To Live List

Crisis is a Moment. Body is a Lifetime.

• Delia Grenville • Season 1 • Episode 6

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In this episode, we talk about a life and wellness social post that really resonated with our online community #30dayrules. We talk about wisdom of getting self care and self parenting. I share some comments from our community members. So insightful! We wrap up with a excerpt from my life and wellness book and tie in how we stay connected to ourselves. 

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Trust me, you don't wanna miss Delia Grenville. This is to live list by life and wellness. I'm saying it's what you really need. Sharing the life advice of good energy, yeah seeking, understanding, amazing topics from ransom, rambling. You beat a fan when you beat the channel, face your fear. Overcome internal battles. Let's go. You don't wanna miss this. This is to live this a don't wanna miss. This. So today is Sunday, July the 17th. Last week we did not have a live session cuz we were dropping our son, our second child and last child off to summer camp. And folks, parents, people who were kids in a family. Let's just say we are feeling the empty nester syndrome right now. Even though our son's arising senior and he'll be back next year. I don't know, something sort of hits you like we're at the end. If my husband said we're at the end of an era, an end of an era. So cheers to us for being at the end of an era and I think our kids are the, they're at I, Oh wait, let me dial that back. I remember being their age and being so excited to get to my substantial upcoming freedom that I thought was gonna be so amazing but didn't know it. Involved paying for yourself, paying for bills, doing all those kinds of things. Paying way too much of the percentage of your grocery money on a cleaning items. You remember that the first time you go to university or college and you're living on your own or whatever it is and you buy groceries and then you realize like 25, 30% of the groceries that you picked up the items, the percentage of the bill, it was on things like utilitarian things like toilet paper and Lysol and stuff like that. And you're like, wait, what is this adulthood? Is this what my parents were doing? And you're like, then you start to clue in. It's not just gonna be fun and parties the whole time, but up until then you're super excited. So I remember the super excited part and we've been living with that for the last three years between our daughter and now our son heading off to launch their own lives. But this time for sure, with this house being a little bit empty, we're starting to realize, whoa, we need to have a plan. So I wanna talk about that eventually in this forum cuz I think it's the whole journey around how do you parent yourself through getting through these different phases. Because ultimately our best parents are ourselves. We need to be able to nurture ourselves and find the right support in our adulthood and adulthoods really the majority of our lives. So we have a chance to parent ourselves in the way that we want to be parented. So that's a whole other conversation that I hope to have with this community. So now that we've had a little bit of lead in, let's talk about what we're gonna focus today. So as I listed in the caption for today, today is our first look back episode. So if you're learning a little bit about how this podcast works, we have four types of episodes. I have listed them in the stories, but I'm gonna say them once again here. Wisdom and bots, that's when we have a really creative thinker aligns with our community and our forum and they'll come in and they'll do an interview and we'll talk about stuff and it'll be really cool. And then ransom ramblings. So that's an opportunity for you awesome readers who have read my book or any book in the series, once all the series is available to participate in a live interview. I love talking to real people about their thoughts and how they think the world should work. And so looking forward to doing more of those. We did one already and we have a couple more books so I'm excited about that. And then a totally self-indulgent thing that we haven't done yet, which is gonna be random sort of life lessons and discussions, weird coincidences, I love that kind of thing. Things that happened that aren't supposed to happen, you don't understand why it happened, but how were you in the right place at the right time, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So there's a series of those that I've been collecting. So I think those will be fun. And then today's episode, we are going to do a look back post if you're on the live or you can see in the comments where I listed. You can go back and look at the posts that we're about to talk about. I think it'll be fun to look at it in the context of what the post meant to those people who read it when it was originally posted, where it's going now, how that particular post was a post that inspired me to really focus the first book of the series on life and wellness because it's clear you can't do all the things we wanna do without having a body <laugh>. So let's talk more about that. I wanted to start by putting the post up there on the share screen, but I feel like that's pretty risky today cuz I have cut off this podcast several times already by trying to share the screen. So I am going to trust that people can go out there and find the posts themselves and get onto the link. I put it in the comments and they can click on the post. Hopefully you guys can do that. Eventually I will figure out how to make all these mechanisms work. But for right now I think that's the best we can do. I'll tell you a