I need to have that humble confidence, like there's a tension we're managing there right of that humility to say, gosh, I wouldn't be here without God's grace. And wow, I'm here because of God's grace. And obviously we're also doing the work and you know, and learning and growing and developing our competence in order to show up confidently. But I loved just some of those perspectives on having a healthy understanding of confidence and because I think a lot of times we throw things around without really thinking about what they mean.

Jenni Catron:

I've talked to you about this before, about leadership like, what do you believe about leadership? Right, like we can't show up as a good leader if you don't know what you believe about leadership. I think the same thing is true about confidence. What do you believe about confidence? What does healthy confidence look like to you? So I would say, spend a little time there, do a little inventory of that. Secondly, know and own your strengths. One of the ways that we show up confidently is when we know and own our strengths, because what you bring is unique and different, and that's on purpose, right? Like you bring something unique and different simply because of how you're wired. Like there's a uniqueness to who you are. There's no one else like you. We know that, and so there's a uniqueness that you bring, so we need to show up. That should help us show up more confidently. When I know and own my strengths, my gifts, my talents, then I can show up more confidently.

Jenni Catron:

I often ask leaders this question: what if the very reason you're there in the seat you're in right now is for the perspective you bring? What if you're there for the perspective that you bring? You're the only one that can bring the perspective that you have from the experiences that you have, with the gifts that you have, with the skills that you have, and that may be exactly what is needed to serve your team well, like you might bring something very unique and very specific. Ladies, when I did this webinar last week, I talked about how we need to be comfortable being different, because oftentimes we will bring a little bit different perspective, especially for the only female leader at the table. Guys, this might apply to you too. Maybe you're part of an organization where it's mostly women and you're the only dude at the table. Well, you're there seeing a different perspective, you have a different lens on things. And what if that's the very reason you're there? And so know and own your strengths, know and own just that perspective that you bring. Now, we always should have a measure of respect and curiosity for everybody else's perspective, so it's not like we're knowing and owning our strengths and perspective and just going hey, mine's right, but I know that I show up and I bring that and it's unique and it helps bring perspective to the whole discussion decision, whatever situation we might be in.

Jenni Catron:

One of my favorite verses is from Galatians 6, verses 4 and 5. This is the message translation. It says make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you've been given and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself, don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. I love this so much in my book Clout, discover and Unleash your God-Given Influence. I unpack this very specifically about how it shows up for our influence and our leadership.

Jenni Catron:

But I think this careful exploration is really key for us to feel confident, for us to show up. We need to have made this careful exploration of who are we a child of God, created in his image, with very specific gifts and talents, experiences and opportunities that have shaped who you are. I would say, if you've never done it, take an inventory. What are some of your gifts, what are some of your strengths, what are the experiences that you've had so far in your journey, what are some of the opportunities that you've been given? And then the careful exploration of the work you've been given when are you right now, what's the seat that you're in, what's the role, what are the responsibilities? And look at that picture and go, you know what? Nobody else has that same collection of gifts and skills and opportunities, and so make that careful exploration. Know and own your strengths, because when you have an assurance about those things, you're going to be able to engage more confidently. You're coming from a place of understanding of okay, this is who I am, this is what I have to bring, and I can show up more confidently.

Jenni Catron:

With that number three, I would say root your confidence in your values. Root your confidence in your values. I am a deep believer in this. When we're working with teams on organizational culture, we talk about how values are like the guideposts to help us understand who we are and how we work together to achieve our mission. We use that as the starting point for helping build healthy culture. Well, the same is true for you as an individual.

Jenni Catron:

You have values, but have you taken time to really understand them and define them? Values are those convictions or those guiding principles that just undergird how you show up, and so you have to know what matters to you. What are those deep convictions that you hold? Because you're going to operate from them, whether you're conscious of it or not, and the more conscious you are of those values, the more confidently you can lean into them. So for me, healthy leaders in healthy team culture is a deep conviction, right Like. You don't hear an episode where I don't talk about it, and I'm going to show up at any table championing those things, because they're deep convictions that I hold and I want to help other leaders build healthy teams and be healthy leaders themselves. And so my values help answer the who I am statement of that make a careful exploration, and the more clarity I have on what matters to me and why, the more confident I'll be to communicate them or to influence with them.

