Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same.
Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you're struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up, you're in the right place.
Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you connect—for real. You’ll hear stories from everyday people (plus the occasional expert), learn what’s working in modern friendships—and what definitely isn’t—and walk away with ideas, scripts, and action steps you can actually use.
Think of it like a coffee date with your wisest, most encouraging friend—the one who tells the truth and hands you the playbook.
🎧 New episodes drop every Thursday. 💬 Want to share your friendship win or struggle? Leave Alex a voice message at AlexAlex.chat.
Follow along on Instagram or TikTok @itsalexalexander and join the movement to rethink how we build connection, community, and friendships in real life.
Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Spectrum of Digital Connection, From “Likes” to Deep Conversations
The other day I was telling a friend about my goal to be better about responding to text messages in a more timely manner. My friend agreed: this was something I needed to work on! And this was fair. Other friends have called me out on this, too.
But after recent episodes about virtual communities, parasocial relationships, and online friendship, it hit me that I’m not actually bad at ALL digital connection; I’m just drawn to certain types.
In today’s episode, I delve into the spectrum of digital connection, which I’ve segmented into four levels: surface-level signals, active updates, intentional connection, and deeper dive connections. I cover the purpose and challenges of each and why they matter.
I hope this episode helps you find your “sweet spot” and figure out where you’d like to focus your digital attention, because here’s the thing about digital communication: it’s not just some optional add-on to friendship anymore.
Whether our friends live across the world or ten minutes away, bumping into each other online is one of the primary ways we connect these days, so strengthening this skill will only help your friendships.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
- My four levels of digital connection: surface-level signals, active updates, intentional connection, and deeper dive connections, and examples for each
- Understanding our own strengths and weaknesses in digital connection and the practice it takes to become skilled in each format
- The value and challenges for each form of communication; for example, surface-level signals and active updates are easy to implement but can sometimes feel one-sided
- Common struggles in digital connection, including mismatched expectations, overwhelm, and guilt about missing updates, and how to manage these struggles
Resources & Links
Listen to my recent episodes on digital connection, including Episode 129 and Episode 130, about making friends online, and Episode 128 about parasocial relationships.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
