Gracefully Chaotic: Owning Midlife Like a Boss

Are you feeling restless, stuck, or like you’re questioning everything in midlife? You’re not alone. In this episode, I dive into what a “midlife crisis in women” really looks like—and spoiler alert, it’s not about buying a sports car or trading in your partner for a younger model.  Instead, it’s about navigating the emotional turbulence, unexpected questions, and powerful opportunities that this stage of life can bring.

I share:
 ✨ The common signs of a midlife crisis in women (and why they’re more normal than you think)
 ✨ Why midlife can feel unsettling—but also deeply liberating
 ✨ Practical lifestyle tools to reset, refocus, and rediscover what makes you feel most alive
 ✨ Gentle steps to explore new passions, friendships, and adventures without overwhelming yourself
 ✨ How laughter, awe, and curiosity can transform this stage of life into a powerful new beginning

Whether you’re wondering “Is this all there is?”, craving change, or simply noticing your priorities shifting, this episode will help you reframe midlife not as a crisis, but as an invitation to step into a new, meaningful chapter.

💌 Let’s connect
If you’d like to share your thoughts or your own midlife reinvention story, come find me on Instagram @bethgoodrham

📖 Related blog post: Read the full article here

🎧 Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode—where we’ll keep exploring ways to thrive in midlife with confidence, grace, and humour.