little bit about the post though. It's a post. You can get to it in the comment section on the post details in the event section. You should be able to see it. I did list it up there. So if you can see I've listed it says it's a pin comment and it says it's a look back post. So if you're on the live, you should be able to see it and when you click on it you'll be able to see the original post. But for right now, I'll tell you what it said. Cause when you're listening to this in the car, you will not be able to click on my computer so might as well tell you what it said. So picture a serene environment and on the serene environment is list listed. The words the crisis is a moment, the body is a lifetime. And let me tell you what was meant by that. So this post was originally placed in this community. I did this 1,630 days ago. So this actually quite mature as these digital things go. And this was way back in January of 2018, which seems like a lifetime ago cuz in 2018 as on the horizon for any of us could there have really been that we would've lived through a pandemic. But we have and we're two years out of that. So it's just an unbelievable time and I think a lot of what we were focused on back then was our own of mental health and how to support our own self care in the world that we were in in 2018. And it's still such an important topic. So let me read you what the post said. We've all done it at least once. We chose to value a crisis over our body. Why does that happen so readily? Even when we know the habit and can see it coming from a mile away, then somehow when it's right in front of us, we can still believe the crisis is more important than our body. Now that might not sound like a challenge to you, but it is from my experience, whether you choose the crisis over your body or the other way around will impact how you get your work done, what you eat or drink that day, whether you exercise, how much you sleep for example, as we go through our journeys, here are three tips that may help. One, knowing where we stand about our bodies is important. Tip number two, looking at the crisis and reminding ourselves a crisis will fade. They generally do. And then tip number three, deciding given a choice, what experience do I wanna have? So here's a good place for us to start together. Given a choice, what experience do you wanna have? Please comment with your response. So that was opposed. If you click on the comment link, you will see it there. You can click. There were a lot of responses to this back in the day I think there were like 7,000 likes, which for my community is huge and 300, maybe two, I dunno, I don't wanna lie. Two 50 shares or something, which for my community is huge. So I think that's exciting that this really resonated with a lot of people and I think it's something that's still worth talking about. So let me share some of the comments that people make cuz I think that's so amazing how interactive people were on this particular post. One person wrote this hits me hard and I was like, yeah, be present with yourself, take care. It's your body, right? And I'm gonna welcome everyone here as I welcome the people back in 2018. Join us as we continue to explore to our self development. So yeah, join us as we continue to explore our self development cuz we're glad to have you And just really open up this conversation. We're gonna have really tough periods. I know during the pandemic it was really a lot for a lot of us and that was a crisis for a lot of us. And I know that looking back, I wish I had been in the mode to really continue with this community during that time period. But I was on a hiatus and thought I'm gonna restart in 2020. And then 2020 happened and most of us 2020 happened. And anything that we thought we were gonna restart in 2020 is happening now in 2022. But having lived through that particular crisis, I think I know how I could keep and help support in this community throughout another crisis of that level. And I think it's just so important that we're together to do self care for each other and just remember that the crisis is a moment. And look, even the pandemic in is not where it used to be, but how we care for ourselves and care for our bodies. That's for lifetime. So that's the post I think. Oh yeah, I was just looking at some good comments. Oh, I like this comment. Probably not politically correct, but this is for adults so hopefully your kids aren't listening right now. But one person said, yeah, real shit. And I do think it's important to just keep it real. And I think we get so focused on being in our stands or on whatever side we are on that we forget we're all having this real common human experience and it's really important to realize why are we stressing each other out? It's not gonna make it better for any of us. There's so many different ways for us to interact with each other, have discourse, avoid drama, all of those kinds of things. One person wrote you can take care of your body in a crisis sometimes. And then they said the crisis, I should say this again. You can take care of your body in a crisis period. Sometimes the crisis makes you change in a lot of ways. I know I did, this particular person commented and I think that's true. We often miss that chance of seeing it that way. Being in the midst of the crisis, there's a certain amount of self-discipline in or awareness or practice or experience wisdom. I'm trying to come up with a lot of words so people don't get too tied into one idea of it where if we can recognize that we're going through a crisis and then remember that it's only gonna last as long as it'll last, but the goal is to make it through, then we might have an opportunity to handle our situation