You Can Do Everything Right And Still Stay Stuck

Stuck on the treadmill of doing more but moving nowhere? We’ve been there. Today we unpack why high performers can check every box—workouts done, outreach sent, content posted—and still feel stalled, and how a shift toward presence, energy, and identity turns routine effort into real results.

We start with a simple experiment: same workout, same time, radically different output when the intent and immersion change. That story becomes a blueprint for business and life. Sales calls land when you picture the person who needs your message. Content resonates when it’s created for a single, vivid human instead of a generic audience. Coaching transforms when you bring the right energy to the moment, not just the right script. Presence isn’t fluffy; it’s measurable performance.

From there, we tackle the FOMO trap of personal development. Consuming every book and podcast can feel productive, but progress accelerates when you choose resources that match your season and constraints. We talk about curating growth to your actual next step—one-on-one depth before complex funnels, focused reps before new platforms—and giving yourself permission to drop what doesn’t fit. Personalization beats imitation.

The throughline is identity. Hustle for hustle’s sake often masks scattered attention. We share reflection prompts to map your inner upgrades: what changed inside before the outside shifted, what you no longer tolerate, and who you must be to deliver at a higher level. Then we connect it to our high impact coaching approach—pairing internal identity work with external systems so results compound across health, business, and relationships. We close with a preview of a tough truth: growth sometimes means not everyone will come with you, and how to navigate that with clarity and care.

If this sparked a shift, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more people can find these tools. Tell us: where will you swap box-checking for presence this week?

Want to lead high-stakes conversations with real skill?

High Impact Mastery Academy (HIMA) by Modern Leadership Coaching helps you:

• Build a repeatable method for the conversations that matter 
• Develop confidence through live reps and direct feedback 
• Create measurable change with the people who depend on you

Apply to HIMA (no calls, 24-hour review):

https://www.modernleadership.us/academy

Transcript

When Action Doesn’t Equal Growth

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Did you know that you could do all the right things and still not grow? Now we work with a lot of type performers. These are people who don't just like procrastinate or not take action. They're the type who take action. They work hard, they learn, they read, they listen to podcasts, but then they look around and go, why is nothing moving? And that's what we're here to talk about today is what to do when that happens, when you're taking action, but you're not seeing the results. So let me give you an example of when this showed up for me. So back when I was working LAPD, um I was trying to work my business. Um I had this thing called a business activity tracker. And what it did is it had like things that I need to do each day, right? Had things related to LAPD, it had things related to my business, had things related to my family, health and fitness. Like I'm a tracker. That's just who I am. You know that, right? So as I was going through this, what I realized is there's a lot of times when I would just check the box, right? We call it just checking the box activities. And I'd be like, okay, did my workout? Check. Um, had a conversation with Teresa, check. Um, reached out to send people, invited them to my program, check, right? And what I didn't realize is I was just checking the boxes and my actual energy wasn't in it. And so I was doing this stuff time and time and time again, and I wasn't seeing anything move. And what was crazy is that when I saw this and identified it, and I started to make those tweaks of being present, but also getting my energy up high for that activity and realizing it wasn't just checking the box, that there was actually some results I was going to be able to get and transformation I was gonna be able to help other people through. It helped me be more present in that box. So I didn't just see them as boxes, I saw them as people, opportunities, connection, that kind of stuff. Example would be my workouts. So I remember that um I used to like listen to a whole bunch of podcasts. I mean, Teresa sees me sometimes today. I still like make a video for a client who has a coaching question, right? And I do this during my workout. I remember one time I tested this out and um and I checked my calorie reading to see how I did when the workout. And the next day I actually did the same exact workout, except for actually, I'm gonna give a shout out to Kane Legacy here. Um, I was listening to Overdrive Radio, which is really powerful, by the way. Yep. But as I was listening to it, I was just getting so much more into the workout. It didn't take me any more time. It didn't take any more, like I guess it took a little bit more energy because when I looked at it, it was like 240 more calories that day than I had done the previous day. And I'm like, it's the same time. And I think about that. Like, if you think about me doing six or seven workouts a week and changing that up by like two or two hundred and fifty calories per workout, and it's easy to see it like a physical fitness kind of like state like that, right? But this happens with everything. It's the difference between coaching, like just checking the box, putting your post out there, but actually instead saying, you know what? Who like needs to hear what I have to say today? And picturing that person in your mind and saying, what do they need to hear? How am I gonna come across? What do I need to say right now to motivate them, to inspire them, to get them to take action? It's different than just typing a prompt in a chat GPT, copying and pasting it, right? And these things are opportunities that we have in multiple different areas. And so this for me is like evidence that you can be doing all those things because I was. I'm not the type of person who talked myself out of doing things. You know that. I kind of accidentally talked myself into doing more, right? And what I realized is that that is was not the recipe for success, right? Sometimes it's doing less, but doing the other stuff better. That's what really made the huge difference for me. So I'm curious, like what comes up for you when we're talking about this too.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Yeah, it sounds like you were kind of um realizing that rather than checking off the boxes and doing the activities just to do the activities, you were kind of getting into a state of flow. I mean, even with your example with the workout, it's something that just happens because you're kind of like in a different state, right? If you're distracted by a message or by something else or maybe even a thought, then you're not gonna be giving that intensity to your workout. And that could go into any other area as well of whatever business activity you're doing or anything else really in your life. So I think it for me, what comes up is you're getting into a flow, an energy flow that matches the outcome that you want.