Transcript

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Hi, and welcome to another episode of the podcast. If you listen to my last podcast episode, which was all about creatine, you may remember that I was talking to you about how these podcast episodes are going to be. Easy for me to do so that I actually do them. And what that means is that there won't be music at the start or music at the end, and there won't be any ads. It will just be me talking and then I will disappear. I also said whilst explaining why it was going to be like that, that I would make various mistakes, use the wrong words, use the wrong days of the week. So on and so forth. And having just listened to the first probably five minutes of that one, again, as it was uploading, I realized what I meant, but I'm hoping that you're going to give me the grace just to go. She used that word, but I know what she meant. I think people probably have to do that with me in life quite a lot, and I suspect we do it with others. They might say one thing, but we go. That's okay. I'll, I'll let it ride. She didn't mean that, but I know what she meant. So if we can go with that, that would be really, really helpful, and then they will make more sense to you. Anyway, today I'm going to be talking to you about, for want of a better phrase. Midlife crisis in women. I'm not talking about it in the sense of a typical midlife crisis in men, which might involve a sports car swapping their partner normally for somebody younger and having a complete wardrobe overhaul, but something that is a little bit more internalized than that, and it's something that I've seen lots of women go through and. Definitely struggled with things myself over the last few years, so I thought I'd chat about it today to try and help give you a little bit of an insight and some tools to use that might make things feel a little bit easier for you. And if you are in the middle of one of these midlife crises or turbulent times at the moment, then just know it will get better and. Sometimes it's only when we start to come out the other side of something that we realize that, but just try and hold yourself steady for now. Try and be the lighthouse in the choppy seas and let all the choppiness go on around you. And like I say, just know that things will get better anyhow. If you are a similar age, to me, I'm 55 and suddenly the film, eat, pray, love makes sense. Or you are Googling random things like, shall I travel around the world again or shall I have a tattoo? Not that that's unusual, or something that would seem a little bit outta the ordinary for where you were, say 10 years ago then. You might be experiencing what could be called a midlife crisis in women. And by the way, welcome to the Club. I swear to you, I watched the film Eat, pray, love about 12 years ago, and I thought it was absolutely rubbish. I did not get it at all. It was like nothing had happened in it. Then I watched it a couple of years ago and all crikey, I was just really ready to pack my bags and go off traveling around the world again. More likely a weekend away in Wales with my friends, but it spoke to me on such a different emotional level than it had the first time that I watched it. And that was part of the reason that I thought, Hmm, think something might be happening here. So let's just think about how liberating this midlife crisis can actually be. Although it's difficult, like lots of things in life, they can be super liberating. At the same time, they can shine a spotlight on things that we are maybe not quite content with, we're not quite happy with. We wish we could do differently going forward because obviously we can't rewind. But even the uncertainness and the unsettledness that they cause us can point us in the right direction for moving forward. Now, as with most things that are difficult, it's a combination of things that can come together to create the perfect storm. It can be a mixture of stage of life. Age of life children. If we've got them growing up and leaving home, we might be reflecting on what's gone before and what's ahead of us, witnessing what others around us are going through, whether that's elderly parents or if like me, you've got a husband who's left work. So there's lots of things going on at the same time, which can lead us to feel unsettled. And here are some common signs that I've, identified that might be a clue that something is going on. So you may feel stuck or restless, like you want more, but you don't know what that is. Maybe you've reached that stage in life where you just think. I didn't think I would be here now. I thought I would've achieved more in whatever way, shape, or form that may look. You might be reevaluating your career. Perhaps you're thinking, I'm not on the right path, but is it too late for me to change? Has that time slipped me by? You might be reevaluating relationships. I see that happening a lot as children grow up and. They go off to university or leave home or go to college or whatever it is that they might do. And it might be your identity. I mean, we go through so many different changes, don't we, with our bodies and how we look and how we feel inside. And suddenly when you walk around, I know when I walk around our local area, I see a whole new generation of. Mums with young teenagers out and about, and people having babies. So all the age groups that I used to fit into so nicely, I'm not in that age group anymore, and it's a really, really unsettling feeling. You might have a sudden desire to declutter your house, your schedule, or your life, or all three. Says she who opened a vintage account this summer with a massive desire to just strip my wardrobe right back to as minimal as I can get it. Unfortunately, having left work, my husband has taken up a new hobby of shredding. Not that he's shredding my clothes, but when it comes to going through old files of papers, he is on the ball and getting rid of them. Questioning past choices is something we may do sometimes I think at this. Point in life, we get a little bit more time to ourselves to have a little bit more reflection, to be introspective, which can be good in some ways, but not in others. Might be thinking about future goals and wondering what that's going to look like, and you might be obsessing over little things like your skincare routine or your diet or your exercise. And there's nothing wrong in being super focused on those. I'm focused on all of them, but we can start to get little obsessive traits coming through so if any of those sound familiar. You're not alone, which I think is always really, really reassuring to hear because feeling alone can be so isolating. It is such a horrible place to be. And so perhaps, you know, maybe we're just starting to wake up, maybe. We've actually been asleep for the last 25 or so years, and now we've started to get a little bit of time to ourselves. We're just starting to wake up and perhaps this stage in life is a massive gift for us. For sure. It might be wrapped up in a little chaos and a few existential questions, but let's just sit with that idea for a minute. If after that. If you want to park it and go, no, this is just really uncomfortable and I don't like where I am, that's fine. Or if you just go, do you know what I'm breezing through this stage of life? I think it's absolutely freaking brilliant. Even