Why You’re Not Seen As A Coach Yet

Ever wonder why people don’t reach out, even when you know you can help? We dig into the gap between calling yourself a coach and being seen as a trusted coach, and we make it practical with a four-part roadmap you can apply today. No fluff, no hype—just the honest moves that build credibility, spark conversations, and turn quiet interest into paying clients.

First, we draw a clear line between technical challenges and adaptive challenges. Tactics like scripts and frameworks matter, but they only work when your identity and mindset support them. From there, we unpack the first pillar: learning to coach for real. We talk about the difference between mentoring and coaching, why live feedback and practice sessions change everything, and how mastering core skills like listening, clean questioning, and commitment design shifts you from “doing coaching” to “being a coach.”

Next, we move from mastery to messaging. Instead of a one-and-done announcement, we share simple ways to tell people what you do that actually stick—inviting practice sessions, “breadcrumbing” client stories, and asking if someone wants help without sounding salesy. Then we show you how to prove you’re a coach by the way you live: wearing the coaching hat in every setting, managing your mind under stress, and modeling the reliability clients crave. Finally, we talk timing—why seeds need a season, how consistency compounds trust, and what metrics truly signal progress.

If you’re ready to be seen, trusted, and hired, this conversation gives you the path: learn the craft, tell people, show up, and give it time. Want to go deeper? Grab our free training at modernleadership.us/mastery, subscribe for weekly, podcast-only content, and text us your biggest question for a chance to shape a future episode. If this helped, share it with a coach who needs the nudge and leave a quick review to support the show.

Want to lead high-stakes conversations with real skill?

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• Build a repeatable method for the conversations that matter 
• Develop confidence through live reps and direct feedback 
• Create measurable change with the people who depend on you

Apply to HIMA (no calls, 24-hour review):

