Why "I'm Exhausted" Is Rarely the Real Issue for Your Clients

Ever hear a client say “I’m exhausted” and feel the urge to fix it fast? We’ve been there too. Today we unpack why that phrase is usually a surface signal pointing to deeper beliefs, sneaky scarcity stories, and a quiet fear of saying no. Instead of stacking more tactics, we show how to slow down, listen longer, and guide the conversation three or four layers beneath the complaint—where the real shift happens.

We walk through a vivid coaching example: a high-achieving leader, parent, and business builder who kept saying yes to everything out of fear she’d miss her one big chance. The result? Diluted focus, chronic overwhelm, and calendar chaos that no time block could cure. By naming the core belief—there’s never enough—we helped her choose one or two priorities, label the rest “not right now,” and watch the tactics finally work. Her energy returned because her attention stopped leaking into low-impact commitments.

We also explore the mindset side of fatigue. Exhaustion can be physical or mental and still be shaped by meaning. The internal loop “I’m tired and failing” shrinks capacity, while “I’m tired and proud of my effort” restores it. We share the precise questions we use to reach the root: What are you protecting? What fear would action expose? What belief makes no unsafe? Where’s the hidden payoff in staying overwhelmed? These prompts help clients see the mechanism behind the feeling so they can’t unsee it—and that’s where durable change starts.

If you coach, lead, or simply want your energy back, you’ll learn how to replace band-aid advice with high-impact coaching that uncovers beliefs, tightens boundaries, and channels effort into what actually moves the needle. Subscribe, share this with a fellow coach or leader, and leave a review with the question you’d ask first when someone says, “I’m exhausted.”

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Transcript

Why “I’m Exhausted” Isn’t The Problem

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So we hear clients say that they're exhausted all the time. And every time I hear it, I notice that I want to start to slow down.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

So you say slow down. Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_01 0:10

I think it's because I know that there's something deeper than that. That what they're telling me is really surface level and we need to get down to the root of what's going on.

From Quick Fixes To Root Causes

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Yeah, 100%. A lot of times coaches will just jump in, give them strategies, ask them if they take their pre-workout, give them a book to read or try to get them motivated and not actually get to the root of the problem. So we're Mark and Teresa. Um we actually run a program called the High Impact Mastery Academy. This is where we teach people a coaching philosophy around how to get to the root of what's actually holding people back. And that's what we want to talk about today. Because when you think about somebody saying that they're exhausted, like usually coaches just jump in and try to quote unquote fix it. And that is not what their client needs. What they really need is somebody to listen and to slow it down. So I'm glad you started off with that. So you say that uh something might be happening underneath, right? And that's why slowing it down as a coach is the first best move. But what do you think it is that's going on underneath?

SPEAKER_01 1:01

It comes from experience because when I was first starting off coaching clients and they would tell me this, whether they're overwhelmed or exhausted, I would try to give them those solutions. I would try to help them with time management. I would try to get them to do external things. But then I was noticing that nothing was really changing. They felt even more exhausted and I couldn't figure out why.