Flow State Beats Distraction

SPEAKER_00 4:05

So now that they've heard my story, I'd like you to share something, like how this actually has come up for you.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Yeah, for me, um, I think back to kind of like when I got into personal development. A lot of it was reading books and uh listening to podcasts. So one thing that I realized was that I was kind of getting into this kind of FOMO state where I would see other people with their own personal growth journeys and the things that they were reading and the podcasts they were listening to and all of the things that they were doing. And I thought I was falling behind because I wasn't doing those things or I wasn't reading that book. And, you know, some of those I was I was getting recommendations and I thought, well, that's great. And, you know, some of them really turned out great. I really liked some of those books. But then there were other books where I was like, this just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like it's really speaking to me, or it's not the season that I'm in. So it just didn't feel right. And then I stopped and realized that I needed to identify where I was, what I needed, and then look for the personal development that was going to help me with that. So it had to be personalized. Now I could, you know, get recommendations or whatever, but I think that really focusing on that, like where I'm at personally and creating a specific routine or a specific journey as far as personal development, that's what really truly helped me in kind of getting into that identity.

Personalized Growth Over FOMO

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Yeah. Yeah. I think I think what you just shared right there is all about identity work, even including what I was talking about too, right? It's like the for me, the identity was that of a of a hard charger, a high performer, somebody who just does, does, does, does, as opposed to somebody who like wasn't as present in that moment, right? And and when I started to work on that and I became the type of person that was just present in all those things, it actually helped me like flourish in all of those areas, right? But what you're talking about here now, too, is like, is when you get into personal growth, personal development, you start watching and trying to keep up with Jones's and what everybody else is doing, by the way. We hear this all the time from the coaches that we teach and train of like, oh, this is how I have to run my business. And I'm like, no, not necessarily. That's how the million-dollar business owners are running it. But there's like your identity right now is not in that space, right? It's not the time for you to do that. It's time to start off in a one-on-one atmosphere and all the processes that we take them through, right? But it's it has to do with identity. It's like this is where you are and this is where you need to get to the next level. And if you're just following what everybody else is doing, you're trying to be where they are, yeah, where their identity is, right? Which is is different, right? And there's different paths, obviously, that we can lean into. Um, but trying to pretend like you're just like everybody else and you should be reading everything else is not true. We all have different strengths and weaknesses and things for us to work on.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Yeah. And I think just giving yourself permission to even if you do get into something, let's say a book and you're like, this just doesn't feel right. It's not the right fit, then just move on to something else. And I think that the at the beginning for me, it was like, no, I chose this book. Somebody recommended it. They said it's great. I'm I'm gonna follow through and I'm gonna read it. And I would like push through it. And of course I would learn something, but I feel like it was wasted time because I could have identified where I was in what specific book or podcast, whatever that may be, was gonna help me in that moment. And then I probably would have grown faster. But it was still a good lesson for me to understand that I can trust myself, you know, to choose what it is that I want to read or consume, and that that's okay. That it doesn't have to look like everybody else.