https://www.modernleadership.us/academy

Transcript

Why People Don’t See You As A Coach

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So, why are you not seen as a coach yet? So, I've been thinking about this question a lot, mostly because I have people who are brand new to coaching all the way through, like very experienced master level coaches who ask me this question all the time. I actually got one of the very specific questions last week. And the way it described it, they said it was super helpful. So I wanted to bring it here to the podcast. Now, the truth is, is this matters more than you think. Because if people don't see you as a coach yet, they're not going to reach out, they're not going to hire you, they're not going to ask for your help. And really, it can like really blunt your confidence in the beginning, especially. So that's why today we want to talk about it. If you ever had somebody that maybe you've been talking to, and then all of a sudden they tell you with a real huge excitement of like, oh my God, I just hired a coach. And it's a coach that does something very similar to what you do. Well, then we need to talk about it today. So, guys, welcome to Modern Leadership Coaching. I'm Mark, my beautiful, amazing wife, Teresa. She is not going to be on. You guys are going to be stuck with me today. She just went through surgery, but she is doing great. She's a warrior and she'll be back here soon. But in the interim, I wanted to step in and really share not only some common questions that people have been asking us, like this one today, but really help you to make the impact that you truly want to make, not only in other people's lives, but in your life as well. Now, for anybody who's been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that what we talk about here is what it actually takes to grow as a coach and a leader. Because I really do believe that the world doesn't need more coaches. It needs more people who can be trusted with this level of influence. Coaching is a responsibility and we can do amazing things with it, but we can also steer people in the wrong direction if we don't do it right. And that is why we are here. We are here to help you do that. Now, I do want to say before we go into this topic, leaning forward into the podcast, that we're going to be changing things up a little bit. Generally, what we'd be doing is we would be posting videos and trainings and whatnot on YouTube and then repurposing them into the podcast. But we wanted to make a little bit of a direction change because we know that we can go deeper into a podcast. We can really help people out on a just another level. Plus, it's so much easier to just put in some earbuds while you guys are listening, as opposed to having to watch a video on YouTube. So we're going to be doing very specific podcast-only content. So if you enjoyed today's episode, definitely subscribe so that you can continue to get this. We're going to be continuing to do it every week, but it's going to be more around things that people who are either wanting to get into coaching or people who are currently coaching could be holding them back, but really how to take their impact to the next level. Now, here's the thing when we talk about this topic today, this whole idea of like you're not being seen as a coach yet, um, I don't want you to think of this in terms of shame or guilt. What we like to do here is just bring awareness to things that might be happening in the background that you actually don't know are going on, right? And so when I was having this conversation with a client, and they were basically saying, and by the way, they didn't say exactly like, hey, I'm not being seen as a coach yet. They're saying that they're struggling with finding clients, that people are not reaching out to them and having conversations around how they can hire them. They're jumping into conversations and then later finding out that that person hired a different coach, these kind of things, right? And by the way, that's gonna happen no matter if you do what it is that we're gonna talk about here today. It's just that when you lean into this, you're gonna have a much less of a chance of doing that and going down that path where somebody is either not gonna know that you're a coach or not gonna want to hire you if you employ some of the things that we're gonna talk about here today. All right. I've broken this down into four very simple pieces, all right? Four very simple pieces. Now, for anybody who's been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that when we are really trying to help people, when we're stepping into becoming a high impact coach, we know that there's two potential problems that somebody can experience when it comes to where they are, where they want to get to, right? And that middle gap, right? Now, a lot of us think that what we have is a technical issue. A technical issue is like steps, processes, frameworks, questions. It's the technical, what do I do? Right. Most of the time, we do not have technical challenges. We think we do. What we actually have is an adaptive challenge. And what this means is we have to be willing to believe or to think different. And really, it has a lot to do with the be do-have principle, has a lot to do with like who we are when we do those things. I was talking on a previous podcast about losing 100 pounds. And everybody always asked me what I did. They never asked me who I had to become. And when you realize that it's who you become, who you are when you do these things, you get to see that the technical solutions are great, but they don't matter if you don't work on the adaptive uh challenges first, right? So it's kind of one of those things where you could Google search these things a million times, but just because it's telling you what to do, if you find that you're still getting stuck, it's because you have an adaptive challenge that you're being presented with. Okay. So as we go through today, I'm gonna talk to you about some of the technical things. I'm also gonna talk to you about some of the adaptive ones, but this is gonna be more of a technical-based training than an adaptive one. But I am gonna bring this up because whenever I have a one-on-one conversation, it is always me asking questions and finding out and getting to the root of what's