The Coaching Lab: Health, Wellness & Performance! (Brad Cooper, PhD)

LIVE, UNSCRIPTED Coaching Session from NBC-HWC Coach (Hidden Gem)

• Live Coaching Session - Tami Coaching Susan • Season 3 • Episode 77

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Ever thought it would be intriguing to listen in on a real, live coaching session provided by a nationally board certified (NBC-HWC) health & wellness coach? This is your chance! If you're a coach, the benefit is obvious, providing a way to tap into some new tools and resources for your own coaching (including a live "debrief" after the session). However, even if you've never considered a career in coaching, you'll find this intriguing and a conversation that may open up some new windows of opportunity in your own life!

This is the first of our "Hidden Gem" episodes, an episode that sits outside of our All Time Top 10 List, but has resulted in feedback that makes it clear we needed to bring it back :-)  

Enjoy!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the latest episode of the callus health, wellness, and performance coaching podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Bradford Cooper of the catalyst coaching Institute. And every once in a while, we'd like to uncover a hidden gym for you. You've probably noticed that pretty much every single episode here is evergreen in nature. Meaning it's as valuable today as it was the day it was recorded. Many of you have shared that you're going back to the beginning, you're working way through them, all, which is awesome. Thank you. But now that we're approaching 150 episodes, we thought it might be helpful to occasionally dig back into our vault of amazing guests and features and pull out one that might not be in our current all-time top 10 lists, but one that you might've missed or at least might enjoy hearing a second time. So today's hidden gem takes us all the way back to episode number 39, a coaching session that took place between two NBCH HWC board certified coaches. If you're a coach, you're absolutely certain to pick up some additional tools and resources to add to your toolbox. But even if you've never considered coaching, you're likely to hear your own life, come to the forefront and their conversation and discover some things that you hadn't previously considered and be sure to stick around until after they wrap up. Because what they do is they followed up with a brief discussion about the coaching session itself, what they learned, what they might've done differently. It's a unique peek behind the scenes. He don't don't often get to hear our final MBH WC approved health and wellness coach certification of 2020. Well, it's coming on, but we do have the next opportunity to up it's January 23rd and 24th. We already have several registers who, who were planning ahead and they're already registered. So don't wait too long. If that's a good date for you details available@catalystcoachinginstitutedotcomorcontactusanytimeresultsatcatalystcoachinginstitute.com. And if you haven't checked out the youtube.com/coaching channel, please take a look. We we've been a lot of time and energy into those, and we'd love to hear what you think now. It's time to enjoy a unique opportunity to be a literal fly on the wall while real unscripted coaching session takes place on the latest episode of the catalyst, health, wellness, and performance coaching podcast.

Speaker 2:

Hi Susan, thank you. First of all, for just coming in and just wanted to see what you would like to focus on for today. Thank you, Tammy. Um, you know, really right now I am overwhelmed. Um, there's a lot going on and I feel like my head is spinning a lot of the time and I can't really, um, hunker down on one thing or for a long period of time. Hm. So you're feeling burdened and just kind of like you're in a whirlwind. Yes, absolutely. There's just a lot going on. I mean, being, you know, I'm 47. I have three girls that are two are teenagers, one's 11, but then I'm between that. And then my precious mom and dad and my in-laws who are, you know, their health is failing them and their only other side of the country they are. Okay. Um, and it's just a lot. Um, and, and then also working and taking care of everyone and, you know, it's just, it's hard. Yes.

Speaker 3:

So are you feeling pressure to be near your face

Speaker 2:

Family? That is a very, um, yes, yes I am. I am. And I can't, that's the frustrating piece is that, you know, we moved out here 14 years ago to Colorado and now that you know, my family, my parents, my husband's parents, and then my aunt and uncle, you know, they're getting older and the caregiving I have to do from out here. Right. Which I do, but sometimes it would be nice just to pay there more often and be able to put my hands on them and, you know, be able to help.

Speaker 3:

Yes. So with all of that, so with your family, that's that, that health is failing and your family now, your kids, your husband, where do you kind of find space for your own self?

