Why Most Coaches Confuse Excuses with Explanations

What if the “smart” reasons you give yourself are the very thing keeping you stuck? We peel back the layers on excuses vs explanations and show how fear often hides behind logic that sounds responsible: I need more clients before I invest, I need more confidence before I sell, I don’t know what to say. These lines feel true because our brains are built to keep us safe, not bold. Once you see the pattern, you can choose movement over waiting.

We share how we coach coaches through this trap without shaming, pushing, or playing guru. Empathy matters, but empathy without leadership enables the stall. You’ll hear the exact shifts we make: reflect the story, name the cost of delay, and ask braver questions that turn insight into motion. We discuss why confidence never arrives on the front end, how action creates clarity, and how to design tiny experiments that reduce risk while building real momentum. From first sales conversations to low-stakes pilots, we map out steps that help you learn faster than your fear.

Expect practical prompts you can use today, for yourself and your clients. Try the pause: when you hear “I just need…,” ask, Is this helping me move or helping me wait? If it’s the latter, shrink the next step until it’s doable now, act, and debrief. This is how you build earned confidence, deepen client results, and lead with integrity. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a coach who needs a nudge, and leave a review—tell us the explanation you’re ready to retire and the action you’ll take next.

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Transcript

Why Excuses vs Explanations Matter

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So what's the real difference between excuses and explanations? And why is this even important? Well, thanks for asking. So if you're a watcher of this channel, you may notice that both the brains and the beauty is not here. Don't worry, my wife will be back next week. But you're kind of stuck with me today. And the reason why is because today's topic is so important, it actually couldn't wait. Now we're gonna get to in a minute like how this actually helps when you understand the difference for your clients. But first, like anything we do here at Modern Leadership Coaching, we need to start with ourselves. Now, for those of you guys who don't know me, my name is Mark. I've been a coach for about 13 years. Me and my wife Teresa created the High Impact Mastery Academy because we want to teach people how to get to the root of what's actually holding them back. Because the truth is the world does not need more coaches, it needs more people who can be trusted with this level of influence. And that's you, my friend. Or otherwise, why would you even click on a video like this? So let me share this really quick from our perspective, since we are the coaches of coaches. Here's some of the things we hear all the time. I need more clients before I can take the next step. I can't invest anymore until I make some more money. I don't feel confident pitching or selling my services yet. I don't even know what to say. I'm stuck. And I don't know why. Now, as a coach, I want you to zoom out for a second. This is very common. I know you already understand this, but a lot of what holds people back is not technical solutions, all the steps they need to take, or getting advice. It's these internal stories our clients tell themselves that keep them stuck. Well, guess what? The same is true for us. As a matter of fact, I find that they can hold us back even more because we understand what's going on and we can actually use that against us. That's why this video is so important today. Now, going back to some of those statements, they actually sound pretty reasonable. Like you're being responsible. I'm not going to take this next step until I find more clients or I make more money. But why do so many good and thoughtful coaches end right here? The truth is, is because it feels so real. And because it feels real, we actually think of this as our reality, the facts, the actual truth. Now I know we actually help people identify this. So why do we get ourselves stuck too? Because we have a human brain. It's supposed to work that way. But when we understand the difference between excuses and explanations, which you're going to learn today, that's when the light bulb really comes on. So stay with me because there's nothing wrong with you. We just need to do some extra upgrades to your operating system. Now, at some point, we realize something subtle but actually important. And that's that a lot of our clients aren't lying. They're just confusing explanations with excuses. And the same is true for us. Now, when we hear it, one of the ways that I see coaches respond in this situation actually hurts their client more than helps them. And that's because they want to be compassionate. They want to feel what their client feels. They don't want to pressure them to think or do anything different. And they want to make sure that the other person really understands that they know where they're coming from. Now, I understand there's a place in coaching for empathy, but the most important thing is to really step up as a leader when people need you most. Now, I don't mean shaming or guilting or trying to pressure or force somebody to take action. That's a different kind of coaching, and we don't do that here. I mean meeting your client where they're at, getting to give them some space, but also not getting power to their excuses because you believe in them more. Now, here's the truth is I think there's actually a harder question to answer than simply, is this an excuse? And that's what happens to a human who keeps waiting to feel ready before acting. Ouch. I know these are difficult conversations, but ones that can change your trajectory and definitely your clients forever. You know this. Confidence doesn't come on its own. It doesn't come from thinking, simply preparing, or even knowing. It comes from doing, learning, getting some feedback, and going out there and trying it again. And anytime we try to postpone it, whether we use things related to money or time or energy, when we truly know that's what we want, we're actually just delaying the inevitable. Now I want to remind you, not only for your clients, but for yourself, this is not about forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. This definitely isn't about selling harder. It's about noticing what your explanations are trying to protect you from. Because if you really want it, and I truly do believe that you do, having this conversation so that you can open your eyes and see what is actually holding you back will give you more power than you can imagine. And honestly, it's what the world needs now more than ever. So the next time you hear yourself say, I just need, I want you to pause and then ask yourself is this helping me move or is it helping me wait?