Slowing Down As A Coaching Move

Beliefs Beneath Burnout

The Yes Trap And Priorities

Reframing Exhaustion And Choice

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Yeah, there's this um thing that I was taught when it comes to sales and it's the feel-felt-found model. It's like, oh, I can see that you feel this way. This is how I felt in the past, right? And this is what I found, right? And I feel like there's times for that. We call it mentoring. But when somebody comes in with it, I'm exhausted or I'm overwhelmed. My job as a coach is to really get to the root, like we said, right? Because it always seems like it's pretty obvious, but in reality, it's just you're seeing the leaves of the plant. You're not seeing all of the things that are going on underground, right? Their belief system, what they're currently focused on, right? What maybe challenge they're actually going through that is bleeding over into this other area. This is why we call it high impact coaching, because you can change really every area of their life when you impact what's going on in their brain and get them to see that it's more than just feeling exhausted or being overwhelmed. There's actually something deeper. Oftentimes, this idea of exhaustion or even overwhelm is actually protecting them from something. Like there's something coming up that either they feel they're not good enough to do or they're just unsure about themselves. And this is kind of like a way of kind of like protecting them from having to do this. Now, of course, we can't just blanket say that everybody, this is what they're experiencing. But I gotta tell you, from coaching tens of thousands of people, when you initially have the I'm exhausted, you go back and you can see that there's something that's kind of challenging them that they want to hide from. And they don't realize it because it's not what their brain is offering them as their quote unquote solution or the problem, as a matter of fact. And so by being able to ask some questions and get like three or four levels deep, you will actually find what the thing is. So let me give you an example, right? Um, so I remember a conversation that I was having with a client where she was saying that she was exhausted and she was just trying to think about like what could I do to um, you know, focus on my self-care, maybe manage my time, maybe do some time blocking. And when I jumped in and started asking her some questions, what I realized is there was actually a perspective that was keeping her stuck. She was saying yes to everybody who brought something to her. She wanted to be the best leader she could be. She was growing a coaching business, she was trying to be an amazing mom. And so what she was doing is she had this belief that there was never enough. She couldn't do enough, right? And that if she said no, she would miss out on her one big opportunity in the world. And so, what in reality was happening is she's saying yes to everything. And we know that when you say yes to everything, you're basically saying no to everything, right? You water everything down. And when we got to the root of that and she saw that that's what it was going on, now she can actually make some different decisions. Now she can decide, hey, I want to be very intentional with where I put my time and my energy. And I'm gonna pick one or two things to put that time and energy into. And anything else, it's not a no, but it's a not right now because I'm focused on these things that will move the needle. And what's amazing is then all of the different tactics around time blocking and figuring out her schedule and her priorities, all that stuff kind of totally flowed. The next call, she was like, This is amazing. I can't believe like all of these things worked. And it's because we focus on that perspective, what was actually holding her back.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Okay, so I just want to let everybody know that we're not saying that exhaustion is not real, not at all. We're just saying that how a client responds to it is what matters.

Stay Curious, Go Deeper, Create Change

Lean In When Clients Feel Overwhelmed

SPEAKER_00 4:30

100%. Um, sometimes there's physical exhaustion, sometimes there's mental exhaustion. Um, but that's a real thing. You're putting in energy, you're putting in action, you're taking a lot of steps, right? And because of that, there is an opportunity for you to feel exhausted. But the truth is, is when you're focused on that, you will actually create more exhaustion, right? When you're like, oh, I'm just so exhausted. Think of how that feels in your body. And what it does is it actually creates more of what you don't want. But did you know that you can get to the end of the day and say, I feel exhausted and I'm so proud of myself. I gave it all that I could and I cannot wait for tomorrow to really bring my A game. And so you can take this whole feeling in your body, which is a real thing, right? And you can actually make it worse for you or you can make it better, right? But the beautiful thing is you get to choose, at least if you believe so, right? And that's something that we help our clients do, is they get to choose what's going on in here and how they respond to maybe some of the mean voices that come up, because you don't want to make something that is quote unquote negative even worse. Instead, you can reframe it and you can find a different way. So here's what I want to make sure that you guys all grab onto, especially if you're in this place where you're coaching or guiding people through difficult conversations and situations like this. Okay. And that is when you are willing as a coach to stay in it, to ask more questions and to get curious and really to have a framework or a way to be able to guide people through this, that is where you're going to make the most impact with your clients. Not putting a band-aid on a broken arm, but actually getting to the root of what's causing them to experience this. And when you do, they can never unsee it. And from there, you will realize not only how much action they take, but how much less beating themselves up and getting stuck over and over and over again, what we call in a loop, how you're going to be able to remove that from them. So just remember when this comes up, this is your opportunity, my friend. Opportunity to lean in. Don't be afraid of I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed. It's trying to teach you and them something. Just do them a favor, stick around and help them learn it.