Speaker 2:

Um, well, I, I play tennis just good. Um, I tried journaling for a little while. Um, so I haven't really found recently the space. I mean, I have space for sure, but it's, it's, um, what it is that I want to put in that space. Yeah. That is, um, most, um, beneficial that helps me to grow and, and, um, and not even grow just to be peaceful. Um, you know, I am very spiritual. Um, and maybe I'm not devoting enough time to that. I just, I don't know, um, where it is. Cause I feel like I'm off

Speaker 3:

Always moving. Yes. When you kind of reflect back on maybe a season where, Oh, this is a time where I felt energized, this is a time where I felt fed and where I felt like not necessarily that I had time for everything, but I felt like I had, um, you know, some claim on time. Do you, do you recall anything that sticks out to you that you were doing in that season?

Speaker 2:

Hmm. I can't think of what States felt like that was like that. Um, you know, I'm thinking, I mean, before children, yeah. I was a teacher, um, and that was very fulfilling. Um, then, you know, having to, when my children were young, I think it was very fulfilling because you could physically, um, fix things and, you know, do things to take care of them. It looked very different than it does now. Um, and maybe that piece, um, was that time period was, was nice. Um, yeah, but okay. But lately it's been kind of chaotic.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Well, and your kids are in a new season, so you, like you said, um, at that time you were kind of the fixer and you were somebody that was a caretaker and they needed you and they depended on you. Right. And so you have these teenagers that are growing into some independency where they don't need as much of that. And so you truly have to kind of let go and step back in. Do you feel like that's difficult for you to, to let that go? Is that, is that what you're mourning a little bit

Speaker 2:

Actually, yes. That's exactly what's happening now that you say that I think is I have, I do have more time and more space and I don't know what to do with myself. I mean, I'm there to help guide them. Um, but part of being a teenager is to figure it out on their, their own and to let them make the mistakes now. Um, so yeah, now that you say that maybe that's what's going on is I'm just like, what do I do? Yeah. And it's not that I ha don't have things to do. I mean, I work and things like that, but it's, it's almost like I need more purpose. Yeah. Hmm. That's good. Um, because I have a lot to give and I love giving, I just need, I just feel like I need more to give, which is such a paradox because I was talking about with caregiving, but now I'm here. I can't physically caregive for my parents. So, um, yeah.

Speaker 3:

So yeah, that's an interesting place to be of kind of going, okay. W what do I do with this new season? It sounds like that's where you are of, okay. My purpose as a mom even is changing my purpose as a daughter and, and relative of these family members is, is a little different. Um, and so how do I, you know, weave that in? And sometimes, you know, I think that we as moms, especially, we kind of like, it's hard for us to know, well, what, what is my role kind of, um, move into if I'm not caretaking them, what am I doing? Um, and so maybe that's some of that. Do you feel like that, um, that purpose, do you, um, does anything come to mind as far as just direction and even maybe learning what that direction is? If that makes sense?

Speaker 2:

Um, yeah. I mean, yes. Um, something that has been on the top of my mind and I've been talking about for a while is, is going back to get my counseling degree. Um, but I, I go back and forth. Like, I, you know, one hand I'm like, if I do that, will I not have enough time to take care of my family? Um, that kind of goes in the back of my mind. But to your point, you said just a few minutes ago, they don't really need me as much as they used to. Um, and they're, they're pretty self-sufficient, I mean, my 11 year old needs me more. Um, but my husband works from home and, and that's been a change to back in may. He started working from home. And so that looks very different from when he used to travel and, you know, he would be gone from eight to six every day. Um, that's been a change too. And so it has freed up even more time for me because he's helping, um, with the children and he's available. Um, so yeah, so a lot of things have changed. Um, and maybe that's, you know, that's kind of interesting that, that I just realized that that a lot of things have changed. And when a few, you know, maybe a year ago I looked at the counseling and I was like, absolutely not. I can't. Cause there was too much going on now. Seems like it's something that I could do and I'm getting closer to, um, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. That's awesome. Well, I feel like that's something you're excited about and really these changes are exciting. I mean, this is good transition. And especially when you feel good about your daughters, those, your older daughters that are, you feel good about them being, doing things on their own. It's not that you need to hover over them. Um, you feel good about that? Your husband's at home now, so that that's also comforting, you know, that's also, um, such a good thing. And so it sounds like there's things that are kind of in place for you. Do you feel that way?