actually holding them back rather than just giving a blanket statement here. But I do want to share with you how I went through this process with a client so you can see it in action. All right. So let's get into this. So why are you not seen as a coach yet? So when we think about that, I think about it in four different pieces, all right. And these are very simple pieces, but I want to make sure that you see them all so you can see where you have the greatest opportunity to grow. Number one is first off, you haven't actually learned how to coach. Now, when I put this list together, I actually had three and I didn't have this one on there. But I think this is so incredibly important. A lot of times people think coaching comes naturally. And I do have to say, like out of, you know, hundreds of people that I've certified and over 13 master coaches that I've certified, very few of them have been able to do this without some kind of training. Coaching is just like a profession. You have to be willing to lean in and to learn the skill. And it's not just asking questions. Now, here's the thing like you're going to find some different certifications out there that talk about just getting really good at asking questions and things will surface. And if you have a natural gift for that, like I'm all for it, that did not work for me. And it doesn't work for a lot of the people that we come into contact with because after people have gone through those certifications, they ask me to get certified through the High Impact Mastery Academy. And then they understand, oh, I was just trying to do coaching rather than becoming a coach. And so the first step that I always think is so important is you have to learn how to coach first. Because you haven't actually learned how to coach. And by the way, there's a great opportunity while you're learning to actually share with the world that you're a coach. It's very hard to just go out there, ask random questions, and do what we call mentoring, which is what a lot of people think coaching is. Mentoring is like talking about your past, what you've been able to achieve, what you've been able to learn, the ways that you learned it. All of that stuff is great, but all of that stuff does not address your client. That is just you sharing where you are in your current situation, which in occasion is helpful, but most of the time it is not. You have to get to the root of what's actually going on with your client and being able to help them. And so whatever it is, like being able to learn how to coach, is step number one. Now, of course, you guys know we have our high impact mastery academy where we help you not just learn how to coach, but to become a coach and become a master at it. But there's plenty of other organizations and stuff that are out there that have really great frameworks and they put things together in order to be able to step into the type of coach that you truly want to be. Just make sure that it is something that is not just modules to review where you actually get feedback, you get practice sessions, and you get to elevate how you're coaching in the moment, right? So that is step one is learning how to coach. Now, if you've learned how to coach and people still do not see you as a coach yet, step number two is you haven't told anyone yet what you do. So I know this is like super basic, but do you know how many people that I actually have conversations with that they actually haven't told anybody that they're actually a coach? Yeah, by the way, I'm not saying like going on social media and saying, hey guys, I just decided to become a coach moment, right? I've seen those all the time, and like nobody hardly responds to that, right? One of the ways that I do see really being effective is like, let's say you're going through a certification. I know for ours, we actually require this from our students, and that is for people to go out and to do practice sessions. And just sharing, like, hey, I've decided to become a high impact mastery coach. And in the process, I'm gonna have an opportunity to connect with people and to do free practice sessions. After this, I'm gonna be charging for this. But while I'm going through this certification, I would like to extend it to the first three people to reach out to me to be able to jump on a practice session. As long as it's okay for me to record it, I'll be able to help you through any struggle or challenge you're currently going through. Now, this does two things. Number one is it's telling them that you're learning how to coach. But number two, it's telling them that you're actually a coach, right? You're actually a coach. Now we teach something, a little bit of a sidebar. We teach something inside of all of our programs that is a three-step process for learning to find more clients, right? We actually did a workshop on this recently. It's actually, if you listen to a few episodes prior to this, you'll be able to find it, talking about how to find clients. But it is meet new people, tell them you're a coach, and ask them if they want your help. Those three things is how you actually grow a coaching business, keeping it super simple, right? But it starts off with telling people that you are a coach and telling them what you do, right? So that is number two. Number three, and I think this is actually even more important than number two. Number three is you haven't shown anyone yet that you are a coach. So the second one was telling them you're a coach, right? What this does is it actually plants the seed in them to start watching you and seeing the actions that you're taking. So if you've come out and you're like, hey guys, I'm a coach, and then you follow that up with like not being able to coach yourself, not being able to effectively lead yourself through situations, disappearing from social media, doing all those kind of things. What you actually show them is that you're not the type of coach that they can depend on. So this is something very, very important. All right. Now I know things happen, things come up, and I know that like there's going to be times where you have to take a step back. If it's intentful, it's on purpose. Okay, I totally get that. But when you're leaning into becoming a coach, you have to really be able to show up and take actions from the level of a coach. Now, this means