better, but you might be somewhere in the middle if you're anything like me and go, yeah, the last few years have been a bit tough, but do you know what? I think I'm starting to come out the other side now because I'm feeling better than I did, and as I mentioned earlier, in fairness, I think you only start to see these turbulent times as a gift when you begin to come outta the other side of the fog and the chaos and the disoriented state that we can find ourselves in. But hopefully that. Even that might just offer a little bit of solace to you if you find yourself right in the middle of these unsettled waters right now. Now, now is a good time and a good opportunity to press the reset button and to kind of start from scratch with a whole new plan. You've probably spent decades doing the things that you were supposed to do, and now you get to ask, alright, what do I want to do? But there is a point to note here, which is decision fatigue is real because for the first time in nearly 27 years, my husband and I had three weeks to ourselves earlier in the summer, and could we make a decision on where to go on holiday? Absolutely not. The world was our oyster, but the world was very overwhelming and I think, I can't even remember what we did now, which is even worse, but we did a little trip to Dev and we did a little trip to Wales and we did a lovely trip to Guernsey. So. But you know, we had big plans to go somewhere and do something and we just couldn't figure it out. So I think we were slightly in shock, to be honest.'cause normally we can get our heads around most things, but I think we were so in shock and was like, oh, where is everybody? This is a bit unusual. But when deciding what to do, think back to what you did as a child, what you love doing there's always some great clues there. Or another great clue is looking at what other people are doing. If you're looking at what someone else is doing and you've got a twinge of, I wouldn't say jealousy because that's quite a negative term, but a twinge of slight envy or slight, oh, I wish I could do that. That's a pretty good sign that there's something with inside you that needs exploring a little bit. Look up, look around, see what's on offer, see what others are doing. Decide to try one new thing, maybe for a month for the next year, and then just see where it takes you. I'm thinking about doing that when it comes to exercise, actually.'cause there's so many different forms of exercise that I like, but I can't fit them all in at the same time. So I thought, oh, I could do a different activity for a month, for a year. So I could do rock climbing for a month. There's, line dancing near to us. Might do that for a month. There's another dance class. I might do that for a month. And then the one that I like the most will be the one or two that I carry on with. So that's just my way of approaching life. I love a little 30 day tryout of things.'cause you can do pretty much anything for 30 days unless it was like, you know, run 10 miles a day for 30 days. But then frankly, who would want to do that? Anyway, when things fall apart a little, it can become easier to see what really matters. You might start caring less about what others think, which is really, really freeing. And in the process of putting ourselves back together, we can reprioritize what matters. Mindfulness, being outside, moving our bodies and spending time with friends and family often takes center stage. They're often the things that we come back to, and it seems to become less about material things and more about meaningful experiences. That's where the weight and the important lies, and it's less about acquiring. In fact, it's probably more about getting rid of things that weigh us down so that we can really concentrate on the things that matter the most. Now, if you are going through a little bit of an unsettled stage, now is the perfect time to try the things that you've always dreamed of, whether it's learning a new language. That would never be on the top of my list, but I know for lots of people it is like my husband, he's learning Spanish, starting a side hustle. So if you see people running businesses, happy to talk to you about those. If ever you want to, just let me know whether it's writing a book. I can talk to you about that as well. Riding a motorbike. I do know of women who've done that or just wearing things that you would never dare before, without apology then now is a brilliant, brilliant time to do it. Having looked at the framework of, okay, we might be going through troubled times, but let's try and see this as a bit of a gift as we can and a reset, and this is why it's come about and these are some things that we might start to try. I want to give you a little bit of a roadmap or a a plan to navigate this midlife phase with confidence and with grace if we can. A good laugh along the way.'cause frankly that is super important as well. So here are some tips for embracing your midlife phase, your midlife reinvention, whatever you would like to call it. Let's just have a look at some things that you can try. Test the water, see how you get on. The first thing I think we can do is start to get curious. So instead of panicking, we can start to ask ourself Gentle questions such as what makes me feel most alive right now? Hopefully there's something that sparks an interest, but if not, if everything just feels a bit flat, that's okay. What am I craving more or less of in my life? I think that is a really good question to ask because that actually comes quite easily. So, and the answers can be really different for different people. So some people when they say, what am I craving more of? It might be things like peace, freedom, calm. Less noise in my head, or some people might be craving things like adventure, wild times, breaking out of my shell, doing something different. There's all sorts of answers that might come to the forefront and none of them are right. None of them are wrong. They are just what they are. When was the last time I felt really me? I think that's a great question to ask. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a lot of women out there who just went, I don't even know what me is or who me is. I think that's so true for us when we've been so busy for so many years and you think, well the last time I really thought about this I was well, a assuming you've ever thought about it at all. But if you had the last time, might have been in your early twenties or in your thirties and then years of just whiz by and you've never really thought about it. And again, if you don't know the answer. That's okay. That shows what you are working with. And you know, that's quite joyful in a way. When was the last time I really felt like me? Well, I'm not really sure who I am. Great. Okay. Bring it on. Let's figure it out. So the second thing to do, having asked yourself those questions, which I'll just recap on what makes me feel most alive right now. What am I craving more or less of in life? And when was the last time I felt really me? The next thing is to find your people. It's always easier to go through difficult times if you've got your people by your side. So surround yourself with women or men or kids, whoever who get it, the kind of people who cheer you on when you say you are taking up salsa dancing or cold water swimming. And when you