Speaker 2:

You know, with my spirituality, um, I keep asking, you know, you know, God, please tell me when, where, you know, I I'm, I'm waiting and you're right. Like I just need to step back and say, he's telling me I just need to trust him. And it may not be perfect and it may not go exactly as I think it should, but it, it might be time to trust that he has lined things up so that I can do this and I can give back. Um, I think that's, that's a big piece.

Speaker 3:

So if you were to do the counseling degree, if that's something you thought I'm going to do that, um, what do you see as, I mean, what joy or what good things do you see coming from a situate or a decision like that?

Speaker 2:

Uh, focus learning, um, and then, um, being able to give back, um, just our family has had a lot of challenges as all families do. Um, and we've worked with a lot of counselors ourselves and I just think it's necessary right now. I feel a calling, um, to be there for other people in that way. Um, so yeah, I think so you asked what good will come from that, that, you know, that, you know, getting closer to having that purpose of being able to give back and in that way.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So it's not only using your skills. It's also, this is for the good of other people. This is what's happened in my own life. I want to return that.

Speaker 2:

Yes. And I've experienced a lot of things that I feel like I have some perspective on that I could share. That's amazing. And walk with them. Like we do, you know, with the coaching, it's the same type of thing, but with a little bit more, um, you know, they would be challenged in different ways. Yes. That's good.

Speaker 3:

Any obstacles that you see if you were to decide, yes, I'm doing this, what would be the challenges for that

Speaker 2:

Time and finances? Okay. Yes. And those are the things I'm looking into right now, actually good. I'm trying to be inspired by many others who make things work. Yes. And I know it can work. I just have to, you know, trust yes, yes.

Speaker 3:

And we can always make those excuses. Right. It's like those pop-up before sometimes way before the positive things do and they can kind of crowd out some of those positive thoughts as well. Um, so yeah. So I guess when you kind of think about what, what we're talking about today, I mean, what do you feel like, okay, I need to make a decision about the counseling or do you feel like no, I really kinda need to, it needs to be something else that, that I need to fill myself with.

Speaker 2:

Um, I think that's a really good question. Um, I think I should move forward with applying. Okay. Um, however, I still think short term, like that's more of a long-term goal. Um, short term. I still need to figure out how to create more peace and maybe it is just to, um, I, I don't know. I don't know how to create more peace, honestly. I'm trying. Yeah. But I think short-term, I do, there's gotta be something I need to work on something else. Okay. Um, I love reading, I read a ton. Um, yes. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

So you're, it sounds like you're kind of feeling you need, you almost need to establish some, some peace and contentment before moving on to this, this degree. Yes. Okay. And so what is the first step with that? Is it finding something that you truly, that will feed you? Or is it, I mean, it sounds like you're not really sure how to create that piece. Um, what can I offer to him?

Speaker 4:

Um, I don't know. I mean,

Speaker 2:

It's, it's interesting. It's um, I wish I knew. Um, that's, that's the troubling part.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Can I offer just a suggestion? Okay.

Speaker 2:

Any suggestions you want to give me? I am happy to hear,

Speaker 3:

Well, let me ask you this before I offer that. Do you already kind of have a quiet time like that set in the day? No. Okay.

Speaker 2:

And to your point, maybe I need more structure. Okay. Yes. Maybe, maybe that's a piece of what's going on.

Speaker 3:

Hm. Okay. Yeah. What I was going to offer was just even just morning structure, like say, you know, but whenever you get up, what, you know, 7:00 AM, whatever that is, 7:00 AM to 11:00 AM is going to be structured. And let's not worry about the rest of the day. I know that you have a job and probably the rest of the day, is that any way, but whatever timeframe you want to make that. And so you decide I'm going to write in seven to 8:00 AM create peace, and that's all I'm going to write on that. And then you kind of reflect each morning during that time. What do I need during this time? What is going to bring me peace? Um, and so, and then the rest of the time is structured with whatever you want, you know, tea and reading or, or whatever it is, but just, just a timeframe for creating peace. Um, and since you don't know what that is, and I don't know what that is. I think that when you, um, enter that time each morning, it's going to start to come to you. What are your thoughts about that?