differently. So good thing to ask people too when they're talking to you about those kinds of stories. So what did you change? I was really curious about this comment. The person never said what they changed, but I would've liked to have known what they had changed. Cause I think that's pretty cool. Oh, here's another good comment. We must remember that we are under pressure from our emotions. And that's kind of a place I like to play in terms of philosophy and how we view the world. So can the scientific world and the physical world and the chemical world and the medical world and the social world and the cultural world and everything sort of meshed together. And we have these laws of physics, these Newtonian laws of physics of things staying still if they're still inertia or things moving once they get moving. And we understand the concept of gravity, we can't literally, well people can't literally see emotions except for the expressions and everything on our face. But it's not like, oh here's a jar of happy. We can't really see them. But I do believe that they have their weight and their physical space and their physical impact. And so I really like that this particular community member mentioned that, that we must remember under, we're under pressure from our emotions. We can feel them. That's what I took away from that. There's a feeling with them and sometimes they sort of press the world up for us and give us a lot of space to be free and move around and whatever. And sometimes we get compressed by them and feel constrained by our emotions. But all of that happy, sad, up, down, all the directions that emotions go. I mean they're there for a time, for a moment and then we need to don't know what's happening next. So enjoy it when it's great and try to remember that you'll get past it when it's challenging. And I don't think we say that to each other enough. So I just wanna remind people you can get past it when it's challenging. So there was a really awesome post and it's probably gonna be the last one that I talked about unless I forgot one. Oh I had a few. So let me talk about this longer one first and then I'll wrap with some of the shorter ones. This one person wrote. And for me it was very touching. I wasn't expecting this. The community at the time was relatively new and even though the posts itself had gone viral for this community, not millions, just 7,500 folks. But still it was really touching to see some of the comments. And when we're doing look back, that's what I'm trying to make sure that the folks that are just joining are in line with the people who are already here. So if you weren't here in 2018, I just wanted to share what this was said here from that post, which said the crisis is a moment, the body is a lifetime. And just reminding folks that to have a strategy to take care of themselves, to do that self parenting, which I think is so important. If you didn't get it in your childhood, you still can take care of yourself. So knowing where you stand about your body is important. Looking at the crisis and reminding yourself that the crisis will fade. So the person wrote, this is huge, I'm printing, I'm posting on my fridge. I am a person who eats when I have any kind of feelings. Now with that being said, I'm such an emotional person, happy for people or sad or angry with my own issues. Anger is so easy and is always my go-to before sad and hurt I guess I started this back when I was younger and it was no big deal then because I was into sports. But now it's a huge deal. I recently turned middle forties and my body has been through through a lot and it's feeling the junk that I've been doing to it. This is a statement I need to remind myself about daily. And then the person goes on to talk about a friend of theirs who got a tough diagnosis and is going through chemo. And I thought that was so important to say, right? Because with chemo and watching her friend go through all of that and saying to herself, Well I'm in midlife, what am I doing? I just thought this is so the real stuff that we're supposed to be talking about. And I was hoping that person or someone in real life and not just an online community but sometimes of an online community is what So I did respond to the person about really what they can and can't do and I can share that with everybody if you haven't got to that comment yourself. I think the person said they had gained four pounds this month. I was just like, oh gosh, mom, little do they know 2020 is coming. I think I gained four pounds in a week sometimes in the pandemic. But I like the person's outlook at the end. They said it's so hard to change habits but it's not impossible. And I think that was really the message that it's so hard to change your habits but not impossible. So I think I related to the person and said, what an emotional rollercoaster you've been on. Yes, pin it to your fridge. I had lost my mother the year before, so that's five years ago now and I didn't usually post about her, but I think that year I started to and I decided to share a story about her on my blog site and you can go check out my blog, my blog's called Delia keeps it real.com. So Delia keeps it real.com and you can see any old post, any of the posts that are up there. I think one of the things that made me really think about crisis in the moment and processing all of that, and I know a lot of people are going through this, there's been a lot of grief lately, a lot of loss. So I really want to keep that on the forefront of some of our conversations because if you, you've gone through that, it's sort of ebbs and flows. So some days are really great, some days you're not, some days you don't wanna talk about it. Some days you do and it's really not