Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same.
Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you're struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up, you're in the right place.
Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you connect—for real. You’ll hear stories from everyday people (plus the occasional expert), learn what’s working in modern friendships—and what definitely isn’t—and walk away with ideas, scripts, and action steps you can actually use.
Think of it like a coffee date with your wisest, most encouraging friend—the one who tells the truth and hands you the playbook.
🎧 New episodes drop every Thursday. 💬 Want to share your friendship win or struggle? Leave Alex a voice message at AlexAlex.chat.
Follow along on Instagram or TikTok @itsalexalexander and join the movement to rethink how we build connection, community, and friendships in real life.
Episodes
157 episodes
Narrowing the Liking Gap and Feeling More Confident in Your Interactions
Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked away from an interaction and thought, gosh, I was so awkward! They’ll never want to talk to me again.If this is you, you’re not alone, and honestly, it probably wasn’t as bad as you...
•
Episode 156
•
38:24
How to Host on Any Budget (and Not Fall Into the Martha Stewart Trap)
Let's talk about the Martha Stewart trap so many of us have fallen into.You decide you’re going to get everyone together to see your new place. But then you start thinking you need to deep clean everything; you need more seating, more cu...
•
Episode 155
•
28:02
The Benefits of Normalizing Not Drinking at Friend Gatherings
I’ve never been a big drinker. In my early twenties, I remember having to stand up for myself to be included during drinking games, even though I was drinking water.But at a recent gathering we hosted, I realized there were actually MORE...
•
Episode 154
•
23:07
Almost Everyone Has Experienced Friendship Break-Up (Twice!) with Meenadchi
Ninety-four percent of people have experienced more than one friendship break-up.Let that sink in. Nearly EVERYONE listening has been through this heartbreak multiple times – and yet, we barely even talk about it as a society! <...
•
Episode 153
•
1:08:46
It’s Never Too Late to Make Friends
There is a message I keep getting in my DMs, and it breaks my heart every single time. It’s too late for me to make friends. I’m too old. I’ve messed up. I missed the boat.I get why people feel this way. Societel mes...
•
Episode 152
•
46:07
The Dynamics of Couple Friendships
Lots of people tell me they want couple friendships – you know, those picture-perfect foursomes you see in movies, where everybody gets along effortlessly.Here’s the truth: couple friendships are complex! Why? Because you’re not just mak...
•
Episode 151
•
53:13
Re-Thinking Conventional Friendship Wisdom with Jacob Marquez
Calling someone you haven’t spoken to in two years isn’t weird; it’s just being human.Today’s guest is Jacob Marquez, also known as J. Henry, a Seattle-based tech entrepreneur and musical artist whose approach to relationships challenges...
•
Episode 150
•
1:02:16
Why We Should All Want Our Friends to Have Robust Social Lives (Even If It’s Without Us)
Cheer your friends on for hanging out with each other … even if it’s without you!It might sound like counterintuitive friendship advice. But the truth is, when my friends have rich, full social lives, I actually benefit more than anyone....
•
Episode 149
•
51:10
The Extraordinary Ripple Effects of Small Moments of Connection with Amy Stafford
Imagine you’re an expat in Berlin in the early 2000s, with no smartphones, no social media, and barely any internet. You walk down the street and spot someone wearing a T-shirt made by a friend from your past life in Baltimore. Do you approach ...
•
Episode 148
•
1:12:13
There’s a Spectrum to “Belonging” to a Group … and That’s OK!
One of the best things about being part of a group – whether a book club, neighborhood, friend group, or formal community – is feeling like you belong to something.But that feeling isn’t always instant; sometimes, if you’re new, you migh...
•
Episode 147
•
29:32
Moving Past Inconvenience and Leaning into the JOY of Helping Our Friends
Lately I’ve been hearing about how the price of community is inconvenience.You know what I’m talking about: those posts about how, if you want a village, you have to be a villager. You have to give the rides, buy the gifts, and drop off ...
•
Episode 146
•
32:30
Reframing Rejection with Tanesha Moody
When putting yourself out there, rejection is inevitable. But here’s a reframe you might need to hear: YOU are not being rejected. It’s only your OFFER that is being rejected.Tanesha Moody was, at one point, drowning in rejection from ev...
•
Episode 145
•
42:13
Write Your Own Friendship Manual: Building Authentic Relationships While Neurodivergent with Lee Hopkins
Have you ever felt like everyone but you received some kind of friend-making manual?Today’s guest, Lee Hopkins, is a social connections and business culture coach and CEO of Patterns of Po...
•
Episode 144
•
1:03:57
How to Not Feel Neglected in Conversations with Friends (and Why Sometimes TMI is a Good Thing)
It happens to all of us: you leave an interaction and realize the conversation was all about the other person. They didn’t ask a thing about you. Today’s episode is about feeling ignored in conversations with friends. In these situa...
•
Episode 143
•
26:26
[REPLAY] The Enormous Impact of Small Intimacies
Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if I told you there are more ways to feel connected to our friends that are a...
•
36:49
[REPLAY] You Say You Want a Village … But Do You?
Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make enormous shifts to find community; they need to move to a tiny village on the other s...
•
Episode 141
•
36:44
[REPLAY] An Extensive Look at the Wheel of Connection
This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharing these conversations with your friends.In this episode, I share some life updates and ...
•
Episode 140
•
1:03:31
[REPLAY] Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots
About three years ago, many of my friends moved away within a six month period.While I was excited for these friends, I also grieved; my friends are my main support system, my family. How would I keep these friendships alive? I invested...
•
Episode 139
•
47:00
[REPLAY] What Is A Friend? And the 4 Types of Friends We All Have
[REPLAY] FOUNDATIONAL FRIENDSHIP IRL EPISODEThis month, I’m replaying four episodes that I consider FOUNDATIONAL to understanding all other Friendship IRL episodes. These are the episodes that break down the frameworks and mindset...
•
21:55
Reframing the Idea of “Quality” in Friendship
Quality over quantity – you’ve probably heard this phrase when it comes to friendship, right?So many of us strive for a few “quality” all-encompassing friendships, thinking that’s better than having lots of less intimate friends. But is ...
•
Episode 137
•
23:53
The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause
Picture this: you're staring at a text thread with your friend, and you realize you've had the same argument three times the past month. You love this person … but right now, you kind of can't stand them. Today, we're talking about ...
•
Episode 136
•
22:22
Social Engineering Your Way Into Friendship, From Picnics to the Six Points of Connection, with Charlotte Massey
Have you ever moved somewhere new and felt like you were on the outside looking in?This was Charlotte Massey when she moved to Seattle in the midst of the pandemic, when making friends was borderline impossible. Instead of accepting isol...
•
Episode 135
•
1:03:24
All About Fringe Friends
Have you ever felt like you were the “extra invite?” The “filler friend?” The friend who gets invited to the big events but never the intimate gatherings?There are lots of reasons people find themselves in this position. Maybe a big life...
•
Episode 134
•
36:59
Being a Social Artist and Why Friendship Deserves Its Own Soundtrack With Leila Six
There are songs about romantic heartbreak, but where are the songs about losing a friend who meant EVERYTHING to you? That’s what Leila Six and I want to know.Today’s guest, Leila Six, is a singer-songwriter who is asking the hard questi...
•
Episode 133
•
52:38
Navigating the Great Friendship Shift with Ericka Parker
A few years ago, five sets of my friends moved away within a six-month period. These people were my emergency contacts, the people I did Sunday dinners with. I was devastated.This isn’t a unique experience; it often happens to people in ...
•
Episode 132
•
1:00:54