change your mind two weeks later, having your people by your side is really, really important. And then I'd say take small, brave steps. You don't need to pack everything up and exit your current life entirely unless you really want to. You can start really small. Just book the class, write the blog post, go on the solo lunch date. Try the new form of exercise. Anything that feels just like a little bit of a challenge, a little bit scary, slightly outside of your comfort zone, I think is a great place to start.'cause the point is that you want to keep on moving forward. If we go for something that is really scary and really outside of our comfort zone, I dunno about you. I'm only talking about myself here, but I will just freak myself out and never do it again. I'd either never go back to what it was that I was trying. I would be too scared. I would give up, and the aim is just to make yourself a little bit uncomfortable, but not so much that you don't want to continue. Keep doing it. So for example, when I watch my daughter diving and she does platform diving, I look at it and think, I would love to do that, but the thought of going headfirst in the water for me is just too big a leap. So. I'm not actually quite sure where I would start with that. I'd have to go to a diving class for beginners, beginners, beginners, beginners, beginners, and there might be one that exists. Or maybe I'd need to book a couple of lessons, one-to-one with one of the coaches to get me over the first hurdle because there is no way I could keep up with the people who would make an inverted normal progress in a class like that, because I'm just not. In inverted comm. Again, normal. When it comes to diving, I'm absolutely terrified, but there's other things I could go and do when that would be fine. So again, it's knowing your own limits and making sure that you do something which makes you a little bit scared, but not absolutely terrified so that you don't go back. Also, at the same time, build a framework into your life of things that you find supportive. So. Having a structure throughout your day, and this is something I really struggle with when I go on holiday because it's like all my structure disappears. So things like journaling, walking, sound baths, meditating, baking, sourdough, which is a massive pillar for me. They all help to keep the gremlins at bay. Those things that keep us grounded are really important to keep doing. Especially when either we're trying new things or we're just feeling a bit off kilter. They need to be the things that we do religiously every day to settle our soul and keep ourselves on the straight and narrow. Embracing the weird and wonderful is a great thing to do. Trying new things. And laugh about it, life's too short to play it safe all the time. Just go and do it with a friend and then just laugh hysterically about it. One of the best things we did, oh golly, swimming in Wales once, and we didn't have our bikinis with us'cause we didn't know it was gonna be hot enough to swim. So we just stripped down to our Andes, which you know, for 1970s prude girls is oof. That's a bit a bit challenging, especially when somebody might see you and we just found it hysterical. And that's the thing. It doesn't matter whether anyone else finds it hysterical or not, it's about what makes you laugh. It's so important, which brings me onto my next point, which is laugh a lot. I found that midlife to be really weird. There's bits of my body that look like my moms. Or my dad's, but definitely not like mine. When I do a downward dog and I look at my thighs through my legs, it's like a bit of a horror show. There are days when my phone doesn't even recognize my face anymore, let alone me. I've got one child almost the same age that I was when I had her. I've got another one who is doing array levels, which I remember really well, and then our son who's in the middle, he's just graduated. Which is a day I remember really clearly, and he's about to go traveling, which I remember doing as well. So I feel like I'm permanently time traveling to the point that my head is spinning. So when you can send the energy, you might want to read my blog post, and listen to my podcast episode on creatine for this, laugh through it all. It really helps, and it is just so. You know, marveling at the way that things are turning out. Another thing that I think is really important and is so key, and I keep reading about this a lot, is being in awe of things. On a clear night, if you go and stand and look at the moon and the stars, it just puts everything into so much perspective. If you happen to be out walking and come across a waterfall, which is unlikely'cause you would know it was there, but just those amazing things in nature, huge waterfalls, and just the power of them and the sunset and the sunrise, and anything that just makes you feel small and tiny and insignificant is really good in terms of grounding and just looking at the awe and the wonder of the world around us. I think that is so important. And the thing is, midlife isn't the end. I know it sounds really cheesy. The midlife crisis in women doesn't have to be a crisis at all. It's an invitation to reflect, to pivot, to grow, to stop living life on autopilot, to start doing things with purpose and with joy. So maybe this is your permission slip to go ahead and shake things up a bit. Style your hair a crazy color. If you want to, to start the podcast, if you want to, to move your furniture around if you haven't already done that 5,000 times, to reinvent yourself as many times as you like. Not to think you're on a slippery slope downhill, but just to think that you are on the start of an amazing adventure uphill and that probably in the next few years life is going to change and some of it is gonna be a bit pants. But some of it is gonna be freaking amazing, and it's about taking the opportunities where they present themselves to do the things that you've always wanted to do or to continue doing the things that you've already been doing. If that's where you get to and you think, you know, I'm really happy with where I am. I've loved my life. I still love my life, and I want to continue what I'm doing. That's great. But if it's time for a bit of a change up, then think about some of the things that I've said and see if it sparks any ideas or joy or just little thoughts of, hmm, there's an ember there that I think I could do with feeding, and let's just see where it takes us, because midlife might just be the most powerful, exciting thing. That we have experienced for a long time. And do you know what? I think we should go along for the ride with it. I hope you've enjoyed this podcast episode and that it's brought a few things to the forefront for you to think about and to pay attention to some action steps you can take. If you want to come and find me on Instagram, I'm at Beth Goodham. If you wanna send me a message at all, I will link to the blog post, which relates to this podcast episode in the show notes, so you can go and take a look at that if you want, and leave a comment there if you want to. But yeah, I hope you found this really helpful and that you tune in for the next episode because I'll be here. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you again, and I hope you have a fabulous day. You take care. Lots of love, and bye for now.