Identity Work And Right-Sized Steps

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Yeah. I want to relieve some pressure from you to have to having to think that you have to follow what everybody else is doing. Like everybody else is going through a different path in terms of what they're learning and what they're growing. They're doing a different type of certification, they're doing a different type of energy work, all that kind of stuff. Like you don't just want to follow people to follow people. So please remove any of, well, somebody else is doing this, so I should do this. That is not the case. It's like when we think about coaching, a lot of times we think about like getting that personalized help that you need in that moment. It wouldn't make sense for me to say, you know what? I think you should do P90X starting out with that workout to like somebody who's 450 pounds. Like, probably not the best fit for them, right? But there's different ways and we have to personalize it. It's the same when it comes to like our identity and growth work. It's like very specific to that person, right? We like to take you through a reflection because a lot of times people don't even realize that they've done this before. They've grown, they've actually become somebody else different in the process. They just haven't slowed down to reflect on it. And when they can reflect on it, then they can go, now I know the path that I can do to go forward because now I've realized who I've become, right? Yeah. So can you take them through that real quick?

SPEAKER_01 8:37

So think back to the time when you first started coaching or you started leading. How did you actually think back then? And this is a really good question. What did you tolerate back then that you wouldn't tolerate now? And this is probably one of my favorite questions to reflect on is what changed internally before anything changed externally?

Note On Next Episode: Growing Apart

Reflection Prompts To Track Identity Shifts

SPEAKER_00 8:58

I think a lot of times we just think see all the lens of through coaching and through leading, but also the times that when we're coaching and leading, we don't realize it. Like as a parent, when you were given that baby, right? And they said, Oh, go home, you're gonna be totally fine, you'll figure it out. What were you thinking? Who were you being? All of those things. And think about like who you are now. It's become a part of your identity. I don't know about you, but I'm a dad, right? And that's just who I am. The first day I had a baby did not necessarily make me change my identity. It was all the things that I did, but also really the things that I had to think and become that made me into who I am today. And so when you think about these different pieces of identity, even a police officer, from a citizen to a police officer, that's an identity change. There's a shift that happens there. And so you can go back and you can revisit that and you can pull out that growth and think about what did I do? Who was I surrounding myself with? What did I not do? Who did I not surround myself with? And all of these different things. So you can carry that stuff with you into the future. And this is really why we teach this whole philosophy of high impact coaching. Because when you are not just thinking about this in one area, but you're using it in multiple areas, not only will you be able to show up the way that you want to in all these areas, but when you coach people through it, both the internal and external sides of this human performance stuff that we talk about, you actually get to actually help other people transform their entire life too. It's not just in one area, it's multiple different areas. And that's why we even created that what it takes to become a high impact coach video, which we'll leave in the description below. But it has a lot to do with our identity change, because when we change that, everything changes around us, which brings up one final change. And this is going to be the last video in our series. And that is sometimes when you're growing, not everybody's gonna want to grow with you. That can be a little painful. That's why we need to dedicate an entire episode to it. Because I want to make you aware of this, because I definitely wish that I had been aware of this. Not only will some people not want to grow with you, but other people, you'll be able to pull out the best, and they will if you approach it the way that we'll share in the next episode.