easy to lose someone or to watch someone as they transition to out of life. And I don't know about anybody else, but I know I ate a lot under the stress when that was happening with my family and my mom. But then the thought and the post came to me also. And so I really wanted to share that with this group and that the crisis will pass and then, and I think that's the big conversation. And then so how do we support ourselves? How do we do that self care, How do we do the parentings? I'm not gonna talk too much about that cause I feel like we're gonna talk about that in weeks to come. But I do think that's the end then what is kind of like why we're here in this conversation? Some good comments to end this. So 100% this person said this hit me just right. And I think that's all. I mean I think that's the fun part, being able to put something out there on social media. Back in the day when we were talking to one another all the time. So like 1500 days ago or whatever that the post was posted, we were still having conversation with each other and we could relate to each other and it didn't matter what who we were and where we showed up in the world. We had things in common that we can speak about, how we can take care of our bodies. So that really was exciting for me and still exciting for me and I hope that that kind of engagement come continues on as we grow the community. So as always, I'm gonna read a little bit from the book Rans and Manly. I wanna encourage you guys, please go get your coffee. It's a short read. Take you less than an hour to read it if you read it all at once. Or you can take your time, read posts at a time, use it as part of your daily journaling, however you handle it. That is great. There's a lot of different ways that people have told me that they've engaged with the book. If you do read the book, you will have the opportunity to pass along your name and to see if you will be one of my future podcasts interviewees. Cuz I like to talk to real people and real people bring real conversation. And the more we share our ideas with the broader community, the more opportunities we have to sort of help our country, help our world, help our kids, and all of these amazing things that we can do by sharing ideas together. So usually at this part of the podcast, what I do is I share a little bit about how you read this book and then I read one of the excerpts book. So how do you get started? This is a short read and I like to say how you get started. I have always wanted a book to read with new ideas, big ideas. I imagined a book that was easy to follow and perhaps even reread, but with enough space to inject my own experiences into what I was reading, I could never find a book that was exactly what I was looking for. Creating the book that I was searching for became the inspiration to design the rants and rambling series on wisdom topics in short bursts that the reader could pause and reflect on. Every title is a short post similar to your journal. Each post was designed to have at least one big idea and often several more ideas that you can reflect on. So my call to action to you as you read through each post, think of each title more like a conversation than anything else. Stop to pause and reflect. Close your eyes, take a deep breath as you check in on your own experiences. Highlight at least one big idea that aligns with your values or one that challenges your viewpoint. Use those ideas or conversations as conversation starters or as part of your next social media post. The goal of Ranson rambling on life and wellness is for you to take time to ponder and to reflect on your self care and how you advocate for your health. I share my story so you may be part of the story by reflecting on your own experiences by the end of the book. My hope is that each reader will strengthen their perspective on their life and wellness. So I wanted to read you this little expert out of page 22. Give yourself time. So in the spirit of the post that we talked about, which was like 1,630 days ago or something like that, giving ourselves time is an important part of the process that I thought was good to talk about that. So give yourself time. This is the beginning of year three of my body reclamation journey and I'm finally going to start checking out yoga and dance classes over the next few months until I find my tribe. I was attending classes when I left California and even at the beginning of our move to Portland then I'd live through the period that I refer to now as the hashtag unraveling. Give yourself time to get back on the wagon, follow your curiosity if you can treat yourself. My goal is to get myself a new bike. The tendency to be hard on ourselves for taking longer than we expected can overshadow that we made it. So give yourself time. So going back to what we were talking at the beginning, right? The post was the crisis is a moment, the body is a lifetime. Give yourself time to heal, to get over the crisis, to figure out what you're going to do and then remember to acknowledge that you got to the other side of it so when it happens again, you're ready. Thanks everyone for joining me today on our Livecast to Live list. You'll be able to get a recording of this at the end of the livecast. The video will be there and as the episodes are ready and begged and when the podcast goes live on other platforms, I'll let you know so that you can share with your friends, family, and network for now. See the next time. And I'm looking forward to seeing and hearing what's on your to live list. And you know what? This to live this dont this to live this.

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Delia Grenville

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