Jenni Catron:

So, number one develop a healthy understanding of confidence. Number two know and own your strengths. Number three root your confidence in your values. Number four release the need to please. Any fellow people-p leasers listening right now? Release the need to please. We are just innately wired. I think some of you may not be, but I think for a lot of us we just want to. We want to be liked, right. We want to belong, and so sometimes that can cause us to want to please others, but to show up confidently. Sometimes we can't be overly concerned about what others think we need to know, you know. So when we know and own our strengths. When we're rooting that in our values, then we can be a little less now I'm not saying be a jerk, but we can be a little less concerned about how does every? What does everybody think about this?

Jenni Catron:

Leadership is not a popularity contest, and one of the little mantras that I often tell myself is that my job isn't to make people happy, it's to make them better. Now, again, that might sound a little harsh. It's not intended to be harsh. It's intended to help me have the confidence to show up and do the right thing as a leader, because sometimes doing the right thing as a leader means making others a little uncomfortable. And if you think about this for a minute, when you've grown the most in your life, I bet it was because somebody was willing to say something that was a little bit challenging for you. If I think about different leadership moments, for me it was when somebody was willing to push me on something or challenge me on something or give me some feedback that I wasn't terribly happy to hear in the moment, but when I processed it and I thought about it, it absolutely helped shape my perspective and it made me better. And so, leaders, we have to be able and willing to do that. And when we're so, when we release the need to please, we show up more confidently to make the right decisions and do the right thing.

Jenni Catron:

And then, number five, own your style. So you've developed an understanding of confidence. You know and own your strengths. You've rooted that in your values. You've kind of done that values inventory. You've released the need to please and now you own your style. That's the take responsibility part of that Galatians verse where it says take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. It's easy to mimic the style of others, right, it's easy to go well, they're successful. Maybe that's what I should do. But instead we want to know what makes me me, what helps me show up truly congruently with who I am, how I've been wired, how I've been gifted.

Jenni Catron:

This quote from Caroline Miller. She's an author and psychologist. She says confidence comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and working towards goals that come from your own values and needs, goals that aren't determined by society. I love that last phrase goals that aren't determined by society. It comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and working towards goals that come from your own values and needs. So that understanding, that careful exploration of who you are, the work you've been given, and then owning that uniqueness, owning that unique perspective that you have, that unique experience that you have, and being comfortable in that, moving forward confidently in that. So I'm giving you a handful of things to think about.

Jenni Catron:

I'd be really curious what stands out to you, because all of us wrestle with confidence in different ways, so some of these might have applied more to you than others. But I think the more we understand what good, healthy confidence looks like, the more we know and understand our strengths, the more we understand our values and what really guides us, the more we recognize that we don't need to please everybody. We just need to step in and do the right thing. And the more that we own that unique style, I think, the more confidently we show up. Catherine of Siena says be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire. That's the opportunity in front of us, and I think we need confident leaders, confident healthy leaders leading healthy teams, and I hope this perspective today just encourages you and equips you to do that all the better. So, friends, I hope that was helpful. I'd love to hear what resonated.

Jenni Catron:

And ladies, if you're listening to this and you were like gosh, I missed that webinar If you'll just go to the show notes, you can click through. We'll have that obvious in the show notes where you can go get a copy of the webinar where we talk specifically about confidence as it applies to women. Guys, you might wanna check that link and send it on to one of the ladies on your team that you think might value it as well. But, as always, let us know how we can serve and support you better. You can connect with me on Instagram and Facebook at Get4sight, that's G-E-T, the number four, s-i-g-h-t, or I'm just at Jenni Catron, j-e-n-n-i, c-a-t-r-o-n. And if you love this episode, share it with a friend. Let us know what we can do to make this content even better for you. You can email me at podcast at get4sightcom and leave a review. Let us know how we're doing. We would love that so much. And don't forget, make sure you're registered for Culture Conference cultureconference. org. All right, thanks for listening today and I will see you next week.