Speaker 2:

I love that it reminds me of the Bible verse that I have even I've had people give me a necklace. My daughter has it. It's be still and know that I am God. Yes. And it's, it's a, that's a challenge for me. Yeah. Um, and maybe that's yes, most of us. So maybe that's what I do is put, you know, make sure that that Bible verses ingrained. But then I love that create peace and, you know, it could be in the morning, but I also could do it at night concerning and it's my time. And I let my family know I'm creating pieces.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Whatever that means.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay.

Speaker 3:

So do you picture yourself in the evening more so than in the morning?

Speaker 2:

No. No. Okay. No, I see, um, both times opportunities. Okay. To do so. Um, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Okay. So, and tell me, so if you do, if you decide that that is what you would like to do, what is your accountability like? Is it your phone? Is it, what do you use? What tools do you use for those kinds of things?

Speaker 2:

My calendar. Okay. I mean, it would be where I need to the night before, look at my calendar and say, okay, this is a good time. Or it could be, I try mornings for a little while. Um, middle of the day is also a good time for me. Okay. Um, like after lunch is a good time. Um, and then, yeah, maybe it would be morning or middle of the day, depending on my work schedule. Um okay. That is, that is good. Just to have that time to create

Speaker 3:

A piece. Yeah. I like it. Okay. So if we were to kind of say here, here's the goals, here's the focus, it sounds like it is nightly. Look at the calendar and write in, or is it weekly re write that in all through the week? What were, what would you be?

Speaker 2:

It'd be weekly, weekly. Cause that's, that's pretty much how I do my calendar. Okay. Um, yeah, it would be weekly for sure. Okay. Um, okay.

Speaker 3:

Okay. So weekly, write in, create peace in a timeframe slot that you want. Um, and then, I mean, this, the other focus, I guess, would truly be just to let yourself be during those times. Um, and just to kind of let, let yourself kind of realize what, what it is that it's going to create. Maybe it is just being quiet. I think that's all you need, but maybe something will come to you as well,

Speaker 2:

Perhaps. Yes. Yes. That's wonderful. Just space spin. I think you used that earlier today. Yeah. I just need space. Yeah. Okay. I love it. Me too. Just to process.

Speaker 3:

Yes. To process reflects. Okay. Love it. Anything else that you would say would be a good focus, um, with this? Okay.

Speaker 2:

Focus. No, I mean, I think you, you, you, you know, the space piece, I think, I think that's what I'm coming to realize is that my brain is always going, yes. I mean, even at 3:00 AM in the morning, right. It's always moving and going and thinking and processing and, um, I think I just need some downtime. Okay.

Speaker 3:

That sounds wonderful. All right. Well, we'll check in on things and I'll see how it's going in a few weeks. Okay. Sound good? Yes. Thank you so much, Tammy. Yes. Thank you, sir.

Speaker 1:

All right, everyone. It's Brad. I just pop my head in here. We're now going to go back to these two and they're going to share their thoughts about how to go. So some reflection on the part of the coach and some reflection on the part of the client back to Tammy and Susan,

Speaker 3:

I felt like that went really well at the beginning though. I was a little like where this is, this is wide open. So I'm like, Oh boy, this could be hard to focus in on one thing. Right, right. And it was, I mean, coming here today, I just, I actually thought it would be a little bit more about stress, which it kind of was, but it was really neat how it unfolded and, and the questions that you asked, but then your reflections, those were what helped me to kind of figure out exactly where I am. Yeah. Yeah. I was, it's funny. Cause I, I felt like I, you know, we can always relate to things, you know, and sometimes I get real excited about putting my own input in and I was like, Oh, I hope I'm not doing too much of that, of my own. Like, you know, I think, and I believe that. So anyway, I was hoping that reflections were coming through and not just, here's what I think. So, yeah. I mean, you did such a beautiful job, um, you know, with your reflections, they were dead on. Um, and they, weren't simple because being a coach, you know, is not, they weren't simple. They were, you, you dug a little bit deeper and you were right on, um, which is what led me to be able to figure out, okay, I just need this space. Um, because you know, it's always going from one thing to the next and worrying about a bajillion, different people. And sometimes, you know, you can't see what is it, the forest for the trees or whatever that saying is because there's just too much going on. Yes, yes. There's that other perspective. It kind of clears the way, right. It's like kind of clears those trees out of the way so that you can see a little bit better. So I'm glad that that helped with that. And I think we did, we do, we have, and I think with coaching, it is, it's so apparent that we have so much going on and it's like, if we can just zoom in to what we actually need, it's like, that's where wellness is, is kind of comes from, right. It's like, well, we're, we're taking care of everybody else, but it's like, what do I need for my own wellness? And sometimes we feel selfish about that, but it's, it's so great to like, to kind of bring clients to a place of this is you, this is vital for you so that you can do all these other things beautifully and well absolutely. Huh. Because, because what happens is what's happened to me is, you

