Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Pet Peeves: The Things We Never Talk About

Alex Alexander Episode 116

Everyone’s allowed to have pet peeves. It’s normal and bound to happen.

In this episode, I talk about common pet peeves; my friends’ pet peeves; and my own pet peeves. Do you ignore them? Deal with them? (Also, how DO you deal with them?)

Some people say to write off friends whose tendencies are driving you crazy. My thought: it’s a lot of work to make new friends! What if we instead navigated that conflict and created a feedback culture in our friendships?

These confrontations don’t have to be big blow-outs. In fact, I hope they’re not; I hope you get to them before they reach that point. 

Like with most things, there is no overarching solution. It’s acceptable to be annoyed with your friends, and it’s also acceptable to give feedback and work through it, because that’s how friendships grow.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The idea for this episode (and where ideas for this show come from); I promise, I am not actively angry with any of my friends right now!
  • Common pet peeves, from phone-interrupted conversations and last-minute cancels to the friend who always tries to fix it
  • How I’ve addressed my own pet peeves and discovered my friends’ pet peeves by paying attention to subtle feedback
  • Addressing pet peeves BEFORE they become major issues and how to give feedback in a thoughtful and non-accusatory manner
  • Getting to the root cause of the frustration and giving friends time to reflect on the feedback – and know that initial reactions might be defensive


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


People on this episode