two things to me. Number one, if you're showing people you're a coach, number one is you're wearing your coaching hat 24-7, 365. I remember when I went to a dad edge conference, I went into the conference, they put us into like little mini breakout rooms. And in that breakout room, by the way, when you really master coaching, which is what we really teach coaches to do, you don't have to think about putting your coaching hat on. It's just on all the time. And I remember having this conversation uh inside of the mini breakout rooms. And at the end, one specific person on the right turned to me and said, Let me guess, you're a coach. And it was kind of funny because it kind of caught me off guard. And I'm like, How did you know? And he described it as just the way that I got curious and asked questions, really got him to see a couple of things that he didn't realize was there. And he's like, You have to be a coach because of the level of questions that you're asking. And so that's what I mean is you're wearing your coaching hat everywhere, meaning at work, meaning with your family, with your kids, with your spouse, anywhere you go. When you learn how to coach, really what we teach is learning how to manage your mind. When you learn how to manage your mind, you get to bring your mind everywhere. And you want to show people how you can help them by literally coaching, right? So by being able to do that is really, really powerful. Now you're showing people that you're coaching. Second part of this equation is actually coaching yourself, right? Coaching yourself. So I've seen people who have become coaches and afterwards they come onto Facebook or Instagram or whatever to vent. Listen, I know that we all need times to vent and to talk to people, but if what you're doing is putting out into the world that you're not a coach, even though you said you were, but you're not able to manage your mind, it's very hard to be able to convince people that you not only have their best interests in mind, but that you can help coach them, right? Now, I know one of the hardest people is to coach yourself, which is why we spend a lot of time doing that instead of the certification. It's because being able to coach yourself shows people that you can coach yourself, that you could very easily coach them, right? So this is part number three. So you haven't shown anyone yet. And that's by both wearing your own coaching hat wherever you go and coaching yourself. Right? Now, if people don't still see you as a coach, part number four is you just haven't given it enough time. You haven't given it enough time. So you've learned how to coach. You've been telling people what you do. By the way, telling people doesn't necessarily mean like, hey guys, guess what? I'm a coach. We coach a lot of people to really step into their strengths. And for some people, it's live events. For some people, it's at work. For some people, it's social media, some people it's podcasting, some people it's YouTube, some people it's Instagram. Like, we don't subscribe to a one size fit all anything here. It's just like coaching. Like you can't give people the exact solution to their problems if you actually don't know what their specific problems are, right? But when you're doing this, being able to breadcrumb things, being able to plant seeds of like what it is you do. Like I was just speaking to a client the other day. I had a question that came up from one of my coaching clients. All of these kind of things, plant seeds. Remember, this won't get people to immediately reach out to you and have a conversation because you actually haven't shown them you're a coach yet. You've just planted the seeds. But planting seeds is very, very important, right? You can't reap any harvest if you don't plant any seeds. So once you've told people what you do, the third thing is you've shown them what you do. If you continually show them what you do, then you just haven't given enough time. Haven't given enough time to have people be there in the ecosystem, all right? So these are the four things. Now, I know that I talked a little bit in step number one about what if I haven't learned how to coach. If you haven't learned how to coach yet, I want to share a free quick resource with you guys. We created a video called What It Takes to Become a High Impact Coach. Teresa and I both did that. It really goes deeper into the standard that we really believe that coaches have to rise themselves up to. And it's what actually coaches need to coach well. So if that resonates with you, you can grab it in the show notes. Or if you go to modernleadership.us forward slash mastery. So modernleadership.us forward slash mastery, you'll be able to sign up and get a free copy of that training. Talks a little bit about what we do, but also what it really takes to become a high impact coach. All right, couple quick things. I know that I said that we're going to be answering a lot of questions. We're going to be talking about some of the clients that we have been able to help and what has really helped them, some of the challenges that come up for them. But if you've got a question, pop into the description if you're on Apple Podcasts or whatever, and you can click on the text that says send a text. It will be able to send us a text. I'll get a message. Ask me any question that you think will be important. If I think that it's going to really help out the team, I will make a podcast episode for you. And hopefully Teresa will be present too. So you can get two perspectives on the same question. Now, I also want to say this. I know you're very busy, but if you really enjoy the show, a rating review goes a long way. So we'd really appreciate it for that. And lastly, I just want to say thank you for what you do out there every single day. The way that you show up, not just when things are easy, but when things are hard, when you're coaching yourself, when you've got your leadership hat on, when you're making an impact in the world. It's not those E times when we do that. It's the hard times when we decide to show up anyway. So thank you for doing that every single day. What we call leading from the front. Thank you so much. And we will see you on the next episode. And hopefully Teresa will be back by then. All right. Have a great day, and we'll see you soon. Bye, everybody.