Speaker 2:

Know, just through that is thinking, you know, my sleep has been affected and that's a physical piece. Um, you know, I have to be careful about, um, exercise because that can also, um, not allow space because it's so focused and, um, it's moving. Yeah. And, um, you know, and that doesn't allow space for me. Everyone is different. Um, so I think that was, that was another something that I was able to sift through, um, is that I need quiet, um, whatever that is. And it mean, and know if I can shut my brain down long enough just to, like you said, I like the word reflect myself on. Okay. What do I need? Yes. Right. And we talked to our clients about that all the time. Yeah. Um, exactly. But it's hard to do.

Speaker 3:

Right. And a lot of, I know that, you know, in this, it was like, okay, I was kind of racking my brain at, at one point going, okay, what does she need more tennis? Does she need, I was kind of going through like what you had mentioned that you love, you know, you love to read. And, and so then I was like, you know what, I don't, I don't really have the answer. So I felt like you, I knew that you didn't have the answer because you, you said that yourself. And so I felt like you needed to make that clear to yourself in, in your own practice of, of sitting and listening or whatever, you know, having that space. And so I kind of, I appreciated that. I couldn't give you the answer on, honestly, I couldn't offer you much to say, well, here's what I think you need to be doing. Not that we do that as coaches necessarily, but I wanted to so much, you know, it's like I wanted some, since you didn't know, I was like, well, how do I want to know what the answer is? But I really didn't.

Speaker 2:

Wow, Tammy, that's huge because you know where I am now, you really listened to where I am now. Do you know what I mean? If we had gone through a list of things to do, it would have been something that I would have taken home and not done. Yes. Because that's not what I need. Um, interesting. Yes. And you really heard that and you allowed me that space. Yes. To figure out where I need space. That's huge.

Speaker 3:

Cause do you ever feel like we're, we're in, sometimes we want to be fixers, you know, we want to be, we want to have the answer because well, we live out wellness really well. So, so surely we have all the answers, but we don't, you know, and everybody's so different and unique. And so it's like, what would work for me? Isn't going to work for you. And so I can't push on you.

Speaker 2:

Um, so yes. And you did such a beautiful job with that. Well, thank you. And thanks for sharing all of that. Well, it was, it was really good. And now I'm looking forward to creating space. Yes. I'm looking forward to hearing about it seriously.

Speaker 1:

[inaudible] that episode is just outside of our all time, top 10 list, but it's probably the one we received the most consistent feedback about. I hope you enjoyed it. Please reach out to us results@catalystcoachinginstitutedotcomorvisitcatalystcoachinginstitute.com. If you have any questions about pursuing a career in coaching, or would like to integrate this type of coaching into your organization's health and wellness program, thank you for tuning into the number one podcast for health and wellness coaching. Next week's guest is Dr. Abby, Ryan Smith. She specializes in studying how our nutritional choices influence our recovery from surgery or injury. Very, very interesting insights from her that you will not want to miss. Speaking of recovery, we recently had a video over YouTube coaching channel, summarizing the research about what you can do before surgery to improve your outcomes. You can find it about six, seven videos back at youtube.com/coaching channel. And you're welcome to pass along to friends and family members who may be facing surgery in the coming months. This is Dr. Bradford Cooper, the catalyst coaching Institute, make it a great rest of your week. And I'll speak with you soon on the next episode of the catalyst, health, wellness, and performance coaching podcast, or maybe over on the YouTube coaching channel.

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